Well, here we are the 11th entry of this epic blog journey. One blog entry for each cousin who was present. After the second breakfast on that Sunday morning two weeks ago now, we gathered our things from the cabins and said good-bye in the Kanuga parking lot. When I was a little girl, I always burst into tears when it was time to say good-bye to my family. This really may not have helped my coolness factor but my seven-year-old heart could not bear the pain of separation. This time I was more or less okay because we'll all see each other again in just two months now for my cousin Mary Henry's wedding to Brad. By the way, where is Brad? I miss Brad. I love Brad. Brad, I'm scared.
So as this account comes to a close, I'd like to salute the true hero of the weekend, without this champion the weekend would not have been as wonderful. And that heroic champion is my Oregon sweatshirt. It was so frickin' cold that weekend! I spent so much time in that sweatshirt because it was the only warm thing I brought! Sometimes I disappeared into the hood which made certain cousins sad, but what can I say? It was so so cold, and my sweatshirt kept me mildly warm.
Special thanks to some other clothing champions of the weekend, which included Worth's shorts (they made him look "hike-y"), the multiple pants that Mary Henry had to wear because she kept wetting herself, and also Mary Henry's jacket, which got discarded and swung about as soon as she started dancing. While not an official member of this generation, I'll also give a shout-out to Allison's daughter Sarah, who was wearing a most festive Halloween outfit the first day of the reunion, right down to some adorable orange baby crocs. Also I liked Mary's purple vest. Also I liked the green family t-shirt we all wore on Saturday. But unfortunately, none of those items of clothing were as valuable as my Oregon sweatshirt. And that's about all I have to say on the weekend.
The End.
Oh, it would be silly to end there. So in addition to sending a toast to my warm hooded sweatshirt, I'll also send a toast to all my cousins. What I'm about to mention may not have been their most notable contribution to the weekend, but it is the most memorable to me at this point:
--To Catharine, for her aforementioned dancing skills and for constantly asking what time it was, so that we did not miss meals.
--To Elizabeth, who drove out in her fancy new car to get us Wendy's, and we like her so much that even though she went to bed far too early the second night, we did not pull any slumber party pranks on her like putting her hand in warm water, even though that is TOTALLY what you should do to people who fall asleep too early at slumber parties.
--To Worth for his soulful singing of the blessing and DJ'ing skills that kept the people moving all night long. And George was particularly inspired by your directive to dance shirtless.
--To Mary, who has been extolled so many times in these entries already, for popcorn makers and magazine stashes; this time I salute you for keeping us all confused by the vast spectrum of things you chose to share. (overshare?)
--To Grant, for getting us all Ringo Starr's autograph before he stopped signing fan mail, because I am absolutely certain you must have done that for all of us. And for following me with the golf cart and sending sweet 2 a.m. emails
--To Allison, for taking down Grant and William in a game that will echo throughout history. Before they could land a single shot, you and your sister decimated them. I certainly was remiss for not calling this victory out earlier.
--To Mary Henry, for getting us all your sweet, sweet discount and for not showing any sign of worry about our actions, even though we totally could have gotten you fired. But probably not because everyone loves you. But it would have been fun to try. And also for getting the photographer and getting the man with stilts to show up.
--To Sarah, for her decision to shower upon arriving. While I didn't smell anything bad, I felt that showed a commitment to the weekend. And I was glad to hear you could drink beer the second day without making a face.
--To George, who is not my cousin, but if you weren't my brother I would wish you were my cousin, I commend you for regaining control of your body on Saturday and for building a ladder golf game.
--To William, also not my cousin, but if you weren't my brother I would wish you were my cousin, for building that awesome beer pong table.
Thanks also to everyone who brought cameras and everyone who indulged my narcissism by telling a story about what an adorable child I was. Basically everyone is awesome and if even one of us hadn't showed up it would have been far less fun. See everyone in two months. To readers who are not my cousins (if there are any left), brace yourself for more cousin news in January.
Showing posts with label cousin reunion 2008. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cousin reunion 2008. Show all posts
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Cousin Reunion #10: I am J.K. Rowling
Well, just two weeks ago today, the cousin reunion ended. And here I am still churning out entries about it. To be perfectly honest, it's been a little tough to get all the way to the 11 entries I promised. After all, the cousin reunion itself only lasted about 42 hours. And some of those hours we were asleep. So it's almost an entry for, like, every three hours. I am kind of running out of things to talk about.
Then I got some advice from my cousin Grant via Facebook wall contact. Grant told me to be like J.K. Rowling. I hadn't considered being like J.K. Rowling, mainly because I'm not worth over a billion dollars. No one's waiting breathlessly at midnight in costume for my next blog installment and staying up to read it by flashlight, and I didn't start this blog when I was a poor single mother writing in British cafes. I haven't even gotten to hang out with Daniel Radcliffe, though he was spotted in Seattle a few times because rumor had it he was dating a girl who lived there.
But the more I thought about trying to be J.K. Rowling, the more I realized Grant had a point. Why try to fight it. As it turns out, I must reveal a long-guarded family secret:
All of my cousins are wizards.
There, I said it. It may surprise some of the Muggles who married into this family but that's just the way it is. We can't hide anymore. When I said we were all at "Kanuga," I meant we were all really at Hogwarts. You may have noticed that I didn't dedicate any time to describing how we arrived, but that's because everyone knows you arrive by train (although some of us apparated).
But this will make further sense when you go back and read previous entries knowing I am a wizard. When I said we were drinking, clearly we were drinking butterbeer. When we ate a lot, it was chocolate frogs and those beans that taste like everything. (But we really did eat A LOT of popcorn). When I ran in a road race, then now you must understand that it was part of the Triwizard Tournament. Celebrity magazines = The Daily Prophet and The Quibbler. Beer pong = Quidditch. And can you believe that when glass got stuck in my hand, it formed a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt?!?!?
Too bad that we didn't have enough Galleons to play Tripoley and lacked proper transport (aka a designated driver) to get to Diagon Alley. Yet it was a good thing that no one got so drunk that we had to go to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Thank goodness we didn't act on a drunken impulse to prank phone call our parents, or we might have ended up in Azkaban. I'm happy that no dementors showed up and want to give a big shout-out to all of those who keep the Harry Potter Wikipedia entries so well up-to-date and excruciatingly detailed.
Now, while I may have muddled my previous entries on the cousin reunion with Muggle-speak to balance the harmony between the magical and non-magical world, it should not be assumed that the good times had by all were in any way changed. It was just a regular family event with our hippogriffs and house elves. We listened to wizard rock and hid horcruxes all over Kanuga. We defended against the dark arts and practiced parseltongue just for the hell of it.
J.K. Rowling uses a lot of flashbacks in her books, but I'll do her one better and present a flash-forward of what our next family event might entail:
1. Someone peeing their pants
2. Someone crawling into a bed that is not their own
3. Someone eating way too many sausage biscuits
4. Someone acting like a monkey.
5. Someone who is too loud when we are supposed to be quiet!
6. Popcorn
7. People talking about how old they are.
8. People talking about asses.
9. Molly requesting stories about what she was like as a child
10. Someone getting married.
Well, I guess that's about it. So we're wizards. Deal with it. I don't want to brag but since I'm at the 10th installment of this series I've already done three better than J.K. Rowling. Oh….but I just re-read my facebook wall. Apparently I was supposed to be like J.K. Rowling in terms of length of entries. Oh. Maybe I wasn't supposed to say we were all wizards. Yikes. I get so confused. Much like Ron Weasley in dealing with his feelings for Hermione.
