I have a long-standing blog tradition, which is every six months, I list all the films that I’ve seen for the first time in the previous six months. It is that time of year again, and even though I am uncomfortably full of cheeseburgers and beer, I shall review the films watched in the first half of 2009. Think about that people. 2009 is half over. What do I have to show for it? Well, for one, I have these 31 films.
1. Made of Honor
When I watch movies with Patrick Dempsey, I get to reminisce about the time I stood less than a foot away from him in Seattle. He was so beautiful. I think he should be in all the romantical comedies.
2. Fred Claus
For a film that included Vince Vaughan, Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey, it probably could have been better. But as a kids’ Christmas film, it also could have been a lot worse. So I was pleased with the effort, particularly the origin story of Santa and Fred at the beginning.
3. Step Brothers
I probably shouldn’t have let myself get my hopes up, because I’ve been burned too badly by Will Farrell and/or John C. Reilly (oh, Walk Hard…). I remember laughing kinda hard at something in this movie, but now I don’t even remember what it was. Probably not a good sign.
4. Smart People
Wasn’t impressed.
5. Definitely, Maybe
Man, combine the charm of Ryan Reynolds and the sassy precociousness of Abigail Breslin, with a few little dabs of Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Banks and Rachel Weisz, and you have a very enjoyable two hours. On the one hand, I was kind of surprised that it wasn’t a bigger hit, but on the other hand, it’s not like I ran out to the theaters and watched it. I watched it on DVD.
6. Night at the Museum
Oh man, I thought I would like it because I like museums, and how can you go wrong with a movie about a museum? But I ended up adoring this movie. Even Robin Williams, who has become fairly annoying in most every movie these days, was enjoyable to watch.
7. Igor
I don’t even remember watching this movie, which is pretty rare for me as far as John Cusack movies are concerned. But I watched it during what was probably my worst week ever in a good long time, and there was so much going on that I think this got crowded out of my brain space.
8. He’s Just Not That Into You
I enjoyed watching this movie, because there were a lot of likeable people in the cast, but my main problem is that the whole premise of the book/movie is that you shouldn’t sit around waiting to suddenly be the love of someone’s life all of a sudden, because that’s not the way things happen. And the movie is built around teaching the characters that, but in the end, they get what they want anyways, even though the book/movie was about teaching them that they couldn’t have those things. Was that supposed to be ironic?
9. The Bank Job
I liked this movie a lot.
10. Iron Man
I liked this movie too, but it was kinda long for my taste.
11. Sunshine Cleaning
It’s definitely a weak movie where plot’s concerned, but I thought Amy Adams was great.
12. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
In some ways, this movie made me wish I was a teenager who lived in New York City. In other ways, this movie made me very glad I wasn’t a teenager anymore. Though if I was a teenager who knew Michael Cera…..well, I could probably deal with that.
13. Zack and Miri Make a Porno
It was okay for what it was. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me that people that destitute would spend so much on equipment and other things necessary for making a porno, but I guess if you can buy into that premise it’s not so bad.
14. Rachel Getting Married
Man, aren’t you glad you didn’t have to go to that wedding? What an annoying wedding, what with all that singing and dancing and the long speeches and the faux intellectualism. I mean, some might say that Anne Hathaway’s character is a train wreck who ruins everything around her, but if I were at that wedding, I’d want some relief from all the pretentiousness.
15. Milk
I don’t know how anyone could have doubted that Sean Penn would win the Oscar. I liked this one quite a bit.
16. My Kid Could Paint That
I liked this documentary very much. It’s about modern art and a four-year-old prodigy, and the questions that start to arise about whether the child actually did the work. Was it the frustrated artist father? I kinda think so.
17. The Wrestler
I had pretty high hopes based on the reviews and wasn’t that blown away. Mainly I was just made uncomfortable my all the staple guns and breaking glass and whatnot. I used to really like wrestling when I was little, because it had all those outsized personalities, but I never really associated it with pain, if that makes sense. More like dancing with storylines. Mickey Rourke was impressive, but I wasn’t outraged at his Oscar loss as some people were.
18. Frost/Nixon
I liked Sean Penn in “Milk” an awful lot, but I would not have been sad if Frank Langella had won the Best Actor Oscar. I wish all movies could have a retired President wandering around in them. Even if it’s not based on fact at all. Here’s how I see this working: two characters have lunch at a café, and discuss an issue of some importance to one of the characters. Then Millard Fillmore wanders by and asks them if they want refills. And you have sort of comforting sense that an ex-president is nearby. Think about it.
19. The King of Kong
I don’t know much about video games, but this documentary about breaking video game records made me briefly care about them.
20. What Happens in Vegas
Sometimes I forget how entertaining Ashton Kutcher is.
21. Patty Hearst
One day, feeling sad that Natasha Richardson had died, I was adding a lot of her movies to my Netflix queue. I noticed this one, considered one of her breakout roles, was only available instantly. Being interested in the story of Patty Hearst, I sat down and watched it then and there. Intriguing. Not the best movie I’ve ever seen, but interesting. Now I’m looking forward to some Patty Hearst documentaries that are in the queue.
22. The Nanny Diaries
I have really fond memories of reading the book “The Nanny Diaries,” which I did while I was studying abroad at Oxford. We had to go on a really long bus trip to Scotland and when there wasn’t any scenery, I read this book and was enchanted by it. I didn’t really have any plans to see the movie, because I’m not the biggest Scarlett Johansson fan, but then I watched the “John Adams” miniseries, and I immediately wanted to see everything that Paul Giamatti had even touched, which is how I ended up finally watching this movie. I have to say: eh.
23. Last Chance Harvey
Sometimes Dustin Hoffman seems so weird and mannered in interviews that I lose all desire to watch him in movies. But with Emma Thompson to balance him out in this endeavor, I was okay. Better than okay actually…somewhat enchanted by this short, sweet film.
24. Wendy and Lucy
I’m not a dog person, so this indie film about losing a dog was a little hard to identify with, but I think Michelle Williams did a fabulous job. But don’t watch it unless you’re up for a good dose of hopelessness.
25. Troop Beverly Hills
I wanted to see Jenny Lewis in her younger days.
26. Pineapple Express
I like it when cast members of “Freaks and Geeks” work together. I thought it was just alright, though.
27. Doubt
Holy cow. Meryl Streep was so good in this movie, I thought. I wish her character could be in every movie too, like the ex-presidents, just wandering around and saying things sharply.
28. The Proposal
This movie made me all warm and fuzzy. I found myself helpless against the combined charisma of Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock.
29. The Doors
This movie made me never ever want to do drugs. I think they should show it to kids who are pondering taking drugs, because I think it would make them not want to do it. I mean, I even felt like I was on drugs while I was watching this movie and I did not feel well afterward.
30. Blades of Glory
I remember finding one line in this movie REALLY funny, but I just read all the Memorable Quotes for this movie on IMDB.com and I can’t find that funny line. I just watched this movie a few days ago, so that’s probably not a very good sign for my memory. But in reading all those memorable quotes, I found another one that I liked:
Chazz (Will Farrell): Mind-bottling, isn't it?
Jimmy (Napoleon Dynamite): Did you just say mind-bottling? Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?
31. Confessions of a Shopaholic
Okay, so I REALLY like the Shopaholic books, so I was bound to be disappointed by the movie, right? Probably, and I was disappointed. Isla Fisher was good, but here were my problems:
1. The love interest did not look or act anything like I pictured.
2. I did not like the filmmakers changing the setting from London to New York.
3. They crammed several of the books together. This does not bother me because I don’t think they need to make a sequel…but it left some gaping holes in plot.
