20 questions with my mom

Everyone got a lot of insight into my dad when I interviewed him on his birthday. But what of the other person who molded me? On the morning of December 28, I decided to interview my mom. I approached her as she was doing the Sunday morning crossword on the couch.

Molly: Mom, do you think I will realize my goal of writing 200 blog entries, and if so, do you have any ideas for things I can blog about?
Mom: You will definitely reach your goal, because when you set your mind to something, you will get it done. They may not be the most interesting blogs but you will have 200. Now as to what you can blog about, I'd say Christmas decorations, because there are plenty to take pictures of here. You could blog about after-Christmas shopping--are there really bargains? And that poor girl who gave us her gift card that she got for Christmas for not even at face value at Dress Barn yesterday. That was weird. Why aren't there Dress Barns everywhere? Why do we have rain and no snow? And the Midwest has so much snow that they're flooding. And this would be good (at this point, Mom digs out a section of the newspaper). Read this article about this woman who paints designer shoes. It says just wear fancy shoes and no one will notice your wrinkles.
Molly: Okay, my next question…
Mom: You don't want any more blog ideas?
Molly: Well, I have to get through 20 questions. And it sounds like you mostly think my blog lacks weather-related content.
Mom: Well, I check the weather in all cities I've been to. Did you see there was snow in Las Vegas? Did you ever imagine it could snow there when we were there? People always talk about going to New York at Christmas to see all the lights, but what about Las Vegas? There are lots of pretty lights there.

Molly: Speaking of Christmas, tell us about this Christmas.
Mom: I tell you what, it was hard to get ready for it. I was not a happy person. There were lots of decorations to do and meals to plan. And every year, my little family says that it's okay if the decorations don't get done and that they're happy just to have pizza. But when it's all done, it's worth it. We had a pretty big Christmas, since Dad did so much shopping. Maybe he was overcompensating for my lack of Christmas spirit. But there was no recession in this house. I was most excited about the doughboys.

Molly: What was your most memorable Christmas?
Mom: Probably the one where I got a dollhouse. I had asked for a dollhouse, but when I couldn't find it, I got upset. It turns out they had put it on the sun porch, and we never went onto the sun porch. Kink was in the middle of cooking something and had to stop to show me where the doll house was. Then there was one Christmas, I was in 6th grade, my then-boyfriend made a big deal of giving me a present. It was wrapped up all red and white with sparkles. It was big and heavy, and my family gave me a hard time about it. I started to get nervous so I opened it up when no one was around. It was just a pencil resting on a big block of wood, because I always borrowed his pencil in class. I was so embarrassed, because what was I going to tell my family? It was a joke, and I thought it was going to be a very thoughtful, I care about you present. But everyone was nice about it.

Molly: Which of your childhood traditions have you carried forward to our Christmases?
Mom: Opening stockings first then having a sit-down breakfast. Getting the kitchen clean before opening the presents under the tree, but that doesn't always happen. Opening the presents one at a time and going around the room. A big Christmas dinner was not one of my childhood traditions though because my father was always gone to services. We had a party that night when he got home with all the family and friends. We probably went somewhere else for lunch, like Lucy's.

Molly: What is your favorite Christmas tradition? Either a current one or one from when you were younger.
Mom: I like going to the Christmas Eve service. That's one from when I was younger and from now. I like drawing each other's stockings. We didn't do that when I was young because Mother did all the stockings. She wrapped all the stocking stuff too. I tried that one year but it was too much trouble

Molly: If you had a million dollars, what would you do?
Mom: Hmm. I'd divide it up and give it to my children, because what do I need it for? Then I would hope they'd give some of it to the poor and needy. Not all of it, because I want them to live a nice lifestyle, which will probably never happen in this economy.

Molly: If you had to be on any game show or reality show, which one would you be on and why?
Mom: Wheel of Fortune, because I like puzzles. But I don't like to watch that show because the people are such idiots. And I don't like reality shows, other than Dancing With the Stars, and I can't dance.

Molly: If you could have a guest star role on any television show, non-game show or reality show, which one would you be on and why?
Mom: Seinfeld, because it's about nothing. I don't want a speaking role. Maybe I could just do nothing in the background of the coffee shop. I'm too self-conscious to sit with them. I'd rather be on the outside looking in.

Molly: What did you think you would be when you grew up?
Mom: Well, all my friends wanted to be schoolteachers, but I knew that was not for me. I always wanted to grow up and be a mommy like my mommy. Stay home and not work, but I wasn't a good stay-at-home mommy because I don't cook and do domestic things. So I had to get a job.