Then I got some advice from my cousin Grant via Facebook wall contact. Grant told me to be like J.K. Rowling. I hadn't considered being like J.K. Rowling, mainly because I'm not worth over a billion dollars. No one's waiting breathlessly at midnight in costume for my next blog installment and staying up to read it by flashlight, and I didn't start this blog when I was a poor single mother writing in British cafes. I haven't even gotten to hang out with Daniel Radcliffe, though he was spotted in Seattle a few times because rumor had it he was dating a girl who lived there.
But the more I thought about trying to be J.K. Rowling, the more I realized Grant had a point. Why try to fight it. As it turns out, I must reveal a long-guarded family secret:
All of my cousins are wizards.
There, I said it. It may surprise some of the Muggles who married into this family but that's just the way it is. We can't hide anymore. When I said we were all at "Kanuga," I meant we were all really at Hogwarts. You may have noticed that I didn't dedicate any time to describing how we arrived, but that's because everyone knows you arrive by train (although some of us apparated).
But this will make further sense when you go back and read previous entries knowing I am a wizard. When I said we were drinking, clearly we were drinking butterbeer. When we ate a lot, it was chocolate frogs and those beans that taste like everything. (But we really did eat A LOT of popcorn). When I ran in a road race, then now you must understand that it was part of the Triwizard Tournament. Celebrity magazines = The Daily Prophet and The Quibbler. Beer pong = Quidditch. And can you believe that when glass got stuck in my hand, it formed a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt?!?!?
Too bad that we didn't have enough Galleons to play Tripoley and lacked proper transport (aka a designated driver) to get to Diagon Alley. Yet it was a good thing that no one got so drunk that we had to go to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Thank goodness we didn't act on a drunken impulse to prank phone call our parents, or we might have ended up in Azkaban. I'm happy that no dementors showed up and want to give a big shout-out to all of those who keep the Harry Potter Wikipedia entries so well up-to-date and excruciatingly detailed.
Now, while I may have muddled my previous entries on the cousin reunion with Muggle-speak to balance the harmony between the magical and non-magical world, it should not be assumed that the good times had by all were in any way changed. It was just a regular family event with our hippogriffs and house elves. We listened to wizard rock and hid horcruxes all over Kanuga. We defended against the dark arts and practiced parseltongue just for the hell of it.
J.K. Rowling uses a lot of flashbacks in her books, but I'll do her one better and present a flash-forward of what our next family event might entail:
1. Someone peeing their pants
2. Someone crawling into a bed that is not their own
3. Someone eating way too many sausage biscuits
4. Someone acting like a monkey.
5. Someone who is too loud when we are supposed to be quiet!
6. Popcorn
7. People talking about how old they are.
8. People talking about asses.
9. Molly requesting stories about what she was like as a child
10. Someone getting married.
Well, I guess that's about it. So we're wizards. Deal with it. I don't want to brag but since I'm at the 10th installment of this series I've already done three better than J.K. Rowling. Oh….but I just re-read my facebook wall. Apparently I was supposed to be like J.K. Rowling in terms of length of entries. Oh. Maybe I wasn't supposed to say we were all wizards. Yikes. I get so confused. Much like Ron Weasley in dealing with his feelings for Hermione.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Cousin Reunion #8: Zing. Thirds. Cooler than Dang Crap
The title of this post shouldn’t make sense to anyone who wasn't at the cousin reunion. Sorry about that, other readers. But if it's any consolation, it makes little sense to me either at this point. All I know is that those were the things we said over and over while intoxicated.
We're at the seventh of the eleven entries allotted for the cousin reunion weekend, and it's kind of bizarre that I've waited this long to talk about drinking. Sure, I mentioned in the last entry that we ate Wendy's one late night after having had a few, but the subject surely deserves its own post. I would guesstimate that we spent 3/7ths of our weekend eating, 3/7ths of our time drinking and 1/7ths of the time doing random stuff.
Whoa, I don't mean to get off topic here, but when I typed "guesstimate," I really expected this word processing program to mark it as a misspelled word. I didn't think it was real. But it totally is, apparently! According to the online version of Merriam Webster, it's been a word since 1923! I mean, this word processing program doesn't even recognize "amygdala" as a word, and Merriam Webster says that has been a word since 1845 in addition to being an important part of the brain. But it recognizes guesstimate? Life is weird.
Anyways. Time to talk about drinking. It's been kind of a hard post to figure out how to write. Sometimes reading about other people drinking can be boring, especially when I tell you how hilarious it was. Everyone thinks they're hilarious when they drink. But trust me when I tell you that we were SEVEN TIMES MORE HILARIOUS THAN OTHER DRINKING PEOPLE.
An interesting thing about this side of the family, though, is that we really don't need alcohol to have a good time. These cousins act slightly intoxicated most of the time anyways. These are the kind of people who are very loud and wet their pants even without any drinks in them. So what you have to understand is we are already starting at a pretty high level of fun-ness. And so that's why we have so much more fun than normal people when we do drink.
The ability to drink a massive amount is hereditary, I believe, or at least one would think so by watching the previous generations of this family drink. Man, I wish I could remember a time when I did not have an uncle or an aunt or a parent trying to get me drunk. I just can't remember that. My mom sent my brothers and me off to Kanuga with a tub full of jello shots. And she made them when she was hungover. And they were themed jello shots, by which I mean she picked the colors of leaves since we were there for "See the Leaves." I mean, that's the kind of commitment to drinking that this family has made. Also, we had a keg and who knows how many bottles of wine and sweet tea vodka and regular vodka and we reinstalled one of the sinks in the cabin so that it poured out tequila.
I won't go into all the details of what happened while we were drinking, mostly because one of us could possibly run for President one day and might not like all those personal details on the Internet. Suffice it to say, a lot of weird things were said. There is an awful valuable steno pad with drunken quotes out there somewhere. I heard siblings say strange things to one another and cousins share the types of things they have never shared before (and possibly shouldn't share). And I saw, as one cousin put it, an awful lot of ass. People just wanted to shake their asses when they were drunk. Unfortunately, that side of the family has rather flat asses, except for my brother William, which made his ass a subject of much fascination for all of the other cousins.
DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS KIND OF A HARD ENTRY TO WRITE? I AM HAVING TO TYPE THINGS ABOUT MY BROTHER'S ASS!!!
Some drinking MVPs in my book include my cousin Sarah, who showed up to the event hungover like a champ. Also a shoutout to my brother George, the only person who threw up the entire weekend as far as I am aware. I don't think anyone realize that George was quite that drunk, even though he was saying weird things on Friday night and calling out for our future cousin-in-law Brad. He missed Brad. He loved Brad. He wanted to know where Brad was. Maybe he just wanted Brad to help him when he threw up. As it was, his own brother didn't get out of bed to help.
