Goodbye old friend

Before I completely lose the cane, which I hope happens in the next day or two, I must share some of the affectionate nicknames and daydreams that walking with a cane has inspired:

Nicknames:

• Co-caine (This is the one that I spread around the office which I think led to some confusion for people, who didn't hear the whole story, yet kept hearing "Molly" and "cocaine" used in the same sentence)
• Candy Cane (To be used instead of the above, if children were present)
• Sugar Cane
• B-c-ane of my Existence

Daydreams:

• I twirl it, like a baton
• I walk down the street, and then suddenly break into a musical number. This daydream had many variations; the variations usually involved what kind of hat I was wearing. Top hat, bowler--these are good kinds of hats for singing and dancing with a cane. A baseball hat is not a good hat for a musical number fantasy. The most common motif on this theme involved me being a male in England, with a bowler and a handlebar mustache, walking all jaunty with the cane and possibly being in a Monty Python movie.
• Remember in the original Willy Wonka movie, where Gene Wilder comes out with the cane, and the kids are getting all bummed because this man is old and slow, then he falls! but no! it's just a somersault and the cane is but a mere prop? I would think about that a lot.
• The end of the cane could be magic, and would really contain an umbrella, or confetti, or one of those cloths that just says 'bang' and I could pop out whatever I needed to create a humorous situation.
• Beating people senseless with the cane. I mean, people are not all that nice to people they don't know who are injured, and when you are holding a natural weapon, the thought crosses one's mind to do violence to these people. I am not proud of this daydream, but I won't pretend that it didn't cross my mind from time to time.
• I smuggle things in the cane, for the good of my country.