List of characters
Giorgio Vasari, born July 30, 1511
Thorstein Veblen, born July 30, 1857
Emily Brontë, born July 30, 1818
Henry Ford, born July 30, 1863
Delta Burke, born July 30, 1956
Setting: the Catherine Palace, Russia
(The stage is dark. A great clatter is heard. Lights come up on Giorgio Vasari and Thorstein Veblin in the Amber Room . They stand up, look around, brush themselves off)
Giorgio Vasari: Eh, looks like it’s Russia again, Vebby my boy.
Thorstein Veblen: Harumph. Conspicuous consumption, if you ask me.
Giorgio Vasari: True. But you must admit, it’s one of our finer options for our birthday party. I hope we don’t have any new attendees this year. I quite tire of explaining the very simple concept that brings us all together each year.
Thorstein Veblen: You mean the alteration of the time-space continuum that allows all notable figures who were born on the same day to gather for a birthday party in a location that must have also hosted a notable event on that day?
Giorgio Vasari: Yes, that! So simple, really.
Thorstein Veblen: I think you just tire of explaining who you are to newcomers.
Giorgio Vasari: Well, of course! Everyone should know me! I am revered among all serious art history students for Le vite delle piu eccellenti pittori, scultori, ed architettori. Where would art be without me? I was friends with Michelangelo for Pete’s sake!
Thorstein Veblen: At least you don’t have to try to explain evolutionary economics.
Giorgio Vasari: We should be okay as long as that dreadful Delta Burke doesn’t show up.
Thorstein Veblen: Agreed. I don’t know how she does it though. The only people who are allowed to pass through the continuum are dead.
(Emily Bronte enters, forlornly)
Thorstein Veblen and Giorgio Vasari (together): Happy birthday, Emily!
Emily Brontë: Oh, hello boys. Happy birthday to you.
Thorstein Veblen: What have you been up to Emily?
Emily Brontë: Oh same old, same old. Wandering on the moors.
(Henry Ford drives in; the radio is playing “Bangledesh” by George Harrison)
Henry Ford: Beep beep!
Thorstein Veblen (dancing and singing along to Bangladesh): You know, if there’s a better song that was released this day, I certainly don’t know what it is.
Emily Brontë: I rather liked it in 1792 when 500 men in Marseilles sang France’s national anthem for the first time.
Giorgio Vasari: I hate the French. I must, for I am Italian.
Henry Ford: Is Schwarzenegger here yet?
Giorgio Vasari: No, he is governor of California if you can believe it. 60 today.
Henry Ford: Any sign of Delta?
Giorgio Vasari: Not yet.
Thorstein Veblen: Talk about conspicuous consumption!
Emily Brontë: I am chilly here.
Giorgio Vasari: You are chilly everywhere.
Emily Brontë: I like to wander on moors.
Henry Ford: We’re all aware, Emily. The playwright did not care much for your book when she read it in high school, and so it seems that wandering on moors is doomed to be your only character development in this ongoing play.
Thorstein Veblen: At least she read your book. She just scanned my Wikipedia entry to refresh her memory on me.
Henry Ford: I think she’s ambivalent to me. She drives a Toyota.
Giorgio Vasari: Well, she just loves me! She had to cite me all the time in her renaissance class in Italy!
Emily Brontë: I can’t wait until Kate Bush comes. Her first single was called “Wuthering Heights.” She will understand me. Kate is 49 today.
Henry Ford: Now, what happened here again?
Giorgio Vasari: On this day in 1756, the architect presented this palace to Empress Elizabeth. Now people come and wait in line forever to see the restored Amber Room. They get let in for fifteen minutes and try to take as many pictures as possible before they’re kicked out again. That is certainly not how we treat people at my buildings. My buildings include the loggia of the Palazzo degli Uffizi, and renovations of Santa Maria Novella and Santa Croce.
Henry Ford: Er, right. Well, this is certainly cheerier than that birthday party in 1839 aboard the Amistad! Or the 1870 party aboard the burning Staten Island Ferry.
Giorgio Vasari: True, true. All right, it looks as if we’re all here….
(loud boom. Smoke. Delta Burke enters. Everyone grimaces)
Delta Burke: Hello! I made it! My husband, Gerald McRaney and I were just vacationing in Russia and so I made it!
Thorstein Veblen: Well, hello Delta. We thought this year the continuum might actually be closed to you.
Delta Burke: Of course not! I’m a July 30th! The continuum always opens for me!
Henry Ford: But if you can make it, why can’t that Lisa Kudrow? She’s adorable.
Delta Burke: Have you eaten yet?
Giorgio Vasari: Let’s cut the cake. Just like all other years, it is the best birthday cake in the world, a Funfetti cake.
All: How lovely!
Delta Burke: Gerald McRaney, TV’s Major Dad, is in the car. He loves Funfetti cake.
Giorgio Vasari: Who doesn’t, Delta. But he can’t have any.
Delta Burke: He was also on Simon & Simon.
Giorgio Vasari: (Slams down cake knife) I am getting sick of discussing Gerald McRaney’s body of work every year! We have one day a year we get to gather, Delta! One day a year that some of the finest minds in history get to gather and talk, and instead of talking about my friendship with Michelangelo or amusing anecdotes that I made up about Giotto, we have to discuss Gerald McRaney! Do you even know who Cimabue is? Does Fra Filippo Lippi ring any bells for you? I coined the term Renaissance!
Delta Burke: Calm down, Giorgio. I understand you. After all, I am a Designing Woman myself. (giggles) Also, I was Miss Florida.
Emily Brontë (gets on all fours, arches back like a cow): Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooors.
Thorstein Veblen: This is a conspicuously consumptive conversation, if you ask me. Giorgio, cut the cake.
(they all eat in awkward silence)
Delta Burke: I like Russia better than I liked the birthday party we had in 579.
Giorgio Vasari (slamming the cake down) Don’t even start with me Delta.
Delta Burke: What? Who wants to eat Funfetti cake while watching a man die?
Giorgio Vasari: I do, if that man was Pope Benedict I. I can think of nothing more honorable than watching the end of a pope’s reign.
Delta Burke: But Giorgio, there was a famine. The Loopheads were destroying Italy.
Giorgio Vasari: It’s Lombards, you idiot.
Delta Burke: Plus, the scene just wasn’t very drawn out.
Giorgio Vasari: Well, there weren’t many records of that time, were there? The Lombards destroyed them!
(silence)
Delta Burke: You know, when Gerald McRaney and I were on vacation at the beach this year, I tried to read everyone’s books. (everyone looks up, expectantly) but I didn’t finish them. (everyone looks down again)
Emily Brontë: (finishing cake) This cake is so good that I want to wander on moors and then die of a broken heart.
Henry Ford: Well, if no one minds, I think I’m going to go see if I can go for a drive in Baltimore, founded this day in 1729.
Thorstein Veblen: Can I go with you can just say conspicuous consumption over and over?
Henry Ford: Of course, you’re the birthday boy! Emily, ride to the moors?
Emily Brontë: Yes, I want to go there and wander.
(they exit)
Delta Burke: Giorgio, I wasn’t trying to say that I didn’t want to be with the popes on my birthday.
Giorgio Vasari: What were you trying to say then?
Delta Burke: I liked the birthday party we had in 657, when St. Vitalian began his reign as pope.
Giorgio Vasari: You did?
Delta Burke: Of course! A pope involved in the monothelite controversy, and that Archbishop Maurus of Ravenna controversy! Why, People Magazine could not come up with anything juicier!
Giorgio Vasari: Oh, Delta, you do understand!