Hmm, I don't know why I'm trying to pick just a few drinking MVPs. Everyone did a great job drinking that weekend. But I have to give a special shout-out to my cousin CATHARINE. While drunk, Catharine revealed she wanted her name in the blog, which probably would have happened anyway. But I told her that her name would not be in the blog if she did not do a certain thing. That, along with some other cousin threats, convinced Catharine, at the age of 40, to do her first keg stand.
Now, let me stop here and say, that if any of Catharine's darling children are reading this, a keg stand is a miserable scary thing that you should never attempt to do with your peers. Wait for a family event and have the cousins show you how to do it.
So anyways, cheers to CATHARINE for her first keg stand and for this quote, the only one that I will, in fact, share: "Do you think if I start drinking vodka and playing beer pong right now my life will change?"
We're at the seventh of the eleven entries allotted for the cousin reunion weekend, and it's kind of bizarre that I've waited this long to talk about drinking. Sure, I mentioned in the last entry that we ate Wendy's one late night after having had a few, but the subject surely deserves its own post. I would guesstimate that we spent 3/7ths of our weekend eating, 3/7ths of our time drinking and 1/7ths of the time doing random stuff.
Whoa, I don't mean to get off topic here, but when I typed "guesstimate," I really expected this word processing program to mark it as a misspelled word. I didn't think it was real. But it totally is, apparently! According to the online version of Merriam Webster, it's been a word since 1923! I mean, this word processing program doesn't even recognize "amygdala" as a word, and Merriam Webster says that has been a word since 1845 in addition to being an important part of the brain. But it recognizes guesstimate? Life is weird.
Anyways. Time to talk about drinking. It's been kind of a hard post to figure out how to write. Sometimes reading about other people drinking can be boring, especially when I tell you how hilarious it was. Everyone thinks they're hilarious when they drink. But trust me when I tell you that we were SEVEN TIMES MORE HILARIOUS THAN OTHER DRINKING PEOPLE.
An interesting thing about this side of the family, though, is that we really don't need alcohol to have a good time. These cousins act slightly intoxicated most of the time anyways. These are the kind of people who are very loud and wet their pants even without any drinks in them. So what you have to understand is we are already starting at a pretty high level of fun-ness. And so that's why we have so much more fun than normal people when we do drink.
The ability to drink a massive amount is hereditary, I believe, or at least one would think so by watching the previous generations of this family drink. Man, I wish I could remember a time when I did not have an uncle or an aunt or a parent trying to get me drunk. I just can't remember that. My mom sent my brothers and me off to Kanuga with a tub full of jello shots. And she made them when she was hungover. And they were themed jello shots, by which I mean she picked the colors of leaves since we were there for "See the Leaves." I mean, that's the kind of commitment to drinking that this family has made. Also, we had a keg and who knows how many bottles of wine and sweet tea vodka and regular vodka and we reinstalled one of the sinks in the cabin so that it poured out tequila.
I won't go into all the details of what happened while we were drinking, mostly because one of us could possibly run for President one day and might not like all those personal details on the Internet. Suffice it to say, a lot of weird things were said. There is an awful valuable steno pad with drunken quotes out there somewhere. I heard siblings say strange things to one another and cousins share the types of things they have never shared before (and possibly shouldn't share). And I saw, as one cousin put it, an awful lot of ass. People just wanted to shake their asses when they were drunk. Unfortunately, that side of the family has rather flat asses, except for my brother William, which made his ass a subject of much fascination for all of the other cousins.
DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS KIND OF A HARD ENTRY TO WRITE? I AM HAVING TO TYPE THINGS ABOUT MY BROTHER'S ASS!!!
Some drinking MVPs in my book include my cousin Sarah, who showed up to the event hungover like a champ. Also a shoutout to my brother George, the only person who threw up the entire weekend as far as I am aware. I don't think anyone realize that George was quite that drunk, even though he was saying weird things on Friday night and calling out for our future cousin-in-law Brad. He missed Brad. He loved Brad. He wanted to know where Brad was. Maybe he just wanted Brad to help him when he threw up. As it was, his own brother didn't get out of bed to help.
Hmm, I don't know why I'm trying to pick just a few drinking MVPs. Everyone did a great job drinking that weekend. But I have to give a special shout-out to my cousin CATHARINE. While drunk, Catharine revealed she wanted her name in the blog, which probably would have happened anyway. But I told her that her name would not be in the blog if she did not do a certain thing. That, along with some other cousin threats, convinced Catharine, at the age of 40, to do her first keg stand.
Now, let me stop here and say, that if any of Catharine's darling children are reading this, a keg stand is a miserable scary thing that you should never attempt to do with your peers. Wait for a family event and have the cousins show you how to do it.
So anyways, cheers to CATHARINE for her first keg stand and for this quote, the only one that I will, in fact, share: "Do you think if I start drinking vodka and playing beer pong right now my life will change?"
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Cousin Reunion #7: A mystery is solved.
One of the great eternal mysteries of life just might be what food you should eat while intoxicated. When I was in college, I was convinced that this food was pizza delivered by the place that accepted meal plan points. But then once students were allowed to have cars on campus, I discovered that the nearest Waffle House was the best choice a drunk person could make at 3 a.m. (assuming, of course, that a designated driver could be procured). In case anyone is wondering, the best thing to order at a Waffle House at 3 a.m. is a sausage melt with hashbrowns scattered, smothered and diced. Maybe peppered if you're feeling crazy. If you wind up drunk in Seattle, a city that lacks Waffles Houses, you go to a place called Dick's where you can get burgers for cheap.
But this weekend I discovered the absolute, hands-down, no questions asked best food to consume while drunk. See, the first night, we had been drinking for several hours, and it had been hours since we had a meal. As you might gather from the posts about meals and snacks at Kanuga, if you went several hours without a meal, you had gone too long. So we started brainstorming with our powerful brains exactly what kind of food we should try to procure. My brother was thinking outside the bun and suggested Taco Bell, but he was shot down in favor of the place that rules the night, Wendy's. Off went a somewhat sober cousin and some drunken support to procure some Wendy's.
I will admit that I certainly didn't plan on solving such a grand mystery of life that night. I didn't have high hopes for Wendy's as a drunken food provider. That's not to say that I don't love Wendy's; if I'm driving down the highway looking for food conveniently close to an interstate, I'm looking for a Wendy's sign and the promise of spicy chicken sandwich with no lettuce. I haven't eaten anything but that from Wendy's in years. So I didn't really know what else they had.
But then my cousins came back with several sacks full of Wendy's dollar menu items. There was a bag of fries as well as a bag of mystery meat items -- chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches and junior bacon cheeseburgers. And when I took that first bite of bacon cheeseburger, I knew I had found the perfect drunken food item. While I did not conduct a scientific poll, I would wager a guess that many of my cousins shared in the ecstasy that was late night Wendy's. Kudos, Dave Thomas. I underestimated you and your junior bacon cheeseburgers.
What a wealth of food we had for 11 people on just 25 dollars! I even had another half of a bacon cheeseburger, though I'm willing to admit that may have been a mistake as I woke up in the middle of the night with a tummy ache. But was that the Wendy's, or was that the alcohol? Or just the general excitement of solving one of the great mysteries of life? Who can say?
