a top ten list, in two parts

So far on this epic cruise recap, I have mostly detailed what my parents and I did on our trips off the boat. However, we did spend the majority of this trip on a boat. In fact, the entire last day was just a day at sea. But time at sea is never boring. Oh my, no. There is so much to do on board, including the trivia challenges that I mentioned yesterday. There’s so much that you can’t even do it all – for example, we didn’t really hit up the casino, the dance clubs or the mini golf course. But I did compile a top 10 list of things that we did do aboard our cruise ship. However, I am going to break the list into two parts, because now that I’m blogging every day I don’t want to run out of material too fast. So here’s the first five:

1. Eat
This one is pretty obvious. Cruise ships are famous for the amount of food that they carry on board, and I certainly was not disappointed in this respect. As soon as we got on the boat we were sent up to the ninth floor of the ship, which had various eating stations as well as a full buffet. You know a trip will be good if you get fresh-carved roast beef within an hour. And then have a fancy dinner just a few hours later. I can’t even remember all the things I ate on this boat, but they included lobster tail, a ooey gooey warm chocolate cake, a Mexican midnight buffet, steak, eggs benedict, fried chicken and several types of breakfast meat. I probably should have taken more copious notes on all I consumed, but it would likely make me feel bad now. I have gained weight, y’all. I have been wearing fat pants since I got back. I am trying to exercise, but unfortunately, I still get hungry every 2.5 hours, which was roughly the feeding schedule I was on during the cruise.

2. Drink
I guess one follows the other. Now, my parents and I didn’t go as crazy as some of the people did on this traveling bar, but I think we did a respectable bit. Every day, Mom and I got the specialty cocktail, which came in this cute cruise cup of which I now have a set of 4 (Mom has the other half). These are the kinds of cocktails that have numerous types of fruit on the edge of the glass, as well as an umbrella. They were usually pink. We also had delicious mojitos and ice cold beer. Dad drank wine. And at the cocktail reception that was thrown by the captain, I had champagne and a lime daiquiri. That captain, he throws a good party. His name was Giuseppe. We learned that because on the first day the televisions in the room have a video that shows on repeat in which Giuseppe tells you how important it is to take part in the life jacket safety drill. We did do that, but it’s not going to merit its own entry on the list.

3. Watch the Academy Awards
Speaking of having televisions in the room, I was able to see an hour or so of the crown jewel in my annual television watching schedule, the Oscars. No doubt many of my readers were disappointed that I was not around to type drunken thoughts on the event this year, but frankly, I am glad I was on a boat and not in front of the computer. For the obvious reasons that being on a boat is far superior to being in front of a computer, but also because from the little that I saw, the Oscars sucked. Everything was too predictable, and I definitely did not like the feature where past winners came out to announce the nominees. It was too uneven; some presenters loved their nominees, while others didn’t even know who they were. It made me uncomfortable.

4. Fend Off Paparazzi
Much like the celebrities at the Academy Awards, I spent day after day having my picture taken even when I didn’t really want it. Cruise lines employ all these photographers, some of whom are stationed to photograph you at the most inopportune moment, such as when you’re stepping off a boat and getting wind all in your hair. Or when you’re trying to juggle all your travel documents before you get on a boat. Or when you’re eating dinner and they want to bring a pirate around to everyone’s table. It was an awful lot of photography, it seemed to me. But it was still fun to walk through the photo gallery and look for yourself amidst all the photos, even if it was only to cringe at how bad the photos turned out.

5. Waterslide!
One moment that I prayerfully hope wasn’t captured on film was the time I spent walking around in my bathing suit after four days of cruise eating. But I had to do it so I could spend some time in the hot tub and go on the waterslide! My dad went on the waterslide as well. We made three trips on that waterslide, along with several little kids. If a waterslide can entertain everyone from children to grownups, then I think that’s a pretty good waterslide.