Good news. I survived the night with a giant bug running around my apartment. I didn’t have the best night of sleep, simply because I kept imagining I felt things running up my legs or getting in my hair and whatnot.
I also had a dream that the bug somehow got inside me and laid hundreds of thousands of giant bug baby eggs and I became the carrier for all these eggs, and I became increasingly more moody and irritable until one day my skin split open and the bugs came out of my skin and every orifice and I didn’t sleep too much after that.
Oh! But before that, I had a different dream, which was my brothers built a boat by hand, and we took it out on the water, and for some reason we gave Lindsay Lohan a ride. When Lindsay Lohan got on board, there was too much weight and the boat started going underwater and Lindsay Lohan got all wet. She was not too happy.
Sorry, it can be pretty boring when people talk about their dreams. I’m just so happy to have made it through the night.
So far this morning there has been no sign of the giant bug. He is probably biding his time until I go to work, at which point he will eat my fish Alvin and do generally awful things to all my belongings.
Okay, gotta go eat some waffles. The baby bugs inside of me are hungry.
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