Well, I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that it was tough to go back to work today, after a nice, long, holiday weekend. I spent my 4th of July in Candler with the family. Though our activities mostly involved eating, I was still able to learn lots of things on my trip home. I decided to blog about all the things I learned, each day. Here we go.
Thursday: In which I drive from Atlanta to Candler, eat at Mellow Mushroom with my brothers and go to a Jenny Lewis concert with my brother George.
I learned that…..
….Atlanta traffic is not that bad if you get to leave work at 1 p.m.
…..Ronde the cat is still impossibly cute
…..Tiki the cat is still rather grumpy when I am around
…..my brother William is starting to look and act eerily like my father.
…..waitresses who show up for their Mellow Mushroom shift directly after “gardening” are often too spacey to be very effective in serving.
…..the Mellow Mushroom in Asheville was out of nearly every local beer.
…..my brother William has some frightening sort of mojo or reverse psychology that can make me agree to eating Hawaiian pizza when I really want to eat White Pizza.
…….it’s better to just compromise and order two pizzas, particularly if one of the pizzas is a White pizza.
….short people who are pissy about having to stand behind taller people at a concert should get to the concert earlier
....the Heartless Bastards are a good opening band, and the lead singer of that band looks like a Muppet.
….a new stylish look, as worn by Jenny Lewis, is a cut-up white t-shirt with a black bra underneath.
….Tecate is a tasty beer suitable for performers, as evidenced by Jenny Lewis’s enthusiasm for it.
…..Jenny Lewis posters are nigh-impossible to get, as they sold out just before I was able to buy one for my brother, and none of the staff members were willing to get the one out of the locked marquee for us.
Friday: I ate coffee cake, cold cuts and chicken, went shopping with my parents and sat on the porch.
I learned that……
….Sara Lee coffee cake is delicious
…..I might be allergic to Ronde the kitten
….shopping for dishwashers is difficult
….dishwasher salesmen might be creepier than car salesmen
….trying on hats at antique stores is fun
….if Hardee’s is out of lids for their medium-sized cups, they will upgrade you to a large.
…..a large soda at Hardee’s is way more soda than any person has a right to drink
…..sitting out on the porch, in weather that was at least ten degrees cooler than Atlanta, is delightful.
….Ronde can climb trees
……my mom used to win roller-skating competitions and win a giant Hershey’s bar for her efforts
….if you let the boys cook, they will come up with something delicious, thus meaning that they should always cook while the ladies sip drinks on the proch
…3 adults can easily polish off 3 bottles of wine.
Saturday: A day to celebrate America by eating and watching things.
I learned that….
…..Tecate is more delicious than I remembered. Thanks for the tip, Jenny Lewis.
…..pierogies with spicy seasoning cooked on the grill are delicious
….how to make ribs from my brother’s father-in-law. Sorta.
…the renovated movie theater on Hendersonville road is awesome, because it has all these big comfy couches and footrests.
…The Hangover is an immensely funny movie
…..when you hear a rustling in trees near the house, it’s best to assume that it’s a bear.
…fireworks that emit a loud boom without also emitting any beautiful sparkles are awful fireworks and should not even be sold.
…..there was much I did not know about our nation’s first sixteen presidents, thanks to the History Channel’s marathon of “The Presidents.”
….the History Channel thinks that Jimmy Carter succeeded Abraham Lincoln in the presidency, if the way they ordered the episodes of “The Presidents” is any indication.
….I get too tired to stay up til 4 a.m. to watch the entirety of any television marathon, even if it is about the presidents.
Sunday: I ate some things, read some stuff, and drove back to Atlanta.
I learned that….
…..my mom can make a mean breakfast sandwich
….the show “Rome Reports” is a must if you like popes, and if you get that channel about Catholics, which my parents do.
….reading “Infinite Jest” while your parents watch the Wimbledon finals is kind of weird.
…ribs are delicious
…..it’s best to shower after you eat ribs
….though you may be expecting heavy traffic on the last day of a holiday weekend, it won’t come in the spots that you expect.
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Monday, July 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
$3.25 worth of awesomeness
Tonight I went to a nearby Goodwill because I heard through the grapevine that this particular store location was a good place to pick up quality used books. Well, I only ended up buying one book, but it was a doozy:
It is a book called Molly!!!!!! And here is something freaky: it came out the year I was born. I love the cover of this book more than words can say. I think I am going to keep it on my dresser so that I can style my hair that way.
Now, I admit that I probably would have bought this book for its cover alone, but listen to the intriguing text found on the book jacket:
“Molly” is storytelling at its dramatic best – the fast-paced, engrossing tale of a feisty young Irish girl whose spirit triumphs over poverty and personal tragedy.
Fleeing her fanatical republican family, Molly O’Dowd arrives nearly penniless in London at the end of the nineteenth century. With the aid of a social worker, she escapes the world of East End gambling houses and brothels and invests what little money she has in a typing course – an investment that will lead to the founding of her own employment agency and her establishment as a woman of power and means.
Along the way Molly wins – and then loses in the Boer War – her first love, makes a marriage of convenience, is widowed, and marries again. But her energy and determination never flag, and finally she meets the man who will be her match in business and in love.
From the rough-and-tumble world of the London docks to the luxurious hotels and restaurants of the fashionable West End, “Molly” captures the temper of the times – the unrest of the laboring classes, the courage of the suffragette movement, the ravages of the First World War. And through it all moves one of the most appealing and fully realized heroines in years: the indomitable Molly O’Dowd.
Can you believe that? And that’s just the book jacket!! Who knows how much more plot acclaimed author Teresa Crane stuck into this book?!?! It sounds like that Molly really gets around. Even if I never read this book, the book cover and jacket description make it well worth the $1.25 I spent on it.
Then, even though it seemed like my night couldn’t get any better, I wandered into the dollar store that was next door to the Goodwill. And there, I found some outfits for my bears Barnabas and Chester. For just $2, I was able to outfit an ENTIRE BEAR ARMY. Dressed like this, these bears will CONQUER THE WORLD.
Now, I do think that the material of Barnabas’s outfit is the same kind of material used for those kids’ pajamas that would spontaneously combust. So he might have to sleep out on the couch when he’s wearing his army outfit. But the real find, I think, is Chester’s outfit. While Barnabas is sort of a standard size bear as far as clothing goes, Chester is not. So far he only has an Appalachian State t-shirt to wear. He is petite, yet he has big hips. I’m not exactly sure what other stuffed animals or dolls this army outfit could fit, so I guess the only way to describe it is Chester–size. Though, since the outfit doesn’t have any Velcro, I’m not sure it will ever come off. So Chester Bear, you are in the army for life.
This is Chester trying to comfort fictional Molly, after he heard about her tragic loss in the Boer War:
And that is how you entertain yourself for hours with only $3.25. Plus tax.
It is a book called Molly!!!!!! And here is something freaky: it came out the year I was born. I love the cover of this book more than words can say. I think I am going to keep it on my dresser so that I can style my hair that way.
Now, I admit that I probably would have bought this book for its cover alone, but listen to the intriguing text found on the book jacket:
“Molly” is storytelling at its dramatic best – the fast-paced, engrossing tale of a feisty young Irish girl whose spirit triumphs over poverty and personal tragedy.
Fleeing her fanatical republican family, Molly O’Dowd arrives nearly penniless in London at the end of the nineteenth century. With the aid of a social worker, she escapes the world of East End gambling houses and brothels and invests what little money she has in a typing course – an investment that will lead to the founding of her own employment agency and her establishment as a woman of power and means.
Along the way Molly wins – and then loses in the Boer War – her first love, makes a marriage of convenience, is widowed, and marries again. But her energy and determination never flag, and finally she meets the man who will be her match in business and in love.
From the rough-and-tumble world of the London docks to the luxurious hotels and restaurants of the fashionable West End, “Molly” captures the temper of the times – the unrest of the laboring classes, the courage of the suffragette movement, the ravages of the First World War. And through it all moves one of the most appealing and fully realized heroines in years: the indomitable Molly O’Dowd.
