a chicken and egg scenario

A sad fact of the universe is that the marketplace forces us to think about holidays far earlier than we are ready to think about them. Before all the Fourth of July fireworks have gone off, then the stores will be decorated for Halloween. Or they might go straight to Thanksgiving. Without a doubt, Christmas will last for several months, and as soon as that’s over, then it’s Valentine’s Day. I mean, I can’t even have a proper President’s Day party without having to think ahead to my Veteran’s Day party!

Well, most of the time I am a grumbling goose about how early the holidays are celebrated in certain retail stores. But I finally found something that is to my benefit…the Cadbury Creme Eggs are already out! Easter is not for three more months! I don’t remember them ever being out so early before. I guess I could have missed them in years past. But there is no missing them now. They are everywhere. The Cadbury Chicken has been pumping them out in overdrive.

Cadbury Creme Eggs are one of my very favorite candies. It probably helps that they are seasonal, and only come out at Easter, because if you think about it, it is fairly gross to eat something that is chocolate on the outside but that tries to mock an egg on the inside.

Here is how to properly eat a Cadbury egg: First, say a little Easter prayer that you will not get an egg with a sticky wrapper. Those are the worst. Hold the egg longways, like you do when you’re trying to get an egg to stand on end on the summer solstice. Then, unwrap just the top of the egg, much like how you should unwrap just the top of a burrito, and not the whole thing. Take a bite of the top of the egg. Then suck out all the egg-like frosting that you can. Then, another bite of chocolate. Then repeat. Now, sometimes when you eat a burrito, you try to get those perfect bites that have a little bit of everything—some cheese, some guac, some salsa and meat. Don’t try to do that here. Keep the bites of chocolate and cream separate.

There you go. Apparently eating a Cadbury egg is kind of like eating a burrito.

I feel like this should go without saying, but bring me no imitations of the original. No Cadbury Caramel egg or the like. You will just be insulting my intelligence if you do this. And Cadbury mini-eggs…I’m not quite convinced that those things are not just stale M&M’s.

Anyways, consider this blog a public service announcement: If you love Cadbury eggs and wait for their arrival every year, then they are in stores now! Perhaps it’s crass commercialism, or perhaps they’ve arrived early so that people who give up chocolate for Lent can enjoy a few. Because once Easter is over, those bad buys are gone. Risen like the Lord, I guess.