Two of my most trusted sources of information include the internet and the public library. Tonight I was using the internet to look up stuff in the library, and I asked the library search engine the question that I ask most people these days, which is "where should I live?" I guess I was hoping that I would get something like a catalogue of towns and I could pick one out and then order me up a job or something.
Rather, I got these 9 results, and now I have even less of an idea of what I am supposed to do:
1. How to set his thighs on fire: 86 red-hot lessons on love, life, men & (especially) sex, by Kate White
Obviously I was a bit surprised that this was the very first result. Turns out that my question made up some key words in chapter titles:
--5 other spots where a guy loves to be touched
--How soon before you should sleep with him//You really should take what a guy says literally
--The best tip I got from a Hollywood stylist
--Live five feet ahead of yourself
This book also has these chapters, unrelated to my question but interesting looking all the same:
--To knock someone's socks off, rent a herd of buffalo
--Discover the thrill of no pantyhose
--How to look as sexy as JLo
--Why you need to drain the swamp as you slay the alligators
--When you need to strut your stuff, wear stilettos
--How to get awesome cleavage
--Think like a bitch but talk as sweet as bambi
I don't know, now that I'm looking at the rest of the chapters, I might really want to read this book. Maybe it does answer all my questions. But back to the library results:
2. How to retire happy: the 12 most important decisions you must make before you retire by Stan Hinden
While somewhat relevant, about 40ish years ahead of its time
3. My Lives by Billy Joel (sound recording)
This one popped up for the same reasons that #1 did, but I must stop and question if Billy Joel music does answer my question. Is the answer Long Island? Billy Joel has a lot of songs about Long Island. Am I in a New York state of mind? Other locales mentioned in Billy Joel songs: Vienna, Saigon, Leningrad, China, Miami (in the year 2017), Hollywood, Scandinavia, Zanzibar. Perhaps they sell homes along the River of Dreams. Am I an uptown girl? Is it still rock and roll to me? Clearly I have a lot to think about.
4. Live long & prosper! invest in your happiness, health, and wealth for retirement and beyond by Steven Vernon
See #2. I just can't read a book with retirement in the title.
5. Hotel by Moby (sound recording)
Should I live in a hotel?
6. Let's get it on by Marvin Gaye (sound recording)
Why did I get so many results about getting it on when I asked where I should live? I guess you should live where you can get it on. Hmm.
7. A night out with Verve (sound recording)
8. Live on by Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band (sound recording)
Good advice nonetheless
9. The portable Thoreau, edited and with an introduction by Carl Bode
If this book provides the answer, I'm guessing that I live in a cabin that's just a few miles from town, but make it seem like it's in the wilderness. I don't pay my taxes. I become a cranky hermit and just read and write a lot.
Well actually I guess that is what I want to do. So the library comes through again!
I was just googling Henry David Thoreau, and read that one of his first memories was of "looking through the stars to see if I could see God behind them." Very cute, tiny Henry David Thoreau.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I must have sneezed 114 times today.
Here are the things that I get when I use the Google search engine to look up my name.
Things that are actually me:
--Work stuff including the company website, materials/summaries with my name on them, the announcements in the paper from when I was hired, weird online networking sites that scan company websites for people.
--A listing with the Center for Ethics, based on a forum I did when I was a sophomore. This one was kind of weird and surprising because I haven't had any contact with the Center for Ethics since I was on the forum, and it's frankly the last organization I would have expected to still have me on the website.
--Articles I wrote for the school paper freshman year of college.
--Articles from the college paper that I appeared in, the most embarassing one being one where I am presented as a huge Dave Matthews fan. While I have nothing against Dave Matthews, I would like to point out that I have never ever been a huge Dave Matthews fan. If you happen to find this article, you will note that my quote does not endorse DMB, but non-commercial music in general. I think I was just sitting there when someone else was interviewed about them. I should have kept my mouth shut, because now I am cyber-linked to DMB for all time probably.
--A page of Italian minors that doesn't seem to be updated very much. Although maybe not very many people minor in Italian anymore.
Things that are not me:
--Someone who wrote a book about birds. She definitely has way more listings than I do.
--A golfer in Portland.
