The Goat Who Thought He Was a Dog, Version 7

Little Lorraine had a pet goat named Frank, who thought he was a dog. One thing that Frank was particularly good at was learning tricks. He could roll over, say hello, bleat on command, and fetch. Little Lorraine even taught Frank how to jump rope, and she showed him off at school talent shows and county fairs. People would come for miles to see Frank the Jump-Roping Goat. He won blue ribbons and trophies and made Little Lorraine oh-so-happy.

One summer, Lorraine went off to jump rope camp, to learn more techniques and tricks to teach to Frank, and also because her mother was worried that she spent too much time with her pet goat.

Without Lorraine, the goat became bored. He hopped around the yard, but it was boring to do so without Lorraine holding a jump rope for him. He tried to do some training exercises so that Lorraine would not be disappointed in his physique when she returned, but he was really lacking in motivation.

Then one day, Frank the Goat who Thought He Was a Dog, (a.k.a. Frank the Jump-Roping Goat) spied a jump rope in the sky. “It’s higher than I’m used to,” he must have thought (assuming that goats can form logical thoughts), “but it’s the only chance I have to really practice.”

Frank positioned himself under that giant jump rope, took a deep breath, and jumped. And that is how Frank the Goat became tangled in the clothes line and died.

The next year, Lorraine went to cheerleading camp.