Now, while I have proclaimed that Wendy's is the current champion of late night drunken food, I am willing to entertain the option of creating a new king at future cousin reunions, particularly if any contenders would be willing to drive the food out to us for free.
But this weekend I discovered the absolute, hands-down, no questions asked best food to consume while drunk. See, the first night, we had been drinking for several hours, and it had been hours since we had a meal. As you might gather from the posts about meals and snacks at Kanuga, if you went several hours without a meal, you had gone too long. So we started brainstorming with our powerful brains exactly what kind of food we should try to procure. My brother was thinking outside the bun and suggested Taco Bell, but he was shot down in favor of the place that rules the night, Wendy's. Off went a somewhat sober cousin and some drunken support to procure some Wendy's.
I will admit that I certainly didn't plan on solving such a grand mystery of life that night. I didn't have high hopes for Wendy's as a drunken food provider. That's not to say that I don't love Wendy's; if I'm driving down the highway looking for food conveniently close to an interstate, I'm looking for a Wendy's sign and the promise of spicy chicken sandwich with no lettuce. I haven't eaten anything but that from Wendy's in years. So I didn't really know what else they had.
But then my cousins came back with several sacks full of Wendy's dollar menu items. There was a bag of fries as well as a bag of mystery meat items -- chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches and junior bacon cheeseburgers. And when I took that first bite of bacon cheeseburger, I knew I had found the perfect drunken food item. While I did not conduct a scientific poll, I would wager a guess that many of my cousins shared in the ecstasy that was late night Wendy's. Kudos, Dave Thomas. I underestimated you and your junior bacon cheeseburgers.
What a wealth of food we had for 11 people on just 25 dollars! I even had another half of a bacon cheeseburger, though I'm willing to admit that may have been a mistake as I woke up in the middle of the night with a tummy ache. But was that the Wendy's, or was that the alcohol? Or just the general excitement of solving one of the great mysteries of life? Who can say?
Now, while I have proclaimed that Wendy's is the current champion of late night drunken food, I am willing to entertain the option of creating a new king at future cousin reunions, particularly if any contenders would be willing to drive the food out to us for free.
Cousin Reunion #6: A miraculous invention
During the reunion weekend, one of my cousins introduced me to a miraculous invention that I must own. It is a device that makes popcorn. Now perhaps you are thinking that I am talking about the microwave, but oh no, I am not talking about the microwave. Though the microwave is a miraculous invention in its own right as it allows me to stand firm in my decision to not cook.
What I am talking about, though, is a hot air popcorn popper, which my cousin Mary showed me. I had never seen one of these things before, though when I got home from the cousin reunion my parents swore they had one. They couldn't find it though. Suspicious.
Anyways, the thing I liked about the hot air popcorn popper, besides eating the popcorn, was watching all the popcorn explode from the lid to the bowl. It's kind of like a waterfall of popcorn, which, I'm not going to lie, is something that I've dreamed about. Is there a children's book where popcorn rains from the sky? If not, I should start working on that.
And you know, it's not unheard of that popcorn would fall from the sky, because do you know what the magic ingredient in popcorn is? WATER. When the water heats up inside the popcorn, it causes the shell to explode into bubbles of air that coalesce quickly to form that delicious treat that we all enjoy at movie theaters. In the olden days, the water was heated up with oil, but then in 1978, the hot air popper was developed for health reasons. If you heat up the water inside a popcorn kernel with air instead of oil, popcorn has significantly less calories.
BUT WHAT'S THE FUN IN THAT? None. There is no fun in that. Which is why that powdered buttery goop was invented, and also why Mary's hot air popper had this little dish on top where you could melt butter. So butter was melted and salt was added and spells were cast and we had a delicious popcorn treat. The result was so delicious in fact that I helped eat about four bowls of popcorn. Three bowls before dinner and one bowl after. And as I have revealed, meals at Kanuga was nothing to sneeze at.
Other snacks that we ate while at Kanuga included:
--Chips and onion dip
--Pop rocks (it made Grant's eyelids itch)
--Poppycock nutty clusters or something to that effect (the marketing copy made Grant uncomfortable)
--ugly chocolates (that's actually what they were called.)
--M&M's
Also I had a bite or two from a stick of butter that was sitting around after we made popcorn. I'm not proud of it, but it was delicious. I think that the butter just reminded me too much of the popcorn, and there wasn't any popcorn right at that very minute. Maybe some other things as well but mainly I remember that popcorn. In remembrance, here are some interesting facts about popcorn that I got from the internet:
--The earliest popcorn popper ever found was discovered in Peru. 300 A.D. It pre-dates even the Incans. But it was kind of primitive.
--Charles Cretors developed the first true popcorn machine in 1885.
--Orville Redenbacher's middle name was Clarence. He died in a Jacuzzi.
--Popcorn can cause lung disease.
--Popcorn is delicious.
--I got tired of looking up facts about popcorn.
What I am talking about, though, is a hot air popcorn popper, which my cousin Mary showed me. I had never seen one of these things before, though when I got home from the cousin reunion my parents swore they had one. They couldn't find it though. Suspicious.
Anyways, the thing I liked about the hot air popcorn popper, besides eating the popcorn, was watching all the popcorn explode from the lid to the bowl. It's kind of like a waterfall of popcorn, which, I'm not going to lie, is something that I've dreamed about. Is there a children's book where popcorn rains from the sky? If not, I should start working on that.
And you know, it's not unheard of that popcorn would fall from the sky, because do you know what the magic ingredient in popcorn is? WATER. When the water heats up inside the popcorn, it causes the shell to explode into bubbles of air that coalesce quickly to form that delicious treat that we all enjoy at movie theaters. In the olden days, the water was heated up with oil, but then in 1978, the hot air popper was developed for health reasons. If you heat up the water inside a popcorn kernel with air instead of oil, popcorn has significantly less calories.
BUT WHAT'S THE FUN IN THAT? None. There is no fun in that. Which is why that powdered buttery goop was invented, and also why Mary's hot air popper had this little dish on top where you could melt butter. So butter was melted and salt was added and spells were cast and we had a delicious popcorn treat. The result was so delicious in fact that I helped eat about four bowls of popcorn. Three bowls before dinner and one bowl after. And as I have revealed, meals at Kanuga was nothing to sneeze at.
Other snacks that we ate while at Kanuga included:
--Chips and onion dip
--Pop rocks (it made Grant's eyelids itch)
--Poppycock nutty clusters or something to that effect (the marketing copy made Grant uncomfortable)
--ugly chocolates (that's actually what they were called.)
--M&M's
Also I had a bite or two from a stick of butter that was sitting around after we made popcorn. I'm not proud of it, but it was delicious. I think that the butter just reminded me too much of the popcorn, and there wasn't any popcorn right at that very minute. Maybe some other things as well but mainly I remember that popcorn. In remembrance, here are some interesting facts about popcorn that I got from the internet:
--The earliest popcorn popper ever found was discovered in Peru. 300 A.D. It pre-dates even the Incans. But it was kind of primitive.
--Charles Cretors developed the first true popcorn machine in 1885.
