Okay so now I have to try to figure out what I missed in the last hour. Indy is in a cave…maybe the titular temple of doom? People are chanting. He’s still got Kate Capshaw and the little kid with him. I really don’t remember anything about this movie.
I was just joking in that last post about human sacrifice, but that might actually be about to happen. OH MY GOD THIS IS THE ONE WHERE THEY RIP PEOPLE’S HEARTS OUT OF THEIR CHESTS HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN SUCH A THING?!?!?!?
Maybe that’s why they edited this one for content. Oh my. I wonder if Indy will explain the archaeological significance of what just happened, or if I missed that part. Indy went to go get something archaeologically significant even though Kate Capshaw didn’t want him to. I think he got it but if the first movie is any indication then some Nazis will surely be along soon to take it from him. Are Nazis in this one? And where did this little kid come from? He’s so precocious.
Now they have an Indy voodoo doll that they’re putting in fire. What is this religion all about? They must have one bad-ass store to get their little outfits and accessories and candles and whatnot. Now they are beating Indy with a whip, which makes me wonder if Indy will reconsider its use as a weapon. A fun fact to lighten up this torture scene is that Harrison Ford provided the whipcracks on the Jimmy Buffett song “Desperation Samba (Halloween in Tijuana)”. Jimmy Buffett and Harrison Ford are friends in real life.
This religion seems kind of similar to the one practiced by the people who are after Ringo Starr in the movie “Help!” Except vastly more violent, and the little kid doesn’t provide the same comic relief that Lennon/McCartney did. I just looked him up and he’s also in The Goonies and the television show “Head of the Class.” There’s a show that they should think about bringing to DVD. The little kid just told Indy that Indy is his best friend. I don’t think that portends good things for his emotional development. Indy will love you and leave you, kid. And it’s kind of a miracle you’re not dead yet. Temples of doom are no places for little kids.
Which is why, of course, Indy has to save all the little kids that have been turned into slaves! But someone gets out the Indy voodoo doll again, which means the little kid and Kate Capshaw have to do some of the heavy lifting. One guy dies by getting crushed in a wheel thing. Now they’re all in a cart and I think they’re going through the set of “Mr Toad’s Wild Ride.” This had to be a bitch to film.
Indy stops a car with his feet and then he gets chased by lots of water. Two things I would not like about being an archaeologist are the running and all the peril. Now the little kid has discovered a bridge that goes over alligators. That seems like a good place to wrap up hour 5.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Indiana Jones Hour Four: What an exciting hour!
For Hour 4 I went outside on the deck and read my book. There was a pleasant breeze. It got a little darkly ominous and even rained for a few minutes. But it stopped as suddenly as it began. I have no idea what I missed. Is this the one where they eat bugs and make a human sacrifice out of the little kid?
Indiana Jones Hour 3: An exclusive interview
Hour Three starts and we’re still in the first movie. The fact that I’m already so tuckered makes me worry that I might not be up to the challenge of blogging all these movies. I feel bad that I’m so tired. Indiana Jones fought all these damn dirty Nazis and he never complained about being tired. To spice things up I am going to conduct an interview for hour 3. An interview with myself.
Molly #1: Why are you so tired?
Molly #2: I don’t know.
Molly #1: You haven’t even been paying attention to this for like 15 minutes, have you?
Molly #2: No. I honestly don’t know how Marion and Indy got on this ship or whatever they’re on. Do they have the ark with them?
Molly #1: I don’t know. Why don’t you focus on this love scene that is the culmination of two hours of sexual tension?
Molly #2: Okay.
Molly #1: It was over kinda quick!
Molly #2: That’s what she said!
Molly #1: Oh dear, bad guys have found them.
Molly #2: How original. I did not see that coming.
Molly #1: So Molly #2, are you excited about the new Indiana Jones movie?
Molly #2: I’m sort of ambivalent. I don’t know whether I will go see it in theaters or not.
Molly #1: Do you think Harrison Ford is too old?
Molly #2: No. I’m pretty sure Harrison Ford will outlive us all and don’t think his age will be too much of a factor. I’m intrigued by Cate Blanchett as a “ruthless Soviet agent and sword wielding villain” (that’s how my tie-in can of Diet Dr. Pepper describes her) and would be happy to watch her read the phone book. Shia LaBeouf seems like a charming young man, the character of Marion is back, and I’m sure John Williams’ stirring score will manipulate my emotions appropriately.
Molly #1: Did you know “LaBeouf” means “the beef” in French?
Molly #2: Yeah, he mentioned that on Letterman once. You know what’s kinda frustrating? It keeps looking like it’s gonna rain and then it doesn’t. If it’s not going to rain I’m going to go outside.
