sorry, God.

As I wrote yesterday, God has definitively shown me that I cannot steal the Chick-fil-a cows without risking some sort of trouble with the police. So I just want to let God know that when I pulled into the parking lot of an adult entertainment place this morning at 8:30 a.m. to take a picture of the cows, it was not because I was in any way casing the joint or planning any future crimes. These pictures are just for my records.

Here are the cows that consume me. Can't you hear them calling out to me? Because I can. I hear them begging to be taken down and put in my car (or a flatbed truck, should I decide to use one for the purpose of transportation and also for the purpose of not having my actual license plates possibly photographed).

Those cows call my name. Even now, 15 minutes away and 15 stories high, I can hear their pleading moos.

But as I said, I AM DEFINITELY NOT PLANNING ON STEALING THEM. Even though they are located very low to the ground, as I have mentioned and as I captured in this photograph.

And yes, now that you mention it, it would be very easy to use the roof of that building as a staging area for my hijinks. But unfortunately, I am absolutely, most definitely, without a question, not going to steal those cows. No matter how good they would look in my apartment, I will not do it. Not even the prospect of silencing all the voices in my head that talk to me about cows would motivate me to steal anything off that billboard. If I say it enough times, I shall believe it: I WILL NOT STEAL THE CHICK-FIL-A COWS.