--A girl who was an intern at a zoo.
--Someone who is acknowledged as having helped with a paper on cardiovascular dysfunction, including possibly typing the manuscript (I can't tell if these two are the same person or not. People with my name are very helpful.)
--People from olden days who have died. My favorite being a letter from 1878 where the letter writer tells the person with my name to quit her pining and get good and fat, because he would like nothing more than to see her in good health and fat next summer. I certainly hope that one day I get a letter like this and can put it on the internet.
--Someone who got a park named after her in Chicago.
I would just like to point out to the people of Google, Inc., who must read this blog since it's on Blogger, that I made every effort to use the word "Google" in the correct method in the first sentence. I did not haphazardly use it as a verb. Even though I really wanted to.
Things that are actually me:
--Work stuff including the company website, materials/summaries with my name on them, the announcements in the paper from when I was hired, weird online networking sites that scan company websites for people.
--A listing with the Center for Ethics, based on a forum I did when I was a sophomore. This one was kind of weird and surprising because I haven't had any contact with the Center for Ethics since I was on the forum, and it's frankly the last organization I would have expected to still have me on the website.
--Articles I wrote for the school paper freshman year of college.
--Articles from the college paper that I appeared in, the most embarassing one being one where I am presented as a huge Dave Matthews fan. While I have nothing against Dave Matthews, I would like to point out that I have never ever been a huge Dave Matthews fan. If you happen to find this article, you will note that my quote does not endorse DMB, but non-commercial music in general. I think I was just sitting there when someone else was interviewed about them. I should have kept my mouth shut, because now I am cyber-linked to DMB for all time probably.
--A page of Italian minors that doesn't seem to be updated very much. Although maybe not very many people minor in Italian anymore.
Things that are not me:
--Someone who wrote a book about birds. She definitely has way more listings than I do.
--A golfer in Portland.
--A girl who was an intern at a zoo.
--Someone who is acknowledged as having helped with a paper on cardiovascular dysfunction, including possibly typing the manuscript (I can't tell if these two are the same person or not. People with my name are very helpful.)
--People from olden days who have died. My favorite being a letter from 1878 where the letter writer tells the person with my name to quit her pining and get good and fat, because he would like nothing more than to see her in good health and fat next summer. I certainly hope that one day I get a letter like this and can put it on the internet.
--Someone who got a park named after her in Chicago.
I would just like to point out to the people of Google, Inc., who must read this blog since it's on Blogger, that I made every effort to use the word "Google" in the correct method in the first sentence. I did not haphazardly use it as a verb. Even though I really wanted to.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Kink
Well, as I have blogged, my grandmother died, on Memorial Day. She was 95 years old. The morning of the funeral, I wrote down all I could think of related to my grandmother, and here's the list:
--My grandmother's name was Catharine Sprinkle Henry but everyone called her Sprink. All of the grandkids called her Kink because the first grandchild couldn't say Sprink.
--She was married to George Henry, who was the bishop of Western North Carolina. He died in the 1970's, and she once told me that he told her to remarry, but she could never think of finding someone as good as him.
--When she went on her honeymoon in 1937, the local newspaper wrote about the scandal of her wearing shorts.
--She had four children, the youngest being my mother. She had eleven grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren at last count.
--For most of my younger life, she lived in a condominium with a great swimming pool, and my brothers and I would go over most every day in the summer. She'd lather us up with grease, put on her Sprink visor, and take us over to the pool for hours. She taught me how to swim.
--She said things like "Well hoopy-do!" "Lordy Moses!" "Ah, go to!" "You're gonna grow up to be a scrawny runt." "We'll have to put you in the garbage can and screw the lid on tight!"
--She had a very interesting system of veins in her hands, and she'd let me look at them and rub my fingers over them over and over.
--She had a laugh like a cackle
--She had one of those hairdryers like they have in salons, where you sit under it while it dries your hair. To do her hair, she wrapped it up in tight curls and sat under it. When I spent the night, I could sit under it too.