--Orville Redenbacher's middle name was Clarence. He died in a Jacuzzi.
--Popcorn can cause lung disease.
--Popcorn is delicious.
--I got tired of looking up facts about popcorn.
Cousin Reunion #5: I review all the meals
All of the last entries about the cousin reunion may give you the idea that all we did was play games and enjoy athletic activity. Honestly, nothing could be further from the truth. Mostly we just ate. We were there for a conference called "See the Leaves," cause it was leaf-changing time in North Carolina, but I’m pretty sure the only leaves I saw were the ones that were along the path that led to the dining hall and back.
Since so much time was dedicated to eating, I thought I'd dedicate a few entries to food. One of the best things about staying at Kanuga is no one has to cook. You just show up at designated meal times and there is a delicious all-you-can-eat meal waiting for you. To show you how good this deal is, I will review all the meals I ate in the dining hall. I might not remember all the side dishes, because after all now it's been a week since I ate them. But have no fear, I remember the important things.
Friday--Dinner
On the menu: A piece of meat that I think was eventually identified as pork, cheesy scalloped potatoes, green beans and I think something else. For dessert there was chocolate cake.
The verdict: This meal was really good when I ate it, particularly those potatoes. I did remark that the sodium content seemed kinda high, and I think that if I'm commenting on the sodium content, then it's probably really too high. When I ate this meal, I rated it very high to my dining companions, but I think it's just because I didn't realize what good meals were yet to come. Still, overall, I will give it a grade of B-.
Saturday--Breakfast
On the menu: It was a buffet of every single breakfast food you can think of! Including blueberry pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, grits, oatmeal, and KANUGA TOAST and probably some other things too! Oh and fruit! There was also fruit.
The verdict: Maybe you are getting concerned that I can't remember all the other things on the breakfast buffet. But I will tell you this--I got one of everything to try for comparison's sake, because that's just the kind of sacrifice I make for my blog. And the reason I can't remember all the side items is because one thing stood head and shoulders above the rest of the breakfast food items, and that thing was the BLUEBERRY PANCAKES. I give those pancakes an A. My least favorite thing I tried was the oatmeal, probably because I didn't take the time to dress it up with accoutrements such as brown sugar, raisins or whatever else you put on oatmeal. I was too impatient to get to those blueberry pancakes. Everything else was like a B-.
Saturday--Lunch
On the menu: Tacos! You could pick from hard or soft taco. After that, all basic taco fixings were available, including ground beef, beans, rice, cheese, salsa, guacamole, even a few jalapenos. For dessert, there were peanut butter cookies or M&M cookies.
The verdict: I had 2 soft tacos with every single topping that was available. I really appreciated Kanuga providing guacamole and jalapenos because I love those two things, but sometimes I feel that they are the first to go when people are planning meals of tacos. For dessert I had the M&M cookie. Overall I give this meal a B+.
Saturday--Dinner
On the menu: It was a fancy buffet night! There was a roast beef carving station, these gigantic shrimp for shrimp cocktail, a pasta that had pepperoni and chicken, a blue cheese salad, an orzo pasta salad, succotash, a vegetable medley and probably some other stuff. For dessert you could pick from several types of cheesecake.
The verdict: This was the best meal of the weekend. I give it an A+++. When I went through the buffet the first time I got one of everything, because, as I said, I had to try everything for the blog's sake. But on my second trip, I realized that there were only three things I needed to focus on: roast beef, the gigantic shrimp and the pasta with pepperoni. Those things really put this meal over the top. The cheesecake was only okay though.
Sunday--Breakfast #1
On the menu: Various pastries and sausage biscuits.
The verdict: The whole reason I went to this breakfast was for the sausage biscuits. Luckily, they didn't disappoint. The sausage biscuits also get an A+++. This is an early breakfast they have before the church service. But if you don't want to go to church, you can just go back to your cabin, pack, and wait around a few hours for:
Sunday--Breakfast #2
On the menu: Another breakfast buffet. There was French toast, breakfast meat that I guess was ham, maybe some other meats, grits, fruit, etc.
The verdict: This breakfast wasn't as good. The French toast was cold and there was nothing that matched the sausage biscuits I had a few hours earlier. Plus I was sad that cousin reunion was coming to an end and we would all have to say goodbye soon. So I only give this meal at C-.
Since so much time was dedicated to eating, I thought I'd dedicate a few entries to food. One of the best things about staying at Kanuga is no one has to cook. You just show up at designated meal times and there is a delicious all-you-can-eat meal waiting for you. To show you how good this deal is, I will review all the meals I ate in the dining hall. I might not remember all the side dishes, because after all now it's been a week since I ate them. But have no fear, I remember the important things.
Friday--Dinner
On the menu: A piece of meat that I think was eventually identified as pork, cheesy scalloped potatoes, green beans and I think something else. For dessert there was chocolate cake.
The verdict: This meal was really good when I ate it, particularly those potatoes. I did remark that the sodium content seemed kinda high, and I think that if I'm commenting on the sodium content, then it's probably really too high. When I ate this meal, I rated it very high to my dining companions, but I think it's just because I didn't realize what good meals were yet to come. Still, overall, I will give it a grade of B-.
Saturday--Breakfast
On the menu: It was a buffet of every single breakfast food you can think of! Including blueberry pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, grits, oatmeal, and KANUGA TOAST and probably some other things too! Oh and fruit! There was also fruit.
The verdict: Maybe you are getting concerned that I can't remember all the other things on the breakfast buffet. But I will tell you this--I got one of everything to try for comparison's sake, because that's just the kind of sacrifice I make for my blog. And the reason I can't remember all the side items is because one thing stood head and shoulders above the rest of the breakfast food items, and that thing was the BLUEBERRY PANCAKES. I give those pancakes an A. My least favorite thing I tried was the oatmeal, probably because I didn't take the time to dress it up with accoutrements such as brown sugar, raisins or whatever else you put on oatmeal. I was too impatient to get to those blueberry pancakes. Everything else was like a B-.
Saturday--Lunch
On the menu: Tacos! You could pick from hard or soft taco. After that, all basic taco fixings were available, including ground beef, beans, rice, cheese, salsa, guacamole, even a few jalapenos. For dessert, there were peanut butter cookies or M&M cookies.
The verdict: I had 2 soft tacos with every single topping that was available. I really appreciated Kanuga providing guacamole and jalapenos because I love those two things, but sometimes I feel that they are the first to go when people are planning meals of tacos. For dessert I had the M&M cookie. Overall I give this meal a B+.
Saturday--Dinner
On the menu: It was a fancy buffet night! There was a roast beef carving station, these gigantic shrimp for shrimp cocktail, a pasta that had pepperoni and chicken, a blue cheese salad, an orzo pasta salad, succotash, a vegetable medley and probably some other stuff. For dessert you could pick from several types of cheesecake.
The verdict: This was the best meal of the weekend. I give it an A+++. When I went through the buffet the first time I got one of everything, because, as I said, I had to try everything for the blog's sake. But on my second trip, I realized that there were only three things I needed to focus on: roast beef, the gigantic shrimp and the pasta with pepperoni. Those things really put this meal over the top. The cheesecake was only okay though.
