Okay, that last entry was a lie. Here is why there have been no blogs since November 4. I have been training for a competitive eating contest. My specialty is pancakes. I can eat pancakes like nobody's business. Here's my trick: eat a pancake, take a shot of syrup. Then a shot of tequila. Everything just slides down to the stomach real fast that way. Anyways, it got hard to blog because I was eating all the time and the last thing you want to do on a full stomach is blog and then my stomach exploded and I had to go to the hospital.
I tried to blog from the hospital and I wrote the funniest post ever. It was so, so funny I can't even begin to tell you. I was laughing so hard that all of my stomach stitches (from the surgery after my stomach exploded from eating so many pancakes) got ripped out and my ribs cracked and I figured that entry was just so funny that I couldn't post it on my blog or you guys would get hurt as well. And I had to stay in the hospital for a little bit longer.
One day, my doctor was handing me a laptop for blogging purposes and I guess I moved funny because he accidentally conked me in the head with it. I had amnesia and forgot how to type. Then when I remembered how to type, I realized I had forgotten all my internet passwords, including my blog password. Once I remembered and got out of the hospital, I wrote this entry first thing. So that's why there have been no blogs for the past 14 days.
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