Molly #1: Really? And miss the breathtaking conclusion of this movie? What will happen to the ark? What will happen to Indy and Marion?
Molly #2: I just had an awesome idea. I think there should be a band called Indiana and the Jones, and they sing songs about things in the movie. Like one song could be called “Damn Dirty Nazis” and one song could be called “Don’t Look Directly at What’s in the Ark (Unless You Want Fire to Go Through Your Stomach and Destroy You).”
Molly #1: Lame-o!
Molly #2: Oh finally the first movie is over. Now we have “Temple of Doom.”
Molly #1: Would you say that it’s the best titled movie?
Molly #2: I think so. “Temple of Doom” is pretty evocative. “Last Crusade” is just a lie of a title because there’s another crusade about to be released to theaters. “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was pretty good as well.
Molly #1: This movie has apparently been edited for content.
Molly #2: I don’t know how I feel about that. What if they edited something good?
Molly #1: I wish more movies had musical numbers like the one that opens this movie.
Molly #2: I hope Indy can get either the diamond or the antidote in this screwball comedy of an opening scene.
Molly #1: Are there any other cinematic fights that take place in five inches of balloons?
Molly #2: Asia’s a weird place. Oh look, they found that little kid with a speech impediment. He’s so adorable.
Molly #1: I think he grows up to be Shia LaBeouf. Man I could go for some candy right now.
Molly #2: You can get some after this freaky commercial for an underwater circus that somehow turns into a commercial for an insurance company.
Molly #1: Commercials are so zany!
Molly #2: The new Indiana Jones would rock if there was a scene with an underground circus. Actually most everything would rock if there was a scene with an underground circus.
Molly #1: Would you like to go to an underground circus?
Molly #2: No, I would not, because the water would get in my popcorn.
Molly #1: What if they have special underwater refreshments at the underwater circus that you don’t even know about?
Molly #2: I just find that too implausible to consider.
Molly #1: Why are you so tired?
Molly #2: I don’t know.
Molly #1: You haven’t even been paying attention to this for like 15 minutes, have you?
Molly #2: No. I honestly don’t know how Marion and Indy got on this ship or whatever they’re on. Do they have the ark with them?
Molly #1: I don’t know. Why don’t you focus on this love scene that is the culmination of two hours of sexual tension?
Molly #2: Okay.
Molly #1: It was over kinda quick!
Molly #2: That’s what she said!
Molly #1: Oh dear, bad guys have found them.
Molly #2: How original. I did not see that coming.
Molly #1: So Molly #2, are you excited about the new Indiana Jones movie?
Molly #2: I’m sort of ambivalent. I don’t know whether I will go see it in theaters or not.
Molly #1: Do you think Harrison Ford is too old?
Molly #2: No. I’m pretty sure Harrison Ford will outlive us all and don’t think his age will be too much of a factor. I’m intrigued by Cate Blanchett as a “ruthless Soviet agent and sword wielding villain” (that’s how my tie-in can of Diet Dr. Pepper describes her) and would be happy to watch her read the phone book. Shia LaBeouf seems like a charming young man, the character of Marion is back, and I’m sure John Williams’ stirring score will manipulate my emotions appropriately.
Molly #1: Did you know “LaBeouf” means “the beef” in French?
Molly #2: Yeah, he mentioned that on Letterman once. You know what’s kinda frustrating? It keeps looking like it’s gonna rain and then it doesn’t. If it’s not going to rain I’m going to go outside.
Molly #1: Really? And miss the breathtaking conclusion of this movie? What will happen to the ark? What will happen to Indy and Marion?
Molly #2: I just had an awesome idea. I think there should be a band called Indiana and the Jones, and they sing songs about things in the movie. Like one song could be called “Damn Dirty Nazis” and one song could be called “Don’t Look Directly at What’s in the Ark (Unless You Want Fire to Go Through Your Stomach and Destroy You).”
Molly #1: Lame-o!
Molly #2: Oh finally the first movie is over. Now we have “Temple of Doom.”
Molly #1: Would you say that it’s the best titled movie?
Molly #2: I think so. “Temple of Doom” is pretty evocative. “Last Crusade” is just a lie of a title because there’s another crusade about to be released to theaters. “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was pretty good as well.
Molly #1: This movie has apparently been edited for content.
Molly #2: I don’t know how I feel about that. What if they edited something good?
Molly #1: I wish more movies had musical numbers like the one that opens this movie.
Molly #2: I hope Indy can get either the diamond or the antidote in this screwball comedy of an opening scene.
