this post is too awesome (by george) (it denotes authorship, not the expression)

“To the red country and part of the gray country of Oklahoma, the last rains came gently, and they did not cut the scarred earth.”

Alright, so, what’s the literary reference? Fuck. I’m giving up on this literary reference shit. It’s just the first sentence of a random book:

For this to be relevant, I’m writing… To the humid country, and the hot country of Atlanta. This is George. Molly is reading the book that the quote comes from. Do you know it?

First off, you need to know that every time you see the word “Festival” in this blog, imagine I’m giving it a very Latin pronunciation. Like, festi-VAL. Molly doesn’t think this subtlety will come through on a blog, but what do I care? It’s not my blog now… you bastards. (sons-of-a-bitches)

…It was hot back then, (2 hours ago). You’ve been thinking about what we have been doing all day. We’ll, we’ve been at Festival (did you read it like Festiv-VAL? that was a test). Specifically, Virginia Highland Summerfest, which is right outside my sister’s door. Going to Festival (good job, now you are getting it) involves walking and looking at a lot of art that people want to sell you.

I can pretty much sum up this Festival with the phrase, “I could have made that.” Like, you see a piece of art/craft and think, “I could have made that!” For example, we saw a wire fish that was wrapped around a airplane size battle of liquor. I could have made that! Luckily, Molly and I thought of a craft idea that would sell out the wazoo, but I can’t reveal it here. I’m pretty sure we could manufacture it for $4, and we think we can sell it for $10. Look for us at a local Festival near you. Plus, we would drink the liquor out of the bottle before wrapping a wire fish over it. YES!

We talked briefly about how much such a craft tent would cost at such a Festival. Molly says $250, I say $600. We’ll never know. We thought Google would settle this argument, but you have to register. Bullshit. We’re too drunk to register, and I’m right anyway.

A couple beers and a horse race later, we’re ready for food. Imagine the best snack ever. You should have imagined two hot waffles cradling a slice of ice cream. If not, you did not think of the best snack ever. Losers…. At the Festival, we had waffle ice cream sandwiches.

Dude, I just saw a commercial with a peanut butter sandwich. It was awesome. Go to www.peanutbutterlovers.com to learn more about peanut farmers. Wasn’t Jimmy Carter a peanut farmer… Oh Atlanta, you love your peanuts.

As awesome as a peanut butter sandwich is, let me get back to this waffle ice cream sandwich situation. I guess I don’t have much else to say about it though. It was just too awesome. I feel bad for everyone who didn’t have a waffle ice cream sandwich today.

So that’s what we did for two hours today. Most of the rest of the day was drinking. More later…