Indiana Jones Hour 8: The End...until the 4th movie

For the first part of this hour, I did an online Sudoko that was rated five stars for difficulty. I pretended that if I solved the puzzle, that it would be the equivalent of beating the Nazis in the race for religious artifacts. Well, I solved it in 15 minutes, Indiana Jones. You still haven’t even rescued your dad from that tank yet. Clearly I am the superior archaeologist.

Sean Connery thinks that Indy died and regrets he never told him anything fatherly. But it turns out Indy is still alive. The two men hug in a rare display of emotion. Do you think after this movie that their father-son rift is healed and they become close? Based on the non-existent fate of Indy’s former best friend Short Round, then I doubt it.

So, what happens in the next movie, which is about crystal skulls, has been pretty well-guarded. I’m going to come up with some vicious lies and list them here in the hopes that maybe one of them is right and I look like a magical seer.
--Indiana Jones dies.
--Indiana Jones dates a girl named Ally McBeal.
--Indiana Jones is Iron Man.
--Indiana Jones gets really into Sudoko.
--Marion wears those red pants again.
--Short Round makes a cameo.
--Indiana Jones gets eaten by a shark.
--Indiana Jones has a long-lost twin named Illinois.
--Indiana Jones has a crystal skull.
--Indiana Jones has an affair with a student (played by Lindsey Lohan)
--Indiana Jones accepts a job offer at a burgeoning paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
--Indiana Jones runs for president.
--Indiana Jones has mid-life crisis now that there are no damn dirty Nazis to fight.

So now there’s approximately 20 minutes left in this movie and in this epic quest of mine. Indy is trying to get the grail to save his father. He meets a knight. The bad guy drinks from the wrong grail. Indy picks the right grail and saves his dad. The hot librarian gets too greedy about the possibility of everlasting life. Indiana learns that sometimes archaeological artifacts aren’t the most important things in the world. We learn Indy's real name. Everyone thinks this is the last crusade but they are wrong. The movie ends. I get my life back and eight blog posts. Everyone wins except for Nazis.