Can you believe that? And that’s just the book jacket!! Who knows how much more plot acclaimed author Teresa Crane stuck into this book?!?! It sounds like that Molly really gets around. Even if I never read this book, the book cover and jacket description make it well worth the $1.25 I spent on it.
Then, even though it seemed like my night couldn’t get any better, I wandered into the dollar store that was next door to the Goodwill. And there, I found some outfits for my bears Barnabas and Chester. For just $2, I was able to outfit an ENTIRE BEAR ARMY. Dressed like this, these bears will CONQUER THE WORLD.
Now, I do think that the material of Barnabas’s outfit is the same kind of material used for those kids’ pajamas that would spontaneously combust. So he might have to sleep out on the couch when he’s wearing his army outfit. But the real find, I think, is Chester’s outfit. While Barnabas is sort of a standard size bear as far as clothing goes, Chester is not. So far he only has an Appalachian State t-shirt to wear. He is petite, yet he has big hips. I’m not exactly sure what other stuffed animals or dolls this army outfit could fit, so I guess the only way to describe it is Chester–size. Though, since the outfit doesn’t have any Velcro, I’m not sure it will ever come off. So Chester Bear, you are in the army for life.
This is Chester trying to comfort fictional Molly, after he heard about her tragic loss in the Boer War:
And that is how you entertain yourself for hours with only $3.25. Plus tax.Thursday, May 28, 2009
It turns out I might be trendy!
A few weeks ago, I was reading a local weekly paper because they had the results of the Reader's Choice Awards, and I just love awards of all types. But these awards were particularly handy since they were about Atlanta, and I figured I might pick up some ideas about neat new places to eat and consume beverages. I was kinda flipping through the non-eating and drinking awards when my eye caught something on the fashion page. And let me tell you, that never happens. I am not terribly fashionable. But there, right beside Andre 3000 (Best Dressed Local Celeb) was the Best Atlanta Fashion Trend, and a picture of a shoe that I had tried on very recently. I gasped, audibly. Was it possible I was fashionable?
The page in question:
I talked to one fashionable person who said that the shoes that I am wearing are definitely not gladiator sandals, and I'm not going to argue with that. Still, they look like the shoes in the paper, and they contain all the same elements, by which I mean there's a zipper, a high heel and lots of straps involved. Also, it looks like strippers could wear both pairs.
Plus, you have to admit, the paper was right. These shoes truly go with any outfit:
The page in question:
A close-up of the evidence: 
Basically, this little blurb was saying that shoes called gladiator sandals are the most awesome trend to hit my fair city in the last 12 months, right ahead of something called "statement necklaces." Apparently these shoes go well with everything from summer maxi dresses to jeans to rompers.
This blew my mind because I had tried on shoes like the ones in the photograph not one week before! But I didn't try them on because I knew they were stylish. I tried them on because I thought they looked like the most ridiculous shoes I'd ever seen in my life. No offense if you wear these shoes in your daily life, but they looked so foreign to the kinds of shoes that are in my daily life (mainly flip-flops and sneakers) that I had to have a picture.
These are my feet in the Best Atlanta Fashion Trend:
I talked to one fashionable person who said that the shoes that I am wearing are definitely not gladiator sandals, and I'm not going to argue with that. Still, they look like the shoes in the paper, and they contain all the same elements, by which I mean there's a zipper, a high heel and lots of straps involved. Also, it looks like strippers could wear both pairs.
Plus, you have to admit, the paper was right. These shoes truly go with any outfit:
Saturday, December 20, 2008
smoothie like butter
To my horror, I realized I had to venture to the mall to get one last present on the weekend before Christmas. And it couldn't just be any old ghetto, uncrowded mall, it had to be Lenox, the mall of the Great Food Court Project, but also a very popular mall guaranteed to be absolutely packed. It's the kind of mall with high-end stores that makes you look around and go, "Recession? What recession?" There were LINES to get on the escalator. I broke a sweat. To get to just one store and back out took me an hour.
Anyways. To reward myself for my effort I decided to get a sweet treat from the food court as part of the Great Food Court Project. Because the line at Haagen Dazs was kinda long I headed over to Freshens Smoothies and Yogurt. This is a place that used to be in the food court at Emory, and I have long admired this chain for their ability to turn their windowed countertop into a fruit display. They make fruit look so good, even when encased in glass.
But ordering a smoothie has gotten a lot more complicated since my college days. There were a few basic categories: fat-free smoothies, non-dairy smoothies, low-cal smoothies and tropical oasis smoothies. So you had to figure out which category you wanted, and then hope that there was a fruit combination within that group that you liked. Then, you had to decide if you want a BOOST. I don't know who thought of BOOSTs first, if it was Jamba Juice or Freshens or some other smoothie place, but I'd be interested in some sort of scientific study of their alleged benefits. Whenever I get a free boost, I get the one that's geared toward women, but then I walk around feeling nervous that I might spontaneously become pregnant.
In addition to smoothies, every single other beverage you could think of is available now, including sodas, vitamin water, icees and juice, in case you want the taste of fruit but not a smoothie I guess. Also, there was something called Thrive frozen yogurt, which made promises to improve my immune system, though the menu board was suspiciously mum on how that would be accomplished. You can also get milkshakes with this magical miracle cure yogurt. There are also soft serve candy blasts, which is basically a Blizzard if you speak Dairy Queen.
I settled on a frozen coffee drink. How much was sugar, and how much was coffee? It's impossible to say. But it was delicious.
The food court was crowded for 3 pm, with many people enjoying some sort of meal that was either a late lunch or an early dinner. In fact, while I was taking my Freshens notes, several people were sorta standing around my table, ready to pounce if I left or perhaps even to guilt me into leaving, as if by merely enjoying a beverage I didn't deserve an entire table. I gave them the stink eye, which I hope sent the message that I was in the midst of an important anthropological and sociological study of food courts, but who knows if they understood. Tensions were running high. So after I finished taking notes, I got the hell out of there.
As I sat in my car for what seemed like an eternity, just trying to get out of the parking garage, I noticed that my Freshens cup promised that the drink inside would nourish, invigorate, energize, refresh and provide me with fuel for my body and mind. A tall order, and perhaps on some days such a promise could have been kept. But even a vat full of Freshens wouldn't have prepared me for the hell that is a mall parking lot at the holidays.
Anyways. To reward myself for my effort I decided to get a sweet treat from the food court as part of the Great Food Court Project. Because the line at Haagen Dazs was kinda long I headed over to Freshens Smoothies and Yogurt. This is a place that used to be in the food court at Emory, and I have long admired this chain for their ability to turn their windowed countertop into a fruit display. They make fruit look so good, even when encased in glass.
But ordering a smoothie has gotten a lot more complicated since my college days. There were a few basic categories: fat-free smoothies, non-dairy smoothies, low-cal smoothies and tropical oasis smoothies. So you had to figure out which category you wanted, and then hope that there was a fruit combination within that group that you liked. Then, you had to decide if you want a BOOST. I don't know who thought of BOOSTs first, if it was Jamba Juice or Freshens or some other smoothie place, but I'd be interested in some sort of scientific study of their alleged benefits. Whenever I get a free boost, I get the one that's geared toward women, but then I walk around feeling nervous that I might spontaneously become pregnant.
In addition to smoothies, every single other beverage you could think of is available now, including sodas, vitamin water, icees and juice, in case you want the taste of fruit but not a smoothie I guess. Also, there was something called Thrive frozen yogurt, which made promises to improve my immune system, though the menu board was suspiciously mum on how that would be accomplished. You can also get milkshakes with this magical miracle cure yogurt. There are also soft serve candy blasts, which is basically a Blizzard if you speak Dairy Queen.
I settled on a frozen coffee drink. How much was sugar, and how much was coffee? It's impossible to say. But it was delicious.
