some cat correspondence

Remember when I posted the absolutely adorable picture of my dad’s fourth child…I mean, my dad’s cat eating a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich? No? Well, then you should go here and scroll to the bottom to review one of my favorite pictures of all-time: http://iwiggleitjustalittlebit.blogspot.com/2008/12/fiery-tempered-king.html

I guess Barack Obama reads my blog, and he found a Skinny Cow coupon in his Shape magazine a few weeks ago, and he mailed it to Tiki in a card that had dogs sitting in front of the White House. This is the letter he enclosed:

Dear Tiki,
You may have read in the press that I am looking for a new dog for the White House. A few options are indeed on the front of this card. However, I don't want the cats of our great country to think that I am forgetting about them. For we are not just red states or blue states, not just cat lovers or dog lovers, we are the United States and we embrace all pets. Even those that belong to men who voted for John McCain.

Tiki, perhaps you have been watching the news and have been wondering just how my economic plan will benefit you. Well, for cats like you, I have included a Skinny Cow stimulus. If you love Skinny Cows, then I am bailing you out! Enclosed please find a coupon for a delicious Skinny Cow treat. Yes we can…enjoy ice cream!

Also, Tiki, I hope you will remember in these hard times to be nice to all siblings, particularly your sister Molly. To truly move forward, we need to reach across party lines and embrace those who we may not want to embrace. It is time to put away childish things and stop scratching her so much.

Tiki, for me to continue my goal of sending Skinny Cow coupons to all cats, I'll need your help. Please consider a donation of $5 to me now. You can send it to Molly.

Love from your friend,
Barack Obama


So when I was home this past weekend, Dad showed me the reply that Tiki had been working on in the meantime. She is one smart cat, I guess:


Dear Mr. President Barack Obama,
Thank you for my stimulus Skinny Cow coupon. I appreciate your attempt at a bailout, however, I think you are definitely not thinking big enough. We need a full-fledged Skinny Cow program. We need to give each American a Skinny Cow. We also need to give each person in the world a Skinny Cow. Everyone would love them. Production and jobs would increase as would sales tax receipts.

In the world people would love them too! Your poor half brother from Kenya would love them. It would lead to third world development. They would need electricity, freezers, delivery trucks..all of which we would hope they would buy from America. This would further help our economy.

People would also be so happy – there would probably be no more wars as long as each country had an adequate supply of Skinny Cows! My plan would lead to full employment and world peace.

As to the dogs, you are not being fair to cats! What about Socks? Cats are self-sufficient. Dogs need to be walked. Do you really expect Sasha and Malia to do this? Kids won’t do it. Just check with George and William. They didn’t do squat when they had a dog. Remember: Cats are cool, dogs drool.

As to Molly – she attacks me on a regular basis. She needs to be nicer to me. But in an effort to help her work through her own aggressive problem, I am enclosing a “Cats for Obama” button your campaign sent me. I backed McCain and could not wear it. You can give it to her. I will attempt to get $5.00 from her and then I’ll see about sending some money to you. The way you are spending it, the government will need it and we poor catspayers won’t have it too much longer.

Your friend and worthy opponent,
Tiki