--She held "tea parties" for us every day, at 3 or 4. Tea parties were "Co-Cola" in her famous red Dixie cups (Kink wrote our names on a plastic cup and put them in the dishwasher, reusing them over and over until they cracked. It was really gross actually). The snack would be something like half a pack of crackers, or half a pack of Swiss Cake Rolls. As my brother put it, she did not promote obesity in children.
--She embroidered towels for me and made all of the clothes for my American Girl doll. Unfortunately, she didn't finish putting all the snaps in before Christmas morning, so most of my doll clothes didn't have snaps.
--She walked around her complex moving rubber bands from one hand to the other so she could measure how many laps she had walked.
--She loved playing games, especially Yahtzee and Tripoley. Once, when my brother was dealing her some cards, she looked right at him and said, "Don't you put the hoodoo on these cards!"
--She had the best box of blocks that three kids could ask for.
--Once she got a little upset when I asked her what it was like to live a century. She was only in her 70's at that point.
--She lost her teeth when she was a little girl, because her mother died and no one looked after her. So when we spent the night, she always made sure we brushed our teeth.
--Before I went to college, she moved into a retirement community, and I'd go over and have dinner with her at the all you can eat retirement home buffet. Before dinner we'd sit in her apartment and she'd tell me stories about growing up and going to college, like how she went around the dorms with a wagon of candy bars to make some money. At the buffet, she'd always make sure that I had the ice cream for dessert, because she thought it was the best.
--She loved going to the beach and went with our family for several years.
--She loved working puzzles and would get very excited when she got a piece in.
--She liked watching Lawrence Welk on Saturday nights.
--She was an extremely bad driver in later years and many a time I thought my young life was coming to an end.
--She made this chocolate mousse dessert that she would put in fancy teacups, and she'd give us those tiny pink Sweet-n-low spoons to eat it with. We loved it, and when we'd come over, she'd go, "Don't look in the refrigerator!" And that meant that the good dessert was in there.
--Other cooking specialties: waffles, where she made sure that butter was in every single square; ham and cheese casserole; sandwiches (made with frozen bread); cut up hot dogs with toothpicks in every piece.
--It was hard in the last few years because she didn't know who anyone was. It is believed by the whole family that now she is up with my grandfather, having a bourbon and water, which was her favorite drink.
Hopefully I'll add to this list. Lately I've been discovering all sorts of things about my family that no one ever bothered to tell me, such as the night that Martin Luther King came to the house, or that she was presented to the queen of England.
--My grandmother's name was Catharine Sprinkle Henry but everyone called her Sprink. All of the grandkids called her Kink because the first grandchild couldn't say Sprink.
--She was married to George Henry, who was the bishop of Western North Carolina. He died in the 1970's, and she once told me that he told her to remarry, but she could never think of finding someone as good as him.
--When she went on her honeymoon in 1937, the local newspaper wrote about the scandal of her wearing shorts.
--She had four children, the youngest being my mother. She had eleven grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren at last count.
--For most of my younger life, she lived in a condominium with a great swimming pool, and my brothers and I would go over most every day in the summer. She'd lather us up with grease, put on her Sprink visor, and take us over to the pool for hours. She taught me how to swim.
--She said things like "Well hoopy-do!" "Lordy Moses!" "Ah, go to!" "You're gonna grow up to be a scrawny runt." "We'll have to put you in the garbage can and screw the lid on tight!"
--She had a very interesting system of veins in her hands, and she'd let me look at them and rub my fingers over them over and over.
--She had a laugh like a cackle
--She had one of those hairdryers like they have in salons, where you sit under it while it dries your hair. To do her hair, she wrapped it up in tight curls and sat under it. When I spent the night, I could sit under it too.
--She held "tea parties" for us every day, at 3 or 4. Tea parties were "Co-Cola" in her famous red Dixie cups (Kink wrote our names on a plastic cup and put them in the dishwasher, reusing them over and over until they cracked. It was really gross actually). The snack would be something like half a pack of crackers, or half a pack of Swiss Cake Rolls. As my brother put it, she did not promote obesity in children.
--She embroidered towels for me and made all of the clothes for my American Girl doll. Unfortunately, she didn't finish putting all the snaps in before Christmas morning, so most of my doll clothes didn't have snaps.
--She walked around her complex moving rubber bands from one hand to the other so she could measure how many laps she had walked.