Molly #1: Are there any other cinematic fights that take place in five inches of balloons?
Molly #2: Asia’s a weird place. Oh look, they found that little kid with a speech impediment. He’s so adorable.
Molly #1: I think he grows up to be Shia LaBeouf. Man I could go for some candy right now.
Molly #2: You can get some after this freaky commercial for an underwater circus that somehow turns into a commercial for an insurance company.
Molly #1: Commercials are so zany!
Molly #2: The new Indiana Jones would rock if there was a scene with an underground circus. Actually most everything would rock if there was a scene with an underground circus.
Molly #1: Would you like to go to an underground circus?
Molly #2: No, I would not, because the water would get in my popcorn.
Molly #1: What if they have special underwater refreshments at the underwater circus that you don’t even know about?
Molly #2: I just find that too implausible to consider.
Indiana Jones Hour 2: the capital is Indianapolis
So far I have seen two commercials with Indiana Jones tie-ins: Expedia and Burger King. Maybe I will start taking shots every time there’s an Indiana Jones commercial.
So now we’re back, and Indy is drinking with that monkey and he thinks his woman is dead. Then things get worse because he meets up with that guy who stole the idol at the beginning, Belloq. Belloq is a damn dirty Nazi. Small children save Indy from an escalating war of words with Belloq. That monkey gets in the car with them and that can mean nothing but trouble…unless the monkey gets hungry, eats a poisoned date, and thus saves Indy from death. Turns out that’s what happens. “Bad dates,” the man says.
Now they’re at the dig site and Indy is sneaking around doing archaeologist things. Turns out he is there just at the right time of day to make some important discoveries. I am going to eat two Oreos to celebrate. Then Indy finds out that Marion is still alive. I guess I better make that three Oreos. Then Indy makes the good decision to leave her tied up so he can find the Ark.
Uh-oh, that creepy guy that doesn’t like fire is back again, complete with a “heil Hitler” so we can remember how evil he is. Indy starts digging for the ark.
During the commercial break I did a little light housekeeping so I might have missed some Indy tie-in commercials. During the commercial the guys in the movie did a lot of digging and now they’ve found something. Inside are tons of snakes. If you remember from the beginning of the movie, Indy just hates snakes. He just hates them. And you know what, so do I. So my notes on this section of the movie are going to be a little fuzzy, because if I watch something about snakes, then I will likely dream about snakes tonight and then I will wake up thinking that snakes are all over me, and I will freak out.
The bad guys are making Marion put on a pretty dress. Isn’t it kind of amazing how well it fits? If I were held captive and they gave me a dress to put on, I really don’t think it would fit and I’d have to have dinner with the bad guys in a dress that wouldn’t zip. How embarrassing. All right snake related stuff is going on so I am just going to do some distracting things on the internet.
Okay now I am back and can only hope I didn’t miss anything too important. The bad guy with the burnt hand is back. Outside my apartment the wind is blowing hard as if it can sense the evil inside. A storm is brewing. I can see a bug out there. The Nazis find Indy and take his treasure yet again. They throw Marion into the pit of snakes with Indy. If I didn’t know there were three more movies after this, I would assume this was the end of Indiana Jones.
Because we all mourn in our own way and because I’m scared of snakes I left the room for a bit to let these kids get themselves free and work out their relationship issues. I worked on some laundry related stuff instead. When I come back out, Indy is fist-fighting a guy against the backdrop of a swastika-emblazoned plane. Marion is in a plane machine-gunning guys. I know I should be rooting for Marion, but on this viewing, I just feel like she’s more trouble than she’s worth.
One of the bad guys really lost his head. Because a propeller sawed it off.
Indy finds out he can still get the ark, which is in a truck. He gets on a horse. A commercial comes on. A commercial comes on for men’s hair color and it involves a robot voice which may be a commercial specially made for the SciFi channel. Now Indy’s back and ditched the horse at some point that I must not have been paying attention for. Now they’re in vehicles. They’re like racing and bumping into things and falling in the water and off cliffs and stuff. Look I know we’re only two hours into this thing but I might need a nap soon.
So now we’re back, and Indy is drinking with that monkey and he thinks his woman is dead. Then things get worse because he meets up with that guy who stole the idol at the beginning, Belloq. Belloq is a damn dirty Nazi. Small children save Indy from an escalating war of words with Belloq. That monkey gets in the car with them and that can mean nothing but trouble…unless the monkey gets hungry, eats a poisoned date, and thus saves Indy from death. Turns out that’s what happens. “Bad dates,” the man says.