(they embrace)
Delta Burke: Oh Giorgio, it’s been so long.
Giorgio Vasari: About a year, my dear. How long do we have?
Delta Burke: Well, Gerald McRaney and I have plans to go the Hermitage and then to Patio Pizza.
Giorgio Vasari: Just a few minutes, then, my love. A few minutes with you, a true work of art, is all I need the whole year through.
(they kiss, and the lights go down)
The End
Monday, July 30, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
kickboxing
Well, I have not been getting too much hilarious spam e-mail lately. Plus, I have a stronger spam filter at work than I did when I started this blog, and it significantly minimizes the time I spend looking at my spam. The spam quarantine summary is always waiting for me when I get to work, and I just have to give it a glance, and delete it. The one thing I always notice is if someone is sending me spam from my own email address, or a very close variation of it. I think this is very clever of spammers, because it makes me sit up, take notice, and say, hey, what did I send myself?! And lately, I have been sending myself some interesting things. I wouldn't say they're hilarious and probably not interesting to anyone but me, but this spammer who has my name sends these weird combination of words that I find amusing. It's as if I am sending myself writing prompts or band names from the future.
Here are the ones I have gotten lately:
-linguistic toothache
-elusive diskette
-spartan fetishist
-financial cab driver
-ghastly philosopher
-polka-dotted bullfrog
-treacherous grizzly bear
-ghastly insurance agent
-polite crank case
-moldy tabloid
-mysterious pit viper
-linguistic freight train
And this one wasn't from me, it was from both Leona Saldana and Jeffrey Looney. The title is "Make your fat friends envy you." It was so petty, yet so appealing, that I couldn't help but stop on that one. If there is any group of people that I would like to envy me, it would be my fat friends. Followed closely by my skinny friends, as well as my friends of a medium weight. Sometimes I appreciate that spammers are clearly only trying to help me reach my full potential, be it related to my weight, my medications, my bank account or my penis size. But I appreciate it more when it's phrased in the way that Leona and Jeffrey put it---in petty, backhanded terms I can get behind.
Here are the ones I have gotten lately:
-linguistic toothache
-elusive diskette
-spartan fetishist
-financial cab driver
-ghastly philosopher
-polka-dotted bullfrog
-treacherous grizzly bear
-ghastly insurance agent
-polite crank case
-moldy tabloid
-mysterious pit viper
-linguistic freight train
And this one wasn't from me, it was from both Leona Saldana and Jeffrey Looney. The title is "Make your fat friends envy you." It was so petty, yet so appealing, that I couldn't help but stop on that one. If there is any group of people that I would like to envy me, it would be my fat friends. Followed closely by my skinny friends, as well as my friends of a medium weight. Sometimes I appreciate that spammers are clearly only trying to help me reach my full potential, be it related to my weight, my medications, my bank account or my penis size. But I appreciate it more when it's phrased in the way that Leona and Jeffrey put it---in petty, backhanded terms I can get behind.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Book #20: Me Talk Pretty One Day
The book: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
What is this book about: This book of essays explores things such as living in France, family, odd jobs, tourists, etc.
Why did I read this book: Because in anticipation of Harry Potter day, I started reading something last week that would be easy enough to put down so that I could focus on Harry.
But I should also probably mention why I didn’t read this book before now. Obviously, this book was popular several years ago, and I bought it several years ago. But I never read it, because of a deep, dark secret, one that I try to keep to myself during relevant conversations, because it seems to attract the same types of looks that telling people you don’t like dogs does. The secret is:
I did not think Naked was that funny.
I mean, I thought it was well-observed, and well-written, but it wasn’t the 24-hour laughfest I had been promised. I even took Naked on a flight and had second thoughts, because I had been told that I would laugh so hysterically, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself on the flight. But I didn’t need to worry, because I didn’t ever really laugh out loud. I thought some things were clever, and I thought some things were really tedious. But in all my conversations about this book, I’ve only found one other person who didn’t think that David Sedaris was an idol that we should be worshipping.
But I decided to give him another chance.
What did I think of this book: Well, I liked it better than Naked. But I didn’t laugh out loud. That seems to be the standard that everyone measures David Sedaris books by—how much they laughed. Even now, a glance of the back of the book just talks about laughing and laughing and laughing. I like to think I have a good sense of humor. Why was I not laughing?
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked any mention of Amy Sedaris, who I think, if I were given my druthers, would be the member of the Sedaris family that I would want to go out for drinks with.
What did I learn from this book: I have no sense of humor. I live a laughless life.
What grade do I give this book: B-
What is this book about: This book of essays explores things such as living in France, family, odd jobs, tourists, etc.
Why did I read this book: Because in anticipation of Harry Potter day, I started reading something last week that would be easy enough to put down so that I could focus on Harry.
But I should also probably mention why I didn’t read this book before now. Obviously, this book was popular several years ago, and I bought it several years ago. But I never read it, because of a deep, dark secret, one that I try to keep to myself during relevant conversations, because it seems to attract the same types of looks that telling people you don’t like dogs does. The secret is:
I did not think Naked was that funny.
I mean, I thought it was well-observed, and well-written, but it wasn’t the 24-hour laughfest I had been promised. I even took Naked on a flight and had second thoughts, because I had been told that I would laugh so hysterically, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself on the flight. But I didn’t need to worry, because I didn’t ever really laugh out loud. I thought some things were clever, and I thought some things were really tedious. But in all my conversations about this book, I’ve only found one other person who didn’t think that David Sedaris was an idol that we should be worshipping.
But I decided to give him another chance.
What did I think of this book: Well, I liked it better than Naked. But I didn’t laugh out loud. That seems to be the standard that everyone measures David Sedaris books by—how much they laughed. Even now, a glance of the back of the book just talks about laughing and laughing and laughing. I like to think I have a good sense of humor. Why was I not laughing?
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked any mention of Amy Sedaris, who I think, if I were given my druthers, would be the member of the Sedaris family that I would want to go out for drinks with.
What did I learn from this book: I have no sense of humor. I live a laughless life.
What grade do I give this book: B-
Book #19: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no spoilers or plot points)
Last night, at 10 p.m. (pacific time), I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, about 22 hours after it was released. It took about nine hours of reading time total.
But let’s back up. All the way to last weekend, where I tried to accomplish an immense amount, just so this weekend could be completely free to do nothing but read Harry Potter. Then this past week, where the main goal in my life was to avoid finding out plot details. I stopped reading the newspaper, blogs…I even had to have a serious conversation with myself about whether Jon Stewart would say something related to Harry Potter that would ruin the book. One of my coworkers speculated that an e-mail spammer might send a spam that had the ending as the title of the spam, so that even checking my e-mail became a cause for fear.
I was just absolutely convinced that I was going to find out a crucial detail, so I disengaged from life, conversations, etc, just trying to make it to the weekend so that I could get the book and retreat to my apartment, and not emerge until I knew the end.
Part of me was like, what does it matter? To be honest, I would have been okay with however the book/series had ended. Everyone could have turned into a Martian and flown in a Dr. Pepper can to Timbuktu, and I would have been okay (that doesn’t happen, and I hope it’s not too much of a spoiler to use that as example). I just didn’t want someone to tell me what happened before I read it for myself. But why did I even need that? I’ve read plenty of books where I knew the ending, and really, tons of trailers show the end of movies. Why was Harry Potter any different?
It’s a hard line to draw these days, when pop culture is news. Five minutes after The Sopranos ended, you could get detailed descriptions of how the show ended, and everyone wanted to talk about it endlessly, so that even if you had TIVO’d it, and were going to watch it the next night….well, there was just no way that you could have made it to that night without finding out the end. And when it’s a cultural touchstone, like The Sopranos, or Harry Potter, reporting the end almost does seem to be a newsworthy item. But it’s not. We’ve developed a world of instant gratification but not taken into account that some things require time to be enjoyed.