4. Somehow, it’s easier to sympathize and root for a character who shops compulsively when you’re reading her thoughts. When you’re just watching her, it’s very hard to care. A few monologues by Isla does not explain why the character has this shopping problem. Just something that’s easier to read, I guess.
5. That’s all I have right now.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Book #13: Bait and Switch
I don’t know why I decided to read “Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream” by Barbara Ehrenreich. Perhaps it was because it looked like a quick read, and I’m about to dive into a big book. Perhaps because it seems like the kind of book that if you don’t read soon after its published, it becomes too dated to read. Perhaps because I liked “Nickel and Dimed,” Ehrenreich’s most famous book. All I know is that after reading “Bait and Switch,” I’m terribly depressed about the job market and pretty fed up with Barbara Ehrenreich.
Here’s the premise of the book: having gone undercover with the working class in “Nickel and Dimed,” Ehrenreich decides to go undercover with the middle class with a white collar job. She gives herself a few months to find a job in the corporate world, and then she will work at this job for a few more months, to learn all of the corporate world’s secrets, and then she will quit. So she fashions a fake resume and goes about doing the kind of job-searching things that make great book anecdotes, like going to a religious networking event and getting a wacky career coach and getting a makeover.
Now, here’s the thing that made this book so hard to read: Ehrenreich’s immense derision for everything that doesn’t fit within her prescribed world view practically drips off every page. I just kept thinking, man, it must be exhausting to be Barbara Ehrenreich because you never get to have any fun. To make matters worse, one of the places that she did her job-searching was Atlanta, so she took some potshots at Atlanta that seemed a little unfair. Perhaps not unfair, but it just showed how little research she did in the course of her journalistic undertaking. Perhaps research doesn’t make a good book anecdote.
The process of being unemployed and looking for a job is one that many, including myself, can relate with. But it quickly became tiresome reading Ehrenreich’s complaints, particularly when you consider that she really shouldn’t get an interview or a 60k a year job on the basis of her slightly exaggerated resume. Boo hoo Barbara. She rambles for 200 pages and then ends with a call for better unemployment insurance and universal health care. Hope that wasn’t a spoiler for anyone.
While I couldn’t stand Ehrenreich’s condescension to everyone who wasn’t her, I will say that this book was immensely useful in one important way: it made me want to stay at my job for a good long time, if only because this book was like an awful nightmare flashback to what job hunting is like. And I do think that the difficulty of finding a job that pays you enough to live the American Dream is a worthy topic. It’s just not a topic that Ehrenreich should have left her pearl-crusted room to undertake.
Here’s the premise of the book: having gone undercover with the working class in “Nickel and Dimed,” Ehrenreich decides to go undercover with the middle class with a white collar job. She gives herself a few months to find a job in the corporate world, and then she will work at this job for a few more months, to learn all of the corporate world’s secrets, and then she will quit. So she fashions a fake resume and goes about doing the kind of job-searching things that make great book anecdotes, like going to a religious networking event and getting a wacky career coach and getting a makeover.
Now, here’s the thing that made this book so hard to read: Ehrenreich’s immense derision for everything that doesn’t fit within her prescribed world view practically drips off every page. I just kept thinking, man, it must be exhausting to be Barbara Ehrenreich because you never get to have any fun. To make matters worse, one of the places that she did her job-searching was Atlanta, so she took some potshots at Atlanta that seemed a little unfair. Perhaps not unfair, but it just showed how little research she did in the course of her journalistic undertaking. Perhaps research doesn’t make a good book anecdote.
The process of being unemployed and looking for a job is one that many, including myself, can relate with. But it quickly became tiresome reading Ehrenreich’s complaints, particularly when you consider that she really shouldn’t get an interview or a 60k a year job on the basis of her slightly exaggerated resume. Boo hoo Barbara. She rambles for 200 pages and then ends with a call for better unemployment insurance and universal health care. Hope that wasn’t a spoiler for anyone.
While I couldn’t stand Ehrenreich’s condescension to everyone who wasn’t her, I will say that this book was immensely useful in one important way: it made me want to stay at my job for a good long time, if only because this book was like an awful nightmare flashback to what job hunting is like. And I do think that the difficulty of finding a job that pays you enough to live the American Dream is a worthy topic. It’s just not a topic that Ehrenreich should have left her pearl-crusted room to undertake.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Happy anniversary, New Jersey
Almost every day, I check to see what happened on that particular day in history. If I find something that's relevant to me, or something that I'm interested in, I try to write about it. Last week, I was looking at upcoming events in history, and I noted that on June 24, 1664, the colony of New Jersey was founded. That is relevant to me, because New Jersey is where my dad grew up.
The whole family went to New Jersey when we were little, but the only thing I remember is that at the hotel we stayed at, you could get a Belgian waffle with ice cream on top at the breakfast buffet. So I decided to call up my resident expert on New Jersey to learn some interesting factoids about this state. Below, I share my findings:
Molly: First off, the issue on everyone’s mind. How are Tiki and Ronde doing?
Dad: They are fine. They're starting to get a little closer, but there's still some hissing.
Molly: Okay, before we start, I want to make sure you’re really from New Jersey. So tell us what the state insect is.
Dad: Hmmm. Praying mantis?
Molly: I'm sorry, it's the European honey bee.
Dad: Oh.
Molly: Tell us some interesting facts about New Jersey.
Dad: Well, in 1976, the year of the bicentennial, New Jersey was the third largest state, but the most densely populated. Only 37 percent of the state was actually inhabited.
Molly: Why was 63 percent of it uninhabited?
Dad: There are a lot of pine forests, and the meadowlands, a lot of which they've gotten rid of now. Back then it was a swamp.
Molly: Any other interesting facts?
Dad: Well, it's called the Garden State because it's known for its truck gardens. The farmers would put their produce in their trucks and take it to market.
Molly: How did your parents end up in New Jersey?
Dad: My dad had a job in New York City, so before I was born, they lived there. But as my brother and sister started to get older, and when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad decided to move out to the country. And New Jersey at the time was the country. They moved to Westwood.
Molly: What was Westwood like?
Dad: Westwood was a small town that had a railroad running through it. It was a nice little town at that point. It's still a nice little town.
Molly: How does Westwood compare to other towns in New Jersey?
Dad: It was very middle class. In that part of New Jersey, one little town runs into another little town all the way to New York City. Some of those towns were more working class, some of them were very affluence, but Westwood was very middle class.
Molly: What was it like to grow up in New Jersey?
Dad: It was the kind of town that when I was little, I could ride bikes all over town. Things were very accessible. There were a lot of kids in the neighborhood, so it was easy to ride your bike and meet up with everyone to play baseball or to play football or to play army. Or we'd all ride our bikes somewhere together. But there were a lot less diversions back then. There was no internet. There were only a few channels on television.
Molly: You mentioned sports. Do you have a favorite New Jersey sports team?
Dad: This is something that bugs me. My favorite New Jersey sports team is called the New York Jets. They're called that, and they started in New York, but they play in New Jersey at the Meadowlands.
Molly: Did you have to leave the state due to illicit dealings with the mafia?
Dad: No.
Molly: Did you ever see any people who were in the mafia?