The food court was crowded for 3 pm, with many people enjoying some sort of meal that was either a late lunch or an early dinner. In fact, while I was taking my Freshens notes, several people were sorta standing around my table, ready to pounce if I left or perhaps even to guilt me into leaving, as if by merely enjoying a beverage I didn't deserve an entire table. I gave them the stink eye, which I hope sent the message that I was in the midst of an important anthropological and sociological study of food courts, but who knows if they understood. Tensions were running high. So after I finished taking notes, I got the hell out of there.
As I sat in my car for what seemed like an eternity, just trying to get out of the parking garage, I noticed that my Freshens cup promised that the drink inside would nourish, invigorate, energize, refresh and provide me with fuel for my body and mind. A tall order, and perhaps on some days such a promise could have been kept. But even a vat full of Freshens wouldn't have prepared me for the hell that is a mall parking lot at the holidays.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Christmas fun in the sun
I have written about my love for inflatables before. If you ever want to see me transfixed by something kinda ridiculous, take me to a place where they got inflatable things. I will look at those things forever and ever. I don't know how you can not be jolly if you are looking at an inflatable. The scenes they depict are so joyous and whimsical, and the characters in the scenes are so precious and adorable. Oh man, inflatables are the bright spot in any Christmas shopping extravaganza. Sadly, I don't see as many lawns as I would like sporting inflatables, and my apartment complex has decided to go with "wreaths" as their decorating motif this year. By which I mean they put wreaths on the awning around the main office. But imagine how happy you'd be if you turned into your apartment complex and saw an Inflatable Santa in a sleigh? You'd be so freaking happy to get home!
Anyways, the best place to see the largest assortment of inflatables come Christmas time is a store called Garden Ridge, which is a home decoration mecca that has very few locations. It's truly a gift to have one nearby. Garden Ridge starts putting out their Christmas items around, oh, August. It's the kind of store that devotes about one-quarter of their retail space to seasonal items. They still haven't gotten rid of all their fake pumpkins.
I headed up to Garden Ridge this past weekend to do a little Christmas shopping. Because of the proximity to Christmas, all the decorations were massively on sale, and since all the stuff has been out for months now, it's all a bit picked over and sad looking. If you want to feel like Christmas is truly over before it's even begun, head to a Garden Ridge about now. What used to be like six aisles of crazy hilarious holiday inflatables is down to just one lousy aisle. There was a Winnie the Pooh Christmas inflatable, a Simpsons Christmas inflatable, and the following inflatable, which is today's Picture of the Day:
Anyways, the best place to see the largest assortment of inflatables come Christmas time is a store called Garden Ridge, which is a home decoration mecca that has very few locations. It's truly a gift to have one nearby. Garden Ridge starts putting out their Christmas items around, oh, August. It's the kind of store that devotes about one-quarter of their retail space to seasonal items. They still haven't gotten rid of all their fake pumpkins.
I headed up to Garden Ridge this past weekend to do a little Christmas shopping. Because of the proximity to Christmas, all the decorations were massively on sale, and since all the stuff has been out for months now, it's all a bit picked over and sad looking. If you want to feel like Christmas is truly over before it's even begun, head to a Garden Ridge about now. What used to be like six aisles of crazy hilarious holiday inflatables is down to just one lousy aisle. There was a Winnie the Pooh Christmas inflatable, a Simpsons Christmas inflatable, and the following inflatable, which is today's Picture of the Day:
I guess I can see why no one would want it. It is a bit confusing that the snowman can survive in a tropical climate. And Atlanta is fairly warm in the winter so it's not like you need something to remind you of a temperate climate. And people tend to think Christmas tree more than palm tree this time of year. But still…it's so adorable! Why haven't shoppers lined up en masse to take this delightful and affordably priced item home? If I had room for that inflatable, I would get it and name the snowman Winky and the penguin Martin.
Monday, November 3, 2008
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming
Well, it took me two weeks, but I finished my cousin-related blogs. But life didn't stop while I wrote those! So here are the top 7 things that happened in the last two weeks that deserve a blog mention. Normally I might put them all in separate posts but based on how long these last blogs took me it might be a week-and-a-half before I finished. And who knows what will happen in that time?!?
1. I learned that the brush that is behind my sink is used for cleaning dishes! Previously I thought the device was just a sort of decorative accessory, much like my canister of spatulas and the like. But I learned that some people actually use it to do things when my parents came to visit me. We went to the UVA vs. Georgia Tech football game. Luckily UVA won or it would have been sad.
2. I also learned about centerpieces and candles when my parents came to visit. On my kitchen table I have these flower candlesticks, and on my kitchen counter I have these brightly colored candles. But my mom says I have to put all those things away because they are too spring- and summer-like. Now I have to have an autumnal centerpiece and autumnal candles. My autumnal centerpiece has gourds! After autumn is over, I have to put up a Christmas centerpiece and Christmas candles. Then I think I have to put up a Martin Luther King Jr. centerpiece. Keeping track of centerpieces is really hard but luckily I have my mom nearby to help!
3. I learned that a certain mall in the Atlanta area that shall remain nameless is going to have a service where pictures can be taken with Santa. But not for children. FOR PETS. If you need a picture of your pet taken with Santa, then let me know and I can hook you up. But you have to understand that something like this is the kind of thing that makes me hate people with pets and I will judge you. Though I am pondering taking my fish Alvin in for a picture in the hopes that the mall might see how ridiculous their idea is.
4. I learned that Samantha Parkington will be retired as an American Girl doll. This particularly stings as Samantha was the American Girl doll I had when I was little. Why oh why is someone crapping on my childhood? How will the girls of tomorrow ever thrive without this sweet orphan living with her relatives in 1904? Who teaches poor girls that live next door how to read? Why should they be deprived of buying the absolutely adorable school dress that I wish to God I could have worn to school? Or deprived of reenacting what happened when Uncle Gard brought Cornelia home for the holidays? How will they ever learn what a petit four is?
5. Someone is trying to communicate with me via Amazon emails. While I try not to talk about work on my blog, I will tell you that I've had a few unhappy days lately. And on one of the days that was most frustrating, I get an email from Amazon.com with the suggestion that I might enjoy Herman Melville's "Bartleby the Scrivener." This is the classic tale of a man that just starts saying that he prefers not to do work that's assigned to him. Is this some message from God about what I am supposed to do?!?!
6. A sad lesson was learned: video games trump literature. Here's what happened. For the Halloween office party I dressed up as the Ghost of John Steinbeck, using a white sheet and my John Steinbeck shirt. I carried around some grapes and threw them at people. But despite only four people entering the costume contest, I did not win. I lost to a girl who dressed up as Mario. Of Mario and Luigi fame. So don't bother reading, kids. You will not win office costume contests that way. Just play video games.
7. Finally, last Monday I was stopped at a red light and saw two guys having a fight. IT WAS SO EXCITING! I think it would be awesome if the City of Atlanta could install unhappy people at every long light because then we would have some entertainment while we waited and maybe people would not run red lights and cause accidents. The particular fight I witnessed involved two males fighting. Apparently they have had a turbulent past because one of them had a restraining order on the other. But the very guy who took out the restraining order was trying to see the other one. And the other one was not happy, because he could have gone to jail if they were seen. So he kept saying, "If you really love me, just leave. If you really love me, just walk away. Because if you don't walk away, I'll go to jail. Please, please leave if you love me." Did the other guy leave? I DON'T KNOW! The light turned green and I had to go! Never have I been so sad about a green light!
1. I learned that the brush that is behind my sink is used for cleaning dishes! Previously I thought the device was just a sort of decorative accessory, much like my canister of spatulas and the like. But I learned that some people actually use it to do things when my parents came to visit me. We went to the UVA vs. Georgia Tech football game. Luckily UVA won or it would have been sad.
2. I also learned about centerpieces and candles when my parents came to visit. On my kitchen table I have these flower candlesticks, and on my kitchen counter I have these brightly colored candles. But my mom says I have to put all those things away because they are too spring- and summer-like. Now I have to have an autumnal centerpiece and autumnal candles. My autumnal centerpiece has gourds! After autumn is over, I have to put up a Christmas centerpiece and Christmas candles. Then I think I have to put up a Martin Luther King Jr. centerpiece. Keeping track of centerpieces is really hard but luckily I have my mom nearby to help!