--She loved playing games, especially Yahtzee and Tripoley. Once, when my brother was dealing her some cards, she looked right at him and said, "Don't you put the hoodoo on these cards!"
--She had the best box of blocks that three kids could ask for.
--Once she got a little upset when I asked her what it was like to live a century. She was only in her 70's at that point.
--She lost her teeth when she was a little girl, because her mother died and no one looked after her. So when we spent the night, she always made sure we brushed our teeth.
--Before I went to college, she moved into a retirement community, and I'd go over and have dinner with her at the all you can eat retirement home buffet. Before dinner we'd sit in her apartment and she'd tell me stories about growing up and going to college, like how she went around the dorms with a wagon of candy bars to make some money. At the buffet, she'd always make sure that I had the ice cream for dessert, because she thought it was the best.
--She loved going to the beach and went with our family for several years.
--She loved working puzzles and would get very excited when she got a piece in.
--She liked watching Lawrence Welk on Saturday nights.
--She was an extremely bad driver in later years and many a time I thought my young life was coming to an end.
--She made this chocolate mousse dessert that she would put in fancy teacups, and she'd give us those tiny pink Sweet-n-low spoons to eat it with. We loved it, and when we'd come over, she'd go, "Don't look in the refrigerator!" And that meant that the good dessert was in there.
--Other cooking specialties: waffles, where she made sure that butter was in every single square; ham and cheese casserole; sandwiches (made with frozen bread); cut up hot dogs with toothpicks in every piece.
--It was hard in the last few years because she didn't know who anyone was. It is believed by the whole family that now she is up with my grandfather, having a bourbon and water, which was her favorite drink.
Hopefully I'll add to this list. Lately I've been discovering all sorts of things about my family that no one ever bothered to tell me, such as the night that Martin Luther King came to the house, or that she was presented to the queen of England.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
The Southwest
I went on vacation with my parents last week. Here’s what we did:
--We flew into Las Vegas, then drove out of town to Boulder City, NV. Boulder City was having a barbeque festival, and if you know anything about me or my parents, then you know that we love barbeque. So the vacation got off to a great start.
--We saw Lake Mead. It was pretty, but would have been nicer overall had there been an E at the end, just like my middle name.
--We went to Hoover Dam. I don’t want to point a finger at any specific projects, but they built that thing during the Depression for not that much money. In the desert, big rocks all around…name your challenge. It’s a little baffling that we have so much trouble building infrastructure today when they could do that back then.
--We went to Flagstaff, which was having an arts and crafts fair and a bicycling race. I got a little nervous that each destination was going to have a festival or fair or something that was affecting downtown.
--We went to Sedona, aka Red Rock Country.
--We went to Winslow, Arizona. If you’re not an Eagles fan, you might not immediately recognize Winslow, Arizona as the place where you might be standing on the corner, such a fine sight to see, when a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford, slows down to take a look at you. Take it easy! Take it easy! But it is, and a little park where a statue recreates that moment is about the only thing in Winslow. Yet people stop by to see it. When I was there, there was this old big kinda mean guy, singing the song really loud to his female companion and telling her she should sing along in a kinda abusive way. Then he goes, “Yessir! Don Henley! Taking it easy!” Well, that was the end of it for me, because it was Glenn Frey and Jackson Browne who wrote the song, ASSHOLE. But he was bigger than me so I could do nothing.
--We saw the Little Painted Desert, just north of Winslow. The real painted desert was a little far.
--We went to Williams, Arizona. The rodeo was in town and we stayed in a hotel owned by a Korean cowboy (they had a sushi restaurant and a slogan about east meeting west)
--We went to the Grand Canyon. My mom couldn’t get over how big it was. We had a geology talk by Ranger Paul, who I miss terribly. I took over 100 pictures, so you know, come visit me and I will show you ALL OF THEM.