Dad: One time I went to a house where the guy had an indoor swimming pool, and that guy was reportedly in the mafia. Then there was a guy across the street, he was the head of a union, and he might have been in the mafia. But when I was in the newspaper when I was little for collecting political buttons, that guy called me over and gave me a button. And now that button sells for like $400 or $500.
Molly: You don't think he was trying to buy your silence?
Dad: Nah, it wasn't worth that much in 1964.
Molly: Well, I hope he doesn't see this blog and try to come after you.
Dad: I'm sure he's dead. If the mafia didn't get him, then old age did.
Molly: If the aliens were to come down to earth, and they wanted to know the best things to see and do in New Jersey, what things would you tell them to see?
Dad: We have great delicatessens and great homemade ice cream stores. We have nice little towns with nice downtown areas. People think New Jersey is nothing but concrete, but I grew up in a small town with white picket fences, the kind of town where I could ride my bike. Then later, I could walk to the bars when I was home from school.
Molly: I know you like state quarters. Do you have any comments on the New Jersey State quarter?
Dad: It's an excellent quarter. It shows George Washington crossing the Delaware from New Jersey to attack the British.
Molly: Are there any other New Jersey historical factoids you'd like to share?
Dad: The area where I was originally home to a lot of Indians, and then it was settled by the Dutch. Since the Dutch settled lots of New Jersey, there are lots of Dutch names up there. It was known as the Pascack Valley, and there was a team that called itself the Pascack Valley Indians. That may be insensitive today, but it was to honor the Indians in the area we grew up in.
Molly: True or false: Bruce Springsteen is the greatest person --other than you -- to come out of New Jersey.
Dad: False. We have lots more interesting people like Bruce Willis. Hold on, I'm going to go get my almanac so I can tell you some famous people from New Jersey. Like Charles Lindbergh. He lived there when his kid got stolen. Now Bruce Springsteen may be a friend of New Jersey, and he's certainly more famous than me, but I wouldn't put him at the greatest.
[Dad is still trying to find his almanac at this point]
Another great thing about growing up in New Jersey is that we had many different nationalities and religions represented. IT was a nice place to meet people and to realize that there were good people from all different backgrounds.
[finds almanac]
Okay, here we go. Some other famous people from New Jersey include Jason Alexander, Samuel Alito, Judy Blume, Jon Bon Jovi, Aaron Burr, James Fenimore Cooper, Danny Devito, James Gandolfini, who grew up in my hometown. Ed Harris, who I played football against. Ed Marinaro, who I also played football against -- he was on Hill Street Blues. Antonin Scalia, Joe Pesci, Martha Stewart. Meryl Streep, who lived the same county. Her father owned a tire store. Woodrow Wilson was one of our governors, even though he was originally from Virginia.
[Dad continues to read from the almanac]
New Jersey is 47th in size. It was the site of many battles during the American Revolution. It was the first state to approve the Bill of Rights. It's famous for its shore -- not the beach -- the Jersey Shore.
Molly: Would you ever want to live in New Jersey again?
Dad: I don't think so. Now it's crowded and expensive and the weather is a lot harsher than it is here. I think I would probably like to live here, but it was a nice place to grow up. Oh! Also, Frank Sinatra and Jack Nicholson are from New Jersey? How do you like them apples? The state motto is "Liberty and Prosperity." And if you had asked me the state flower or the state bird, I would have known those, because I have it on a little trivet in the basement.
The whole family went to New Jersey when we were little, but the only thing I remember is that at the hotel we stayed at, you could get a Belgian waffle with ice cream on top at the breakfast buffet. So I decided to call up my resident expert on New Jersey to learn some interesting factoids about this state. Below, I share my findings:
Molly: First off, the issue on everyone’s mind. How are Tiki and Ronde doing?
Dad: They are fine. They're starting to get a little closer, but there's still some hissing.
Molly: Okay, before we start, I want to make sure you’re really from New Jersey. So tell us what the state insect is.
Dad: Hmmm. Praying mantis?
Molly: I'm sorry, it's the European honey bee.
Dad: Oh.
Molly: Tell us some interesting facts about New Jersey.
Dad: Well, in 1976, the year of the bicentennial, New Jersey was the third largest state, but the most densely populated. Only 37 percent of the state was actually inhabited.
Molly: Why was 63 percent of it uninhabited?
Dad: There are a lot of pine forests, and the meadowlands, a lot of which they've gotten rid of now. Back then it was a swamp.
Molly: Any other interesting facts?
Dad: Well, it's called the Garden State because it's known for its truck gardens. The farmers would put their produce in their trucks and take it to market.
Molly: How did your parents end up in New Jersey?
Dad: My dad had a job in New York City, so before I was born, they lived there. But as my brother and sister started to get older, and when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad decided to move out to the country. And New Jersey at the time was the country. They moved to Westwood.
Molly: What was Westwood like?
Dad: Westwood was a small town that had a railroad running through it. It was a nice little town at that point. It's still a nice little town.
Molly: How does Westwood compare to other towns in New Jersey?
Dad: It was very middle class. In that part of New Jersey, one little town runs into another little town all the way to New York City. Some of those towns were more working class, some of them were very affluence, but Westwood was very middle class.
Molly: What was it like to grow up in New Jersey?
Dad: It was the kind of town that when I was little, I could ride bikes all over town. Things were very accessible. There were a lot of kids in the neighborhood, so it was easy to ride your bike and meet up with everyone to play baseball or to play football or to play army. Or we'd all ride our bikes somewhere together. But there were a lot less diversions back then. There was no internet. There were only a few channels on television.
Molly: You mentioned sports. Do you have a favorite New Jersey sports team?
Dad: This is something that bugs me. My favorite New Jersey sports team is called the New York Jets. They're called that, and they started in New York, but they play in New Jersey at the Meadowlands.
Molly: Did you have to leave the state due to illicit dealings with the mafia?
Dad: No.
Molly: Did you ever see any people who were in the mafia?
Dad: One time I went to a house where the guy had an indoor swimming pool, and that guy was reportedly in the mafia. Then there was a guy across the street, he was the head of a union, and he might have been in the mafia. But when I was in the newspaper when I was little for collecting political buttons, that guy called me over and gave me a button. And now that button sells for like $400 or $500.
Molly: You don't think he was trying to buy your silence?
Dad: Nah, it wasn't worth that much in 1964.
Molly: Well, I hope he doesn't see this blog and try to come after you.
Dad: I'm sure he's dead. If the mafia didn't get him, then old age did.
Molly: If the aliens were to come down to earth, and they wanted to know the best things to see and do in New Jersey, what things would you tell them to see?
Dad: We have great delicatessens and great homemade ice cream stores. We have nice little towns with nice downtown areas. People think New Jersey is nothing but concrete, but I grew up in a small town with white picket fences, the kind of town where I could ride my bike. Then later, I could walk to the bars when I was home from school.
Molly: I know you like state quarters. Do you have any comments on the New Jersey State quarter?
Dad: It's an excellent quarter. It shows George Washington crossing the Delaware from New Jersey to attack the British.
Molly: Are there any other New Jersey historical factoids you'd like to share?
Dad: The area where I was originally home to a lot of Indians, and then it was settled by the Dutch. Since the Dutch settled lots of New Jersey, there are lots of Dutch names up there. It was known as the Pascack Valley, and there was a team that called itself the Pascack Valley Indians. That may be insensitive today, but it was to honor the Indians in the area we grew up in.
Molly: True or false: Bruce Springsteen is the greatest person --other than you -- to come out of New Jersey.