3. I learned that a certain mall in the Atlanta area that shall remain nameless is going to have a service where pictures can be taken with Santa. But not for children. FOR PETS. If you need a picture of your pet taken with Santa, then let me know and I can hook you up. But you have to understand that something like this is the kind of thing that makes me hate people with pets and I will judge you. Though I am pondering taking my fish Alvin in for a picture in the hopes that the mall might see how ridiculous their idea is.
4. I learned that Samantha Parkington will be retired as an American Girl doll. This particularly stings as Samantha was the American Girl doll I had when I was little. Why oh why is someone crapping on my childhood? How will the girls of tomorrow ever thrive without this sweet orphan living with her relatives in 1904? Who teaches poor girls that live next door how to read? Why should they be deprived of buying the absolutely adorable school dress that I wish to God I could have worn to school? Or deprived of reenacting what happened when Uncle Gard brought Cornelia home for the holidays? How will they ever learn what a petit four is?
5. Someone is trying to communicate with me via Amazon emails. While I try not to talk about work on my blog, I will tell you that I've had a few unhappy days lately. And on one of the days that was most frustrating, I get an email from Amazon.com with the suggestion that I might enjoy Herman Melville's "Bartleby the Scrivener." This is the classic tale of a man that just starts saying that he prefers not to do work that's assigned to him. Is this some message from God about what I am supposed to do?!?!
6. A sad lesson was learned: video games trump literature. Here's what happened. For the Halloween office party I dressed up as the Ghost of John Steinbeck, using a white sheet and my John Steinbeck shirt. I carried around some grapes and threw them at people. But despite only four people entering the costume contest, I did not win. I lost to a girl who dressed up as Mario. Of Mario and Luigi fame. So don't bother reading, kids. You will not win office costume contests that way. Just play video games.
7. Finally, last Monday I was stopped at a red light and saw two guys having a fight. IT WAS SO EXCITING! I think it would be awesome if the City of Atlanta could install unhappy people at every long light because then we would have some entertainment while we waited and maybe people would not run red lights and cause accidents. The particular fight I witnessed involved two males fighting. Apparently they have had a turbulent past because one of them had a restraining order on the other. But the very guy who took out the restraining order was trying to see the other one. And the other one was not happy, because he could have gone to jail if they were seen. So he kept saying, "If you really love me, just leave. If you really love me, just walk away. Because if you don't walk away, I'll go to jail. Please, please leave if you love me." Did the other guy leave? I DON'T KNOW! The light turned green and I had to go! Never have I been so sad about a green light!
Monday, July 7, 2008
what a country
Well, I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July holiday weekend. I spent my long weekend in North Carolina eating meat. It’s all I ate. Here is a list of the meat products I consumed: hot dogs, cold cuts (turkey and roast beef), a turkey burger, a Boston butt that the men of my family smoked out in the smoker, and a delicious chicken that had a beer can stuck up its butt by my brother. It’s called a beer can chicken and it looks creepy! Then I ate more cold cuts. Also, I watched some minor league baseball and saw some fireworks.
But one of the true highlights of my weekend was seeing the item I am about to describe to you. It’s a ceramic cookie jar, in the shape of Noah’s ark. Then, to confirm that it’s Noah’s ark, there are all sorts of animals hanging out two-by-two. Some of them are up on the top deck, and some are leaning out the windows. But if you look closer at the windows, you see that all the windowsills are decked out for Christmas with wreaths. And right in the center of all those animals…it’s not Noah, but SANTA.
It’s a Noah’s ark cookie jar that removes Noah and substitutes Santa Claus.
I just can’t stop thinking about this cookie jar. Who do you think the target audience is? It has to be someone who is religious enough to want a cookie jar modeled on a Bible story, but someone who’s not so religious that they’d be offended that one of the major biblical heroes is replaced by a symbol of the commercialization of the holiday marking Christ’s birth. Do these people exist? Am I one of them? After all, if that cookie jar hadn’t been $20, but more like $5, I probably would have bought it. But I would have bought it cause it was tacky and it would have been a goofy thing to show off. I wouldn’t have bought it for cookie storage purposes.
People who read this, I need your help. Stop everyone you see over the next few days and ask them if they would buy a Noah’s ark cookie jar but with Santa instead of Noah. I need to know if there’s a market for this item.
I took some pictures but I’m not sure they fully capture the gloriousness of this item:
But one of the true highlights of my weekend was seeing the item I am about to describe to you. It’s a ceramic cookie jar, in the shape of Noah’s ark. Then, to confirm that it’s Noah’s ark, there are all sorts of animals hanging out two-by-two. Some of them are up on the top deck, and some are leaning out the windows. But if you look closer at the windows, you see that all the windowsills are decked out for Christmas with wreaths. And right in the center of all those animals…it’s not Noah, but SANTA.
It’s a Noah’s ark cookie jar that removes Noah and substitutes Santa Claus.
I just can’t stop thinking about this cookie jar. Who do you think the target audience is? It has to be someone who is religious enough to want a cookie jar modeled on a Bible story, but someone who’s not so religious that they’d be offended that one of the major biblical heroes is replaced by a symbol of the commercialization of the holiday marking Christ’s birth. Do these people exist? Am I one of them? After all, if that cookie jar hadn’t been $20, but more like $5, I probably would have bought it. But I would have bought it cause it was tacky and it would have been a goofy thing to show off. I wouldn’t have bought it for cookie storage purposes.
People who read this, I need your help. Stop everyone you see over the next few days and ask them if they would buy a Noah’s ark cookie jar but with Santa instead of Noah. I need to know if there’s a market for this item.
I took some pictures but I’m not sure they fully capture the gloriousness of this item:
Sunday, April 13, 2008
a dollar for your thoughts
Well, it is nearly impossible for me to pass by a dollar store without going in. I usually find something I want or need (wanting or needing it is usually measured against the fact that the item is only a dollar). Plus, have you ever looked closely at things in a dollar store? They are HILARIOUS.
So today I went to the dollar store, and made a list of the funny things I saw. Maybe it will become a recurring segment as I work my way through the dollar stores of the southeast. I only had 15 minutes before the dollar store closed, so maybe these items aren’t the epitome of hilarity. But these are the kinds of things I love about dollar stores.
--Noah’s Ark figurine toys. These looked kind of rubbery, and they were appropriate for kids 3 and up, I think. You got like 7 things in the package so that you could relive the story of Noah whenever you wanted. Of course you got Noah and Mrs. Noah. Then you got one pig. One pig! Noah gets credit for saving all the animals and all that the package deigned to include was one pig! So what else was in the package you ask? Bananas, bread, a bag of flour, carrots and/or corn (the items differed from every package). I mean, I know they had food on the ship, but good luck reenacting that whole two-by-two animal thing. Based on this play set, you would think that Noah was running a little grocery store or something.
--Potting soil. Nothing funny about that right? But consider that it was located on the shelf under the FAKE FLOWERS. Ponder that for awhile!
--Gummy candy. It didn’t look like gummy candy at first. It was in that old-timey looking popcorn container, like if you got popcorn at the circus. The gummy candy was shaped like popcorn, and the flavors inside the box were strawberry, watermelon, apple and…POPCORN. I guess this is designed to appeal to those people who eat gummy candy and think, hey I really wish I was eating popcorn. Or vice versa.
--Smiley face erasers. These came in a little baggie, I think you got 25 for a dollar. But none of them had smiley faces. They had straight lines for mouths. Maybe it was a statement on how no one smiles anymore.
--“Magic Beast Grow.” Okay, this one didn’t end up as funny as I first thought it was, when I read it as “Magic Breast Grow.” It was a circus animal that’s like an inch big, and then you put it in water and it grows 400%!! Then I found one that would grow 600%!!! I almost got one, but I just don’t have room in the apartment for something that could grow to 600% of its original size. I don’t care if it’s only one inch to start with.