Now they’re at the dig site and Indy is sneaking around doing archaeologist things. Turns out he is there just at the right time of day to make some important discoveries. I am going to eat two Oreos to celebrate. Then Indy finds out that Marion is still alive. I guess I better make that three Oreos. Then Indy makes the good decision to leave her tied up so he can find the Ark.
Uh-oh, that creepy guy that doesn’t like fire is back again, complete with a “heil Hitler” so we can remember how evil he is. Indy starts digging for the ark.
During the commercial break I did a little light housekeeping so I might have missed some Indy tie-in commercials. During the commercial the guys in the movie did a lot of digging and now they’ve found something. Inside are tons of snakes. If you remember from the beginning of the movie, Indy just hates snakes. He just hates them. And you know what, so do I. So my notes on this section of the movie are going to be a little fuzzy, because if I watch something about snakes, then I will likely dream about snakes tonight and then I will wake up thinking that snakes are all over me, and I will freak out.
The bad guys are making Marion put on a pretty dress. Isn’t it kind of amazing how well it fits? If I were held captive and they gave me a dress to put on, I really don’t think it would fit and I’d have to have dinner with the bad guys in a dress that wouldn’t zip. How embarrassing. All right snake related stuff is going on so I am just going to do some distracting things on the internet.
Okay now I am back and can only hope I didn’t miss anything too important. The bad guy with the burnt hand is back. Outside my apartment the wind is blowing hard as if it can sense the evil inside. A storm is brewing. I can see a bug out there. The Nazis find Indy and take his treasure yet again. They throw Marion into the pit of snakes with Indy. If I didn’t know there were three more movies after this, I would assume this was the end of Indiana Jones.
Because we all mourn in our own way and because I’m scared of snakes I left the room for a bit to let these kids get themselves free and work out their relationship issues. I worked on some laundry related stuff instead. When I come back out, Indy is fist-fighting a guy against the backdrop of a swastika-emblazoned plane. Marion is in a plane machine-gunning guys. I know I should be rooting for Marion, but on this viewing, I just feel like she’s more trouble than she’s worth.
One of the bad guys really lost his head. Because a propeller sawed it off.
Indy finds out he can still get the ark, which is in a truck. He gets on a horse. A commercial comes on. A commercial comes on for men’s hair color and it involves a robot voice which may be a commercial specially made for the SciFi channel. Now Indy’s back and ditched the horse at some point that I must not have been paying attention for. Now they’re in vehicles. They’re like racing and bumping into things and falling in the water and off cliffs and stuff. Look I know we’re only two hours into this thing but I might need a nap soon.
Indiana Jones Hour One: The Adventure Begins
So perhaps you’ve noticed that we’re halfway through May and I’ve only posted twice. Something I learned in February, though, when the Academy Awards were on, is that if you watch some sort of television event, and post all your thoughts on it hourly, then you can generate a lot of posts. So today I am going to blog my watching of all three Indiana Jones movies, which are being shown today on the SciFi channel in preparation for the new Indiana Jones that is coming out soon.
So not only will I increase my posting, I will provide a public service for everyone who wants to get ready for the new movie but does not have the time to sit down and watch the first three movies themselves. I myself have only vague memories of what happens in which movies.
So to set the scene, it is 1 pm on a Sunday. I just got out of the shower and I have never watched anything on the SciFi channel before so I am pretty excited about that. It is a little overcast and if it were nicer I’d probably be out on my deck. But then we would be deprived the hours of fun that we’re about to have.
So while I was typing all that we had the opening credits of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and Indiana Jones, who is played by Harrison Ford in case you don’t know, is about to go into a cave. A poison dart has indicated that enemies are fresh on these explorers’ trail. Now they’re in the cave and they have spiders all over them! Then they discovered a skeleton. This is a very scary cave. I hope they get what they want out of it and that there are no double crosses amongst this staff.
Okay, so what he wants is a golden head. He takes it and makes the gods angry. Oh crap. There is a double cross by his assistant, who is going to take the idol and leave Indiana Jones to die. OH NO EXCEPT HE DIED.
Now there is a big ball chasing Indy. He survives only to have the idol taken away. Then he is chased by a native tribe with firm asses and poison darts. He swims to his waiting plane but it has a snake in it. This guy is having a Very Bad Day.
Perhaps what he needs is a roast beef sandwich and some potato salad, which is what I made myself during the commercial break. We come back to the movie to see Indy teaching a class that is full of young women who just find him dreamy. Including a girl who wrote “Love You” on her eyelids.
