First up, a giant bug update. I don’t know where it is. But I feel its presence.
Now on to something else that bugs me, giantly. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Most people who’ve talked to me for any length of time know that Jennifer Love Hewitt is my archnemesis. I really would prefer that she go away.
But she doesn’t go away! She keeps on being famous for not doing anything! First she was famous because she had big boobs and she talked about them ALL THE TIME. Last year she was famous because she got fat and she yelled at everyone for calling her fat. And now, this week, she’s famous because she got skinny. Do you know who else had that kind of career, Jennifer Love Hewitt? Anna Nicole Smith, that’s who. Big boobs, fat, then skinny. Now I’m beginning to think that both of you having three names is no mere coincidence.
Now, despite her earlier comments that it didn’t matter what she looked like, and hey, she wasn’t fat, Jennifer Love Hewitt is making the rounds talking about how great it is to be skinny. Today I saw some comments that just made my blood boil, and I must talk about them.
Here are the comments, as quoted from People Magazine:
“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, ‘No, I feel fat today!’ Now the joke’s on me. I want to tell all the young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your twenties when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg.”
And on turning 30 next year, JLH says:
“I’m so excited! It’s my dream age. I don’t know why but, literally since my 12th birthday I’ve wanted to turn 30.”
Okay, Jennifer Love Hewitt, here is why I think you are an idiot, besides the fact that you make people call you “Love” and you talk about your boobs all the time:
Now on to something else that bugs me, giantly. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Most people who’ve talked to me for any length of time know that Jennifer Love Hewitt is my archnemesis. I really would prefer that she go away.
But she doesn’t go away! She keeps on being famous for not doing anything! First she was famous because she had big boobs and she talked about them ALL THE TIME. Last year she was famous because she got fat and she yelled at everyone for calling her fat. And now, this week, she’s famous because she got skinny. Do you know who else had that kind of career, Jennifer Love Hewitt? Anna Nicole Smith, that’s who. Big boobs, fat, then skinny. Now I’m beginning to think that both of you having three names is no mere coincidence.
Now, despite her earlier comments that it didn’t matter what she looked like, and hey, she wasn’t fat, Jennifer Love Hewitt is making the rounds talking about how great it is to be skinny. Today I saw some comments that just made my blood boil, and I must talk about them.
Here are the comments, as quoted from People Magazine:
“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, ‘No, I feel fat today!’ Now the joke’s on me. I want to tell all the young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your twenties when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg.”
And on turning 30 next year, JLH says:
“I’m so excited! It’s my dream age. I don’t know why but, literally since my 12th birthday I’ve wanted to turn 30.”
Okay, Jennifer Love Hewitt, here is why I think you are an idiot, besides the fact that you make people call you “Love” and you talk about your boobs all the time:
1. 12-year-olds should not walk around naked! That is really inappropriate! I would say the same goes for 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18 year olds. Maybe when you go to college you can walk around naked. Oh, you didn’t go to college? So sad for you.
2. Really? You used to ‘scoff’ at your mother and grandma? You would scoff at them? I’ve seen you act, Jennifer Love Hewitt. I’m not sure you could scoff if your life depended on it.
3. I don’t know if you’ve heard of a little thing called skin cancer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, but that’s just one reason why young girls shouldn’t walk around in bikinis all summer. What kind of role model are you not to tell girls to wear sunscreen?
4. Look, I am in my twenties, as you are, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Granted, you appear to be 3 years older than me, and maybe something happens in those three years that I don’t quite understand, but I think that if you ever eat a hamburger, and then see it immediately on your leg, THEN SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEG.
5. I guess I feel nothing for pity for you if you’ve “literally” been dreaming of turning 30 since you were 12. Too bad you didn’t think of that 13 Going on 30 movie. I guess you were a year ahead of your time. And too busy thinking about your boobs.
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