So what I decided was that I was trying to avoid the kind of spoiler that people would tell you for the express purpose of being cruel, or as a way to be condescending. I had a very vivid daydream that I would be reading the bus, reading Harry Potter, and someone would just lean over and tell me the end, just to be spiteful. And maybe it’s precisely because it’s so blown out of control that people who are not on the inside want to do that to others. I don’t know what it says about me that I think other people are so capable of that cruelty. But last night I went out to get a cheeseburger, with about four hundred pages to go, and I have never been so scared in my life that some conversation in another booth would go, “Hey, did you hear what happens in Harry Potter?”
So, because I am part of the camp that believes that absolutely no detail at all should be in the public sphere before you read this book, even if I can’t precisely pinpoint why I think that is, I won’t do a traditional review of the book. Instead, here’s what I did yesterday:
I had a bad night’s sleep Friday night, full of Harry Potter anxiety dreams…anxiety over finding the book in a bookstore or being told the ending. At 5 a.m. I called it quits on sleeping and went to the 24-hour QFC down the street. No HP7 books were out! I was forced to ask some guy stocking cat food at 5 a.m. if he had any Harry Potter books, and I can’t think of too much that’s more pathetic than that. He tried to make small talk but I completely avoided eye contact and gave one-word answers, just because at that point I was so convinced that the book would be ruined. Then I went home and ate Rice Krispies and read for two hours. Then I fell back to sleep, probably out of relief that I finally had the book and could read it without leaving the apartment again. I woke up and ate lunch and read. I talked to my mom on the phone, then read. I went and got the cheeseburger mentioned above, and then read some more. I laughed, I cried, and then it was done. I was a little sad that I couldn’t savor it a little more, but I probably would have read it quickly even without being convinced that the whole world was out to ruin the experience for me. It was good. I give it an A.
But let’s back up. All the way to last weekend, where I tried to accomplish an immense amount, just so this weekend could be completely free to do nothing but read Harry Potter. Then this past week, where the main goal in my life was to avoid finding out plot details. I stopped reading the newspaper, blogs…I even had to have a serious conversation with myself about whether Jon Stewart would say something related to Harry Potter that would ruin the book. One of my coworkers speculated that an e-mail spammer might send a spam that had the ending as the title of the spam, so that even checking my e-mail became a cause for fear.
I was just absolutely convinced that I was going to find out a crucial detail, so I disengaged from life, conversations, etc, just trying to make it to the weekend so that I could get the book and retreat to my apartment, and not emerge until I knew the end.
Part of me was like, what does it matter? To be honest, I would have been okay with however the book/series had ended. Everyone could have turned into a Martian and flown in a Dr. Pepper can to Timbuktu, and I would have been okay (that doesn’t happen, and I hope it’s not too much of a spoiler to use that as example). I just didn’t want someone to tell me what happened before I read it for myself. But why did I even need that? I’ve read plenty of books where I knew the ending, and really, tons of trailers show the end of movies. Why was Harry Potter any different?
It’s a hard line to draw these days, when pop culture is news. Five minutes after The Sopranos ended, you could get detailed descriptions of how the show ended, and everyone wanted to talk about it endlessly, so that even if you had TIVO’d it, and were going to watch it the next night….well, there was just no way that you could have made it to that night without finding out the end. And when it’s a cultural touchstone, like The Sopranos, or Harry Potter, reporting the end almost does seem to be a newsworthy item. But it’s not. We’ve developed a world of instant gratification but not taken into account that some things require time to be enjoyed.
So what I decided was that I was trying to avoid the kind of spoiler that people would tell you for the express purpose of being cruel, or as a way to be condescending. I had a very vivid daydream that I would be reading the bus, reading Harry Potter, and someone would just lean over and tell me the end, just to be spiteful. And maybe it’s precisely because it’s so blown out of control that people who are not on the inside want to do that to others. I don’t know what it says about me that I think other people are so capable of that cruelty. But last night I went out to get a cheeseburger, with about four hundred pages to go, and I have never been so scared in my life that some conversation in another booth would go, “Hey, did you hear what happens in Harry Potter?”
So, because I am part of the camp that believes that absolutely no detail at all should be in the public sphere before you read this book, even if I can’t precisely pinpoint why I think that is, I won’t do a traditional review of the book. Instead, here’s what I did yesterday:
I had a bad night’s sleep Friday night, full of Harry Potter anxiety dreams…anxiety over finding the book in a bookstore or being told the ending. At 5 a.m. I called it quits on sleeping and went to the 24-hour QFC down the street. No HP7 books were out! I was forced to ask some guy stocking cat food at 5 a.m. if he had any Harry Potter books, and I can’t think of too much that’s more pathetic than that. He tried to make small talk but I completely avoided eye contact and gave one-word answers, just because at that point I was so convinced that the book would be ruined. Then I went home and ate Rice Krispies and read for two hours. Then I fell back to sleep, probably out of relief that I finally had the book and could read it without leaving the apartment again. I woke up and ate lunch and read. I talked to my mom on the phone, then read. I went and got the cheeseburger mentioned above, and then read some more. I laughed, I cried, and then it was done. I was a little sad that I couldn’t savor it a little more, but I probably would have read it quickly even without being convinced that the whole world was out to ruin the experience for me. It was good. I give it an A.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Book #18: The Kite Runner
The book: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
What is this book about: This book lays the story of a boy named Amir against the historical events of Afghanistan, from the mid-1970's on. As a boy, Amir is too cowardly to stand up for his friend Hassan, who is also the son of the family's servant and a Hazara. Even in adulthood, Amir cannot shake the guilt of what happened, and must eventually go back to Afghanistan to face his past.
Why did I read this book: I guess everyone in the world has read this book now except me?
What did I think of this book: I was discussing this book with my cousin recently, who was reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, and my cousin said The Kite Runner was "predictable formulaic storytelling, but it's a good story all the same." (Or something like that) And I would have to say I agree. It's a page turner in all the right parts, but I think that really worked for the book, because you get so into the story that you're not tripping over foreign words or phrases, and by the time that you're in the middle of the book, all of those words have become second nature, practically.
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked this quote from page 359: "I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
What did I learn from this book: That our actions and choices echo throughout all of our lives.
What grade do I give this book: B
What is this book about: This book lays the story of a boy named Amir against the historical events of Afghanistan, from the mid-1970's on. As a boy, Amir is too cowardly to stand up for his friend Hassan, who is also the son of the family's servant and a Hazara. Even in adulthood, Amir cannot shake the guilt of what happened, and must eventually go back to Afghanistan to face his past.
Why did I read this book: I guess everyone in the world has read this book now except me?
What did I think of this book: I was discussing this book with my cousin recently, who was reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, and my cousin said The Kite Runner was "predictable formulaic storytelling, but it's a good story all the same." (Or something like that) And I would have to say I agree. It's a page turner in all the right parts, but I think that really worked for the book, because you get so into the story that you're not tripping over foreign words or phrases, and by the time that you're in the middle of the book, all of those words have become second nature, practically.
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked this quote from page 359: "I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
What did I learn from this book: That our actions and choices echo throughout all of our lives.