Dad: False. We have lots more interesting people like Bruce Willis. Hold on, I'm going to go get my almanac so I can tell you some famous people from New Jersey. Like Charles Lindbergh. He lived there when his kid got stolen. Now Bruce Springsteen may be a friend of New Jersey, and he's certainly more famous than me, but I wouldn't put him at the greatest.
[Dad is still trying to find his almanac at this point]
Another great thing about growing up in New Jersey is that we had many different nationalities and religions represented. IT was a nice place to meet people and to realize that there were good people from all different backgrounds.
[finds almanac]
Okay, here we go. Some other famous people from New Jersey include Jason Alexander, Samuel Alito, Judy Blume, Jon Bon Jovi, Aaron Burr, James Fenimore Cooper, Danny Devito, James Gandolfini, who grew up in my hometown. Ed Harris, who I played football against. Ed Marinaro, who I also played football against -- he was on Hill Street Blues. Antonin Scalia, Joe Pesci, Martha Stewart. Meryl Streep, who lived the same county. Her father owned a tire store. Woodrow Wilson was one of our governors, even though he was originally from Virginia.
[Dad continues to read from the almanac]
New Jersey is 47th in size. It was the site of many battles during the American Revolution. It was the first state to approve the Bill of Rights. It's famous for its shore -- not the beach -- the Jersey Shore.
Molly: Would you ever want to live in New Jersey again?
Dad: I don't think so. Now it's crowded and expensive and the weather is a lot harsher than it is here. I think I would probably like to live here, but it was a nice place to grow up. Oh! Also, Frank Sinatra and Jack Nicholson are from New Jersey? How do you like them apples? The state motto is "Liberty and Prosperity." And if you had asked me the state flower or the state bird, I would have known those, because I have it on a little trivet in the basement.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Introducing Ronde!!
Even though I was afflicted with a terrible illness on Thursday and Friday, I still managed to make it up to North Carolina to spend Father’s Day weekend with my dear old dad. And boy, am I glad I made it, because something big happened at our house this weekend!
Our Saturday started off normally enough. Dad goes out to breakfast and to the flea market with his buddies every Saturday, but since it was Father’s Day weekend, William, Mom and me went him instead. Breakfast was at J&S Cafeteria, and it was epic. Probably four pounds of breakfast meat was consumed between the four of us. Then it was off to the flea market. Great deals were found by all.
Then we decided to stop by Michaels, the arts and crafts superstore, because there was a seasonal centerpiece that Mom wanted to show me. Michaels is right next to a pet store; two weeks ago, my family saw an adorable little kitten at that pet store and they have not stopped talking about that kitten since. As we pulled into the parking lot, Dad and William agreed that if the kitten was still there, he was coming home with us. Even Mom, who doesn’t like having to worry about new cats coming in and scratching things, said it was okay if the cat came home, mainly because she thought that kitten had long since been adopted.
Well, Dad didn’t even go into Michaels with everyone else. He ran straight to the pet store and guess what—the kitten was still there!! But since flea market days start very early---you have to be at the cafeteria at 6 am so you can get to the flea market before the good things are gone---we figured we weren’t going to be able to hold the kitten, because the adoption ladies weren’t due to show up for a few more hours. This made me sad because this kitten truly was the most adorable cat I had ever seen. Luckily for us, though, an adoption lady showed up early! While you could tell that she just wanted to set up and get things ready, she let us play with the kitten. And, because that kitten was just too cute to give back, she let us go ahead and start the adoption process a few hours early!
Dad had to fill out eleventy billion papers, probably more adoption papers than Madonna had to fill out when she adopted her orphans from Malawi. While he did all the paperwork, William and I traded off holding the kitten and tried to think of some names. Eventually we got to go home, and the little guy was just captivated by the world. So captivated that he pooped in the box.
But now, as loyal readers know, Mom and Dad already have one cat at home that we all dearly love – lil’ Tiki. Tiki is, how you say, spoiled rotten. So she was none too happy to see this little version of herself show up in the house, and I don’t know that we did a great job introducing the two because there was some hissing involved. No one wanted to go with my idea, which was trying to make Tiki think that she had given birth to the kitten. How would I have done that? By getting Tiki so sick that she threw up, then quickly covering the kitten in vomit and presenting it to Tiki. Then she would care for it as if it were her own. Genius, right? Sadly, we did not use this idea.
During the introduction process, my heart was torn in half. On the one hand, the experience brought up some subconscious memories of what it was like to be an only child, the sole apple of my parents’ eye, until one day when they brought my baby brother home. My life was never the same. So I knew how Tiki was feeling. But on the other hand, Tiki has never been that nice to me. She has a tendency to scratch me and never let me pet her, whereas the new kitten had already proved to be an affectionate lovebug. So while I knew how the first cat felt, the second cat was rapidly stealing my heart.
Our Saturday started off normally enough. Dad goes out to breakfast and to the flea market with his buddies every Saturday, but since it was Father’s Day weekend, William, Mom and me went him instead. Breakfast was at J&S Cafeteria, and it was epic. Probably four pounds of breakfast meat was consumed between the four of us. Then it was off to the flea market. Great deals were found by all.
Then we decided to stop by Michaels, the arts and crafts superstore, because there was a seasonal centerpiece that Mom wanted to show me. Michaels is right next to a pet store; two weeks ago, my family saw an adorable little kitten at that pet store and they have not stopped talking about that kitten since. As we pulled into the parking lot, Dad and William agreed that if the kitten was still there, he was coming home with us. Even Mom, who doesn’t like having to worry about new cats coming in and scratching things, said it was okay if the cat came home, mainly because she thought that kitten had long since been adopted.
Well, Dad didn’t even go into Michaels with everyone else. He ran straight to the pet store and guess what—the kitten was still there!! But since flea market days start very early---you have to be at the cafeteria at 6 am so you can get to the flea market before the good things are gone---we figured we weren’t going to be able to hold the kitten, because the adoption ladies weren’t due to show up for a few more hours. This made me sad because this kitten truly was the most adorable cat I had ever seen. Luckily for us, though, an adoption lady showed up early! While you could tell that she just wanted to set up and get things ready, she let us play with the kitten. And, because that kitten was just too cute to give back, she let us go ahead and start the adoption process a few hours early!
Dad had to fill out eleventy billion papers, probably more adoption papers than Madonna had to fill out when she adopted her orphans from Malawi. While he did all the paperwork, William and I traded off holding the kitten and tried to think of some names. Eventually we got to go home, and the little guy was just captivated by the world. So captivated that he pooped in the box.
But now, as loyal readers know, Mom and Dad already have one cat at home that we all dearly love – lil’ Tiki. Tiki is, how you say, spoiled rotten. So she was none too happy to see this little version of herself show up in the house, and I don’t know that we did a great job introducing the two because there was some hissing involved. No one wanted to go with my idea, which was trying to make Tiki think that she had given birth to the kitten. How would I have done that? By getting Tiki so sick that she threw up, then quickly covering the kitten in vomit and presenting it to Tiki. Then she would care for it as if it were her own. Genius, right? Sadly, we did not use this idea.
During the introduction process, my heart was torn in half. On the one hand, the experience brought up some subconscious memories of what it was like to be an only child, the sole apple of my parents’ eye, until one day when they brought my baby brother home. My life was never the same. So I knew how Tiki was feeling. But on the other hand, Tiki has never been that nice to me. She has a tendency to scratch me and never let me pet her, whereas the new kitten had already proved to be an affectionate lovebug. So while I knew how the first cat felt, the second cat was rapidly stealing my heart.
