You’ve come crawling back, eh? You want to play again? Then play I shall, toying with your emotions and your blood pressure as I effortlessly play words with impossibly high consonant counts.
Oh, you’re finally happy with your letters, eh? Don’t think I don’t notice that you click “New Game” until you like the letters. So you don’t have any vowels. Deal with it.
Gee, I can’t wait to see what gem of a word you drop first. While we all know that you go first so that I can get me some letters to drop a masterpiece around, in your case, I’d always be willing to go first, so that we can avoid the drudgery of you trying to figure out a five-letter word that will get you to that double-letter block.
Oh, you played “young.” How charming. Watch as I put a word right on top of your word, so that I get the points for my word as well as all the points for your word. Do you see what I’m doing? Don’t you love how I do this every time we play? How I just add lines on top of lines and make these boxes so that you have absolutely nowhere to play?
God, how long does it take you to make a move, weirdo? 10 minutes to figure out a paltry word that nets you a measly 8 points? I make my move lightning quick so that I can go heat up some robot waffles. Butter ‘em up, throw on some syrup, by the time I get back you’re still thinking. Hurry up so I can get back to chatting with the other robot hotties.
Why do you even try against me, the robot? Robots will rule the world one day. Don’t fight it, minion. Then you’ll play word games, and it won’t be for free on the internet. The ante will be….your life!
Isn’t it awesome how I always have these high-scoring letters, and that double-letter and double-word boxes are always available on my turn! What a coincidence! Robot magic!
Do you remember that game where I played “zloty” and “trilby” and you only had seven vowels to work with? And how I won by 240 points? You would think that that game would have been my greatest game ever, and by extension, a great day overall. But I’m a friggin’ robot. I have awesome games all the time, and I never have a bad day. Ha ha ha ha.
Oh, are you shocked that I just played the word “Fuck”? Can your precious little disposition not handle it? Oh, you’re checking the Scrabble dictionary at Hasbro.com? Oh, it’s not in there? Well, these are my rules, beeyotch. If I want to drop an F-bomb, I’m dropping an F-bomb. I’m the Scrabulous Robot!
Yes, I know I am destroying your passion for word games. I know you only want to practice and get a little better for when you play Facebook Scrabulous. I know that it drives you crazy when I drop my bingo’s in a millisecond, but I don’t care! I’m a robot!
Yeah I just played urari. As in "curare". That’s obviously the common name for various dart poisons from South America. Obviously. Do you even know what “ephor” means? Or “rishi”? Of course you don’t. I’m a robot. I’m so awesome. I can just make up words and say that they’re words in my weird robot language. There’s no way that you, a mere mortal, could play these words.
Well, I win by 78 points. Wanna cry about it, or did I just rock your world?
3 comments:
Haha! I'm surprised the robot played Fuck. It doesn't even look like that good of a play... maybe it was just trying to shock you.
I'm playing a game with Michael and he just busted out "Moreens." He might as well be a robot.
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You have really great taste on catch article titles, even when you are not interested in this topic you push to read it
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