--Speaking of things I almost bought, there’s this guy named Chef Mario, and he has a line of gag food items. It’s called Scretchghetti and Critters, and Chef Mario has cooked up a ton of critters for our prank playing enjoyment. You can get spaghetti topped with rats, earthworms and bugs that I could not even identify!
--A jumbo chalk compass. So anal-retentive kids can draw perfect circles when they’re outside playing.
Well, that’s all I had time to find. I ended up buying a pack of plastic forks to take to the office so I don’t have to wash real forks (I’m real lazy now). Guess how many came in the package? 51! Why do you think it was such a weirdly odd number? I don’t have any suggestions.
So today I went to the dollar store, and made a list of the funny things I saw. Maybe it will become a recurring segment as I work my way through the dollar stores of the southeast. I only had 15 minutes before the dollar store closed, so maybe these items aren’t the epitome of hilarity. But these are the kinds of things I love about dollar stores.
--Noah’s Ark figurine toys. These looked kind of rubbery, and they were appropriate for kids 3 and up, I think. You got like 7 things in the package so that you could relive the story of Noah whenever you wanted. Of course you got Noah and Mrs. Noah. Then you got one pig. One pig! Noah gets credit for saving all the animals and all that the package deigned to include was one pig! So what else was in the package you ask? Bananas, bread, a bag of flour, carrots and/or corn (the items differed from every package). I mean, I know they had food on the ship, but good luck reenacting that whole two-by-two animal thing. Based on this play set, you would think that Noah was running a little grocery store or something.
--Potting soil. Nothing funny about that right? But consider that it was located on the shelf under the FAKE FLOWERS. Ponder that for awhile!
--Gummy candy. It didn’t look like gummy candy at first. It was in that old-timey looking popcorn container, like if you got popcorn at the circus. The gummy candy was shaped like popcorn, and the flavors inside the box were strawberry, watermelon, apple and…POPCORN. I guess this is designed to appeal to those people who eat gummy candy and think, hey I really wish I was eating popcorn. Or vice versa.
--Smiley face erasers. These came in a little baggie, I think you got 25 for a dollar. But none of them had smiley faces. They had straight lines for mouths. Maybe it was a statement on how no one smiles anymore.
--“Magic Beast Grow.” Okay, this one didn’t end up as funny as I first thought it was, when I read it as “Magic Breast Grow.” It was a circus animal that’s like an inch big, and then you put it in water and it grows 400%!! Then I found one that would grow 600%!!! I almost got one, but I just don’t have room in the apartment for something that could grow to 600% of its original size. I don’t care if it’s only one inch to start with.
--Speaking of things I almost bought, there’s this guy named Chef Mario, and he has a line of gag food items. It’s called Scretchghetti and Critters, and Chef Mario has cooked up a ton of critters for our prank playing enjoyment. You can get spaghetti topped with rats, earthworms and bugs that I could not even identify!
--A jumbo chalk compass. So anal-retentive kids can draw perfect circles when they’re outside playing.
Well, that’s all I had time to find. I ended up buying a pack of plastic forks to take to the office so I don’t have to wash real forks (I’m real lazy now). Guess how many came in the package? 51! Why do you think it was such a weirdly odd number? I don’t have any suggestions.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
you say it's your birthday?
Dear Readers,
I have an extremely sad announcement to make. I can no longer continue writing this blog. It takes up too much time, time I would rather devote to pursuing my country music career. So there will be no more wiggling it, just a little bit.
April Fools!
A day late!
Man, don’t you think that could have been really something? If I’d drawn it out more and gotten the entry up on the right day? I think that would have been fun. But I was too lazy.
In addition to general laziness yesterday, I was also busy celebrating my birthday, which as some readers may know, falls upon April Fool’s Day. It was a nice, low-key day, which is the way I wanted it, but unfortunately, this birthday will be forever remembered as the birthday where my Comcast service went out as soon as I sat down to watch some birthday television and read some birthday emails. So while I heard from friends and relations far and wide, the person I might have spent the most time speaking with was a Comcast representative. While Comcast was extremely sympathetic that I couldn’t watch the birthday editions of my favorite shows, they were not so sympathetic that they would fix my service immediately. It won’t be fixed, in fact, til Saturday.
Well, since I have this extra time on my hands, I thought I’d look back at some of my memorable birthdays:
April 1, 1982: I am born. To be fair, this is not a “memorable” birthday because I don’t “remember” it. But I have heard the legends of how I made it into the world. I was about a week late. When my mom went into labor in the wee hours of the morning, my dad didn’t take her at first because he thought it was an April Fool’s joke. But that might have been exaggerated because recently Mom said that she wasn’t quite sure that she was in labor. They started out for the hospital anyways, and were about halfway there when Dad realized he forgot to turn off the alarm clock that would be going off in a few hours, and that would freak out the cats, so they turned around to go home and turn off the alarm clock. That’s right, the mental health of their cats was a more important than the birth of their first child. But anyways, by the time they were headed back to the hospital, Mom was sure that this was actually labor and I emerged at 10:40 a.m. When the doctor announced it was a girl, my parents thought it was an April Fool’s joke because previous doctors had predicted that I would be a boy based on the strength of my heartbeat. I am such a trickster!
April 1, 1987: I turn five. I remember this birthday primarily because it was captured on home video. This video does not present the most flattering version of me…I got a vinyl record and jumped all around screeching and it was not attractive. It was a Randy Travis record, for anyone interested, and my first concert, Randy Travis at the Asheville Civic Center, was also a present that year as I recall. On this tape, I tend to get mad and yell at my brothers a lot, George because he kept trying to open my presents and William because he took his first steps and upstaged me on my birthday. What starts as a video of little Molly opening her presents turns into a video of baby William trying to walk. And I don’t know if our relationship has ever overcome this jealousy.
April 1, year uncertain: I’m not sure exactly whether I was turning 12 or 13 but sometime in middle school I had a birthday where I got like six CDs as presents and then went bowling with my friends. I remember that as an extremely pleasant birthday.
April 1, 1998: Sweet 16. The year that everyone in my group of friends turned 16, I remember we did a lot of scavenger hunts, because we could all drive and go around and look for things. So I remember I had a pretty cool scavenger hunt that turned mildly embarrassing when I couldn’t pump gas. The guy had to show me how. If only I’d paid more attention at the 10 previous scavenger hunt birthday parties I went to that year!
April 1, 2000: Despite being only a high school senior, I turned 18 at Emory because I was down there for scholarship interview weekend. Being interviewed on my birthday was a bit stressful, and since this was before cell phones, I called my parents on a pay phone, primarily because that was the day when all other colleges were supposed to let you know if you’d been accepted or not. But there had been a snowstorm in eastern North Carolina and so a lot of my decisions weren’t there yet. It was very frustrating to have only a brief pay phone call home and to get such crappy news. But that night the other people there interviewing took me out and got me a balloon, and I remember looking around and thinking that these people were very nice and that I could definitely see myself at school there.
April 1, 2001: Flash forward a year, when I was there. I had the most miserable birthday ever because I was extremely sick and trying to write a huge paper that was due the next day that was some ungodly percentage of my grade. All my friends in my freshman dorm came in and sang happy birthday but I was so sick and tired that I just burst into tears. A real low-point birthday.
April 1, 2003: But I would say that my highest-point birthday was turning 21 in Rome. I went to the Coliseum with a friend that was visiting and that night went to dinner with a few friends at this restaurant that was on my street that we all loved. The waiter, who we’d become friends with over the course of the semester, gave me a bottle of wine and had the street musicians outside play happy birthday. Then we drank, but since we’d been abroad for a few months anyways, it was relaxed fun drinking, as opposed to the, I’m 21 now and can drink for the first time drinking. It was a great night.
April 1, 2005: This was my first birthday in Seattle. I had just ended an internship and was only working at Old Navy at this point. The night before, a few people from Old Navy went out, because it was my birthday and this other girl’s who worked there. I know that several respectable adults read this blog, and I hope they won’t mind when I report that I got so, so drunk that night. It was the kind of drunk that makes you swear you’ll never drink again. The kind of drunk where you wake up with 50-year-old men’s phone numbers in your pocket. The kind of drunk where you wake up with big bumps on your head and you remember that that’s from when your head hit the toilet the night before. Oh my.