Sunday--Breakfast #1
On the menu: Various pastries and sausage biscuits.
The verdict: The whole reason I went to this breakfast was for the sausage biscuits. Luckily, they didn't disappoint. The sausage biscuits also get an A+++. This is an early breakfast they have before the church service. But if you don't want to go to church, you can just go back to your cabin, pack, and wait around a few hours for:
Sunday--Breakfast #2
On the menu: Another breakfast buffet. There was French toast, breakfast meat that I guess was ham, maybe some other meats, grits, fruit, etc.
The verdict: This breakfast wasn't as good. The French toast was cold and there was nothing that matched the sausage biscuits I had a few hours earlier. Plus I was sad that cousin reunion was coming to an end and we would all have to say goodbye soon. So I only give this meal at C-.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Cousin Reunion #4: Reindeer Games
I was not the only cousin proving my physical prowess this weekend. There were several ongoing physical activities, mental puzzles and games that I thought I would highlight in this post.
#1: Beer Pong
My brother William built a beer pong table for the cousin reunion. Let me just repeat that. He BUILT A BEER PONG TABLE. I don't even have the words to describe how cool I think that is. It's collapsible, so it can be carried with ease to any function or event, and it was custom lettered for us cousins with "Kink's 11."
In a recent Time Magazine article, Billy Gaines, the host of the World Series of Beer Pong, was quoted as saying: "Beer pong is severely misunderstood. It's a sport. It just happens to involve alcohol. People are not playing the game to get drunk but because they love the challenge of throwing a table-tennis ball into a cup with some type of liquid in it" [source: Time].
If Mr. Gaines is correct, then my cousins just love challenges, and they just hate getting drunk, because we played a lot of beer pong. Cousin was pitted against cousin. Brother against sister. Older people versus younger people. Probably my favorite part was when Catharine and Elizabeth shared the cups of beer while also sipping on their vodka tonics.
#2: Ladder Golf
Once you got your arm good and warmed up, it was time to head outside for a few games of ladder golf. Not to be outdone by William, my brother George constructed this game. It involves throwing golf balls, which have been drilled and placed on either end of a rope, onto a ladder made out of PVC pipe. You get points based on which rung of the ladder you land on and whether the other team knocks your plays off the ladder. To be honest I didn't understand the scoring. I would just throw when it was my turn. To date, Time Magazine does not have any articles on how Ladder Golf is misunderstood but they did think I'd be interested in articles on Super Bowl perks, Morocco and salmon. According to Wikipedia this game also goes by the name hillbilly horseshoes and redneck golf.
#3: Apples to Apples
We all played Apples to Apples. Not a physical game per se, but occasionally you did have to kind of stand up and lean in to get your cards into the center.
#4: Dancing
Some people, especially once they had a beverage or ten, enjoyed dancing. And they just danced and danced and danced. Some particularly good dancers included Catharine and Mary Henry. Catharine gets the award because she danced non-stop once she started. For hours and hours she danced. Mary Henry was more of a wild card, because she'd be lying there talking about how she was going to sleep, and then one particular song came on and she started jumping and taking her clothes off and dancing. Other good dancers that I remember include Sarah, William and Grant. I can't comment on the other cousins. Either I didn't see you dancing because I was hiding in the hood of my sweatshirt, or I found your quality to be shoddy. It's probably the former.
#1: Beer Pong
My brother William built a beer pong table for the cousin reunion. Let me just repeat that. He BUILT A BEER PONG TABLE. I don't even have the words to describe how cool I think that is. It's collapsible, so it can be carried with ease to any function or event, and it was custom lettered for us cousins with "Kink's 11."
In a recent Time Magazine article, Billy Gaines, the host of the World Series of Beer Pong, was quoted as saying: "Beer pong is severely misunderstood. It's a sport. It just happens to involve alcohol. People are not playing the game to get drunk but because they love the challenge of throwing a table-tennis ball into a cup with some type of liquid in it" [source: Time].
If Mr. Gaines is correct, then my cousins just love challenges, and they just hate getting drunk, because we played a lot of beer pong. Cousin was pitted against cousin. Brother against sister. Older people versus younger people. Probably my favorite part was when Catharine and Elizabeth shared the cups of beer while also sipping on their vodka tonics.
#2: Ladder Golf
Once you got your arm good and warmed up, it was time to head outside for a few games of ladder golf. Not to be outdone by William, my brother George constructed this game. It involves throwing golf balls, which have been drilled and placed on either end of a rope, onto a ladder made out of PVC pipe. You get points based on which rung of the ladder you land on and whether the other team knocks your plays off the ladder. To be honest I didn't understand the scoring. I would just throw when it was my turn. To date, Time Magazine does not have any articles on how Ladder Golf is misunderstood but they did think I'd be interested in articles on Super Bowl perks, Morocco and salmon. According to Wikipedia this game also goes by the name hillbilly horseshoes and redneck golf.
#3: Apples to Apples
We all played Apples to Apples. Not a physical game per se, but occasionally you did have to kind of stand up and lean in to get your cards into the center.
#4: Dancing
Some people, especially once they had a beverage or ten, enjoyed dancing. And they just danced and danced and danced. Some particularly good dancers included Catharine and Mary Henry. Catharine gets the award because she danced non-stop once she started. For hours and hours she danced. Mary Henry was more of a wild card, because she'd be lying there talking about how she was going to sleep, and then one particular song came on and she started jumping and taking her clothes off and dancing. Other good dancers that I remember include Sarah, William and Grant. I can't comment on the other cousins. Either I didn't see you dancing because I was hiding in the hood of my sweatshirt, or I found your quality to be shoddy. It's probably the former.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Cousin Reunion #3: I overcome tragedy
Since the last cousin reunion-related blog post included a heartbreaking tale of tragedy, I thought I would next recount a heartwarming tale of triumph from the weekend. This is the story of how I became an award-winning road racer.
Saturday morning, the second day of the reunion, dawned crisp and bright. The fall foliage was blooming. One of the activities at Kanuga that day was a road race and a fun run for kids. Mary Henry, who works at Kanuga, was in charge of timing the races, so some cousins meandered up to watch the event. After some persuading by my cousins, I decided to enter the road race. I figured I needed to prove my family's honor as well as raise awareness for glass-related hand injuries. Also, no one else entered so I had a pretty good shot at winning.
Now, I'm no runner, but I figured 2 miles wouldn't kill me. I ran back to my cabin to change clothes, which I have to admit, winded me just a bit. I put on my special running outfit, which includes sneakers and crepe paper, and then I started off on my two mile odyssey. Grant and William followed behind on a golf cart to make sure I didn't get lost and to cheer me on.
I ran for quite a few minutes in a row without stopping. Then I walked for a little bit. Then we stopped and took pictures in front of the lake at Kanuga. Then I ran some more, then I walked some more. Like I said, I'm no runner, but it was a nice day and it was a pretty course.
The last leg of the race was going down the main road out to the Kanuga sign, then turning around and coming back to finish. I don't know how long that is as I'm bad with spatial distances. But I was walking down to the stop sign, the golf cart ahead of me. When the guys were down at the sign, they got off the golf cart and went over toward another road. I had no idea what they were doing. My first guess was vandalism though they told me later they were just taking pictures.
