It's been a long day. It yielded nothing really interesting to blog about. It was the kind of day where you just want to come home and watch tv. So I introduce a new feature, "What is on TV tonight?" We will see what is on tv, channel-by-channel. It is 8:10 p.m. Here we go.
12 - Antiques Roadshow. Some woman just found out that this thing shaped like a pig had a lot of worth. Now there is a different woman with a painting. I do not like the painting and do not care how much it is worth so I am switching.
13 - Looks like a crime show with snarky investigators. I bet they catch the perp.
14 - Home shopping. They are selling blazers with knotted fringe. They are telling me that I better call now, and good luck getting through.
15 - More home shopping. They are selling a toy plane.
16 - More home shopping. They are selling a thing you put in a chair and it helps your back. It looks kind of like a frisbee.
17 - More home shopping. They are selling presidential coins. Mildly interesting and a potential Christmas gift for my dad, but I am moving on.
18 - A preacher just totally made a woman dance! Turns out she had groin pain and a toe amputated! (I don't know how the two are related) Now she has no pain! Thank you Jesus!
19 - Looks like a nighttime soap opera for people in their fifties.
20 - A woman is singing a spiritual and people are feeling the spirit.
21 - The Seattle Channel is talking about the Pike Place Market in World War II.
22 - The King County Channel is talking about identity theft.
23 - Some public access channel is showing the state human rights commission
24 - C-Span is having a Katrina summit. I cannot understand what this guy is saying.
25 - C-Span2. Don't know what they're talking about, don't care.
26 - I have no idea what channel this is, but they're talking about security on ferries.
27 - A surgery. I don't know what of, I had to quickly change the channel. Gross.
28 - It is impossible to tell.
29 - Soap opera in foreign language
30 - Baseball game, Mariners 5, Los Angeles 3.
31 - Commercial for a car
32 - Basketball game, USA 18, Puerto Rico 13
33 - Commercial for identity theft protection. Some guy put his social security on a truck and drove it around New York City. I googled it. Apparently everyone has blogged about this already.
34 - Geico commercial. I'm not gonna lie, I like that little gecko.
35 - Food Network. It is a guy. I didn't know there were guys other than Emeril on the Food Network. He is making a mousse.
36 - The Travel Channel is talking about Austin, TX, and two of my favorite things--barbeque and live music
37 - History Channel! I watch for two minutes and see no mention of Nazis. I am pissed. Changing channel.
38 - I think it's a show about busting people for identity theft. Can't tell for sure.
39 - Austin Powers #1 is on. It might have been long enough since I've seen this movie that I might enjoy watching it again. But I have never been too fond of Mike Myers since I read all about his feuds with Dana Carvey on the Wayne's World 2 set. Who gets into a feud with Dana Carvey, honestly?
40 - Sponge Bob Square Pants. This show is too loud and colorful for me to watch in my current mood.
41 - The Emperor's New Groove is on Disney, which I only identify by Googling John Goodman, David Spade, animated.
42 - Some cartoon with an elephant
43 - A commercial about kids playing with educational software and becoming geniuses.
44 - CNN wonders if we're doing enough to rebuild New Orleans
45 - Halle Berry is talking about being a depressed celebrity, I guess they are talking about Owen Wilson. That story makes me very sad and I am changing the channel.
46 - Mad Money. This show makes me nausous with all the camera angles.
47 - Someone is talking about crime.
48 - Fox News is talking about Miss South Carolina and her wacky answers to pageant question. Poor girl is 17. Also, she's from South Carolina...she has enough against her. Zing, South Carolina!
49 - Court TV is showing an arrest. A kid is crying. Very traumatic.
50 - A cow is telling me to drink soy milk. The cow has too much attitude for my taste.
51 - It's a commercial for a douche. I'm not even making that up. Oh, apparently it's Lifetime.
52 - Some guy is driving somewhere, maybe to make some dreams come true.
53 - The Aviator. I like Cate Blanchett, and I like Katherine Hepburn. This movie attempts to combine the two.
54 - Law & Order. Do you know that I have never watched any Law & Order all the way through? I feel pretty good about that.
55 - Everybody Loves Raymond. Bleh.
56 - I don't know what this is.
57 - Some girl is having a drug freakout I think.
58 - I don't know what this is.
59 - Commercial for a car. Now a commercial for tooth whitening strips.
60 - Commercial for appliances
61 - Some guys are talking about renovating a truck so that it's "insane"
62 - It is a commercial for a show that is going to talk about rich celebrities. They are saying that Oprah flies her dogs first class.
63 - It is MTV. It is a fashion show.
64 - MTV2. I forget the guy's name, but it's the song by the guy who was found to be dancing with an underage girl at his concert. I could Google it but I don't want to. I am pretty sick of this song, and I don't even listen to the radio.
65 - It is E! They are talking about Christina Aguilera's fashion evolution.
66 - Top Chef. Maybe I would care about this show if I cared about cooking, or if I could eat the food.
67 - Raising Helen with Kate Hudson. Kind of uncomfortable to watch with this whole Owen Wilson thing going on.
68 - Some people who had their home remodeled by strangers are looking at it. They seem kind of ambivalent about it.
69 - Commercial for insurance
75 - Nat King Cole is singing a song.
76 - A powerpoint presentation about drugs
77 - No idea.
78 - Weather Channel. It is currently 70 degrees in downtown Seattle. Tomorrow it will be sunny!
2 - Commercial for a truck
3 - Commercial to eliminate debt
4 - It looks like a hidden camera show, but I'm not sticking around to find out.
5 - A special on the history of Saturday Night Live, right now they are talking about Bill Murray. I might come back to this. I like the skits with him and Gilda.
6 - Dr. Phil is dealing with what looks like a mother/daughter pair who have had some drama. I don't care what about.
7 - One of the 55 game shows hosted by Drew Carey, followed by a commercial about cervical cancer. Is there a connection there?
8 - Commercial for Home Depot
9 - PBS is talking about Katrina
10 - Commercial for a toy drive
11 - Gilmore Girls. It is the episode where Lorelei sang karaoke and Luke walked in to see her singing "I Will Always Love You". Kinda makes me teary.
And we're done! Hooray! Either I need a better cable package, or I have just presented concrete evidence of a civilization seriously in decline!
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