What grade do I give this book: B
Friday, July 13, 2007
Random Friday thoughts
It has been hot here the last few days. I know it's hot everywhere, but Seattle only has a handful of days each summer where it's so hot it's miserable, and we always forget about them til they're here. Trying to sleep just makes you cranky because it's too hot to have a bed pressing against you. It's too hot to eat. Sitting in a chair involves sitting in your own sweat, the kind of sweat that seems to sit right under the surface, cooking you from the inside. Walking across the apartment to the bathroom involves fresh rivulets of sweat breaking out. Then you sit in the old sweat for awhile.
But it's Seattle, so no one has any air conditioning. There was a neat picture on the internet this week, of the fan aisle at Target and it was completely empty. Since there's only a few nice days in Seattle each year, one of the unintentionally hard things about living here is that there's this pressure to make the most of every sunny day, to live each nice day as if it were your last, because you just don't know when it's going to be gray again. I rarely feel like I live up to the challenge.
Last night around 4 a.m. it started raining really hard, and it was wonderful. Wonderful because it was a break from the heat, but more because it sounded like a good hard east coast rain that means business, and not a Seattle drizzle. The kind of rain that's really comforting to fall asleep to.
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Today I discovered a great scam that both obtains quarters (a huge challenge for anyone who has to use coin-operated laundry) while simultaenously getting rid of dimes and nickels (as opposed to more useful currency such as dollar bills). You go up to a soda machine and pretend you're going to buy a drink. Put in 50 cents in any combination of dimes and nickels. Then push coin return and voila! you have two quarters. One thing I know about myself is that I can never live in an apartment that doesn't have a dishwasher, but I will know that I have really arrived when I have my own washer/dryer as well.
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I really like it when bus drivers going one way wave to the drivers of the same route going the other way. I can't imagine it's because they all know each other, because I would think Metro is too large to have things like regular staff meetings, but more out of kinship for the route.
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"Phantom sunglass head" is a term I've come up with to describe the condition of feeling like your sunglasses are on top of your head when really they're not. It's common after events such as vacations or nice days, when you might be alternating between outside to see stuff, and inside to eat. When you're inside you push them to the top of your head until you finish eating or whatever. But when you take them off for the day, it might still feel like they're still up there. You might reach up there to steady them. But they're not there. That's "phantom sunglass head."
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Today I had a cheeseburger for lunch which was an immense relief because I have been craving one for days. The related anecdote I would like to share is that I was reading on the internet about a cheeseburger that has a Krispy Kreme for a bun (it was one of the lead stories on Yahoo! this morning). Can you even imagine a cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme as a bun? Even I, who love both cheeseburgers and doughnuts more than life itself, could probably not eat that. The only thing that might be unhealthier is the Gusburger, which is the specialty of a place called The White Spot. Apparently my dad ate them a lot when he was a student at UVA, and it is probably a miracle he is still alive. It is a cheeseburger with a fried egg. And heaven help me, it is good.
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Last, I would like to give a shout-out to Bruce Springsteen. Normally, I am not one for reissues or for live albums, but about a year ago, one of the best albums of all-time came out, and it is called We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions. It is Bruce Springsteen singing old Pete Seeger songs, and I talked about it endlessly to anyone who would listen. If I never talked to you about it, just give me your phone number, and I will. Then, several months after that, the re-issue came out. By adding only 4 songs, Bruce made this CD even more amazing. And now I have spent today listening to Live in Dublin, by Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band. It captures some raucous nights in Ireland. And it's as great as I wanted or expected it to be.
What's cool about the CD is that some of the older songs get the Seeger Sessions treatment: "If I Should Fall Behind" becomes a waltz, "Blinded by the Light" kinda sounds like something a snake charmer would sing, and "Atlantic City"...well I probably can't think of a good description for what "Atlantic City"is, but it's awesome. What I'm trying to say is that if Bruce decided to do his entire back catalogue with the Seeger Sessions Band, I don't think I'd mind too much.
Bruce always puts on a great show---seeing him in 2002 in Atlanta is probably one of my top 3 concert experiences---and I think he is one of the few artists that translates well to a live album. It's just that usually I would rather just listen to the original and go to the show myself. I guess people who are into jam bands might disagree with me, like if you wanted to capture every single way Trey ever played something or other. But here, to me, are the unique touches that can make a live album fun:
--Singing a song that mentions the city in which the concert is taking place. Obviously when Jeff Tweedy gets to the line "the wind blew me back / via chicago" on Kicking Television: Live in Chicago, that's going to be a special moment.
--Inserting the concert city's name into a song that mentions a place. While Jimmy Buffett talks about getting "a Mexican cutie" tattoo in "Margaritaville," when he sings it in concert, the cutie is from the town he's in (ex.-"Nantucket cutie"). And crowds go wild! So cheesy, but I love it.
--Letting the audience sing the song without you, or counting on them to fill in certain parts. A good example of the former is on Tom Petty's Pack Up the Plantation: Live! where the crowd sings about two minutes of "Breakdown" before Tom finally comes in, drawling, "y'all gonna put me out of a job." Then he does the honorable thing and sings the whole song anyway, so people who didn't know the song don't feel left out. An example of the latter would be Elvis Costello letting the audience handle "oh why's that" and "oh, that's too bad" and "oh I'm so sad" in (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes. It's just a nice nod to fans and people who like the music.
--Slowing down on deliberate parts that are funny or meaningful. This one's hard to define, but for example, the Indigo Girls went to Emory, and the second verse of one of their big songs is about how much college sucked for them. So when they played at Emory my sophomore year, they slowed down on the part that went, "got my paper, and I was free" so we could all cheer about the shared experience.
--Cover songs. Enough said.
Anyways, enjoy a video clip of Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band:
But it's Seattle, so no one has any air conditioning. There was a neat picture on the internet this week, of the fan aisle at Target and it was completely empty. Since there's only a few nice days in Seattle each year, one of the unintentionally hard things about living here is that there's this pressure to make the most of every sunny day, to live each nice day as if it were your last, because you just don't know when it's going to be gray again. I rarely feel like I live up to the challenge.
Last night around 4 a.m. it started raining really hard, and it was wonderful. Wonderful because it was a break from the heat, but more because it sounded like a good hard east coast rain that means business, and not a Seattle drizzle. The kind of rain that's really comforting to fall asleep to.
-------------------------
Today I discovered a great scam that both obtains quarters (a huge challenge for anyone who has to use coin-operated laundry) while simultaenously getting rid of dimes and nickels (as opposed to more useful currency such as dollar bills). You go up to a soda machine and pretend you're going to buy a drink. Put in 50 cents in any combination of dimes and nickels. Then push coin return and voila! you have two quarters. One thing I know about myself is that I can never live in an apartment that doesn't have a dishwasher, but I will know that I have really arrived when I have my own washer/dryer as well.
------------------------
I really like it when bus drivers going one way wave to the drivers of the same route going the other way. I can't imagine it's because they all know each other, because I would think Metro is too large to have things like regular staff meetings, but more out of kinship for the route.
--------------------------
"Phantom sunglass head" is a term I've come up with to describe the condition of feeling like your sunglasses are on top of your head when really they're not. It's common after events such as vacations or nice days, when you might be alternating between outside to see stuff, and inside to eat. When you're inside you push them to the top of your head until you finish eating or whatever. But when you take them off for the day, it might still feel like they're still up there. You might reach up there to steady them. But they're not there. That's "phantom sunglass head."
--------------------------
Today I had a cheeseburger for lunch which was an immense relief because I have been craving one for days. The related anecdote I would like to share is that I was reading on the internet about a cheeseburger that has a Krispy Kreme for a bun (it was one of the lead stories on Yahoo! this morning). Can you even imagine a cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme as a bun? Even I, who love both cheeseburgers and doughnuts more than life itself, could probably not eat that. The only thing that might be unhealthier is the Gusburger, which is the specialty of a place called The White Spot. Apparently my dad ate them a lot when he was a student at UVA, and it is probably a miracle he is still alive. It is a cheeseburger with a fried egg. And heaven help me, it is good.
