Happy birthday, John Cusack

Well, today is John Cusack’s 41st birthday. I might have been blogging about John Krasinski last night, but it is fairly well-known that my longest running and most enduring celebrity crush is John Cusack. In honor of his birthday, I present you with a film-by-film review of Mr. Cusack’s storied career.

I got this filmography from Wikipedia, and it seems only okay…it leaves out a brief cameo in Broadcast News as “Angry Messenger”…a blink and you’ll miss it role, where a very young John walks through the newsroom, slams down a mailbag, and yells, “this is bullshit!” And no filmography seems to mention a great JC cameo…in Ocean’s Eleven, John Cusack plays the thief who gets shot outside a casino. It’s where they’re doing the flashbacks to other people who have tried to rob casinos. As “Take My Breath Away” plays, John Cusack, holding money, runs with a cigarette in his mouth. Then he gets shot. It’s a really really great performance.


Class (1983)
Is it weird that John Cusack has been making movies for almost as long as I have been alive? I don’t think so. I haven’t seen this movie.

Sixteen Candles (1984)
I haven’t seen this movie, because I just can’t stand that Molly Ringwald.

Grandview, U.S.A. (1984)
I don’t think there’s any conceivable way to even see this movie anymore.

The Sure Thing (1985)
Here is where things start getting good. The Sure Thing is a road trip movie, and a romantic comedy where John teaches a frigid Daphne Zuniga how to let go a little, how to live it up, and most importantly, how to love. My favorite line of this movie is, “Cheetos in Albuquerque, I can hardly wait!”

The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)
Ah, this is a movie I remember liking as a kid, and then when I grew up and realized that it was John Cusack, well, it made the memory all the sweeter.

Better Off Dead (1985)
This is one of the best John Cusack movies of all time. It is so funny and imaginative. Somehow it even ended up on Entertainment Weekly’s Best Sports Movies of All-Time, because surely Entertainment Weekly has realized that this movie should be mentioned as much as possible. I tried to find a YouTube clip of the best moment of this film (the musical number in the restaurant), but it’s sadly unavailable.

One Crazy Summer (1986)
People like to compare and contrast Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer, since it’s the same director and uses some of the same techniques (animation), and while Better Off Dead is the much better movie, that didn’t stop me from watching this movie like 150 times that crazy summer when it was on Comedy Central all the time.

Hot Pursuit (1987)
In this movie, John Cusack has a hot girlfriend, and he wants to go on a Caribbean vacation with her and her family. He fails chemistry though (which is TOTALLY HER FAULT, BECAUSE SHE DISTRACTS HIM FROM STUDYING AND HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE TEST. OH MY GOD SHE IS SUCH A BITCH, JOHN CUSACK, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU) but luckily the chemistry professor gives him a freebie because he knows the chemical formula for coffee. So John runs after that stupid whore but has to fight off pirates instead.

Eight Men Out (1988)
This is a great movie.

Tapeheads (1988)
Once I found this on VHS in K-Mart for a dollar. It’s hard to argue with a movie with both John Cusack and Tim Robbins, except when that movie is Tapeheads.

Say Anything (1989)
Well, there’s so much to say about this movie. It was my first introduction to John Cusack and is probably 89% responsible for me moving to Seattle, because I thought at the town would be crawling with Lloyd Doblers (or at the very least, Campbell Scott’s from Singles). While perhaps this film has given me and other females of my generation a warped sense of love (see Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs), at least it did so in a quotable way. Movie #1 of the Cusack trifecta.

Fat Man and Little Boy (1989)
It’s kinda hard to believe that a movie about atomic bombs featuring Paul Newman and John Cusack wasn’t a bigger deal. I like the scene where John Cusack teaches Laura Dern to dance.

The Grifters (1990)
I think John has spent most of his movie life chasing the attitude of this movie, the kind of character he played in this movie.

True Colors (1991)
This movie is kind of weird because John Cusack is the bad guy and James Spader of all people is the good guy. James Spader as the good guy? But they meet at the University of Virginia and start climbing the ranks of law, politics, etc. As you can tell, I’m biased, but I think this is actually a great movie with a great John performance…the way he hides where he’s from to get to where he wants to be.

Shadows and Fog (1992)
Thus begins the dark days of the Cusack Career.