--We drove to Utah. When driving through Grand Staircase Escalante, it was recommended that we drive the Cottonwood Road. The road is about 46 miles, unpaved, takes two hours to drive, and promises death around every corner. Some reasons I thought I would die on the Cottonwood Road include:
--Driving in a little ol’ Ford Taurus, with no cell service and no one around
--The kid with the gun walking around
--The sand trap that a driver in a Jeep warned us about, that we spent six LONG miles dreading
--The drop-offs where you’d go over a hill and not be able to see the road ahead of you, much like a roller coaster drop off
--The potholes
--The dust
Don’t worry, we made it, and we saw an arch made out of rocks.
--We went to Bryce Canyon, which is very beautiful. It has formations called hoodoos. My parents and I, who are riddled with knee injuries and not big on “nature vacations” managed to go on a hike to see some hoodoos close up.
--We drove to Las Vegas. We stayed at EXCALIBUR, a casino that looks like a castle. It was very very very very very hot but we walked around and looked at casinos and tried to learn about playing slot machines. We went to a buffet. I ate the best gyro I’ve ever had in my life (not at the buffet).
Then I had a bit of an unexpected second vacation, which was going to North Carolina for my grandmother’s funeral. We found out my grandmother died while at the Grand Canyon, and then it was a bit of blur making new reservations and trying to get home despite being out in the middle of nowhere with no cell service. But we all made it and I got to go home for a bit and see my family. I have a great family and I think we were able to come together to make it into a real celebration of my grandmother’s life. I will write more about her in another post.
But first, one last thing I learned about vacationing with one’s parents: you learn a lot about how things are going in the bathroom for everyone. Normally I think I am pretty private about that department, but when on a trip with parents, I guess it all comes out, so to speak.
--We flew into Las Vegas, then drove out of town to Boulder City, NV. Boulder City was having a barbeque festival, and if you know anything about me or my parents, then you know that we love barbeque. So the vacation got off to a great start.
--We saw Lake Mead. It was pretty, but would have been nicer overall had there been an E at the end, just like my middle name.
--We went to Hoover Dam. I don’t want to point a finger at any specific projects, but they built that thing during the Depression for not that much money. In the desert, big rocks all around…name your challenge. It’s a little baffling that we have so much trouble building infrastructure today when they could do that back then.
--We went to Flagstaff, which was having an arts and crafts fair and a bicycling race. I got a little nervous that each destination was going to have a festival or fair or something that was affecting downtown.
--We went to Sedona, aka Red Rock Country.
--We went to Winslow, Arizona. If you’re not an Eagles fan, you might not immediately recognize Winslow, Arizona as the place where you might be standing on the corner, such a fine sight to see, when a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford, slows down to take a look at you. Take it easy! Take it easy! But it is, and a little park where a statue recreates that moment is about the only thing in Winslow. Yet people stop by to see it. When I was there, there was this old big kinda mean guy, singing the song really loud to his female companion and telling her she should sing along in a kinda abusive way. Then he goes, “Yessir! Don Henley! Taking it easy!” Well, that was the end of it for me, because it was Glenn Frey and Jackson Browne who wrote the song, ASSHOLE. But he was bigger than me so I could do nothing.
--We saw the Little Painted Desert, just north of Winslow. The real painted desert was a little far.
--We went to Williams, Arizona. The rodeo was in town and we stayed in a hotel owned by a Korean cowboy (they had a sushi restaurant and a slogan about east meeting west)
--We went to the Grand Canyon. My mom couldn’t get over how big it was. We had a geology talk by Ranger Paul, who I miss terribly. I took over 100 pictures, so you know, come visit me and I will show you ALL OF THEM.
--We drove to Utah. When driving through Grand Staircase Escalante, it was recommended that we drive the Cottonwood Road. The road is about 46 miles, unpaved, takes two hours to drive, and promises death around every corner. Some reasons I thought I would die on the Cottonwood Road include:
--Driving in a little ol’ Ford Taurus, with no cell service and no one around
--The kid with the gun walking around
--The sand trap that a driver in a Jeep warned us about, that we spent six LONG miles dreading
--The drop-offs where you’d go over a hill and not be able to see the road ahead of you, much like a roller coaster drop off
--The potholes
--The dust
Don’t worry, we made it, and we saw an arch made out of rocks.
--We went to Bryce Canyon, which is very beautiful. It has formations called hoodoos. My parents and I, who are riddled with knee injuries and not big on “nature vacations” managed to go on a hike to see some hoodoos close up.
