BAM(H)! POW! SOB! Television Edition

Here are some questions that BAM(H) had about issues related to television:

7. Why is the History Channel only interesting when Hitler is on?
I wouldn’t say that the History Channel is ONLY interesting when Hitler is on; there are also numerous “Who Killed the Kennedy’s?” specials that I enjoy. Here’s an interesting analysis of why Hitler and the Nazis are on the History Channel that someone else wrote: http://archive.salon.com/may97/media/media970508.html. But here is a cute anecdote: the other day, my mother, brother, and I were searching for something to watch on television, and we settled on “Forrest Gump.” About 20 minutes in, my mother noticed the History Channel logo in the bottom right-hand corner. “This is the History Channel?” she asked, disbelievingly. “This is probably the longest that I’ve ever watched the History Channel! Someone go tell Dad!” Because my dad is pretty much always watching the Nazis on the History Channel. He hates those damn dirty Nazis.

8. When is the next slap on "How I Met Your Mother?"
First off, if you do not watch the show “How I Met Your Mother,” I would recommend that you do. It is very witty and clever, it features Neil Patrick Harris, and the main character looks a little bit like John Cusack. That’s like three good reasons to watch it.

So anyways, if you don’t watch the show, what happened is, Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) lost a bet to Marshall (some actor whose name I’m too lazy to look up), and Marshall won the right to slap Barney five times at any time of his choosing. Before the third slap, a web site was created to count down to the slap, and it just took place, on the Slapsgiving episode. Here, watch Marshall sing about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzpYeHTiEGY

There are two slaps left. Well, I can tell you the next slap won’t be anytime soon because of the writer’s strike. Sometimes I worry about whether the show might get cancelled before all five slaps occur, and then fans will have to live in perpetual fear, just as Barney does, of looming slaps that never come. I do think the last slap will occur in the last episode, perhaps in a flash forward moment, or even better, the show could just fade to black with a look of fear in Barney’s eyes. And then we could debate the HIMYM finale the way that Sopranos fans debated their finale. Did Barney really get slapped? How? Is he dead? Why is a Journey song playing?

9. Why is the "Family Guy" advertising for Subway?
I found a quote from Howard Nelson, vice president of worldwide promotion for 20th Century Fox licensing and merchandising, that said, “Subway’s attitude and irreverence is the perfect platform for the ‘Family Guy’ brand’s trademark twisted humor.” I am somewhat surprised that Subway views itself as “irreverent.” But anyways. Here’s my theory. Subway felt that it had been appealing to skinny people for far too long, and it was time to make sub sandwiches unhealthy again. That’s why they have this new gigantic sandwich that Peter Griffin is shilling, and also why they have introduced these personal pizzas that they have. Those pizzas are delicious though. I would recommend one with sausage, tomato, and onion.