-------------------------------
Last, I would like to give a shout-out to Bruce Springsteen. Normally, I am not one for reissues or for live albums, but about a year ago, one of the best albums of all-time came out, and it is called We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions. It is Bruce Springsteen singing old Pete Seeger songs, and I talked about it endlessly to anyone who would listen. If I never talked to you about it, just give me your phone number, and I will. Then, several months after that, the re-issue came out. By adding only 4 songs, Bruce made this CD even more amazing. And now I have spent today listening to Live in Dublin, by Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band. It captures some raucous nights in Ireland. And it's as great as I wanted or expected it to be.
What's cool about the CD is that some of the older songs get the Seeger Sessions treatment: "If I Should Fall Behind" becomes a waltz, "Blinded by the Light" kinda sounds like something a snake charmer would sing, and "Atlantic City"...well I probably can't think of a good description for what "Atlantic City"is, but it's awesome. What I'm trying to say is that if Bruce decided to do his entire back catalogue with the Seeger Sessions Band, I don't think I'd mind too much.
Bruce always puts on a great show---seeing him in 2002 in Atlanta is probably one of my top 3 concert experiences---and I think he is one of the few artists that translates well to a live album. It's just that usually I would rather just listen to the original and go to the show myself. I guess people who are into jam bands might disagree with me, like if you wanted to capture every single way Trey ever played something or other. But here, to me, are the unique touches that can make a live album fun:
--Singing a song that mentions the city in which the concert is taking place. Obviously when Jeff Tweedy gets to the line "the wind blew me back / via chicago" on Kicking Television: Live in Chicago, that's going to be a special moment.
--Inserting the concert city's name into a song that mentions a place. While Jimmy Buffett talks about getting "a Mexican cutie" tattoo in "Margaritaville," when he sings it in concert, the cutie is from the town he's in (ex.-"Nantucket cutie"). And crowds go wild! So cheesy, but I love it.
--Letting the audience sing the song without you, or counting on them to fill in certain parts. A good example of the former is on Tom Petty's Pack Up the Plantation: Live! where the crowd sings about two minutes of "Breakdown" before Tom finally comes in, drawling, "y'all gonna put me out of a job." Then he does the honorable thing and sings the whole song anyway, so people who didn't know the song don't feel left out. An example of the latter would be Elvis Costello letting the audience handle "oh why's that" and "oh, that's too bad" and "oh I'm so sad" in (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes. It's just a nice nod to fans and people who like the music.
--Slowing down on deliberate parts that are funny or meaningful. This one's hard to define, but for example, the Indigo Girls went to Emory, and the second verse of one of their big songs is about how much college sucked for them. So when they played at Emory my sophomore year, they slowed down on the part that went, "got my paper, and I was free" so we could all cheer about the shared experience.
--Cover songs. Enough said.
Anyways, enjoy a video clip of Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band:
Monday, July 9, 2007
Book #17: This is How I Speak
The book: This is How I Speak by Sandi Sonnenfeld
What is this book about: This book is a one-year journal (although one that sometimes seemed a bit too polished to me) of a 24-year-old female East Coaster who is getting her MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Washington. The journal was kept in the 1980s and the book was published in 2002.
Why did I read this book: I'll give you three guesses.
What did I think of this book: Well, the first thing to talk about is that the book is a lot less about creative writing than you'd think. Frankly Sandi Sonnenfeld seems pretty disgusted with the whole process of creative writing seminars and classes, because she seems to think she's too cool for school. The book is more about a dance professor at UW that she desperately wants to impress and the intersection of dance and writing and art and the world that Sandi Sonnenfeld doesn't feel appreciates her.
Speaking of the world that doesn't appreciate Sandi Sonnenfeld, apparently no one appreciates her, because she is always always bitching about how the people in her life have let her down, and how she has it worse than anyone else in the whole world. To be fair, thoughts like these are probably common in most of the journals 24- or 25-year-old females who are interested in creative writing, because this demographic is known for being fairly emotionally unstable and neurotic (not that I would know). But not everyone feels the need to publish their melodramatic journal. The rest of us have blogs.
I will say that Sandi Sonnenfeld redeems her pithy whining with two quotes, one from the preface that goes, "Looking back on these pages now...I sometimes ask myself if I should have...taken myself less seriously. And the answer is 'of course.' But that is the very nature of again; we gain wisdom with experience, and we ultimately learn that those things which felt so painful in our early twenties become of little consequence in our thirties and forties" (ix). So you know...just five years to go!
Also this one:
"So what if that is being self-absorbed? All writers are. They must be to complete their work. The must be because the world doesn't really want or need books about unicorns or Protestant adultery or diaries until we writers create that need for them" (118).
So I'm going to take her with a grain of salt and say that she knew she might not be necessarily putting her best side out there. It is probably more "real." But it's not always that interesting to read.
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked this quote (please don't sue me, Sandi Sonnenfeld, for using so many quotes): "But most of all, I'm terrified of complacency, the fear that I might settle for what I have simply because I'm afraid of so much else" (5).
I also liked it when she was talking about how her classmates had accused her of writing too much melodrama, and she was thinking, "but you bitches, it's my life" and I was like, well thank God I'm not the only one who thinks she's taking it a bit far.
What did I learn from this book: Try not to complain because it makes you seem unattractive. Don't blame everyone else in the world for your problems.
What grade do I give this book: C+
What is this book about: This book is a one-year journal (although one that sometimes seemed a bit too polished to me) of a 24-year-old female East Coaster who is getting her MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Washington. The journal was kept in the 1980s and the book was published in 2002.
Why did I read this book: I'll give you three guesses.
What did I think of this book: Well, the first thing to talk about is that the book is a lot less about creative writing than you'd think. Frankly Sandi Sonnenfeld seems pretty disgusted with the whole process of creative writing seminars and classes, because she seems to think she's too cool for school. The book is more about a dance professor at UW that she desperately wants to impress and the intersection of dance and writing and art and the world that Sandi Sonnenfeld doesn't feel appreciates her.
Speaking of the world that doesn't appreciate Sandi Sonnenfeld, apparently no one appreciates her, because she is always always bitching about how the people in her life have let her down, and how she has it worse than anyone else in the whole world. To be fair, thoughts like these are probably common in most of the journals 24- or 25-year-old females who are interested in creative writing, because this demographic is known for being fairly emotionally unstable and neurotic (not that I would know). But not everyone feels the need to publish their melodramatic journal. The rest of us have blogs.
I will say that Sandi Sonnenfeld redeems her pithy whining with two quotes, one from the preface that goes, "Looking back on these pages now...I sometimes ask myself if I should have...taken myself less seriously. And the answer is 'of course.' But that is the very nature of again; we gain wisdom with experience, and we ultimately learn that those things which felt so painful in our early twenties become of little consequence in our thirties and forties" (ix). So you know...just five years to go!
Also this one:
"So what if that is being self-absorbed? All writers are. They must be to complete their work. The must be because the world doesn't really want or need books about unicorns or Protestant adultery or diaries until we writers create that need for them" (118).
So I'm going to take her with a grain of salt and say that she knew she might not be necessarily putting her best side out there. It is probably more "real." But it's not always that interesting to read.
What was my favorite part of this book: I liked this quote (please don't sue me, Sandi Sonnenfeld, for using so many quotes): "But most of all, I'm terrified of complacency, the fear that I might settle for what I have simply because I'm afraid of so much else" (5).