The next day on this same year, the actual birthday, I woke up and took myself shopping. I only worked nights so I had some free time in the days. I went to the mall determined to buy something, but the only thing I could find that I really wanted was some underwear at Victoria’s Secret. Well, I get in line behind this VERY pregnant woman, and she and the salesgirl start talking about when she’s due, and they start talking about how HORRIBLE it would be if she gave birth on April First. So I finally had to pipe up and defend my birthday, and they both looked at me so sadly. Maybe because I was buying underwear on my birthday in a very hungover state. It’s hard to say.
On a side note, part of the reason I went to the mall is because I have this thing about food courts that you might have noticed in recent months. But that day is when I started to realize that West Coast food courts SUCKED.
Then (this was a pretty epic birthday) that night I went out for Mexican food with my friends Matthew, Nekesa and Katy. We went to a Seattle place called Tia Lou’s. When the waiters found out it was my birthday, they gave me this shot and then grabbed my head and shook it all around (let me tell you, I didn’t need that in the state I was in). Then, one of the waitstaff lifted up his apron and showed me this puppet penis. It was fake..he was wearing pants…but under the apron was a giant puppet penis. In talking to other people from Seattle, I hear this comes out a lot at bachelorette parties. But I got it for my birthday. Then Tia Lou’s went from being a respectable Mexican restaurant to a weird club with a high cover charge, so we watched that changeover for awhile before going back to google “puppet penis” and eat cake.
Well, I guess I’ll stop there. I certainly have other birthday memories, like the time I had a McDonald’s party and got to work the ice cream machine, the time I made my college roommate throw me a hot dog bowling party, the time my grandmother made me a ooey gooey chocolate cake, the time in which my boss made me a funfetti cake. And joining the ranks, the time in which my cable went out when all I wanted to do was watch television.
I have an extremely sad announcement to make. I can no longer continue writing this blog. It takes up too much time, time I would rather devote to pursuing my country music career. So there will be no more wiggling it, just a little bit.
April Fools!
A day late!
Man, don’t you think that could have been really something? If I’d drawn it out more and gotten the entry up on the right day? I think that would have been fun. But I was too lazy.
In addition to general laziness yesterday, I was also busy celebrating my birthday, which as some readers may know, falls upon April Fool’s Day. It was a nice, low-key day, which is the way I wanted it, but unfortunately, this birthday will be forever remembered as the birthday where my Comcast service went out as soon as I sat down to watch some birthday television and read some birthday emails. So while I heard from friends and relations far and wide, the person I might have spent the most time speaking with was a Comcast representative. While Comcast was extremely sympathetic that I couldn’t watch the birthday editions of my favorite shows, they were not so sympathetic that they would fix my service immediately. It won’t be fixed, in fact, til Saturday.
Well, since I have this extra time on my hands, I thought I’d look back at some of my memorable birthdays:
April 1, 1982: I am born. To be fair, this is not a “memorable” birthday because I don’t “remember” it. But I have heard the legends of how I made it into the world. I was about a week late. When my mom went into labor in the wee hours of the morning, my dad didn’t take her at first because he thought it was an April Fool’s joke. But that might have been exaggerated because recently Mom said that she wasn’t quite sure that she was in labor. They started out for the hospital anyways, and were about halfway there when Dad realized he forgot to turn off the alarm clock that would be going off in a few hours, and that would freak out the cats, so they turned around to go home and turn off the alarm clock. That’s right, the mental health of their cats was a more important than the birth of their first child. But anyways, by the time they were headed back to the hospital, Mom was sure that this was actually labor and I emerged at 10:40 a.m. When the doctor announced it was a girl, my parents thought it was an April Fool’s joke because previous doctors had predicted that I would be a boy based on the strength of my heartbeat. I am such a trickster!
April 1, 1987: I turn five. I remember this birthday primarily because it was captured on home video. This video does not present the most flattering version of me…I got a vinyl record and jumped all around screeching and it was not attractive. It was a Randy Travis record, for anyone interested, and my first concert, Randy Travis at the Asheville Civic Center, was also a present that year as I recall. On this tape, I tend to get mad and yell at my brothers a lot, George because he kept trying to open my presents and William because he took his first steps and upstaged me on my birthday. What starts as a video of little Molly opening her presents turns into a video of baby William trying to walk. And I don’t know if our relationship has ever overcome this jealousy.
April 1, year uncertain: I’m not sure exactly whether I was turning 12 or 13 but sometime in middle school I had a birthday where I got like six CDs as presents and then went bowling with my friends. I remember that as an extremely pleasant birthday.
April 1, 1998: Sweet 16. The year that everyone in my group of friends turned 16, I remember we did a lot of scavenger hunts, because we could all drive and go around and look for things. So I remember I had a pretty cool scavenger hunt that turned mildly embarrassing when I couldn’t pump gas. The guy had to show me how. If only I’d paid more attention at the 10 previous scavenger hunt birthday parties I went to that year!
April 1, 2000: Despite being only a high school senior, I turned 18 at Emory because I was down there for scholarship interview weekend. Being interviewed on my birthday was a bit stressful, and since this was before cell phones, I called my parents on a pay phone, primarily because that was the day when all other colleges were supposed to let you know if you’d been accepted or not. But there had been a snowstorm in eastern North Carolina and so a lot of my decisions weren’t there yet. It was very frustrating to have only a brief pay phone call home and to get such crappy news. But that night the other people there interviewing took me out and got me a balloon, and I remember looking around and thinking that these people were very nice and that I could definitely see myself at school there.
April 1, 2001: Flash forward a year, when I was there. I had the most miserable birthday ever because I was extremely sick and trying to write a huge paper that was due the next day that was some ungodly percentage of my grade. All my friends in my freshman dorm came in and sang happy birthday but I was so sick and tired that I just burst into tears. A real low-point birthday.
April 1, 2003: But I would say that my highest-point birthday was turning 21 in Rome. I went to the Coliseum with a friend that was visiting and that night went to dinner with a few friends at this restaurant that was on my street that we all loved. The waiter, who we’d become friends with over the course of the semester, gave me a bottle of wine and had the street musicians outside play happy birthday. Then we drank, but since we’d been abroad for a few months anyways, it was relaxed fun drinking, as opposed to the, I’m 21 now and can drink for the first time drinking. It was a great night.
April 1, 2005: This was my first birthday in Seattle. I had just ended an internship and was only working at Old Navy at this point. The night before, a few people from Old Navy went out, because it was my birthday and this other girl’s who worked there. I know that several respectable adults read this blog, and I hope they won’t mind when I report that I got so, so drunk that night. It was the kind of drunk that makes you swear you’ll never drink again. The kind of drunk where you wake up with 50-year-old men’s phone numbers in your pocket. The kind of drunk where you wake up with big bumps on your head and you remember that that’s from when your head hit the toilet the night before. Oh my.
The next day on this same year, the actual birthday, I woke up and took myself shopping. I only worked nights so I had some free time in the days. I went to the mall determined to buy something, but the only thing I could find that I really wanted was some underwear at Victoria’s Secret. Well, I get in line behind this VERY pregnant woman, and she and the salesgirl start talking about when she’s due, and they start talking about how HORRIBLE it would be if she gave birth on April First. So I finally had to pipe up and defend my birthday, and they both looked at me so sadly. Maybe because I was buying underwear on my birthday in a very hungover state. It’s hard to say.
On a side note, part of the reason I went to the mall is because I have this thing about food courts that you might have noticed in recent months. But that day is when I started to realize that West Coast food courts SUCKED.