Well. At this point I didn't want to run anymore. And they had left the golf cart unattended. So I ran over there while they were busy with their vandalism/photography and I stole that golf cart. Grant said that all he could hear at that moment was William saying, "Don’t do it, don't do it!", me laughing and the roar of the golf cart.
Here is an artist's rendition of what happened:
So off I drove, giggling the whole way back up the road. I was seized with a little bit of guilt at having left my brother and cousin so far back on the road but I got over that. Then I had a little bit of guilt of not finishing this race in some rule-abiding form, and I pondered whether I should hide the golf cart somewhere and finish the race on foot. But I got over that too, because I really did run most of it and also I wasn't 100% sure how the golf cart worked. I pulled up to the finish in my golden chariot, ran through the finish line tape and became a road race champion. Some guy told me that my time was pretty good for running a half marathon but whatever. I didn't see him running the road race or stealing any golf carts.
My prize for winning was a water bottle and a boob job. Actually it was just these tiny inflatable balls that said "Fun Run 2008" but I turned them into boobs but that's just the kind of idea that champions have.
Saturday morning, the second day of the reunion, dawned crisp and bright. The fall foliage was blooming. One of the activities at Kanuga that day was a road race and a fun run for kids. Mary Henry, who works at Kanuga, was in charge of timing the races, so some cousins meandered up to watch the event. After some persuading by my cousins, I decided to enter the road race. I figured I needed to prove my family's honor as well as raise awareness for glass-related hand injuries. Also, no one else entered so I had a pretty good shot at winning.
Now, I'm no runner, but I figured 2 miles wouldn't kill me. I ran back to my cabin to change clothes, which I have to admit, winded me just a bit. I put on my special running outfit, which includes sneakers and crepe paper, and then I started off on my two mile odyssey. Grant and William followed behind on a golf cart to make sure I didn't get lost and to cheer me on.
I ran for quite a few minutes in a row without stopping. Then I walked for a little bit. Then we stopped and took pictures in front of the lake at Kanuga. Then I ran some more, then I walked some more. Like I said, I'm no runner, but it was a nice day and it was a pretty course.
The last leg of the race was going down the main road out to the Kanuga sign, then turning around and coming back to finish. I don't know how long that is as I'm bad with spatial distances. But I was walking down to the stop sign, the golf cart ahead of me. When the guys were down at the sign, they got off the golf cart and went over toward another road. I had no idea what they were doing. My first guess was vandalism though they told me later they were just taking pictures.
Well. At this point I didn't want to run anymore. And they had left the golf cart unattended. So I ran over there while they were busy with their vandalism/photography and I stole that golf cart. Grant said that all he could hear at that moment was William saying, "Don’t do it, don't do it!", me laughing and the roar of the golf cart.
Here is an artist's rendition of what happened:
So off I drove, giggling the whole way back up the road. I was seized with a little bit of guilt at having left my brother and cousin so far back on the road but I got over that. Then I had a little bit of guilt of not finishing this race in some rule-abiding form, and I pondered whether I should hide the golf cart somewhere and finish the race on foot. But I got over that too, because I really did run most of it and also I wasn't 100% sure how the golf cart worked. I pulled up to the finish in my golden chariot, ran through the finish line tape and became a road race champion. Some guy told me that my time was pretty good for running a half marathon but whatever. I didn't see him running the road race or stealing any golf carts.
My prize for winning was a water bottle and a boob job. Actually it was just these tiny inflatable balls that said "Fun Run 2008" but I turned them into boobs but that's just the kind of idea that champions have.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Cousin Reunion #2: Tragedy strikes
Now, before I get too far into the tale of the cousin reunion, I feel I should backtrack just a minute and tell you the saddest story ever, of a misfortune that befell me on the eve of this illustrious event.
The night before the cousins were to meet at Kanuga, those of us that were already in town gathered at my Uncle Ken's house for dinner. We had a very nice night with lots of hors d'oeuvres and drinks because that is just how my Uncle Ken rolls. For dinner we had cheeseburgers and for dessert we had a delicious trifle. We were having just the best time.
I had been sitting in the same chair since dinner began, so you would think I was safe from any horrible fate, right? Especially when you consider that I specifically chose that seat so that I would be safe if the chandelier fell or if a snake crawled in from the deck. I was close to the bathroom in case of emergency and I picked a place that I thought would generally be safe from assassins, which is more than I can say for those who chose to sit directly in front of a window. I took every conceivable precaution against any possible horrible fate.
Then, tragedy struck.
I don't remember exactly why I did this--I bet it was to get more comfortable amidst all the sparkling conversation that was occurring--but I ran my hand across the seat of my chair. A sharp stabbing pain! I looked down and saw blood. I'd been struck! Even in the midst of my blinding agony, I knew that there was glass in my hand. I could kind of see it below the bubble of blood that threatened to drench the chair and leave me bleeding to death.
I immediately called out for my mother. Whether she was just intoxicated or truly doesn't love me is anyone's guess, but when I told her there was glass in my hand she dismissed me immediately. The gushing of blood did not move her sympathies in the slightest. "It was probably just a nail sticking up out of the chair," she said. "Just go wash it off."
I raced off. In the back of my mind I wondered why she wasn't immediately on the phone with medical authorities to arrange for a tetanus shot, but I tried to stay brave in the midst of the carnage. I stuck my hand under the faucet, and when the blood was finally cleared away I could see the shard of glass in the palm of my hand. I turned to Uncle Ken and stuck the wound in his face. "Glass!" I shrieked. "Get it out!" Ken was quick as a surgeon and removed the glass. Then he put some apinol on it and then he gave me two shots of vodka.
After that I was pretty much fine for the rest of the night, though I did continue to wonder about my mother's reaction. As my brother George would remind me, though, it was nothing like what happened to him when he was 4 years old. He drove his big wheel through the brush pile and got all the skin on his arm all burned off. When he tried to show my dad, Dad told him just to go in for dinner. But the difference is that when George was 4, he couldn't talk that well, so they didn't know what he was saying. Whereas I am fairly sure that I clearly enunciated. Just to be sure that I was indeed enunciating, I repeated the story of the glass over and over to my cousins the entire weekend. I know they really enjoyed that.
As you can see, I survived my injury and even now, I can type with no shooting pains in my right hand. But it did kind of throb for a minute or two when I woke up on Friday! And I couldn't give high-fives with my right hand the whole weekend! And if the glass had been dirty my hand could have gotten infected and fallen off! The point of the story is that I persevered and overcame tragedy to make it to the cousins reunion.
The night before the cousins were to meet at Kanuga, those of us that were already in town gathered at my Uncle Ken's house for dinner. We had a very nice night with lots of hors d'oeuvres and drinks because that is just how my Uncle Ken rolls. For dinner we had cheeseburgers and for dessert we had a delicious trifle. We were having just the best time.
I had been sitting in the same chair since dinner began, so you would think I was safe from any horrible fate, right? Especially when you consider that I specifically chose that seat so that I would be safe if the chandelier fell or if a snake crawled in from the deck. I was close to the bathroom in case of emergency and I picked a place that I thought would generally be safe from assassins, which is more than I can say for those who chose to sit directly in front of a window. I took every conceivable precaution against any possible horrible fate.