Bob Roberts (1992)
A bright light, a cameo, in the midst of the dark days.

Roadside Prophets (1992)
These days were dark.

Map of the Human Heart (1993)
How dark were these days.

Money for Nothing (1993)
In the midst of the dark days, came this film, which seemed to run a lot at random times on like, HBO2 or something. I have probably seen this movie like 50 times and that is nothing to be proud of, but I can tell you some interesting things about this movie. John Cusack plays Joey Coyle, who found $1.2 million when it fell off an armored truck. Then his life goes to hell, as he has to deal with his family, his demanding girlfriend, and mobsters/bookies. It’s based on a true story, with the real Joey Coyle committing suicide shortly before or after the movie came out. Features a young James Gandolfini as John Cusack’s brother.

Floundering (1994)
Dark days.

Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
I think I was too young when I saw this movie and should probably watch it again.

The Road to Wellville (1994)
This is a weird movie where John Cusack is trying to come up with a competitor for Kellogg’s corn flakes. I remember this movie more for Dana Carvey playing Anthony Hopkins’ insane son.

City Hall (1996)
This movie features John Cusack attempting a southern accent. It involves Al Pacino and political corruption.

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
Movie # 2 of the Cusack Trifecta, and a near-perfect film. This movie is a swift kick to the head that alters your reality forever. Look, I don’t want to get into a semantic argument, I just want the protein. Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head? I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. Hey Jenny Slater. I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southlands. Some people say forgive and forget. Nah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And... get the hell out of town.

I think my favorite moment is anything that happens in the Ultimart, but particularly when it’s playing the Muzak version of “Live and Let Die”. Sometimes I put this movie on to listen to while I go to sleep, but then I end up waking up when there is shooting.

Con Air (1997)
Always quick to disarm critics, John Cusack liked to point out in interviews for this movie that he wasn't selling out to do a pithy action movie; rather, he was the first post-Biblical action hero who wore sandals. I think this anecdote shows humanity as an actor and as a person. Also, an ability to look on the sunny side of life. I don't know. It's a pretty frickin' enjoyable movie, even if you dislike Nicholas Cage doing a southern accent as much as I do.

Anastasia (1997) (voice)
Here we have some solid voice work, as an animated John Cusack takes on Russian history. This movie features an irresistably catchy song that goes, "Have you heard?! There's a rumor in St. Petersburg! Have you heard?! There's a rumor in St. Petersburg!" When I was spending the summer in Russia, I would frequently sing this song to myself as I walked around and whatnot, imagining vacations with John Cusack during the White Nights.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)
I used to watch a tape of this movie while I did homework a lot. I didn't read the book, so I couldn't be disappointed (which I gather a lot of people were). Features several scenes of John Cusack looking quite dapper in a tuxedo. I think both John Cusack and Kevin Spacey are very good in this film.

Chicago Cab (1998)
I missed this one.

This Is My Father (1998)
He's in there for just a little bit playing a pilot.

The Thin Red Line (1998)
This is a long movie to watch when John Cusack is just a supporting character. Do you remember the hullabaloo when this movie came out? It was right after Saving Private Ryan and everyone was so fatigued by three hour long war movies that no one really knew what to do with another one.

Pushing Tin (1999)
This movie is perhaps more famous as being the movie where Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton met, but it's an interesting statement on how people compete with each other, and the struggle to be the best at something. Also the struggle between contentment and wondering if you can stay in this stasis of contentment for the rest of your life. And also a statement on the fragile mental health of air traffic controllers. I have probably watched this movie like 100 times.

Cradle Will Rock (1999)
This is a large ensemble cast featuring Cusack playing Rockefeller. It's a really great movie, and even just thinking about it now is making me think about watching it again sometime soon.

Being John Malkovich (1999)
This movie would be brilliant even if John Cusack were not in it, but it is made even more brilliant by his appearance. I don't really have anything original to say about this movie, so I am just going to list the John Cusack quotes from this movie that I like:

--Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

--I mean, it raises all sorts of philosophical-type questions, you know... about the nature of self, about the existence of a soul. You know, am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich? I had a piece of wood in my hand Maxine. I don't have it any more. Where is it? Did it disappear? How could that be? Is it still in Malkovich's head? I don't know! Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is? I don't see how I could go on living my life the way I've lived it before.

