a magic phone

Today's Picture of the Day shall serve as a cautionary tale. You see, I'm getting ready to go to a party here in a little bit, and hopefully I will have fun yet not act too unladylike. That's why I'm posting a picture of this antique phone, which is in my family's kitchen. When I was a little girl, nothing could make me behave like this phone. According to my parents, this phone was a direct line to both Santa Claus and my school teachers.

Obviously, you can understand why I'd be concerned about Santa Claus getting phone calls about my behavior. But often, I was far more worried about a school teacher getting a call. When I was in elementary school, I desperately wanted my teachers to like me. And not in a casual, we'll pass you onto the next grade kinda way. In a, why don't you come over to my house and we'll talk about what we think about books kinda way. So if my kindergarten teacher, for example, was getting calls from my dad about something embarrassing or some bad behavior….well, that was very traumatic for me. And since the phone was on the wall, I was too small to reach up myself and make any phone calls to explain myself. Plus since there were no other phones like that I was a little unclear about how the whole thing worked.

So that's why today's Picture of the Day is cautionary. If I do anything inappropriate at the party, then someone might have to use the phone. And my advice to all you parents out there is to find some sort of antique by which you can contact Santa Claus and other important figures in your child's life. It will both confuse and scare your kids, which as I understand it, are the main two goals of parenting.