Over a lunch of hot dogs, we decided to name the kitten Ronde. As you might remember, Tiki is named for Tiki Barber, who played football for Dad’s alma mater, the University of Virginia. Ronde is the name of Tiki’s twin brother; the name Oronde means first-born son in Swahili. For the rest of the day, Tiki was moody, while Ronde was adorable.
Since we decided that Tiki should get to sleep at the foot of Mom and Dad’s bed, per usual, so that she didn't feel like she'd been replaced, I got to take little Ronde up to my bedroom for the night. Ronde woke up every two hours, which made me very tired, but every time Ronde woke me up, he’d try to make it up to me by putting his little paws on either side of my face and giving me little cat kisses. Geez. I just don’t know if I’m getting across how frickin adorable this little guy is.
Tiki was none too pleased when Ronde and I emerged the next day; perhaps she thought it was a bad dream and the kitten would be gone in the morning. I had to leave the cats to come back to Atlanta, but I hope that by the next time I return, they’ll have become good buddies. My greatest fear is that Tiki will tell Ronde not to be so sweet to me. But hopefully Ronde will have better persuasive skills, and I will have two cat friends in Candler.
I couldn’t get a great picture of Ronde, one that captures all his cuteness. Here he is with his eyes closed:
And this is not a very good picture of me, but at least Ronde has his eyes open:
And this is how Tiki looked all weekend. She literally shot green lasers of hate at all of us.
And this is how Tiki looked all weekend. She literally shot green lasers of hate at all of us.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
this day in popes
As we all know, I just love popes. In fact, if it seems like I haven’t been blogging too much lately, it’s because I’ve been spending a fair amount of spare time cross-stitching the likeness of Pope John Paul II. If you have never cross-stitched before, I can tell you that it takes hours and hours for it to look like you’ve done anything at all, but it is a good activity to do while you watch junky summer television.
Anyhoo, one of the reasons I’m big on popes is the concept of infallibility, which as super powers go, is a pretty good one. However, papal infallibility is a relatively new concept, brought about by Pope Pius IX. And today we shall discuss good ol’ Pius IX, because it was on this day in history in 1846 that he was elected pope.
Things started getting exciting as soon as Pius IX was elected pope, and I mean that literally, because Pius’s election was confirmed at nighttime, so there was no chance to spread the word about what had actually happened during the conclave. People assumed that this other guy had been elected pope, and as per tradition, the other guy’s pals went to his home and burned all his vestments because he would get new papal ones. Then, the next day, they find out that actually, that other guy wasn’t elected pope. AWKWARD.
Pius IX came into office at a tricky time during Italy’s history – the Risorgimento, or unification of Italy. At first, it looked like Pius IX was a liberal pope in favor of unification, because he did things like install streetlights and railroads, which his predecessor wouldn’t do because he claimed that the world should remain exactly as God made it. Pius also granted asylum to political prisoners and got the Austrians out of Italy. Though he was super popular, Pius IX didn’t want to be some sort of symbol for unification. By 1848, he had given a speech that writer Eamon Duffy, in his book “Saints and Sinners: A History of the Popes,” called “a douche of icy water on the overheated enthusiasm which had surrounded his first two years as pope.” What an awesome sentence.
Anyways, people didn’t like the papal states holding up the unification process, so Pius IX went from super popular to super unpopular. Then Pius IX’s papal minster was assassinated. So Pius IX disguised himself as a priest, which I guess was not really that much of a disguise at all, and fled to Naples. By this point, Pius IX saw people working for unification as working for the devil, while he of course, worked for the Lord. Eventually Pius IX returned to Rome and the papal states fell. This is part of why papal infallibility came about. Because the pope lost so much political power in the transition, many people wanted to grant him increased spiritual power.
But before Pius IX pushed through infallibility for himself, he had some other things to attend to. One of his biggest accomplishments was the dogma of immaculate conception, as well as a publication entitled the “Syllabus of Errors,” which I think we must all agree is one of the most wonderful titles of anything in the history of the world. He was involved in this bizarre situation whereby a Jewish boy was taken from his parents, baptized as a Christian, and then kept away from his parents based on some rule that Christians couldn’t be raised by Jews; one of my pope books includes an anecdote of the pope playing hide-and-seek with the boy under his papal robe, a regrettable description in the light of recent sexual abuse in the church. Pius IX also called Vatican I, arguably in the top two as far as Vatican councils go. Pius IX was the first pope to be photographed, and he also got all this work done while suffering from epilepsy.
However, by the time he died, Pius IX was not liked that much. He spent his last years as the “prisoner of the Vatican,” which is not too bad a gig, and Pius actually did quite a bit in terms of sprucing up St. Peter’s and the Vatican. Still, he considered himself a prisoner because he didn’t like the financial arrangements or power structures that were offered to him after the Risorgimento. When his dead body was being moved to its burial place, people threw rocks at the procession and tried to throw his body into the Tiber River.
Despite all the controversy, though, John Paul II beatified him in 2000; one has to wonder if John Paul II thought that he would break Piux IX’s record as longest-serving pope (after Saint Peter). However, John Paul II only served as pope for almost 27 years, meaning that Pius IX is still the longest-serving pope, at a whopping 31 years and 7 months. The fun facts just don’t stop with Pius IX. Actually, they do. Longest-serving pope was the last fun fact I had at my disposal.
Anyhoo, one of the reasons I’m big on popes is the concept of infallibility, which as super powers go, is a pretty good one. However, papal infallibility is a relatively new concept, brought about by Pope Pius IX. And today we shall discuss good ol’ Pius IX, because it was on this day in history in 1846 that he was elected pope.
Things started getting exciting as soon as Pius IX was elected pope, and I mean that literally, because Pius’s election was confirmed at nighttime, so there was no chance to spread the word about what had actually happened during the conclave. People assumed that this other guy had been elected pope, and as per tradition, the other guy’s pals went to his home and burned all his vestments because he would get new papal ones. Then, the next day, they find out that actually, that other guy wasn’t elected pope. AWKWARD.
Pius IX came into office at a tricky time during Italy’s history – the Risorgimento, or unification of Italy. At first, it looked like Pius IX was a liberal pope in favor of unification, because he did things like install streetlights and railroads, which his predecessor wouldn’t do because he claimed that the world should remain exactly as God made it. Pius also granted asylum to political prisoners and got the Austrians out of Italy. Though he was super popular, Pius IX didn’t want to be some sort of symbol for unification. By 1848, he had given a speech that writer Eamon Duffy, in his book “Saints and Sinners: A History of the Popes,” called “a douche of icy water on the overheated enthusiasm which had surrounded his first two years as pope.” What an awesome sentence.
Anyways, people didn’t like the papal states holding up the unification process, so Pius IX went from super popular to super unpopular. Then Pius IX’s papal minster was assassinated. So Pius IX disguised himself as a priest, which I guess was not really that much of a disguise at all, and fled to Naples. By this point, Pius IX saw people working for unification as working for the devil, while he of course, worked for the Lord. Eventually Pius IX returned to Rome and the papal states fell. This is part of why papal infallibility came about. Because the pope lost so much political power in the transition, many people wanted to grant him increased spiritual power.