Then, tragedy struck.
I don't remember exactly why I did this--I bet it was to get more comfortable amidst all the sparkling conversation that was occurring--but I ran my hand across the seat of my chair. A sharp stabbing pain! I looked down and saw blood. I'd been struck! Even in the midst of my blinding agony, I knew that there was glass in my hand. I could kind of see it below the bubble of blood that threatened to drench the chair and leave me bleeding to death.
I immediately called out for my mother. Whether she was just intoxicated or truly doesn't love me is anyone's guess, but when I told her there was glass in my hand she dismissed me immediately. The gushing of blood did not move her sympathies in the slightest. "It was probably just a nail sticking up out of the chair," she said. "Just go wash it off."
I raced off. In the back of my mind I wondered why she wasn't immediately on the phone with medical authorities to arrange for a tetanus shot, but I tried to stay brave in the midst of the carnage. I stuck my hand under the faucet, and when the blood was finally cleared away I could see the shard of glass in the palm of my hand. I turned to Uncle Ken and stuck the wound in his face. "Glass!" I shrieked. "Get it out!" Ken was quick as a surgeon and removed the glass. Then he put some apinol on it and then he gave me two shots of vodka.
After that I was pretty much fine for the rest of the night, though I did continue to wonder about my mother's reaction. As my brother George would remind me, though, it was nothing like what happened to him when he was 4 years old. He drove his big wheel through the brush pile and got all the skin on his arm all burned off. When he tried to show my dad, Dad told him just to go in for dinner. But the difference is that when George was 4, he couldn't talk that well, so they didn't know what he was saying. Whereas I am fairly sure that I clearly enunciated. Just to be sure that I was indeed enunciating, I repeated the story of the glass over and over to my cousins the entire weekend. I know they really enjoyed that.
As you can see, I survived my injury and even now, I can type with no shooting pains in my right hand. But it did kind of throb for a minute or two when I woke up on Friday! And I couldn't give high-fives with my right hand the whole weekend! And if the glass had been dirty my hand could have gotten infected and fallen off! The point of the story is that I persevered and overcame tragedy to make it to the cousins reunion.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Cousin Reunion #1: The Saga Begins
This post marks the beginning of an epic blog journey. It is a blog journey of family ties and lost weekends. Of changing seasons and the rapid passage of time. Of mountains and molehills. Of mice and men.
Okay, it is really just a blog journey of one weekend, a weekend that I spent with my cousins and brothers. On my mother's side of the family, there are eleven cousins, and so there will be eleven posts on the subject of this cousin reunion. While this amount of detail may eventually prove too exhaustive for those of you who aren't related to me, market research conducted this weekend reveals that a large part of my readership is made up of my cousins. I'm just trying to play to my base.
Before we go too much further, let me present a crude family tree that will introduce you to the eleven people that inspire these 11 posts. I have written before about my grandmother Kink, who in turn had four children. Kink begat Anna Cay, Ken, Matt and Betsy. In turn, those people begat other children and those are the children we are concerned with:
Anna Cay begat Catharine, Worth and Mary Henry
Ken begat Elizabeth, Mary Ellison and Grant
Matt begat Allison and Sarah
Betsy begat Molly, George and William
Some of those people have gone forth and begat a whole other generation, and that generation is as cute and fun as the one that went before. But as I said, we only care about the 11 cousins. Those were the only people invited to the cousin reunion. No spouses, no kids, no parents.
But how did this cousin reunion come about? With 11 cousins scattered to the wind, living in random locations all over the world, we only come together somewhat sporadically. Weddings, mostly. Dinners when people are in the same town. Years ago, there were joint beach trips, but as my mom was the youngest sibling and didn't start her begatting til pretty late in the whole process, George, William and I have only hazy memories of those and then they stopped as well.
With so many of us and so few occasions to bring us together, you would think that perhaps we wouldn't know each other very well or even get along. The age of these people, after all, ranges from 21 to 40. And being one of the youngest cousins, I can tell you that the age difference seemed pretty big to me when I was a little kid. But as the years have passed, I think we have realized that we all genuinely like each other as people, and not just because we are related. That's just a lucky accident.
So to celebrate that lucky accident, the idea came about a few months ago to meet up and spend time with each other without a wedding or a funeral or some other family event hanging over our heads. Just the 11 of us for the whole weekend, for the first time ever. Even with 11 busy schedules and lives, we settled on a weekend and a place. Over the weekend of Oct 17-19, we gathered at Kanuga, an Episcopal conference center in the mountains of western North Carolina. We had two cabins right next to each other and all meals provided. The leaves were changing and the keg was flowing. We had a wonderful time.
But what specifically happened? Stay tuned for 10 additional entries to find out!
Okay, it is really just a blog journey of one weekend, a weekend that I spent with my cousins and brothers. On my mother's side of the family, there are eleven cousins, and so there will be eleven posts on the subject of this cousin reunion. While this amount of detail may eventually prove too exhaustive for those of you who aren't related to me, market research conducted this weekend reveals that a large part of my readership is made up of my cousins. I'm just trying to play to my base.
Before we go too much further, let me present a crude family tree that will introduce you to the eleven people that inspire these 11 posts. I have written before about my grandmother Kink, who in turn had four children. Kink begat Anna Cay, Ken, Matt and Betsy. In turn, those people begat other children and those are the children we are concerned with:
Anna Cay begat Catharine, Worth and Mary Henry
Ken begat Elizabeth, Mary Ellison and Grant
Matt begat Allison and Sarah
Betsy begat Molly, George and William
Some of those people have gone forth and begat a whole other generation, and that generation is as cute and fun as the one that went before. But as I said, we only care about the 11 cousins. Those were the only people invited to the cousin reunion. No spouses, no kids, no parents.
But how did this cousin reunion come about? With 11 cousins scattered to the wind, living in random locations all over the world, we only come together somewhat sporadically. Weddings, mostly. Dinners when people are in the same town. Years ago, there were joint beach trips, but as my mom was the youngest sibling and didn't start her begatting til pretty late in the whole process, George, William and I have only hazy memories of those and then they stopped as well.
With so many of us and so few occasions to bring us together, you would think that perhaps we wouldn't know each other very well or even get along. The age of these people, after all, ranges from 21 to 40. And being one of the youngest cousins, I can tell you that the age difference seemed pretty big to me when I was a little kid. But as the years have passed, I think we have realized that we all genuinely like each other as people, and not just because we are related. That's just a lucky accident.
So to celebrate that lucky accident, the idea came about a few months ago to meet up and spend time with each other without a wedding or a funeral or some other family event hanging over our heads. Just the 11 of us for the whole weekend, for the first time ever. Even with 11 busy schedules and lives, we settled on a weekend and a place. Over the weekend of Oct 17-19, we gathered at Kanuga, an Episcopal conference center in the mountains of western North Carolina. We had two cabins right next to each other and all meals provided. The leaves were changing and the keg was flowing. We had a wonderful time.
But what specifically happened? Stay tuned for 10 additional entries to find out!
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