Then (this was a pretty epic birthday) that night I went out for Mexican food with my friends Matthew, Nekesa and Katy. We went to a Seattle place called Tia Lou’s. When the waiters found out it was my birthday, they gave me this shot and then grabbed my head and shook it all around (let me tell you, I didn’t need that in the state I was in). Then, one of the waitstaff lifted up his apron and showed me this puppet penis. It was fake..he was wearing pants…but under the apron was a giant puppet penis. In talking to other people from Seattle, I hear this comes out a lot at bachelorette parties. But I got it for my birthday. Then Tia Lou’s went from being a respectable Mexican restaurant to a weird club with a high cover charge, so we watched that changeover for awhile before going back to google “puppet penis” and eat cake.
Well, I guess I’ll stop there. I certainly have other birthday memories, like the time I had a McDonald’s party and got to work the ice cream machine, the time I made my college roommate throw me a hot dog bowling party, the time my grandmother made me a ooey gooey chocolate cake, the time in which my boss made me a funfetti cake. And joining the ranks, the time in which my cable went out when all I wanted to do was watch television.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
fashion choices
Today I was at the mall, and I saw one woman talking to another in the little girls’ clothing. She held up a big puffy shiny gold jacket, with this gigantic furry collar. The woman said, “we’re trying to pick out something that will really make a statement at school.” Then she leaned in a little more to the other woman, and said, “she’s having trouble with some of the other girls.”
I really wanted to go over and tell the woman that a big puffy shiny gold jacket with a gigantic furry collar probably wouldn’t help her daughter solve any interpersonal problems at school, unless it was a problem over who had the biggest ugly jacket. But I didn’t. Cause maybe school is different these days, and I just don’t know.
I’d write more, but I’m approaching hour 5 of putting together my frickin’ tv stand, and I wouldn’t want to lose the momentum that I never had. Usually I’m really good at putting wooden furniture together, but this one needs some sort of structural engineer or something.
I really wanted to go over and tell the woman that a big puffy shiny gold jacket with a gigantic furry collar probably wouldn’t help her daughter solve any interpersonal problems at school, unless it was a problem over who had the biggest ugly jacket. But I didn’t. Cause maybe school is different these days, and I just don’t know.
I’d write more, but I’m approaching hour 5 of putting together my frickin’ tv stand, and I wouldn’t want to lose the momentum that I never had. Usually I’m really good at putting wooden furniture together, but this one needs some sort of structural engineer or something.
Friday, November 2, 2007
I'm a simple girl, with simple tastes
These are the kinds of things I would like to have in my front yard one day:
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4960770
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371167
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371168
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371163
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371164
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371170
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371172
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4960770
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371167
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371168
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371163
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371164
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371170
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6371172
Sunday, August 19, 2007
that new car smell
Well, today, I somehow bought a new car. I was not really expecting to buy today, but I had a salesman that I really liked, and I felt good about the deal. I felt a little bad that I didn't finish reading "Car Buying for Dummies" (see yesterday), but what's done is done.
It is a really pretty car, a Camry, and I am pretty convinced that it will get stolen or be affected by some sort of act of God tonight. It's pretty much too nice to ever drive. I have to pay for it forever. Other than that, I feel really great about it.
So, now, to say goodbye to my old car, which is sleeping tonight in its new home at the dealership, I present, A Requiem for the Old Avalon....
The Avalon and I came together in the summer before my senior year of college. I didn't want a new car, but unfortunately my younger brother crashed my old Camry while I was studying abroad. Everyone told me that he was lucky to be alive, but I was not happy about losing my old faithful car. Dad and I went down to South Carolina to car-shop (car shopping is about the only thing that South Carolina is good for). We found this Avalon, a '96 with incredibly low mileage, and I think I had a mini-nervous breakdown but decided to go for it. The car had just come on the lot the day before, so we were taking a risk, but Dad haggled to a price that was good (I remember being mortified).
Soon after buying the car, I discovered that it smoked every time I started it. Something with the valves, and people told me it would be too expensive to fix so I've been dealing with that for the last four years. Off the Avalon went to college (it still has the parking sticker from the Emory garage). I don't think anything too notable happened to it there.
When I went to Seattle, I went by myself, and my parents shipped the car out to me later. That was cheaper than driving it and paying for hotels and gas and the like. My old apartment had a garage and pretty soon after the car arrived, I hit the side of the garage and knocked the drivers side mirror off. I think that's where one of my first paychecks went.
In 2005, I went to Spokane, and on the way back, this giant rock hit my windshield and cracked it. What a fond way to remember that trip everytime I got in my car
Then I had the enormous ordeal of trying to register the car in Washington. I couldn't find all the forms I needed and I couldn't find any evidence that we'd paid any tax on the car and frankly I'm not quite sure that I swung that legally.
Sometime between November 2005 and the first few months of 2006, we had torrential rains and the car flooded. Maybe six inches of standing water in the trunk. It molded in the interior. The place that I took to get it fixed completely screwed me over and the car has never been the same, particularly in the arena of smell, ever since.
This year, the dealership told me they could fix that smoking-everytime-it-starts thing. Well, they couldn't. And it only took a few months and a lot of money to figure out they couldn't. And the "check engine" light has been on ever since.
I'm sure I'll think of more. What I'm trying to get across in my requiem is, good riddance, you stupid car. I am not going to miss you at all. Me and my new pretty pretty car are going to be so happy without you, provided it does not get stolen tonight.
It is a really pretty car, a Camry, and I am pretty convinced that it will get stolen or be affected by some sort of act of God tonight. It's pretty much too nice to ever drive. I have to pay for it forever. Other than that, I feel really great about it.
So, now, to say goodbye to my old car, which is sleeping tonight in its new home at the dealership, I present, A Requiem for the Old Avalon....
The Avalon and I came together in the summer before my senior year of college. I didn't want a new car, but unfortunately my younger brother crashed my old Camry while I was studying abroad. Everyone told me that he was lucky to be alive, but I was not happy about losing my old faithful car. Dad and I went down to South Carolina to car-shop (car shopping is about the only thing that South Carolina is good for). We found this Avalon, a '96 with incredibly low mileage, and I think I had a mini-nervous breakdown but decided to go for it. The car had just come on the lot the day before, so we were taking a risk, but Dad haggled to a price that was good (I remember being mortified).
Soon after buying the car, I discovered that it smoked every time I started it. Something with the valves, and people told me it would be too expensive to fix so I've been dealing with that for the last four years. Off the Avalon went to college (it still has the parking sticker from the Emory garage). I don't think anything too notable happened to it there.
When I went to Seattle, I went by myself, and my parents shipped the car out to me later. That was cheaper than driving it and paying for hotels and gas and the like. My old apartment had a garage and pretty soon after the car arrived, I hit the side of the garage and knocked the drivers side mirror off. I think that's where one of my first paychecks went.
In 2005, I went to Spokane, and on the way back, this giant rock hit my windshield and cracked it. What a fond way to remember that trip everytime I got in my car
Then I had the enormous ordeal of trying to register the car in Washington. I couldn't find all the forms I needed and I couldn't find any evidence that we'd paid any tax on the car and frankly I'm not quite sure that I swung that legally.
Sometime between November 2005 and the first few months of 2006, we had torrential rains and the car flooded. Maybe six inches of standing water in the trunk. It molded in the interior. The place that I took to get it fixed completely screwed me over and the car has never been the same, particularly in the arena of smell, ever since.
This year, the dealership told me they could fix that smoking-everytime-it-starts thing. Well, they couldn't. And it only took a few months and a lot of money to figure out they couldn't. And the "check engine" light has been on ever since.
I'm sure I'll think of more. What I'm trying to get across in my requiem is, good riddance, you stupid car. I am not going to miss you at all. Me and my new pretty pretty car are going to be so happy without you, provided it does not get stolen tonight.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Book #15: Shopaholic & Baby
The book: Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella
What is this book about: This book continues the adventures of Becky Bloomwood, previously documented in Confessions of a Shopaholic, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, and Shopaholic and Sister. In this book, Becky is pregnant and is dealing with shopping of course, and also the fact that her obstetrician is her husband's ex-girlfriend.
Why did I read this book: Because the Shopaholic series is my guilty pleasure.