But before Pius IX pushed through infallibility for himself, he had some other things to attend to. One of his biggest accomplishments was the dogma of immaculate conception, as well as a publication entitled the “Syllabus of Errors,” which I think we must all agree is one of the most wonderful titles of anything in the history of the world. He was involved in this bizarre situation whereby a Jewish boy was taken from his parents, baptized as a Christian, and then kept away from his parents based on some rule that Christians couldn’t be raised by Jews; one of my pope books includes an anecdote of the pope playing hide-and-seek with the boy under his papal robe, a regrettable description in the light of recent sexual abuse in the church. Pius IX also called Vatican I, arguably in the top two as far as Vatican councils go. Pius IX was the first pope to be photographed, and he also got all this work done while suffering from epilepsy.
However, by the time he died, Pius IX was not liked that much. He spent his last years as the “prisoner of the Vatican,” which is not too bad a gig, and Pius actually did quite a bit in terms of sprucing up St. Peter’s and the Vatican. Still, he considered himself a prisoner because he didn’t like the financial arrangements or power structures that were offered to him after the Risorgimento. When his dead body was being moved to its burial place, people threw rocks at the procession and tried to throw his body into the Tiber River.
Despite all the controversy, though, John Paul II beatified him in 2000; one has to wonder if John Paul II thought that he would break Piux IX’s record as longest-serving pope (after Saint Peter). However, John Paul II only served as pope for almost 27 years, meaning that Pius IX is still the longest-serving pope, at a whopping 31 years and 7 months. The fun facts just don’t stop with Pius IX. Actually, they do. Longest-serving pope was the last fun fact I had at my disposal.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Book #12: Bel Canto
A few years ago, I was at a friend’s apartment, and she had a copy of “Bel Canto” by Ann Patchett sitting in the bathroom. “I love this book,” she said. “But I can never seem to finish it.” Now, having finished up “Bel Canto” myself, I can see why she said that. When I was reading the book, I was completely enthralled. But then, I would put the book down for days at a time and care little what happened to the characters inside, despite the fact that they were in a very life-or-death situation: a hostage crisis. It’s the most leisurely hostage crisis you will ever read about.
Here is the basic plot: a group of notable people have gathered in an unnamed South American country for a Japanese businessman’s birthday party. The attendees think that the Japanese businessman will build a factory in the town, but the businessman is only interested in the night’s entertainment, which is his favorite opera singer. After she finishes singing, terrorists take the group hostage, and the ordeal lasts for months and months, which gives the characters some time to make unlikely connections. While staying suitably vague, I can only say that the way some of the connections panned out only made my stomach hurt, the way your stomach can hurt sometimes for fictional characters that you wish had better endings waiting for them.
Well, here is what I learned about hostage situations from this book:
--It’s essential to have a good translator on hand.
--It’s also good to have wonderful musicians on hand, because they can entertain everyone and unite different people with the common language of music.
--Chess is a good way to pass the time while you’re waiting for your demands to be met.
--Hopefully one of the hostages knows how to cook.
--A priest is also helpful in such situations.
--Use your spare time in captivity to learn foreign languages.
Here is the basic plot: a group of notable people have gathered in an unnamed South American country for a Japanese businessman’s birthday party. The attendees think that the Japanese businessman will build a factory in the town, but the businessman is only interested in the night’s entertainment, which is his favorite opera singer. After she finishes singing, terrorists take the group hostage, and the ordeal lasts for months and months, which gives the characters some time to make unlikely connections. While staying suitably vague, I can only say that the way some of the connections panned out only made my stomach hurt, the way your stomach can hurt sometimes for fictional characters that you wish had better endings waiting for them.
Well, here is what I learned about hostage situations from this book:
--It’s essential to have a good translator on hand.
--It’s also good to have wonderful musicians on hand, because they can entertain everyone and unite different people with the common language of music.
--Chess is a good way to pass the time while you’re waiting for your demands to be met.
--Hopefully one of the hostages knows how to cook.
--A priest is also helpful in such situations.
--Use your spare time in captivity to learn foreign languages.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
$3.25 worth of awesomeness
Tonight I went to a nearby Goodwill because I heard through the grapevine that this particular store location was a good place to pick up quality used books. Well, I only ended up buying one book, but it was a doozy:
It is a book called Molly!!!!!! And here is something freaky: it came out the year I was born. I love the cover of this book more than words can say. I think I am going to keep it on my dresser so that I can style my hair that way.
Now, I admit that I probably would have bought this book for its cover alone, but listen to the intriguing text found on the book jacket:
“Molly” is storytelling at its dramatic best – the fast-paced, engrossing tale of a feisty young Irish girl whose spirit triumphs over poverty and personal tragedy.
Fleeing her fanatical republican family, Molly O’Dowd arrives nearly penniless in London at the end of the nineteenth century. With the aid of a social worker, she escapes the world of East End gambling houses and brothels and invests what little money she has in a typing course – an investment that will lead to the founding of her own employment agency and her establishment as a woman of power and means.
Along the way Molly wins – and then loses in the Boer War – her first love, makes a marriage of convenience, is widowed, and marries again. But her energy and determination never flag, and finally she meets the man who will be her match in business and in love.
From the rough-and-tumble world of the London docks to the luxurious hotels and restaurants of the fashionable West End, “Molly” captures the temper of the times – the unrest of the laboring classes, the courage of the suffragette movement, the ravages of the First World War. And through it all moves one of the most appealing and fully realized heroines in years: the indomitable Molly O’Dowd.
Can you believe that? And that’s just the book jacket!! Who knows how much more plot acclaimed author Teresa Crane stuck into this book?!?! It sounds like that Molly really gets around. Even if I never read this book, the book cover and jacket description make it well worth the $1.25 I spent on it.
Then, even though it seemed like my night couldn’t get any better, I wandered into the dollar store that was next door to the Goodwill. And there, I found some outfits for my bears Barnabas and Chester. For just $2, I was able to outfit an ENTIRE BEAR ARMY. Dressed like this, these bears will CONQUER THE WORLD.
Now, I do think that the material of Barnabas’s outfit is the same kind of material used for those kids’ pajamas that would spontaneously combust. So he might have to sleep out on the couch when he’s wearing his army outfit. But the real find, I think, is Chester’s outfit. While Barnabas is sort of a standard size bear as far as clothing goes, Chester is not. So far he only has an Appalachian State t-shirt to wear. He is petite, yet he has big hips. I’m not exactly sure what other stuffed animals or dolls this army outfit could fit, so I guess the only way to describe it is Chester–size. Though, since the outfit doesn’t have any Velcro, I’m not sure it will ever come off. So Chester Bear, you are in the army for life.
This is Chester trying to comfort fictional Molly, after he heard about her tragic loss in the Boer War:
And that is how you entertain yourself for hours with only $3.25. Plus tax.
It is a book called Molly!!!!!! And here is something freaky: it came out the year I was born. I love the cover of this book more than words can say. I think I am going to keep it on my dresser so that I can style my hair that way.
Now, I admit that I probably would have bought this book for its cover alone, but listen to the intriguing text found on the book jacket:
“Molly” is storytelling at its dramatic best – the fast-paced, engrossing tale of a feisty young Irish girl whose spirit triumphs over poverty and personal tragedy.
Fleeing her fanatical republican family, Molly O’Dowd arrives nearly penniless in London at the end of the nineteenth century. With the aid of a social worker, she escapes the world of East End gambling houses and brothels and invests what little money she has in a typing course – an investment that will lead to the founding of her own employment agency and her establishment as a woman of power and means.