I also liked it when she was talking about how her classmates had accused her of writing too much melodrama, and she was thinking, "but you bitches, it's my life" and I was like, well thank God I'm not the only one who thinks she's taking it a bit far.
What did I learn from this book: Try not to complain because it makes you seem unattractive. Don't blame everyone else in the world for your problems.
What grade do I give this book: C+
Sunday, July 8, 2007
fighting fire....with firefighters
Yesterday I had to work a few hours at the Pioneer Square Fire Festival, which is a big party for fire fighters. There were fire fighters as far as the eye can see. A lot of them were doing this thing called Firefighter Extreme Challenge (www.firefighterchallenge.com), which I hadn’t heard of, but supposedly it is very famous. It involves carrying things up a giant thing of stairs, pulling something up, then running down again, and getting the hose and putting out a fake fire, hammering stuff, then dragging someone to safety. The fire fighters who compete (in full outfits!) can usually do it in two minutes and it was pretty impressive. And scary, because once when I was watching a guy collapsed under the weight of the dummy victim he was dragging to safety. It made me think though that every profession should have its own extreme challenge (mine would involve speed typing, putting up canopy tents, and trying not to eat my lunch before noon).
Our booth was next to the Seattle Firefighters Pipe and Drums unit; they were all jovial fellows who wear kilts and play bagpipes and drums at all sorts of events such as weddings, funerals, and St. Patrick’s Day parties. They had these special flasks built into their kilts so I guess that explains the joviality. So I heard more bagpipes and drums in a few hours yesterday than I have probably previously heard in my life.
They also had fire fighters demonstrating how they tear a car apart with saws and the jaws of life to save people who are trapped inside cars after accidents. All I can say is that if you are trapped inside your car after an accident, you’d better hope that you are unconscious, so you can be spared the pain of watching fire fighters take off the top of your car.
There was a mascot challenge at the festival as well, which I didn’t see, but I saw the mascots walking around. Well, one of my biggest dislikes in the world is people dressed up in animal costumes. A little bit is okay here and there---like, I don’t mind if people wear rabbit ears at Halloween, and sometimes I have to restrain myself from buying rain slickers that look like frogs for my future children. But I do not like full-on costumes, so mascots are enemy #1. It probably started back in college, when I was having a very bad day, the kind of day where you question why you are at this school and what are you going to do with your life and etc etc etc. This bad day happened to take place on DUC Day, which was a party for the cafeteria basically. On the one hand, it was good because there was usually free cake, but on the other hand, it was bad because they had this giant duck walking around. And in the midst of this bad day, that fucking duck would not leave me alone, and it was just not helpful to my delicate mental state to have a duck constantly poking me.
I digress. The good part of the story was that yesterday I saw a mascot (poetically enough, the U of O duck) walk into a tree. Later I saw a guy throw up under the same tree.
Our booth was next to the Seattle Firefighters Pipe and Drums unit; they were all jovial fellows who wear kilts and play bagpipes and drums at all sorts of events such as weddings, funerals, and St. Patrick’s Day parties. They had these special flasks built into their kilts so I guess that explains the joviality. So I heard more bagpipes and drums in a few hours yesterday than I have probably previously heard in my life.
They also had fire fighters demonstrating how they tear a car apart with saws and the jaws of life to save people who are trapped inside cars after accidents. All I can say is that if you are trapped inside your car after an accident, you’d better hope that you are unconscious, so you can be spared the pain of watching fire fighters take off the top of your car.
There was a mascot challenge at the festival as well, which I didn’t see, but I saw the mascots walking around. Well, one of my biggest dislikes in the world is people dressed up in animal costumes. A little bit is okay here and there---like, I don’t mind if people wear rabbit ears at Halloween, and sometimes I have to restrain myself from buying rain slickers that look like frogs for my future children. But I do not like full-on costumes, so mascots are enemy #1. It probably started back in college, when I was having a very bad day, the kind of day where you question why you are at this school and what are you going to do with your life and etc etc etc. This bad day happened to take place on DUC Day, which was a party for the cafeteria basically. On the one hand, it was good because there was usually free cake, but on the other hand, it was bad because they had this giant duck walking around. And in the midst of this bad day, that fucking duck would not leave me alone, and it was just not helpful to my delicate mental state to have a duck constantly poking me.
I digress. The good part of the story was that yesterday I saw a mascot (poetically enough, the U of O duck) walk into a tree. Later I saw a guy throw up under the same tree.
Book #16: Special Topics in Calamity Physics
The book: Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
What is this book about: This book is about Blue Van Meer, a senior in high school has been moved around the country by her father, an academic who has provided Blue with an astounding education. He's the center of her world, but in her senior year of high school, she falls in with the "cool kids" almost by mistake. The kids, and Blue, are captivated by their ringleader of a teacher. Mysteries and intrigue and literary references ensue.
Why did I read this book: I forget what review I read of this book when it first came out, but I wanted to read it immediately (I waited for the paperback). Plus, the author grew up in Asheville, but I've never heard of her.
What did I think of this book: The book's best feature is also, in some ways, its worst. Most people who read this book tell you about the language...the back cover even includes a review with the term "literary pyrotechnics." It's so well-written, with a searing detail in every line, and it's pretty thrilling to read a book like that. But I was also constantly distracted by it. I kept wondering, how could this person ever write another book, when it seems that she's used every single observation she's ever had about literature, high school, parenting, mysteries, humanity, etc., on this one? If this is her writing style, is she doomed?
It was never boring, but it was a bit of a trudge to get through the first 300 pages, where "nothing" really happens. Of course, in the last 200 pages, everything comes together and makes sense, but really....maybe some editing?
But even with those caveats, these were interesting characters in interesting circumstances.
What was my favorite part of this book: When it all came together and finally turned into a page-turner.
What did I learn from this book: I don't read enough. (The main character has read like every book in the world)
What grade do I give this book: A-
What is this book about: This book is about Blue Van Meer, a senior in high school has been moved around the country by her father, an academic who has provided Blue with an astounding education. He's the center of her world, but in her senior year of high school, she falls in with the "cool kids" almost by mistake. The kids, and Blue, are captivated by their ringleader of a teacher. Mysteries and intrigue and literary references ensue.
Why did I read this book: I forget what review I read of this book when it first came out, but I wanted to read it immediately (I waited for the paperback). Plus, the author grew up in Asheville, but I've never heard of her.
What did I think of this book: The book's best feature is also, in some ways, its worst. Most people who read this book tell you about the language...the back cover even includes a review with the term "literary pyrotechnics." It's so well-written, with a searing detail in every line, and it's pretty thrilling to read a book like that. But I was also constantly distracted by it. I kept wondering, how could this person ever write another book, when it seems that she's used every single observation she's ever had about literature, high school, parenting, mysteries, humanity, etc., on this one? If this is her writing style, is she doomed?
It was never boring, but it was a bit of a trudge to get through the first 300 pages, where "nothing" really happens. Of course, in the last 200 pages, everything comes together and makes sense, but really....maybe some editing?
But even with those caveats, these were interesting characters in interesting circumstances.
What was my favorite part of this book: When it all came together and finally turned into a page-turner.
What did I learn from this book: I don't read enough. (The main character has read like every book in the world)
What grade do I give this book: A-
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
if you take away the e, it's also a delicious drink and a paper company
July 3, 1863 marked the last day of fighting of the Battle of Gettysburg. George Gordon Meade, the general for the north, defeated the south and sent the Confederates running. This is an important day for me, as George Gordon Meade is my great-great-great uncle (technically I am not sure how many great’s are involved). Great Uncle George provided both my father and me with our middle names, although I don’t really know how much evidence we have of that. Allegedly there is a picture of Meade holding my dad’s grandmother when she was a baby or something. Whatever the evidence was, it was not enough to win me a scholarship for Civil War descendents that I applied for one time, even though I had a “very well-written cover letter.” Anyways I guess at some point a Meade married an Edmonds and life has never been the same since.
