Poll #5 Results

We had a special BAM(H)! POW! SOB! poll this week!

Here was the poll:
Mary Henry and Brad’s favorite thing to do:
-Making jewelry and selling it at local fairs and festivals
-Auditioning for reality television programs
-Getting things pierced
-Reading books about zoology

Results:
0% chose making jewelry. That one was a trick because while Mary Henry and Brad just adore making jewelry, they don’t sell it at local fairs and festivals. They keep it all for themselves and their stuffed animals.

63% chose auditioning for reality television programs. I think they audition for all kinds of television programs, including soap operas, game shows, and hospital dramas, but it does seem like they have a special affinity for realty programming, in particular the work of Mike Rowe.

27% chose getting things pierced. If this is true, then I do not want to know too much about it.

9% chose reading books about zoology. Congratulations! If you chose this one, you chose correctly. Brad and Mary Henry just love zoos and animals and they really just go cuckoo for books on those subjects. I’m really sorry that more people didn’t pick this option. I know I did.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the poll. That was the last poll for the year 2007. Polls will return again in 2008.

Poll #4 Results: Burritos

Poll #4 asked, which ingredient is the best ingredient in a burrito. The winner was cheese, with 60% of the vote. I think that’s pretty understandable, because cheese is delicious in most every circumstance but particularly when paired with the other ingredients in a burrito. Somewhat surprisingly, beans came in second with 40% of the vote. While beans do make up a large percentage of the burrito, and undoubtedly are responsible for making a person feel full, I have to say that if I were to eat a burrito without beans, I might not notice. Subquestion: what kind of beans do you prefer in a burrito? Me, I prefer black.

All of the other options (meat, pico de gallo, guacamole, salsa, and sour cream) came in with 20% of the vote each. To me, the big surprise here was the lack of support shown to guacamole. I’ll tip my hand a little here and say that guacamole is my favorite ingredient in a burrito, but perhaps it’s a little handicapped in this race because many burrito vendors do not necessarily view guacamole as an essential ingredient. In many cases, this relegates the guacamole to an add-on status, and many may not pay the extra to have it added to the burrito. I’m also surprised that meat didn’t do as well as others ingredients. I find meat to be very crucial. Subquestion: what kind of meat do you prefer in a burrito? If it’s a special occasion, and if I know they have it, I’ll go steak. But I like chicken as well.

Fun facts about burritos:
-Burrito means “little donkey” in Spanish.
-American-style burritos are typically larger than Mexican-style burritos.
-Breakfast burritos are delicious.
-Juan Mendez is credited with inventing the burrito, but don’t confuse that Juan Mendez with the Juan Mendez that is in the United Nations.

Poll #3 Results

Well, I hope everyone got a chance to vote in Poll #3, because I am about to share the results. As usual, these results provide a fascinating glimpse at who we are as human beings, and the issues that unite and divide us.

First, the poll read as follows:

All I want for Christmas is--
-My two front teeth
-You
-A teddy bear with a potentially blasphemous name
-For my father to see what life would be like had he never lived, which will hopefully lead to his redemption and to my neighbors giving us money
-I’m _______________ (insert faith that does not celebrate Christmas), and this poll offends me.

The teddy bear was the overwhelming winner in this poll, with a whopping 83% of the vote. I think this shows that readers of my blog are well-educated people who follow current events, which does make me wonder if I should make my blog more topical.

With 16% of the vote, “you” was the only other entry that garnered any votes, and I think that whoever voted for this option would agree that regardless of what you think of Mariah Carey at non-holiday times, “All I Want for Christmas is You” is a pretty awesome song.

Clearly, no one thinks that “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” is an awesome song, because it received 0% of the votes. It is a pretty annoying song. Also, I am going to assume that all my readers have their two front teeth and felt that voting for such an option would be redundant.

0% of readers wanted their father to see what life would be like had he never lived, which I interpret to mean that you people either hate your fathers, or hate Jimmy Stewart, or perhaps even hate yourselves. You know, some angel was going to get their wings for every person who selected this option, but now, NO angels will get wings, ever. Way to go, people.

0% of my readers responded that they were part of a faith that did not celebrate Christmas, which might mean that I am lacking in diversity among my blog readers but I guess it’s just as well because I guess now I can tell dirty Hanukkah jokes if I want to. Not that I want to. But I can.

Okay, Poll #4 is up, and it just might be the most exciting poll in the history of the world! Be sure to vote!

Poll #2 Results

Well, Poll #2 is closed now. I learned a lot about what everyone has been up to these days. Thanks to everyone for participating.

Poll #2: What have you been up to these days?
-Same old, same old
-Eating my weight in cheese
-Getting used to the witness protection program
-I got the pox (chicken, small, or monkey)

20% of participants have just been up to same old, same old. My advice to you is to shake it up a little bit! Maybe buy a new party dress or quit your job or pick a fight with your significant other. These things are sure to create drama and excitement!

60% of participants have been eating their weight in cheese. To these people, I say, good work! Cheese is a delicious item. Have you been eating stinky cheese, or non-stinky cheese? What country does most of your cheese come from? Once I was trying to find some cheese from Germany for a German-themed party, and boy, I don't think I could find any cheese from Germany! Do you think that's a lingering effect of the Cold War? I encourage everyone who has been eating their weight in cheese to leave a comment with what kind of cheese they have been enjoying.

0% of participants are getting used to the witness protection program. I'm glad no one selected this option. It was actually a test. People in the witness protection program probably shouldn't participate in polls that involve identifying themselves as protected witnesses, because then shadowy types could track you down through your IP address or something. So I'm glad all of my readers who are in the witness protection program were wise enough not to select this option.

40% of participants have been dealing with pox of some type. To these readers, I say, I'm sorry, and I hope you feel better soon. Don't scratch. Take comfort in the fact that you are in good company, for Abraham Lincoln suffered from smallpox in 1863. He probably had it when he delivered the Gettysburg Address. What are you doing?


Okay, get ready for the next poll! Vote early and vote often!

Poll #1 Results

Thank you to everyone who voted in the first poll. The results are in. Below I will interpret the results and tell you what's right or wrong with your thinking.

What do you think?
I think beer should be served in fast food restaurants. - 42% of the vote
Pro: Beer is delicious in all circumstances and particularly with items such as burgers, tacos, and fried chicken items that are prominent in fast food restaurants.
Con: If you are eating fast food, you are probably driving or about to drive. Drinking and driving just doesn't mix, folks.

I think the world would be better if there were no telephones. - 28% of the vote
Pro: No one likes to hear other people's telephone conversations on the bus or in the airport or in any place where people talk too loud, as it seems that people have gotten more and more boring these days. It's easy to get stuck talking to people you'd rather not talk to. There are annoying cell phone commercials.
Con: If there were no phones, and written communication came back into dominance, I'd have to deal with poor spellers, and poor spellers annoy me.

I think dinosaurs are awesome. - 42% of the vote
Pro: They do look pretty cool.
Con: They could stomp on you and eat you. Possibly slimy.

I think dinosaurs got what they deserved. - 14% of the vote
Pro: If they were still alive, they could stomp on you and eat you.
Con: No one deserves mass extinction.

Libraries for all! - 28% of the vote
Pro: Libraries foster a passion for the world.
Con: None.

Be sure to vote in the next poll!