Along the way Molly wins – and then loses in the Boer War – her first love, makes a marriage of convenience, is widowed, and marries again. But her energy and determination never flag, and finally she meets the man who will be her match in business and in love.
From the rough-and-tumble world of the London docks to the luxurious hotels and restaurants of the fashionable West End, “Molly” captures the temper of the times – the unrest of the laboring classes, the courage of the suffragette movement, the ravages of the First World War. And through it all moves one of the most appealing and fully realized heroines in years: the indomitable Molly O’Dowd.
Can you believe that? And that’s just the book jacket!! Who knows how much more plot acclaimed author Teresa Crane stuck into this book?!?! It sounds like that Molly really gets around. Even if I never read this book, the book cover and jacket description make it well worth the $1.25 I spent on it.
Then, even though it seemed like my night couldn’t get any better, I wandered into the dollar store that was next door to the Goodwill. And there, I found some outfits for my bears Barnabas and Chester. For just $2, I was able to outfit an ENTIRE BEAR ARMY. Dressed like this, these bears will CONQUER THE WORLD.
Now, I do think that the material of Barnabas’s outfit is the same kind of material used for those kids’ pajamas that would spontaneously combust. So he might have to sleep out on the couch when he’s wearing his army outfit. But the real find, I think, is Chester’s outfit. While Barnabas is sort of a standard size bear as far as clothing goes, Chester is not. So far he only has an Appalachian State t-shirt to wear. He is petite, yet he has big hips. I’m not exactly sure what other stuffed animals or dolls this army outfit could fit, so I guess the only way to describe it is Chester–size. Though, since the outfit doesn’t have any Velcro, I’m not sure it will ever come off. So Chester Bear, you are in the army for life.
This is Chester trying to comfort fictional Molly, after he heard about her tragic loss in the Boer War:
And that is how you entertain yourself for hours with only $3.25. Plus tax.Sunday, June 7, 2009
for your screensaver consideration
Though my last post is a lot of babble about how tired I am and how the world is going to end and a lot of photos of the weird statues that live in the Atlanta Botanical Garden, I did see some mighty lovely things this morning. Here are the best of my pretty flower photos:
(To be honest, I took a lot of pictures of bluish flowers that I liked better than the red flowers above. But those didn't come out as well. So this picture got a sort of symbolic nod.)
Impossible to capture the color of these beautiful orchids!
I like to think this sign meant, "hey, don't miss that incredibly handsome bronze statue behind you," with hot being a measure of appearance as opposed to temperature. Or I would like it if this sign meant "obey the bronze statues."
(To be honest, I took a lot of pictures of bluish flowers that I liked better than the red flowers above. But those didn't come out as well. So this picture got a sort of symbolic nod.)
Impossible to capture the color of these beautiful orchids!
This next picture doesn't have pretty flower per se, but a funny sign. Right now, there's an exhibition of Henry Moore statues, which necessitates a sign that says "Mind the hot bronze!"
I like to think this sign meant, "hey, don't miss that incredibly handsome bronze statue behind you," with hot being a measure of appearance as opposed to temperature. Or I would like it if this sign meant "obey the bronze statues."
squirrel burgers
I did not sleep very well at all last night. I only got a few hours of sleep, and most of those hours were spent dreaming that the end of the world had come. I guess we were all getting ready to head into some sort of nuclear winter scenario, so everyone was trying to make an end of the world survival bag, which would have some necessities to get us through. I remember I was really focused on trying to get a toothbrush for my survival bag, and then I went to a “Build Your Bag” party sponsored by some celebrities, and the celebrities had nothing useful to offer for the bags. I kept trying to tell them what nuclear winter would actually be like, based on my reading of Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.” Then, this guy I went to high school with showed up and we decided to go watch a boat race, because what better way to celebrate the end of the world than a boat race with a guy you haven’t seen in nine years? But it was a terribly sad boat race, because everyone was upset about nuclear winter.
As you can tell, I had a pretty rough night, and I woke up very early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Eventually, the sun rose and businesses started opening so I figured it might be nice to go outside and try to calm down a bit. It was also the free museum weekend sponsored by Bank of America, so eventually I ended up at the Atlanta Botanical Garden.
Usually, the garden is crowded, but since I was there so early, there was no one there, I started to get kind of nervous that maybe the world had ended and that I was the only person still alive. For the first hour or so I was there, the only person I saw was literally made of stone! Like the people at Pompeii, she was frozen in time.
Just like this creepy little boy, who I guess spent his last minutes on earth naked and holding frogs.
Everywhere I turned, things had been turned to stone. No humans anywhere.
Well, except for their decapitated heads under trees!
Here was a stone thing I found comforting, though: A frog sitting on a bench pondering the end of the world.
Normally I’m not a fan of holding one’s arm out to take a picture of oneself, but since there was no around, I kinda wanted evidence that I still existed. I went for it:
While I was sitting there, trying to ask the frog about potential food sources, I did spot something living – a squirrel. Good news, everybody, squirrel meat!
But I was still creeped out. WHERE WAS EVERYBODY? Not helping matters, I don’t know a lot about how to take pictures, which means that I probably don’t angle properly in terms of light, which meant that there was this kind of reflection-y glow in my pictures, which made it look like THERE WERE GHOSTS IN THE PICTURES!!!!!!!!!
Luckily, though, I found our new overlords, and they seemed friendly enough.
As you can tell, I had a pretty rough night, and I woke up very early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Eventually, the sun rose and businesses started opening so I figured it might be nice to go outside and try to calm down a bit. It was also the free museum weekend sponsored by Bank of America, so eventually I ended up at the Atlanta Botanical Garden.
Usually, the garden is crowded, but since I was there so early, there was no one there, I started to get kind of nervous that maybe the world had ended and that I was the only person still alive. For the first hour or so I was there, the only person I saw was literally made of stone! Like the people at Pompeii, she was frozen in time.
Just like this creepy little boy, who I guess spent his last minutes on earth naked and holding frogs.
Everywhere I turned, things had been turned to stone. No humans anywhere.
Well, except for their decapitated heads under trees!
Here was a stone thing I found comforting, though: A frog sitting on a bench pondering the end of the world.
Normally I’m not a fan of holding one’s arm out to take a picture of oneself, but since there was no around, I kinda wanted evidence that I still existed. I went for it:
While I was sitting there, trying to ask the frog about potential food sources, I did spot something living – a squirrel. Good news, everybody, squirrel meat!But I was still creeped out. WHERE WAS EVERYBODY? Not helping matters, I don’t know a lot about how to take pictures, which means that I probably don’t angle properly in terms of light, which meant that there was this kind of reflection-y glow in my pictures, which made it look like THERE WERE GHOSTS IN THE PICTURES!!!!!!!!!
Luckily, though, I found our new overlords, and they seemed friendly enough.
Finally, finally, after I walked around for awhile, I started seeing other people walking around. There were a lot of young families, dressed up all preppy and trying to get artsy photos of their children with the flowers and the statues. I felt better about the world immediately. Clearly, everything was still right in this weird world of ours. So I went to the grocery store, bought some eggs, and came home to make a veggie omelet. Hopefully I will get better sleep tonight.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Both sides of an issue: Do mosquito bites confer super powers?
People, I don’t mind telling you that I am COVERED in mosquito bites. COVERED. From what I can gather, the mosquitoes needed my blood so they could break it down into amino acids and lay eggs or something. But what about me? Do I get anything out of the deal?