Now Indy is in a meeting about the damn dirty Nazis, who are trying to get all the world’s religious artifacts. Indy immediately gathers that the damn dirty Nazis are after the ark of the covenant. This part of the movie is kinda important so that you know the significance of what they’re after but I’m a little too busy with my sandwich to type it all out.
So now Indy has got to get the ark before the damn dirty Nazis. He’s going to have to find his old mentor, who knows more about it than he does. He packs his suitcase with a jacket, a whip and a gun. So I guess we shouldn’t expect too many costume changes in this movie.
Okay I am finished with lunch so I’ll be able to focus a little more. Indy is getting on a plane but someone treacherous is on board with him. You can tell by the ominous music and the way he peers at Indy from behind a Life magazine. Only badasses read Life.
Actually I bet that guy can’t even read.
A line that shows the airplane’s progress lets us know that we have flown to Nepal, where there is a drinking contest taking place. This scene kinda scared me when I was little because you know the part where Karen Allen falls asleep and people think she is done? I got really worried for her, like maybe she was seriously injured. I just looked it up on IMDB and Karen Allen was 30 when she made this movie. This really relieves me. I was scared that she’d be my age or younger in this movie, and then I’d have to question how my life was going. What if she were my age and had already been in an Indiana Jones movie? That would make me feel just awful.
So now Marion is alone in her bar and she has Indy’s money and the artifact he is looking for in her shirt. Now treacherous guy is here. He has a German accent so that should be an immediate tip-off that this guy is going to be a damn dirty Nazi, albeit a wimpy one who can’t stomach cigarette smoke. The guy threatens her with a hot iron but I have a hunch that Indy will save her…and yep there he is. Unfortunately it will be a race against time because that hot iron has also set the bar on fire. Now people are getting set on fire and getting shot and it is really intense. The German gets his hand burned by the artifact. That guy really needs to learn to deal with fire.
Now Marion, who’s bar has been burned to the ground, is going to tag along with Indy because she has the medallion. What I predict is that she is going to be more of a liability than a help. Now they are in Cairo and Marion’s first act as Indy’s partner is to acquire a monkey. See what I mean about being a liability? What are the chances this monkey will ever be anything but a burden or perhaps lead to disaster?
Marion is rocking some high-waisted red pants as she and Indy stroll through a market and eat dates. The monkey finds a guy with an eye patch and the two of them start following Indy and Marion. They are bantering cutely unaware of all the people after them. Now a fight has broken out in the market. Indy puts Marion on a hay cart where she belongs but she escapes and tries to fight off a guy with a frying pan. Then she hides in a basket but the monkey finds her and betrays her location. I coulda told her that monkey was a mistake.
Did you know Barack Obama had a monkey when he lived in Indonesia?
One day Harrison Ford was sick and instead of filming a big long whip fight, he just ended up shooting the guy. They just had that scene. Also did you know that Tom Selleck was up for the role of Indiana Jones and couldn’t get out of his Magnum PI contract? HOW WOULD OUR WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF TOM SELLECK HAD BEEN INDIANA JONES?????? Let’s all ponder that as hour one of watching Indiana Jones comes to an end.
So not only will I increase my posting, I will provide a public service for everyone who wants to get ready for the new movie but does not have the time to sit down and watch the first three movies themselves. I myself have only vague memories of what happens in which movies.
So to set the scene, it is 1 pm on a Sunday. I just got out of the shower and I have never watched anything on the SciFi channel before so I am pretty excited about that. It is a little overcast and if it were nicer I’d probably be out on my deck. But then we would be deprived the hours of fun that we’re about to have.
So while I was typing all that we had the opening credits of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and Indiana Jones, who is played by Harrison Ford in case you don’t know, is about to go into a cave. A poison dart has indicated that enemies are fresh on these explorers’ trail. Now they’re in the cave and they have spiders all over them! Then they discovered a skeleton. This is a very scary cave. I hope they get what they want out of it and that there are no double crosses amongst this staff.
Okay, so what he wants is a golden head. He takes it and makes the gods angry. Oh crap. There is a double cross by his assistant, who is going to take the idol and leave Indiana Jones to die. OH NO EXCEPT HE DIED.
Now there is a big ball chasing Indy. He survives only to have the idol taken away. Then he is chased by a native tribe with firm asses and poison darts. He swims to his waiting plane but it has a snake in it. This guy is having a Very Bad Day.
Perhaps what he needs is a roast beef sandwich and some potato salad, which is what I made myself during the commercial break. We come back to the movie to see Indy teaching a class that is full of young women who just find him dreamy. Including a girl who wrote “Love You” on her eyelids.
