I must have sneezed 114 times today.

Here are the things that I get when I use the Google search engine to look up my name.

Things that are actually me:
--Work stuff including the company website, materials/summaries with my name on them, the announcements in the paper from when I was hired, weird online networking sites that scan company websites for people.

--A listing with the Center for Ethics, based on a forum I did when I was a sophomore. This one was kind of weird and surprising because I haven't had any contact with the Center for Ethics since I was on the forum, and it's frankly the last organization I would have expected to still have me on the website.

--Articles I wrote for the school paper freshman year of college.

--Articles from the college paper that I appeared in, the most embarassing one being one where I am presented as a huge Dave Matthews fan. While I have nothing against Dave Matthews, I would like to point out that I have never ever been a huge Dave Matthews fan. If you happen to find this article, you will note that my quote does not endorse DMB, but non-commercial music in general. I think I was just sitting there when someone else was interviewed about them. I should have kept my mouth shut, because now I am cyber-linked to DMB for all time probably.

--A page of Italian minors that doesn't seem to be updated very much. Although maybe not very many people minor in Italian anymore.

Things that are not me:
--Someone who wrote a book about birds. She definitely has way more listings than I do.

--A golfer in Portland.

--A girl who was an intern at a zoo.

--Someone who is acknowledged as having helped with a paper on cardiovascular dysfunction, including possibly typing the manuscript (I can't tell if these two are the same person or not. People with my name are very helpful.)

--People from olden days who have died. My favorite being a letter from 1878 where the letter writer tells the person with my name to quit her pining and get good and fat, because he would like nothing more than to see her in good health and fat next summer. I certainly hope that one day I get a letter like this and can put it on the internet.

--Someone who got a park named after her in Chicago.

I would just like to point out to the people of Google, Inc., who must read this blog since it's on Blogger, that I made every effort to use the word "Google" in the correct method in the first sentence. I did not haphazardly use it as a verb. Even though I really wanted to.