So I asked myself, “Molly, what would you like to get out of this deal?” And I quickly came to an answer: super powers. So today I pondered this question: What is the likelihood that mosquito bites can confer super powers? My conclusions follow.
Yes—Mosquito bites confer super powers.
--If a spider bite gives Spiderman power, than surely a mosquito bite does something.
--The constant itching clears our mind and forces all distractions out of the way, thus leaving us open for greatness.
--The scary appearance of huge red bumps keeps people, including potential enemies, away.
--Sucking blood is a pretty powerful thing if all these vampires are to be believed.
--Why else would Bill Gates want to get rid of them?
--I’m intrigued by the word “thorax.” (this was more just a thought I had when I was reading the Wikipedia page on mosquitoes.)
--Ready-made costume: mosquito nets?
--Malaria would be a good name for a superhero.
-- Larviciding sounds more ominous than Kryptonite, thus giving the superhero a realistic achilles’ heel
No—There is no way that mosquito bites can confer super powers.
--Too busy itching to really put up a good fight against possible enemies
--An infectious disease is not a super power, Molly.
--Mosquitoes can lay like hundreds of eggs at a time. If they haven’t already banded together to take over the world, they’re probably incapable of doing so, and the probably won’t share their life force with humans.
--Mosquitoes are pretty tiny.
--Nectar = empty calories
--I have not really developed any super powers as of yet.
--The natural predator of mosquitoes is the dragonfly, which is a much better name. If there is any insect that can confer super powers, then it is probably the dragonfly.
So after a good 15 minutes of hard thinking, the tally stands 9 in favor of mosquito bites conferring super powers, with 7 items on the other side. More studies are needed.
So I asked myself, “Molly, what would you like to get out of this deal?” And I quickly came to an answer: super powers. So today I pondered this question: What is the likelihood that mosquito bites can confer super powers? My conclusions follow.
Yes—Mosquito bites confer super powers.
--If a spider bite gives Spiderman power, than surely a mosquito bite does something.
--The constant itching clears our mind and forces all distractions out of the way, thus leaving us open for greatness.
--The scary appearance of huge red bumps keeps people, including potential enemies, away.
--Sucking blood is a pretty powerful thing if all these vampires are to be believed.
--Why else would Bill Gates want to get rid of them?
--I’m intrigued by the word “thorax.” (this was more just a thought I had when I was reading the Wikipedia page on mosquitoes.)
--Ready-made costume: mosquito nets?
--Malaria would be a good name for a superhero.
-- Larviciding sounds more ominous than Kryptonite, thus giving the superhero a realistic achilles’ heel
No—There is no way that mosquito bites can confer super powers.
--Too busy itching to really put up a good fight against possible enemies
--An infectious disease is not a super power, Molly.
--Mosquitoes can lay like hundreds of eggs at a time. If they haven’t already banded together to take over the world, they’re probably incapable of doing so, and the probably won’t share their life force with humans.
--Mosquitoes are pretty tiny.
--Nectar = empty calories
--I have not really developed any super powers as of yet.
--The natural predator of mosquitoes is the dragonfly, which is a much better name. If there is any insect that can confer super powers, then it is probably the dragonfly.
So after a good 15 minutes of hard thinking, the tally stands 9 in favor of mosquito bites conferring super powers, with 7 items on the other side. More studies are needed.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Book #11: Around the Bloc
Here’s a disgusting anecdote to start off this book review: I have some brown and tan candles in my bathroom. Yesterday evening, as they were burning, one of the brownest candles overflowed and wax started leaking everywhere. I didn’t notice for about an hour, which meant there was plenty of time for brown wax to accumulate and make it look like someone living in my apartment had severe bathroom issues. I think it was my fish, Alvin.
I start with this gross anecdote about candle wax because I don’t actually have a whole lot to say about the book I just finished, which was written by Stephanie Elizondo Griest and titled: “Around the Bloc: My Life in Moscow, Beijing, and Havana.” The book covers Griest’s time studying abroad in Moscow, working for a newspaper in Beijing and taking a quickie holiday to Havana. Since they are/were Communist countries, Griest has a nifty little link for tying them all together.
There were some moments when this book was pretty interesting and made me want to pack up a backpack and just get out of town. However, when people in their very early twenties travel the world and write about it, they have the tendency to become annoying very very quickly. Perhaps if I had been a few years younger when I read this book, I would have had more sympathy for all of the writer’s whining about her identity and how she couldn’t witness any revolutions and how people were just not acting like she was expecting them to. It all struck me as very selfish and immature, which is probably what my travel journal would sound like to an outside reader. But hey, I didn’t publish mine, and this girl did. So much of it also felt calculated, because people spoke in incredibly unrealistic profundities all the time and I have the sense that perhaps certain episodes were inflated to serve the author’s sense of who she is/was.
All in all, though, that’s kind of the nature of the beast when you’re abroad at that age, I think. You need things to be amazingly profound and you just think about yourself all the time. I would like to think I was an exception to that rule, though, because when I studied abroad in Italy, I didn’t think about myself all the time. I thought about popes all the time.
Even though I am being kinda negative about this book, I still had a decent enough time reading it. The author did have some interesting experiences and anecdotes even despite all her self-importance. And man oh man, let’s hope this author doesn’t have a Google alert for herself set up! Even though I bitch about travel literature sometimes, it’s still a big weakness of mine, if only for those rare moments in the book that capture the funny and the unexpected of traveling. So if you travel to some interesting places and then plunk your experiences in the travel literature section of the bookstore, I am probably going to get to it at some point or another. For now, though, I gotta go clean up some candle wax.
I start with this gross anecdote about candle wax because I don’t actually have a whole lot to say about the book I just finished, which was written by Stephanie Elizondo Griest and titled: “Around the Bloc: My Life in Moscow, Beijing, and Havana.” The book covers Griest’s time studying abroad in Moscow, working for a newspaper in Beijing and taking a quickie holiday to Havana. Since they are/were Communist countries, Griest has a nifty little link for tying them all together.
There were some moments when this book was pretty interesting and made me want to pack up a backpack and just get out of town. However, when people in their very early twenties travel the world and write about it, they have the tendency to become annoying very very quickly. Perhaps if I had been a few years younger when I read this book, I would have had more sympathy for all of the writer’s whining about her identity and how she couldn’t witness any revolutions and how people were just not acting like she was expecting them to. It all struck me as very selfish and immature, which is probably what my travel journal would sound like to an outside reader. But hey, I didn’t publish mine, and this girl did. So much of it also felt calculated, because people spoke in incredibly unrealistic profundities all the time and I have the sense that perhaps certain episodes were inflated to serve the author’s sense of who she is/was.
All in all, though, that’s kind of the nature of the beast when you’re abroad at that age, I think. You need things to be amazingly profound and you just think about yourself all the time. I would like to think I was an exception to that rule, though, because when I studied abroad in Italy, I didn’t think about myself all the time. I thought about popes all the time.
Even though I am being kinda negative about this book, I still had a decent enough time reading it. The author did have some interesting experiences and anecdotes even despite all her self-importance. And man oh man, let’s hope this author doesn’t have a Google alert for herself set up! Even though I bitch about travel literature sometimes, it’s still a big weakness of mine, if only for those rare moments in the book that capture the funny and the unexpected of traveling. So if you travel to some interesting places and then plunk your experiences in the travel literature section of the bookstore, I am probably going to get to it at some point or another. For now, though, I gotta go clean up some candle wax.
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