Saturday

Last night, I went to a bar to celebrate a friend's birthday. Unfortunately, the bar was also celebrating Valentine's Day...by marking single people differently.

What happened is we walked, inadvertantly, into a singles mixer that was predominantly for Boeing and Microsoft employees, from what I understand. They put heart stickers on the single people, so that others could tell who to hit on. They showed a slideshow of local singles. As a friend pointed out of the slideshow, all the boys were shown in outside situations such as skiing, hiking, etc, while all the girls were shown humping things. They announced the singles calendar, ie, a single woman was Miss January, a single man was Mr. February, and so on and so forth. This presentation was presided over by a woman who called herself Seattle's Social Coordinator, who I later saw grinding on the dance floor with Mr. August.

Then, as if I couldn't hate Valentine's Day anymore, the social coordinator started throwing Hershey's Kisses into the crowd, and I got beaned in the back of the head with one. I hate love.