This Day in History: December 8

When I chose this arbitrary week to see what happened This Day in History, I hoped for fairly happy things that were somehow relevant to things I am interested in at this present moment. Unfortunately, December 8 may stand in the way of all that. December 8, historically speaking, is a fucking depressing day. Time will only tell how December 8 shapes up for all of us today.

Anyway, here are some depressing things that happened in history on December 8 to ruin your morning:
--Obviously, since yesterday was Dec 7, there is some bad shit going down in relation to World War II. Everyone's declaring war on Japan. But don't forget the other front of the war. Lots of bad Holocaust things are happening too.
--Tons of flights went down and ships sank.
--Someone threatened to blow up the Washington Monument and somebody else shot and killed 8 people in Australia. In 1998 there was a massacre in Algeria.
--Ann Coulter was born.
--And also on this day, John Lennon was shot and killed in New York City. So if you want to get all depressed about it, start reading from the beginning of the entry but as you read, use your mental record player or YouTube to put the music of "Imagine" to this day of heartbreak.

But, if I may be so bold, I don't think John Lennon would want us to get down in a funk about it. So now I think you should start reading from the beginning of the entry again but with something happy as the background music, like "A Hard Day's Night." Or if you're weirdly morbid, maybe something like "Run for Your Life," which is the creepiest and scariest Beatles song in my opinion. Maybe I should have written a more interesting introduction if I was going to have you re-read the entry so many times.

Is there anything to redeem the misery of December 8? Well, for a southerner like myself, it's interesting to note that Eli Whitney was born this day in 1765. He invented the cotton gin, which takes the seeds out of cotton. Man oh man did that help the south grow economically, though of course the invention required slaves to pick the cotton before it was de-seeded. So I don't want to celebrate the device per se, though I do like cotton, and I really like the part of "Gone with the Wind" when Scarlett O'Hara goes, "Why, we'll plant more cotton! Cotton oughta go sky-high next year!" Even though that part falls in the part of the movie where Scarlett is becoming cold and hardened in her attempt to get enough money to hold everything together, I think she is kinda sweetly hopeful there.

But really, the only hope that we have for the day of December 8 comes in the form of the birth of Anna Sophia Robb on this day in 1993. So far Anna Sophia Robb is most notable for her roles in "Because of Winn-Dixie," "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," and "Bridge to Terabithia." I'm not thrilled with that last one because I don't think that book should have been made into a movie but oh well. She seems to be a fairly promising young actress and has reached the age of 15 without any major scandals which is more than you can say for that Miley Cyrus. Who is actually 16 now as she has made painfully clear in many television appearances. But she was 15 when that whole Vanity Fair stuff went down. Anyhoo, go forth and prosper, Anna Sophia Robb. You're December 8's only hope.