Now Indy is in a meeting about the damn dirty Nazis, who are trying to get all the world’s religious artifacts. Indy immediately gathers that the damn dirty Nazis are after the ark of the covenant. This part of the movie is kinda important so that you know the significance of what they’re after but I’m a little too busy with my sandwich to type it all out.
So now Indy has got to get the ark before the damn dirty Nazis. He’s going to have to find his old mentor, who knows more about it than he does. He packs his suitcase with a jacket, a whip and a gun. So I guess we shouldn’t expect too many costume changes in this movie.
Okay I am finished with lunch so I’ll be able to focus a little more. Indy is getting on a plane but someone treacherous is on board with him. You can tell by the ominous music and the way he peers at Indy from behind a Life magazine. Only badasses read Life.
Actually I bet that guy can’t even read.
A line that shows the airplane’s progress lets us know that we have flown to Nepal, where there is a drinking contest taking place. This scene kinda scared me when I was little because you know the part where Karen Allen falls asleep and people think she is done? I got really worried for her, like maybe she was seriously injured. I just looked it up on IMDB and Karen Allen was 30 when she made this movie. This really relieves me. I was scared that she’d be my age or younger in this movie, and then I’d have to question how my life was going. What if she were my age and had already been in an Indiana Jones movie? That would make me feel just awful.
So now Marion is alone in her bar and she has Indy’s money and the artifact he is looking for in her shirt. Now treacherous guy is here. He has a German accent so that should be an immediate tip-off that this guy is going to be a damn dirty Nazi, albeit a wimpy one who can’t stomach cigarette smoke. The guy threatens her with a hot iron but I have a hunch that Indy will save her…and yep there he is. Unfortunately it will be a race against time because that hot iron has also set the bar on fire. Now people are getting set on fire and getting shot and it is really intense. The German gets his hand burned by the artifact. That guy really needs to learn to deal with fire.
Now Marion, who’s bar has been burned to the ground, is going to tag along with Indy because she has the medallion. What I predict is that she is going to be more of a liability than a help. Now they are in Cairo and Marion’s first act as Indy’s partner is to acquire a monkey. See what I mean about being a liability? What are the chances this monkey will ever be anything but a burden or perhaps lead to disaster?
Marion is rocking some high-waisted red pants as she and Indy stroll through a market and eat dates. The monkey finds a guy with an eye patch and the two of them start following Indy and Marion. They are bantering cutely unaware of all the people after them. Now a fight has broken out in the market. Indy puts Marion on a hay cart where she belongs but she escapes and tries to fight off a guy with a frying pan. Then she hides in a basket but the monkey finds her and betrays her location. I coulda told her that monkey was a mistake.
Did you know Barack Obama had a monkey when he lived in Indonesia?
One day Harrison Ford was sick and instead of filming a big long whip fight, he just ended up shooting the guy. They just had that scene. Also did you know that Tom Selleck was up for the role of Indiana Jones and couldn’t get out of his Magnum PI contract? HOW WOULD OUR WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF TOM SELLECK HAD BEEN INDIANA JONES?????? Let’s all ponder that as hour one of watching Indiana Jones comes to an end.
Monday, May 12, 2008
squeaky voices
Well, I have been to a few concerts lately and I thought I should do a concert blog. I must admit that I’ve had writers block about this post because it’s the first concert blog since my brother did an excellent write-up about a Tom Russell concert he went to, and I can’t think of anything that’s gonna make this one as good. But here we go anyways.
First up, a show last week with Amy LaVere and Langhorne Slim. Wikipedia describes Amy Lavere’s music as “a blend of classic country, gypsy jazz, and southern soul,” but we all know that we can’t always trust Wikipedia, primarily because they used a comma after the second item in a repeating series and according to AP style, that shouldn’t be done. Wikipedia also notes that she has been in movies, including “Walk the Line” (as Wanda Jackson) and “Black Snake Moan”.
I have a copy of Amy LaVere’s latest album which is called “Anchors and Anvils,” which starts with a song about killing one’s lover and features on the cover a picture of Amy Lavere holding a sparkly gun. I need to get a gun like that. A sparkly one. That’s the kind of gun I could cling to in these times when I’m bitter. In concert Amy plays an upright bass and that also looked pretty bad-ass.
I found Langhorne Slim’s CD in the Seattle Public Library a few years ago and I had never heard of the guy but I couldn’t resist this cover:
So I borrowed the CD from the library and have always liked it. There are some songs on there that are good for jumping around. But he’s way better in concert. I would go so far as to say he is kick-ass in concert. Wikipedia does not provide a description of the music as it does for Amy Lavere (it does offer the fun facts that his real name is Sean Scolnick and his birthday is August 20) so all I can do is offer you this video to see for yourself: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zehZX3UJKOY. I think he’s going somewhere, so much so that when I was standing behind him at the bar, I contemplated stealing the receipt that he’d just signed. But I didn’t.