So Meade had not been in charge very long when he took on that sonofabitch Robert E. Lee. But it was a turning point in the war, and family lore has it (or, as my dad likes to say a lot) that if Meade had done a better job following Lee after the battle, he could have definitively won the war and then he would have been the 18th president instead of Ulysses S. Grant. But because he kind of hesitated, Grant was able to come in and really be the shining star at the end there. Did he take the credit from Meade? I’m too polite to say. But you know, we were kind of close there to having our name on money and the like.
When I was a kid, we took a family vacation to Gettysburg and apparently I caused some controversy because I fell quite in love with Abraham Lincoln. Instead of taking an interest in the General Meade statues (and Gettysburg is definitely the only place you can take advantage of the Meade connection), I was more interested in having my picture with the Lincoln statues and buying books about Lincoln in the gift shops and just talking and talking about Mr. Lincoln. Anyways, one day I’ll go back and take more of an interest in Meade. Because we behaved at Gettysburg, we got to go to Hershey Park!
Fun facts about George Gordon Meade:
• He was born in Cadiz Spain
• After fighting in the Mexican-American war he designed lighthouses
• His horse was named Old Baldy
Sunday, July 1, 2007
2007 is half over now
Well I have been keeping track of the movies I watched for the first time this year, just as I have been keeping track of the books I read (I'm aware that the book goal is not going as well as planned but I am reading a really long book right now and dealing with about 600 magazines).
Since we're at the halfway point of the year, here are the movies I have seen so far, only counting movies watched for the first time. I have watched 43 movies in 26 weeks, which is about 1.65 new movies in a week. That seems kind of high, like that's too much time to be inside watching movies, but you have to remember that some of those months were winter, and some of those months I had a sprained knee and just getting from the bed to the couch was kind of a big ordeal.
I would like to thank the Seattle Public Library for subsidizing my movie habit so that I can spend disposable income on things like Kettle Chips and Gatorade.
1. Basic Instinct
Morally questionable Michael Douglas...just the way we like him.
2. Cool Hand Luke
George Kennedy kind of creeped me out in this movie.
3. Father of the Bride (1950)
It's hard to pick between the original and the remake. I like Spencer Tracy an awful lot, but I like Steve Martin and Martin Short a lot too. I call it a draw.
4. Boys Don't Cry
Sad movie.
5. American Dreamz
I don't watch American Idol, but it seems like that just based on what clips I've seen of the actual show, that a parody of it should have been a lot funnier.
6. The Breakfast Club
I just really don't like Molly Ringwald, and this movie did not change my mind. It did make me kind of wonder what Ally Sheedy is up to these days.
7. Memoirs of a Geisha
I read this book a few years ago and liked the book a lot better. I don't know how you would have understood this movie if you hadn't read the book.
8. Breaking the Waves
This movie stuck with me for awhile. Bess is a disturbed young woman with an unusual relationship with God. When her husband is injured, he tells her to sleep with other men. She does so, thinking it helps him get better. Interesting concepts regarding the power of belief and faith.
9. Sex, Lies, and Videotape
I realize it's not 1989 anymore, so I can't judge it against the time period in which it was released, but I didn't really see what the big deal was.
10. Melinda and Melinda
I liked it.
11. Thank You for Smoking
Good but not memorable.
12. Cache (Hidden)
This is one of those movies that immediately after you watch it, you should get on the IMDB message boards and just read people arguing about it.
13. Nacho Libre
Sometimes it's hard for me to watch Jack Black movies because there are moments when he looks exactly like my brother. Creepily so, and I get distracted. This one was okay though, because he had a mustache and an accent. Here's the best part of the movie:
When the fantasy has ended and all the children are gone
Something good inside me helps me to carry on
I ate some bugs I ate some grass
I used my hand to wipe my tears, to kiss your mouth
I break my vows
No no no no no no way Jose
Unless you want to
Then we break our vows together
Encarnacion!
14. Die Hard
Let's just say I'm not rushing out to the theater to see Die Hard: Live Free or Die.
15. Witness
I wish for Harrison Ford's sake that it was always the 1980's.
16. Wordplay
I gasped while watching this movie, there was that much suspense involved.
17. The Fugitive
I watched this movie all hopped up on cold medicine and don't remember a lot of it.
18. Blue Velvet
If I ever see Kyle MacLachlan walking my way, I am going to turn around and run very fast.
19. Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby
There's not too much that's funnier to me than small kids with redneck accents:
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
20. Akeelah and the Bee
I didn't expect to like this movie because it was over-promoted by Starbucks. But then it warmed my heart like a mocha on a cold day.
21. Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
Sasquatch, we know your love is real. Sasquatch, you and Tenacious D are...real
22. Edward Scissorhands
I am a little late in seeing a lot of Johnny Depp movies.
23. Kids
I think this is the scariest movie ever made.
24. Sherrybaby
I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is a great actress and I wouldn't mind being friends with her, particularly if I were to be dating her brother at the time.
25. Alice's Restaurant
I have been an Arlo Guthrie fan since I saw him in concert when I was in high school, and it was interesting to see young Arlo tooling around New England. Alice was kind of creepy. Having an actor playing the dying Woody was kind of creepy also. But having Pete Seeger show up to sing a few songs was AWESOME.
26. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
I am a little late in seeing a lot of Johnny Depp movies.
27. The Last Kiss
It's pretty hard to sympathize or care about any character in this movie.
28. Babel
One of my coworkers saw this in the theater and said the message that she took from it was that having kids was a disaster. I would go a step further and say that this mvoie just made me think that life as a whole is a disaster.
29. For Your Consideration
This was the latest Christopher Guest movie. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.
30. Holiday
Not "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet but the Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant movie. It was kind of bizarre how fast all the characters decided to be in love or not be in love with other characters but I guess that's how it was in the olden days. Cause they didn't live as long.
31. Strangers with Candy
I watched this movie twice in a row, once by itself and once with the commentary. There are not many movies that I would do that for.
32. The Great New Wonderful
I was having a Stephen Colbert marathon day (see #31), and he gets off the best line in the movie: "He's actually a selfish, incorrigible monster, with a heart made out of shit and splinters." It's a pretty remarkable cast with a sort of weird story to tell, of New Yorkers in the year after 9/11. Some of these people though...and I don't want to say anything too controversial or offensive...but wouldn't a lot of these people still have been as messed up if 9/11 hadn't happened?
33. Shut Up and Sing
This is the documentary about the Dixie Chicks. It was kind of interesting to watch this movie with a communications background, because they needed a little more help there then they got. On the one hand, I wanted to side with them, because I believe in free speech, but on the other hand, they didn't seem to understand why they were right, and they let an awful lot of kinda dumb things come out of their mouths in the aftermath.
34. The Queen
I didn't realize Tony Blair was such a big part of the movie. It was interesting. I like monarchies.
35. Half Nelson
Man watch this movie if you want to be depressed for an hour and a half.
36. Because I Said So
I didn't know whether to be more embarrassed for Diane Keaton or for Mandy Moore.
37. The Science of Sleep
I wanted to like this movie a lot more than I did. There was this quote I really liked in the movie, but I can't find it on the internet, and it'll be awhile before I'll sit down to watch this movie again. So it's forever lost, kind of like some dreams.