What did I think of this book: Overall it was good. There were a few times that I wished that something in Becky's life could just be simple, and she could avoid so many Amelia Bedelia kinds of blunders and embarassments. But that wouldn't make for a very good fictional character, I guess. There was a whole lotta suspense in this one, because it seems that Becky's husband might be having an affair with the above-mentioned obstetrician. I don't know how much further this concept can be stretched...although, despite the title, Becky is pregnant the entire book, so the next book can actually be about shopping with ethe baby, I suppose.
What was my favorite part of this book: The obstetrician was really bitchy, so there were some good scenes there. Becky gets to have the kinds of confrontations that I wish I could have all the time, and in this book, they were particularly satisfying because she gets to say everything the way the reader wants her to say it.
What did I learn from this book: 1. Never trust ex-girlfriends. 2. Everything will turn out perfectly if your name is Becky Bloomwood, even if it seems like things are going to crash down on you for 300 pages.
What grade do I give this book: B+ (and I realize it's a little embarassing that I'm giving a Shopaholic book a higher grade than some of the other, more mature things I've read. But that just goes to show, do not underestimate the power of good chick lit)
What is this book about: This book continues the adventures of Becky Bloomwood, previously documented in Confessions of a Shopaholic, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, and Shopaholic and Sister. In this book, Becky is pregnant and is dealing with shopping of course, and also the fact that her obstetrician is her husband's ex-girlfriend.
Why did I read this book: Because the Shopaholic series is my guilty pleasure.
What did I think of this book: Overall it was good. There were a few times that I wished that something in Becky's life could just be simple, and she could avoid so many Amelia Bedelia kinds of blunders and embarassments. But that wouldn't make for a very good fictional character, I guess. There was a whole lotta suspense in this one, because it seems that Becky's husband might be having an affair with the above-mentioned obstetrician. I don't know how much further this concept can be stretched...although, despite the title, Becky is pregnant the entire book, so the next book can actually be about shopping with ethe baby, I suppose.
What was my favorite part of this book: The obstetrician was really bitchy, so there were some good scenes there. Becky gets to have the kinds of confrontations that I wish I could have all the time, and in this book, they were particularly satisfying because she gets to say everything the way the reader wants her to say it.
What did I learn from this book: 1. Never trust ex-girlfriends. 2. Everything will turn out perfectly if your name is Becky Bloomwood, even if it seems like things are going to crash down on you for 300 pages.
What grade do I give this book: B+ (and I realize it's a little embarassing that I'm giving a Shopaholic book a higher grade than some of the other, more mature things I've read. But that just goes to show, do not underestimate the power of good chick lit)
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
dishwasher
Look, if you're reading this, and you haven't seen The Usual Suspects, and you don't want to know the end, don't read the next sentence....Okay, so you know how at the end, someone (I won't even say who), is walking, with a pronounced limp, much as I have walked for the past few weeks, and then the limp slowly disappears and the twist of the movie is revealed? Well, I have been waiting for that to happen to me. When I hobble down the street, trying to walk normally, I watch myself in the windows and wonder if this is my Keyser Soze moment. So far, I have not really had a good normal walk but I am getting closer. I am doing stairs better. I went to the gym and did 20 minutes on a stationary bike. But I still have some pain and I lack full range of motion. What oh what will my blog be about when my knee is better?
But I did drive for the first time since the accident this past weekend. Rather than choosing a nice short drive for my first drive, I drove all the way to Portland so Clair could pick up her car. Luckily that is a fairly easy drive, with no scary passes or the like, and the driving went well. It was the walking that was a killer, I guess due to stiffness from 3 hours of driving.
Portland was very nice though. We only had a few hours, so we went to REI, Lululemon, Anthropologie, and of course Powell's, where I bought myself an early birthday present (the Edith Grossman translation of Don Quixote). It was also a great eating day. We started off in Seattle at Greatful Bread, where I had an amazing raspberry scone. In Portland we ate at a vegan restaurant that was in the front of a yoga studio, and I had a spicy avocado sandwich with tofu and a blueberry smoothie. We split a spinach salad. After shopping we went to Bakery Bar, where we split a carrot cake cupcake and a chocolate chip cranberry cookie. All of these food items were excellent and if you are in Seattle and driving to Portland for the day, I suggest you eat the exact same things.
But look, after seeing the yoga studio with a restaurant in front, I have decided that I will open one here in Seattle. It's the most amazing thing ever. Imagine going to a 6 pm yoga class, getting out at 7 or 7:30, and then enjoying a healthy meal, then heading home. That sounds just heavenly to me and I would like to believe I am not alone in that. My yoga studio will be known for its very hard yoga, its very good food, and special events including concerts, movies, and readings. Also the restaurant will have a little bakery and serve alcohol as well. Let me know if you want to provide funding.
But I did drive for the first time since the accident this past weekend. Rather than choosing a nice short drive for my first drive, I drove all the way to Portland so Clair could pick up her car. Luckily that is a fairly easy drive, with no scary passes or the like, and the driving went well. It was the walking that was a killer, I guess due to stiffness from 3 hours of driving.
Portland was very nice though. We only had a few hours, so we went to REI, Lululemon, Anthropologie, and of course Powell's, where I bought myself an early birthday present (the Edith Grossman translation of Don Quixote). It was also a great eating day. We started off in Seattle at Greatful Bread, where I had an amazing raspberry scone. In Portland we ate at a vegan restaurant that was in the front of a yoga studio, and I had a spicy avocado sandwich with tofu and a blueberry smoothie. We split a spinach salad. After shopping we went to Bakery Bar, where we split a carrot cake cupcake and a chocolate chip cranberry cookie. All of these food items were excellent and if you are in Seattle and driving to Portland for the day, I suggest you eat the exact same things.
But look, after seeing the yoga studio with a restaurant in front, I have decided that I will open one here in Seattle. It's the most amazing thing ever. Imagine going to a 6 pm yoga class, getting out at 7 or 7:30, and then enjoying a healthy meal, then heading home. That sounds just heavenly to me and I would like to believe I am not alone in that. My yoga studio will be known for its very hard yoga, its very good food, and special events including concerts, movies, and readings. Also the restaurant will have a little bakery and serve alcohol as well. Let me know if you want to provide funding.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
Today I had my favorite fast food meal of all time, which is of course the Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich (no lettuce on the sandwich) Combo.
Then I tried to do some shopping, which was mainly filled with disappointments. The disappointments included the Seahawks losing the playoff game to Chicago while I was in Fred Meyer (Fred Meyer announced that anti-depressants would be half-price in the pharmacy)and failing to find most of the things I was looking for. These things included a belt, a shower curtain, stationary, a biography of Pete Seeger and various CD's. Not finding the CD's was possibly most disturbing of all, because I went to Easy Street Records, which is my favorite record store and usually unfailingly reliable in terms of stock and price. But even they let me down. I'm not too worried, though, because I know a place, and that place is Amazon. Although my beltless situation is getting pretty dire as well.
Regardless, today was still a nice day. I drove around listening to Emmylou Harris and looking at the snow. Some of the things that I did manage to find were a t-shirt, cereal, Chlorox wipes, earrings, and shampoo/conditioner that promises that my hair won't get poofy as it dries.
Then I tried to do some shopping, which was mainly filled with disappointments. The disappointments included the Seahawks losing the playoff game to Chicago while I was in Fred Meyer (Fred Meyer announced that anti-depressants would be half-price in the pharmacy)and failing to find most of the things I was looking for. These things included a belt, a shower curtain, stationary, a biography of Pete Seeger and various CD's. Not finding the CD's was possibly most disturbing of all, because I went to Easy Street Records, which is my favorite record store and usually unfailingly reliable in terms of stock and price. But even they let me down. I'm not too worried, though, because I know a place, and that place is Amazon. Although my beltless situation is getting pretty dire as well.
Regardless, today was still a nice day. I drove around listening to Emmylou Harris and looking at the snow. Some of the things that I did manage to find were a t-shirt, cereal, Chlorox wipes, earrings, and shampoo/conditioner that promises that my hair won't get poofy as it dries.
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