So if you watched the video, you might notice that he has kind of a squeaky voice. So did Amy Lavere in her little between-song banter. But in my house, the ultimate in squeaky voices is Nanci Griffith, who has inspired my parents to go around the house saying “thank you very much” or “thank you kindly” in high voices. Cause that’s what Nanci Griffith does. She used to teach kindergarten and my dad thinks she never really lost that high-voiced way of talking to children. Just in her talking, not so much in the singing.
Anyways, this weekend I went to Black Mountain, NC with my dad to see Nanci Griffith at the LEAF Festival. I think LEAF stands for L’hippie E’hippie A’hippie F’hippie. I’m just kidding, hippies. You’re all nice people, it’s just that there were an awful lot of you at the LEAF festival, and most of you had spent the previous two days camping together. I just wasn’t ready for all of you. Sorry I didn’t make it for the drum circle. I just came for Nanci.
Nanci put on a great show despite very heavy winds (tornados were ripping across the state), a hand injury that left her unable to play the guitar (for only the second show in her life, she said) and barbeque smoke that would sometimes render her unable to sing or speak. According to her, every time she turned to one side of the stage, the smoke from the nearby concession stands would go down her throat. Maybe it was the smoke, but she didn’t sound as squeaky this time.
But this barbeque smoke had a benefit for me, because I was sitting on the other side of the concession stands, so she was looking over my way a lot. I’d like to think we made eye contact and created a sort of mind meld. I was commanding her with my mind meld to play “Across the Great Divide” and that happened, so all I can say is watch out, I think I might have discovered some mind meld capabilities.
Nanci has this song called “It’s a Hard Life Wherever You Go” and she said that if she has her way in November, she’ll stop singing the song because Barack Obama will make everything better. Dad said that was a good enough reason for him not to vote for Barack Obama because he would rather she keep singing the song. It is a good song, but I don’t know why Nanci Griffith’s endorsement is not enough for my dad to support Barack Obama. Doesn’t he know that celebrity endorsements are supposed to decide things for us? They’re like the super-super-delegates.
First up, a show last week with Amy LaVere and Langhorne Slim. Wikipedia describes Amy Lavere’s music as “a blend of classic country, gypsy jazz, and southern soul,” but we all know that we can’t always trust Wikipedia, primarily because they used a comma after the second item in a repeating series and according to AP style, that shouldn’t be done. Wikipedia also notes that she has been in movies, including “Walk the Line” (as Wanda Jackson) and “Black Snake Moan”.
I have a copy of Amy LaVere’s latest album which is called “Anchors and Anvils,” which starts with a song about killing one’s lover and features on the cover a picture of Amy Lavere holding a sparkly gun. I need to get a gun like that. A sparkly one. That’s the kind of gun I could cling to in these times when I’m bitter. In concert Amy plays an upright bass and that also looked pretty bad-ass.
I found Langhorne Slim’s CD in the Seattle Public Library a few years ago and I had never heard of the guy but I couldn’t resist this cover:
So I borrowed the CD from the library and have always liked it. There are some songs on there that are good for jumping around. But he’s way better in concert. I would go so far as to say he is kick-ass in concert. Wikipedia does not provide a description of the music as it does for Amy Lavere (it does offer the fun facts that his real name is Sean Scolnick and his birthday is August 20) so all I can do is offer you this video to see for yourself: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zehZX3UJKOY. I think he’s going somewhere, so much so that when I was standing behind him at the bar, I contemplated stealing the receipt that he’d just signed. But I didn’t.So if you watched the video, you might notice that he has kind of a squeaky voice. So did Amy Lavere in her little between-song banter. But in my house, the ultimate in squeaky voices is Nanci Griffith, who has inspired my parents to go around the house saying “thank you very much” or “thank you kindly” in high voices. Cause that’s what Nanci Griffith does. She used to teach kindergarten and my dad thinks she never really lost that high-voiced way of talking to children. Just in her talking, not so much in the singing.
Anyways, this weekend I went to Black Mountain, NC with my dad to see Nanci Griffith at the LEAF Festival. I think LEAF stands for L’hippie E’hippie A’hippie F’hippie. I’m just kidding, hippies. You’re all nice people, it’s just that there were an awful lot of you at the LEAF festival, and most of you had spent the previous two days camping together. I just wasn’t ready for all of you. Sorry I didn’t make it for the drum circle. I just came for Nanci.