--The symbol on the left is not a letter, sir?

--You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

The Jack Bull (1999)
In this movie you can watch John Cusack ride horses!

High Fidelity (2000)
#3 in the Cusack Trifecta of essential movies. I spent so much time in college thinking about this movie and all the subtle nuances of it. I heavily identified with that passion for music as a lifestyle, of finding songs that were so much like you and what you were feeling that it physically affected you. I don't do that so much anymore, because even though I love music, living that way can be kind of exhausting, and frankly, a lot of good songs can be ruined that way. Other things: perhaps I don't call them Top 5's, but I do a lot of lists in my blog and there's probably some direct lineage from this movie. I don't think it's any coincidence that 2/3 of the Cusack trifecta are movies that John wrote or adapted or was pretty heavily involved in the making of. Hopefully he can do more of that in the future. I think the girls who were cast in this movie are kind of lame (exception: Joan Cusack of course), but here we have a star-making performance by Jack Black (Let 'em riot, we're Sonic fucking Death Monkey) as well as great cameos by Tim Robbins and Bruce Springsteen.

America's Sweethearts (2001)
Well, if there's one thing we learned from High Fidelity, it's that Catherine Zeta-Jones can sure play a mega bitch, and she returns in fine form here to play John Cusack's estranged wife. Is it selling out to be in a romantic comedy with Julia Roberts? I don't know. I think the good scenes here are: the scenes of John Cusack at the wellness center, including the flashback of how he went crazy when he saw Catherine Z-J with Hank Azaria; the scene where C Z-J and John are doing interviews all day long at the press junket. I do not like the scene where John Cusack goes, "Remember when we were in Carolina shooting a movie and we rode on go-carts?" Because I do not like it when people do not specify which Carolina they are talking about. It makes them sound too interchangeable.

Serendipity (2001)
I enjoy watching this movie, and I enjoyed walking around New York City last year looking at places that were in the movie. I like watching John Cusack and Jeremy Piven play friends and I am very concerned about the rumors earlier this year that they have had a falling out (due to John being jealous of Jeremy's success in Entourage). But I can't really understand the premise of this movie, because no matter what you believe about destiny or fate or serendipity, I really really really think you should give John Cusack your phone number if he asks for it. So I have no sympathy for Kate Beckinsdale's character in this film, or understanding of her at all.

Max (2002)
I can see how it possibly appeared to have Oscar written all over it, but I just don't think the world was ready for a film that explored trivia such as whether Hitler enjoyed lemonade (the lemonade anecdote being one that John Cusack really liked to throw out in interviews regarding this film. BTW, whatever happened to Leelee Sobieski?

Adaptation. (2002)
A brief cameo to recapture the Being John Malkovich glory.

Identity (2003)
I watched this movie by myself one night in college and nearly died of fright. It does not take much for a movie to frighten me though if I am home alone.

Runaway Jury (2003)
This is a highly enjoyable thrill ride of a film, bringing together talented actors that include Cusack, Dustin Hoffman, and Gene Hackman. It is based on a John Grisham book, but they changed the lawsuit from cigarettes to guns in the movie. I think my favorite part of this movie can be summed up in two words: Madden Challenge.

Must Love Dogs (2005)
I like to watch this movie and fast forward through any scene that Diane Lane is in where John Cusack is also not in the scene. I chalk this up to something I learned from the internet, which is the director of this movie gave John Cusack the script for this movie and told him to readjust lines to make them sound more natural, as needed. And John Cusack completely re-wrote his lines and his part as a result. So I think his scenes have a little more natural, realistic feel. I like that two of the character’s quirks were a love of Dr. Zhivago and a passion for making wooden boats. John Cusack, if you are reading this, I really like Russian literature and boats! We can talk about it!

At the beginning of his career, John really railed against playing high schoolers and being in 80's teen comedies. But I can't imagine that playing love interests for 40-somethings is that much more fulfilling, so I wonder which one he'd pick now if he could.

The Ice Harvest (2005)
This was a pretty underrated movie. I would recommend it.

The Contract (2006)
I missed this one.

1408 (2007)
I am going to try to go see this movie during the weekend, but I am nervous about getting too scared (see: Identity)