Molly wanna cracker?

Well, I'm going to take a break from Bryan Adams videos today to talk about something equally important: celebrities and important historical figures that share my name.

For a long time in my life, Molly seemed like kind of a runner's up name. There was this restaurant in Hendersonville, NC when I was little called Molly's, and it was called that because the guy who owned it had two daughters, Wendy and Molly, and he figured Wendy already had a lot of restaurants named after her. So as much as I enjoyed driving by that restaurant, there was a little twinge of sadness that it was just a consolation prize. Also, something I have heard more times than I care to think about is, "I have a dog named Molly!" Apparently a lot of people name their dog Molly. That makes me feel just great. But with a little research, I have developed this list of some other Molly's:

Molly Pitcher
Who was this Molly? Molly Pitcher was a very brave person who carried water to men on the battlefields during the Revolutionary War.
How is this Molly like me? We're both very heroic, and try to keep well-hydrated.

Molly Ringwald
Who was this Molly? The redheaded star of movies such as Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink.
How is this Molly like me? We're both members of the Brat Pack. We both dated Anthony Michael Hall.
Additional thoughts: I don't really like Molly Ringwald, because she's so whiny and petulant.

Molly McIntire
Who was this Molly? This Molly was the American Girl doll who lived in 1944, during the war. Her dad is off in the war. She had a victory garden. She didn't like turnips and one time couldn't leave the table because of that. She wears eyeglasses. She had a birthday party, she went to camp, and she went to school.
How is this Molly like me? I think we look alike
Additional thoughts: Well, Molly the American Girl doll was okay, but I was really more in the Samantha camp. Samantha had much prettier clothes (Molly's were too plain and modern-looking for me) and a happier narrative. So Samantha was the doll I had. It pained me a little to not support something named Molly when I was a youth, but I still got a kick out of seeing my name everywhere.

Molly Brown
Who was this Molly? One of the survivors of the Titanic, a.k.a The Unsinkable Molly Brown.
How is this Molly like me? Both of us have had our lives converted to popular musicals. There is a 50% chance that Kathy Bates might play me in a movie in the future.

Molly Weasley
Who was this Molly? She is a character in Harry Potter who known to worry and nag her kids a lot. She saws a curse word in Book 7 that is making quite an impact on the internet.
How is this Molly like me? We're both just magical, yet both worry about the impact of dark magic on our lives.

Molly Malone
Who was this Molly? This girl was a fishmonger who would push her wheelbarrow through the narrow streets. She spent much of her time crying "cockles and mussels." Then she died and even her ghost had to do that all the time. Now they sing about her in Ireland a lot and name pubs after her.
How is this Molly like me? I am a great with a wheelbarrow, and I like pubs.
Additional Thoughts: What I wouldn't give to marry someone with the last name "Malone" so that I could be Molly Malone and get free drinks all over the world. Bonus points if this person's name is Sam Malone, like Ted Danson on Cheers.

the Molly Maguires
Who was these Mollys? Hooligan gang members who caused violence and distruction wherever they went.
How is this Molly like me? I would like to think that I do this, metaphorically at least.

Molly Jones
Who was this Molly? The life of Molly Jones was captured by the Beatles in their song "Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da". Basically she was a singer in a band, and then she married Desmond Jones. She taught him how life goes on and whatnot. He gave her a ring, a home sweet home, and a couple of kids. She lived happily ever after, doing her pretty face.
How is this Molly like me? I am frequently singing nonsensical syllables and then tacking on a life lesson.
Additional thoughts: Sometimes when I was younger I would lie and tell people that I was named for this song because my parents really liked the Beatles. But really my parents just liked the name. I just wanted some intrigue because everyone else was named after someone meaningful. One time in high school I was supposed to imagine where I was in twenty years so I married myself off to a fictional Desmond Jones.

Miss Molly
Who was this Molly? Good Golly! This is a girl who likes to rock and roll and she sure likes to ball. When she hugs and kisses people, it makes them "ting-a-ling-a-ling"
How is this Molly like me? Probably something related to the ting-a-ling-a-linging? I don't even know what that means.

Red Molly
Who was this Molly? Red Molly is in the famous Richard Thompson song "1952 Vincent Black Lightning". Red Molly likes motorcycles and is left the titular bike after her boyfriend dies.
How is this Molly like me? We both date dangerous men.

Molly Ivins
Who was this Molly? Liberal political commentator from Texas
How is this Molly like me? She wrote sharp and incisive commentary on presidents; I write something kind of resembling commentary on Bryan Adams videos.

Molly Sims
Who was this Molly? Actress/model.
How is this Molly like me? She used to be an Old Navy spokesmodel; I also have gotten checks from Old Navy.

Pacific Molly, Sailfin Molly, Black Molly, etc.
Who are these Molly's: a genus of freshwater fish also known as Poecilia
How are these Molly's like me: Good swimmers

Flogging Molly
Who is this Molly: an Irish punk band
How is this Molly like me: Both great at fiddling and the accordion.