Nanci put on a great show despite very heavy winds (tornados were ripping across the state), a hand injury that left her unable to play the guitar (for only the second show in her life, she said) and barbeque smoke that would sometimes render her unable to sing or speak. According to her, every time she turned to one side of the stage, the smoke from the nearby concession stands would go down her throat. Maybe it was the smoke, but she didn’t sound as squeaky this time.
But this barbeque smoke had a benefit for me, because I was sitting on the other side of the concession stands, so she was looking over my way a lot. I’d like to think we made eye contact and created a sort of mind meld. I was commanding her with my mind meld to play “Across the Great Divide” and that happened, so all I can say is watch out, I think I might have discovered some mind meld capabilities.
Nanci has this song called “It’s a Hard Life Wherever You Go” and she said that if she has her way in November, she’ll stop singing the song because Barack Obama will make everything better. Dad said that was a good enough reason for him not to vote for Barack Obama because he would rather she keep singing the song. It is a good song, but I don’t know why Nanci Griffith’s endorsement is not enough for my dad to support Barack Obama. Doesn’t he know that celebrity endorsements are supposed to decide things for us? They’re like the super-super-delegates.
Monday, May 5, 2008
fish sticks
I thought everyone might like an update on my fish, Alvin. Yesterday was our two-week anniversary. We’ve had some highs and lows (mostly lows) but we are finally finding our footing. Here is a review of our time together:
--In the first few days after I brought Alvin home I was wracked with tremendous guilt. What if the next person in the pet store was going to take him home to a gigantic 1000 gallon aquarium? He would have had a much more exciting life than being stuck in a little bowl. I did not think he looked very happy in the bowl.
--For most of the past two weeks I have been convinced that Alvin is blind, because he would come right up near his fish food, and he would open his mouth like he was going to eat, but he would always miss the food. I didn’t see him eat something until yesterday. Maybe he thought I was trying to poison him.
--Alvin seems to have figured out that my current fear in life is coming home from work and finding him dead. So he’s developed a hilarious routine where he hovers near the top of the bowl and does not move even a gill. I freak out because I think he has died. Then he moves again. That’s so funny, Alvin. So funny.
--Last week I had to change Alvin’s water and it really caused some trust issues between us. I guess it caused him some trauma and he got very skittish whenever I was nearby. We are doing a little better now but I will probably have to change his water again soon. I fear it will be a vicious cycle.
--He has this little frog in the tank with him who is supposed to serve as decoration. I think they might be having an affair. Alvin is obsessed with that frog.
--Alvin continues to be a very good swimmer and he shows off his big flashy tail a lot. Right now he is swimming up on the side of the bowl like maybe eventually he’ll find a way out.
I guess that’s about it. In conclusion, I’d like to thank my brother George, who used to work in a pet store and has had to answer a lot of questions about fish. Also when I called him to wish him happy birthday, I had a minor freakout that Alvin was dead. I hope that didn’t ruin your birthday, George. It turns out he wasn’t dead.
--In the first few days after I brought Alvin home I was wracked with tremendous guilt. What if the next person in the pet store was going to take him home to a gigantic 1000 gallon aquarium? He would have had a much more exciting life than being stuck in a little bowl. I did not think he looked very happy in the bowl.
--For most of the past two weeks I have been convinced that Alvin is blind, because he would come right up near his fish food, and he would open his mouth like he was going to eat, but he would always miss the food. I didn’t see him eat something until yesterday. Maybe he thought I was trying to poison him.
--Alvin seems to have figured out that my current fear in life is coming home from work and finding him dead. So he’s developed a hilarious routine where he hovers near the top of the bowl and does not move even a gill. I freak out because I think he has died. Then he moves again. That’s so funny, Alvin. So funny.
--Last week I had to change Alvin’s water and it really caused some trust issues between us. I guess it caused him some trauma and he got very skittish whenever I was nearby. We are doing a little better now but I will probably have to change his water again soon. I fear it will be a vicious cycle.
--He has this little frog in the tank with him who is supposed to serve as decoration. I think they might be having an affair. Alvin is obsessed with that frog.
--Alvin continues to be a very good swimmer and he shows off his big flashy tail a lot. Right now he is swimming up on the side of the bowl like maybe eventually he’ll find a way out.
I guess that’s about it. In conclusion, I’d like to thank my brother George, who used to work in a pet store and has had to answer a lot of questions about fish. Also when I called him to wish him happy birthday, I had a minor freakout that Alvin was dead. I hope that didn’t ruin your birthday, George. It turns out he wasn’t dead.
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