38. The Departed
I liked it.
39. You Me and Dupree
For being a comedy, this movie got really dark and disturbing.
40. Catch and Release
I think this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I felt bad for Jennifer Garner; my dad knows a guy who saw her naked once, because the guy went to Denison, and so did Jennifer Garner, and the guy's roommate was dating Jennifer, and so the guy saw her once getting out of the shower. So, you know, because of this connection I'd like her movies to do well.
41. Cars
It was cute but also a statement on how the highway might have ruined America.
42. Music and Lyrics
My archnemesis Drew Barrymore managed not to embarrass herself too badly, except, you know, when she actually had to act. The best part was the music video that was in the trailer.
43. Notes on a Scandal
I read this book back in January so I could see the movie. I read the book imagining Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench in the roles they played, so the movie was about what I expected. I don't know if it would have been different if I'd read the book without knowing who was going to play the parts.
Since we're at the halfway point of the year, here are the movies I have seen so far, only counting movies watched for the first time. I have watched 43 movies in 26 weeks, which is about 1.65 new movies in a week. That seems kind of high, like that's too much time to be inside watching movies, but you have to remember that some of those months were winter, and some of those months I had a sprained knee and just getting from the bed to the couch was kind of a big ordeal.
I would like to thank the Seattle Public Library for subsidizing my movie habit so that I can spend disposable income on things like Kettle Chips and Gatorade.
1. Basic Instinct
Morally questionable Michael Douglas...just the way we like him.
2. Cool Hand Luke
George Kennedy kind of creeped me out in this movie.
3. Father of the Bride (1950)
It's hard to pick between the original and the remake. I like Spencer Tracy an awful lot, but I like Steve Martin and Martin Short a lot too. I call it a draw.
4. Boys Don't Cry
Sad movie.
5. American Dreamz
I don't watch American Idol, but it seems like that just based on what clips I've seen of the actual show, that a parody of it should have been a lot funnier.
6. The Breakfast Club
I just really don't like Molly Ringwald, and this movie did not change my mind. It did make me kind of wonder what Ally Sheedy is up to these days.
7. Memoirs of a Geisha
I read this book a few years ago and liked the book a lot better. I don't know how you would have understood this movie if you hadn't read the book.
8. Breaking the Waves
This movie stuck with me for awhile. Bess is a disturbed young woman with an unusual relationship with God. When her husband is injured, he tells her to sleep with other men. She does so, thinking it helps him get better. Interesting concepts regarding the power of belief and faith.
9. Sex, Lies, and Videotape
I realize it's not 1989 anymore, so I can't judge it against the time period in which it was released, but I didn't really see what the big deal was.
10. Melinda and Melinda
I liked it.
11. Thank You for Smoking
Good but not memorable.
12. Cache (Hidden)
This is one of those movies that immediately after you watch it, you should get on the IMDB message boards and just read people arguing about it.
13. Nacho Libre
Sometimes it's hard for me to watch Jack Black movies because there are moments when he looks exactly like my brother. Creepily so, and I get distracted. This one was okay though, because he had a mustache and an accent. Here's the best part of the movie:
When the fantasy has ended and all the children are gone
Something good inside me helps me to carry on
I ate some bugs I ate some grass
I used my hand to wipe my tears, to kiss your mouth
I break my vows
No no no no no no way Jose
Unless you want to
Then we break our vows together
Encarnacion!
14. Die Hard
Let's just say I'm not rushing out to the theater to see Die Hard: Live Free or Die.
15. Witness
I wish for Harrison Ford's sake that it was always the 1980's.
16. Wordplay
I gasped while watching this movie, there was that much suspense involved.
17. The Fugitive
I watched this movie all hopped up on cold medicine and don't remember a lot of it.
18. Blue Velvet
If I ever see Kyle MacLachlan walking my way, I am going to turn around and run very fast.
19. Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby
There's not too much that's funnier to me than small kids with redneck accents:
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
20. Akeelah and the Bee
I didn't expect to like this movie because it was over-promoted by Starbucks. But then it warmed my heart like a mocha on a cold day.
21. Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
Sasquatch, we know your love is real. Sasquatch, you and Tenacious D are...real
22. Edward Scissorhands
I am a little late in seeing a lot of Johnny Depp movies.
23. Kids
I think this is the scariest movie ever made.
24. Sherrybaby
I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is a great actress and I wouldn't mind being friends with her, particularly if I were to be dating her brother at the time.
25. Alice's Restaurant
I have been an Arlo Guthrie fan since I saw him in concert when I was in high school, and it was interesting to see young Arlo tooling around New England. Alice was kind of creepy. Having an actor playing the dying Woody was kind of creepy also. But having Pete Seeger show up to sing a few songs was AWESOME.
26. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
I am a little late in seeing a lot of Johnny Depp movies.
27. The Last Kiss
It's pretty hard to sympathize or care about any character in this movie.
28. Babel
One of my coworkers saw this in the theater and said the message that she took from it was that having kids was a disaster. I would go a step further and say that this mvoie just made me think that life as a whole is a disaster.
29. For Your Consideration
This was the latest Christopher Guest movie. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.
30. Holiday
Not "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet but the Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant movie. It was kind of bizarre how fast all the characters decided to be in love or not be in love with other characters but I guess that's how it was in the olden days. Cause they didn't live as long.
31. Strangers with Candy
I watched this movie twice in a row, once by itself and once with the commentary. There are not many movies that I would do that for.
32. The Great New Wonderful
I was having a Stephen Colbert marathon day (see #31), and he gets off the best line in the movie: "He's actually a selfish, incorrigible monster, with a heart made out of shit and splinters." It's a pretty remarkable cast with a sort of weird story to tell, of New Yorkers in the year after 9/11. Some of these people though...and I don't want to say anything too controversial or offensive...but wouldn't a lot of these people still have been as messed up if 9/11 hadn't happened?
33. Shut Up and Sing
This is the documentary about the Dixie Chicks. It was kind of interesting to watch this movie with a communications background, because they needed a little more help there then they got. On the one hand, I wanted to side with them, because I believe in free speech, but on the other hand, they didn't seem to understand why they were right, and they let an awful lot of kinda dumb things come out of their mouths in the aftermath.
34. The Queen
I didn't realize Tony Blair was such a big part of the movie. It was interesting. I like monarchies.
35. Half Nelson
Man watch this movie if you want to be depressed for an hour and a half.
36. Because I Said So
I didn't know whether to be more embarrassed for Diane Keaton or for Mandy Moore.
37. The Science of Sleep
I wanted to like this movie a lot more than I did. There was this quote I really liked in the movie, but I can't find it on the internet, and it'll be awhile before I'll sit down to watch this movie again. So it's forever lost, kind of like some dreams.
38. The Departed
I liked it.
39. You Me and Dupree
For being a comedy, this movie got really dark and disturbing.
40. Catch and Release
I think this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I felt bad for Jennifer Garner; my dad knows a guy who saw her naked once, because the guy went to Denison, and so did Jennifer Garner, and the guy's roommate was dating Jennifer, and so the guy saw her once getting out of the shower. So, you know, because of this connection I'd like her movies to do well.
41. Cars
It was cute but also a statement on how the highway might have ruined America.
42. Music and Lyrics
My archnemesis Drew Barrymore managed not to embarrass herself too badly, except, you know, when she actually had to act. The best part was the music video that was in the trailer.
43. Notes on a Scandal
I read this book back in January so I could see the movie. I read the book imagining Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench in the roles they played, so the movie was about what I expected. I don't know if it would have been different if I'd read the book without knowing who was going to play the parts.
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