--We drove to Las Vegas. We stayed at EXCALIBUR, a casino that looks like a castle. It was very very very very very hot but we walked around and looked at casinos and tried to learn about playing slot machines. We went to a buffet. I ate the best gyro I’ve ever had in my life (not at the buffet).
Then I had a bit of an unexpected second vacation, which was going to North Carolina for my grandmother’s funeral. We found out my grandmother died while at the Grand Canyon, and then it was a bit of blur making new reservations and trying to get home despite being out in the middle of nowhere with no cell service. But we all made it and I got to go home for a bit and see my family. I have a great family and I think we were able to come together to make it into a real celebration of my grandmother’s life. I will write more about her in another post.
But first, one last thing I learned about vacationing with one’s parents: you learn a lot about how things are going in the bathroom for everyone. Normally I think I am pretty private about that department, but when on a trip with parents, I guess it all comes out, so to speak.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Marathon Man
I just got back from the dentist. I fear my dentist, because she seems to involve a lot more technology and instruments and drilling and condescension than I am used to. But today, I went in to the dentist, who is very very pregnant, for two fillings. The dentist said she was going to do them one at a time (rather than numb the whole mouth at once) because she had been having contractions, so she didn't want to get me all numbed up for nothing. So in addition to having fears about my mouth being permanently stretched or never recovering from the numbness, I also had to worry about my dentist giving birth. Every time she leaned over, her gigantic belly rubbed against my head. It was really weird. I would advise people not to have pregnant dentists. I hope she does not find this entry through Google.
Some to see a bear would pay a fee
Well, nothing makes me want to take a picture more than a fake bear. Here are some photos of bears and me on my most recent vacation.
This was a bear I didn't know about. It was in Arizona.
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This bear scared me.
This is a bear on a motorcycle in Arizona. I blocked out the license plate myself, using my mad computer skillz.
These are some bears in Utah.
I am helping this bear climb.
This is the Coke bear in Vegas.
This was a bear I didn't know about. It was in Arizona.
.jpg)
This bear scared me.
This is a bear on a motorcycle in Arizona. I blocked out the license plate myself, using my mad computer skillz.
These are some bears in Utah.
I am helping this bear climb.
This is the Coke bear in Vegas.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Book #14: The Little Prince
The book: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
What is this book about: A small monarch wanders around, says profound things, asks questions repeatedly, learns about life and love and whatnot.
Why did I read this book: It's been a long long time since I've had time to do any book reading, so I wanted something I could just sit down and read and be done with it. Plus I think I'm the only person in the world who hasn't read this book.
What did I think of this book: It might have been a bit more meaningful if I'd read the book when I was like 14 or 15, like everyone else.
What was my favorite part of this book: This poetic quote about the restless nature of people: "The wind blows them away. They have no roots, and that makes their life very difficult." (Please don't sue me, estate of Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Or, s'il vous plaît ne pas me poursuivre en justice, la propriété de Antoine du Saint-Exupery.)
What did I learn from this book: Man, grown-ups can be assholes! People with child-like hearts are awesome!
What grade do I give this book: People who are children at heart don't give grades to books. They just see their true essences with their hearts or something. Let's just say, a passing grade
What is this book about: A small monarch wanders around, says profound things, asks questions repeatedly, learns about life and love and whatnot.
Why did I read this book: It's been a long long time since I've had time to do any book reading, so I wanted something I could just sit down and read and be done with it. Plus I think I'm the only person in the world who hasn't read this book.
What did I think of this book: It might have been a bit more meaningful if I'd read the book when I was like 14 or 15, like everyone else.
What was my favorite part of this book: This poetic quote about the restless nature of people: "The wind blows them away. They have no roots, and that makes their life very difficult." (Please don't sue me, estate of Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Or, s'il vous plaît ne pas me poursuivre en justice, la propriété de Antoine du Saint-Exupery.)
What did I learn from this book: Man, grown-ups can be assholes! People with child-like hearts are awesome!
What grade do I give this book: People who are children at heart don't give grades to books. They just see their true essences with their hearts or something. Let's just say, a passing grade
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