Molly: What was most memorable to you about the day I was born?
Mom: Well, it was April Fool's Day. Since you were the first one, I wasn't sure what labor pains would be. So I wasn't sure I was in labor, but we went to the hospital anyway. We were halfway there when we remembered we hadn't turned the alarm clock off. This was at 3:30 or 4 in the morning and we didn't want to scare the cats. So we drove back home, and I don't know why I did this, but I insisted on going back in the house with dad to turn the alarm off. Then, there was no doubt that we needed to go to the hospital.

Then I remember thinking you were so beautiful. But you weren't. You had a big knot on your head and you were black and blue all over. You weren't really pretty but we thought you were the most beautiful thing we'd ever seen. Then you got the hiccups and we didn't know what to do. Dad ran down the hallway shouting, "my baby has the hiccups!" and the nurses just laughed.

Then we brought you home and it snowed--in April. Mother came and cooked meals and cleaned up and I played with you all day. I thought, this is so easy. She even got up with you in the middle of the night so I wasn't tired. Then she went home.

Molly: How did you pick the name Molly?
Mom: Well, the first criteria of the name was that you couldn't make a nickname out of it, because both Dad and I had names that were nicknames. We already had too many Elizabeth's, plus that had too many nicknames. Catharine was already taken, plus it could have nicknames. We had a book and we went through it. I remember Wendy and Molly were the options, but Dad says Wendy was never an option. Thomas was an option, but that's a nickname-y name. We were pretty sure we'd always have a George. But it was pretty well always decided that you were going to be Molly if you were a girl. We didn't know if you were going to be a boy or a girl until you were born, though.

Molly: What is your favorite food?
Mom: The potato. Because it can be fixed so many different and delicious ways.

Molly: What was your life like when you were my age?
Mom: How old are you? 26? Well, this was the first Christmas that I knew Dad. I was working at the bank as a secretary. He went to New Jersey for Christmas, and Mother and I drove to Sewanee for Christmas. Pete and Anna Cay were at seminary there and Mary Henry was a baby. I got an unfinished dollhouse. Then we came back and Dad went to Charlotte because he was still kind of dating someone there and had already planned to spend New Year's Eve with her. (Writer's note: My eyes were bulging out at this point. I had never heard of this) Then he came back on New Year's Day and told me things were over in Charlotte. He won't remember this, though. That's one of those things that girls remember and guys don't.

Molly: Man. Any other things like that you'd like me to record for posterity in my blog?
Mom: For at least the whole first year we dated, we only went out on one night of the weekend. Either Friday or Saturday. He'd call up on Wednesday and let me know which night it was going to be, and I made my plans accordingly. That was for at least a year but he'll deny that too. I knew things were serious when we went out on both weekend nights. Actually I knew it was really serious when he asked me to go to New Jersey for his first college reunion. It was really cute how he asked: "I'd really like you to go to my reunion but you'll have to pay for your own airfare. I'll pay for the reunion but you pay for airfare. Do you think you could do that?"

Molly: What was most memorable to you about your wedding day?
Mom: I had to wake up really early to wash and roll my hair, and then I sat under the hairdryer. As we were driving to the church we happened to pass Dad and his brother driving the car to the place we'd pick it up after the service. I thought everything was doomed because I wasn't supposed to see him before the ceremony. He didn't see me though.

Molly: What do you like most about being an empty-nester?
Mom: Not having to plan meals.

Molly: Where in the world would you most like to go?
Mom: I'd like to go to England and branch out to Europe from there.

Molly: Describe your ideal morning.
Mom: Sleep in til I wake up naturally. Get up and have the coffee already made. Sit and read the paper. Do the cryptoquote…no, the jumble first and then the cryptoquote. Then Sudoku and then the crossword. Then someone brings me breakfast.
Molly: You can do all that on an empty stomach?
Mom: Well, not without coffee. I would like eggs one morning, pancakes the next, then French toast. Then back to eggs. Fried one day, scrambled the next. You know, from 9th grade on, I had breakfast in bed every day. I had breakfast in bed on my wedding day actually. That was the last breakfast in bed I had.

Molly: I need one more question but I don't have any.
Mom: How about you ask me for new year's resolutions?
Molly: Okay. What are your new year's resolutions?
Mom: Well, I don't really ever tell people my resolutions because I don't keep them.
Molly: Then why did you suggest it as a question?!
Mom: Well, maybe if I put them in print somewhere I'll keep them. I'm going to try to be a better person. Stay in better moods and think more about other people.

Molly: Do you have any words of wisdom or a message for my readers?
Mom: Don’t believe anything you just read. It was 3 in the morning and I was drunk.