Ryan Seacrest to Miley Cyrus: “You might be the most famous person to our viewers.” That is just insulting, Ryan Seacrest. She is whining how she doesn’t have any friends.
Keri Russell is very beautiful but her dress is such a weird color that it doesn’t look like she’s wearing one and also it highlights how uncomfortably skinny she is.
WHY ARE THEY STILL TALKING TO MILEY CYRUS? She has gotten the longest interview ever. Now they’re talking to her mom! What is up with Miley’s weird mouth? She says she can’t wait to be back here with her own movie, so we can all see how much she loves film and her craft and bullshit like that. She just promised to give Ryan Seacrest a call later in the week. The thing is, I think she really will. Creepy.
E! has decided that red is the color of the night.
Ryan Seacrest just asked Jessica Alba if she was going to breastfeed. I’m not going to lie, I’m not completely sure who Jessica Alba is. I think I get her confused with Jessica Biel.
Cameron Diaz just admitted that she did not get Drew Barrymore anything for her birthday. Can you believe Drew Barrymore is 33? For a long time Drew Barrymore always seemed really old but now 33 doesn’t seem old to me. I guess she’s just been in the biz a long time. I should probably clarify that Drew Barrymore is not there. Cameron Diaz is just talking about her. Cameron Diaz is wearing a pink dress. It’s okay.
Marion Cotillard is very beautiful, perhaps wearing my favorite dress of the night so far. But if she wins, that acceptance speech is going to take forever, unless she just bites the bullet and does it in French.
I just don’t like Hilary Swank, but I don’t know why.
Tilda Swinton is talking about how she doesn’t understand the sex appeal of George Clooney, and how she’s never ever seen the Oscars. I just feel like she is pissing on America.
Colin Farrell said that if he weren’t an actor, he’d like to make something with his hands, like hats. Ryan Seacrest thought he was joking, but Colin was deadly serious when he said he wanted to make hats. I get the sense that Colin Farrell is always deadly serious.
I just took a vote of my Oscar party guests, and we all agree that we don’t like Hilary Swank, which makes me feel better.
Do you think that there are a lot of babies named Viggo in the past few years? It’s kind of growing on me as a name.
Katherine Heigl is wearing the reddest lipstick that Ryan Seacrest has ever seen!
“Women hot. Guys very charming.” is the way Ryan Seacrest sums up the night.
Okay, so it’s 8:00, which means we switch over to ABC for another red carpet show. A few years ago, they started some rule that the network that hosts the Oscars gets exclusive rights to show the red carpet right before the show starts or something. It’s frankly kind of pointless and we’ll probably see the same interviews we just saw on E! But this time we get Regis!
George Clooney, showing himself to be the consummate nice guy, asks Regis about Notre Dame football. Maybe his girlfriend’s dress is my favorite.
Helen Mirren looks lovely. Amy Adams is very polite. Regis is talking to the oldest Oscar fan. What am I wearing? Thanks for asking. A green shirt and jeans. Hilary Swank is on again?!
Okay, only a few minutes left so I'm going to go ahead and post this. Here's a shot of the crazy Oscar party I am hosting---this is Barnabas reading the current Time Magazine cover story on George Clooney. You might recall that Barnabas is pulling for a Michael Clayton sweep.
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