Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Blog Year #2 Wrap-up

Oh my heavens, we've actually made it here. 200 blog entries in 2008, even if I did have to write over a quarter of them in the last month. And now, the entry that is supposed to sum up Blog Year #2 in a profound way.

I just re-read the wrap-up of Blog Year #1, and in some ways it made me feel like the last year was not as exciting. I didn't move cross-country or go to places that I'd never been before; instead, I stayed in one place and traveled to places that I had been before. I didn't read as many books (though in my defense, I did read longer books) or see as many movies. It almost doesn't feel like I've done anything new or exciting.

Of course it was a big year that the simple stats don't reflect. I started a new job, met new people and reunited with old friends, and lived in a place quite different from where I had been living before. I finally met a stylist that I trust to cut my hair on a regular basis. I kept something alive for eight months (my fish). I got to see the person I trusted most to lead the country elected president. But still, even with all that…those things just look small compared to everything that happened to me in 2007.

But the more I've been sitting at the computer staring at this entry, the more I'm able to realize that 2008 was in fact a very big year for the simple reason that I'm a lot happier than I was in 2007. Not that I was extremely unhappy in 2007. I can just tell that I'm much happier now, in ways that probably aren't captured completely on the blog because I was likely off enjoying something. And that's probably why I blogged so much less throughout the year…I was off doing exciting and interesting things and was too busy or too private to write about them. Or they were the kinds of things that just aren't easy to put into words, especially on such a clumsy medium as a blog.

That's not to say that the number of blog postings is in any way proportionate to my emotional state, for there were certainly plenty of weeks where I was too miserably overworked and stretched in too many directions to even think that much of personal hygiene, let alone blogging. And some of the times I was happiest -- like my cousin reunion in October -- have plenty of entries associated with them. I'm just trying to say, if only to myself, that even though the year doesn't look riddled with accomplishments on my first glance at it, doesn't mean that it wasn't a completely fabulous and full year.

And here's to 2009 being even better.

Book #12: Middlemarch

I just finished Middlemarch, and I am so overwhelmed that I will abandon my usual way of reviewing books, with the silly questions that lead me to put down silly answers. As soon as I finished the last page, I though immediately of what a kinda old man told me in Portland, when he saw me reading it on the train. "It's an exhausting book," he said, "because it takes something out of you." And it really did. Though you can't say that the book has an unhappy ending, it's all about disappointment…how marriage is disappointing, because people settle for less than they want or need. How much a person can disappoint his or her family, and the sacrifices that a family will make -- or choose not to make -- to put up with that. How one's occupation is disappointing, because even if you set out with the grandest ambitions and plans they'll likely be squashed under your failures. How easily we'll compromise. How even the best-lived life disappears in the shadows of others.

One thing I noted about this book was how many people wanted to talk to me about it when I was reading it, and I guess that's because with so many characters, a person sees something of him or herself in at least one of them, if not several. For those of you that don't know, it's about a small countryside town full of people whose lives intertwine and wrap around each other in the way that small town lives do. There's political and industrial change in the air, though, and the people are trying to deal with that while trying to make their place in the world. Unfortunately, these people often make the choices that most directly block their happiness, and then we have to watch them squirm. And it's a universal book because we have probably squirmed in some sort of similar situation. But complicating their lives was the fact that divorce was not an option then as it was now. What a modern luxury to read about some of these people's lives and just think that they should get divorced.

At first, I wondered what all the fuss was about in terms of that book, but I think I just got off to a bad start with it. You should never, ever take Middlemarch with you on a plane or a train if you haven't started it, I guess because that would be just too modern for this book. It takes awhile to get into and to remember who everyone is. But there was a certain point where all of a sudden, whoosh! I had to know what was going to happen to everyone. Sometimes I liked what happened, sometimes I didn't. Often this novel made my stomach hurt because of what was happening, though I will admit there were times when I wished what was happening could have been condensed ever so slightly. It's a long book.

When I was really struggling with this book, I would look at the back, where there's this quote: "A book one can read, and reread, with no fear of exhausting its riches." The quote is by Margaret Drabble, who has written her fair share of books if Wikipedia to be believed. But anyway, I would look at what Margaret Drabble had said and think that Margaret Drabble was crazy. Now, though, I see why you'd want to reread it. I'm very glad I read it at this age, before I made too many of my own mistakes, for I can only imagine it would be much more heartbreaking to read it years from now, having made some of those same mistakes.

Anyways, I'm sure there's more to say, but that's enough for now. Suffice it to say that it's a wonderful book, a good book to end the year on.

a doodled daydream....from the future!

Here's a scary thought.

This is how my mind works. Because I'm sick.

I was just making a promise to myself that I would never ever write so many blogs in one month again simply to meet an arbitrary goal. Rather, I was making the solemn vow that I would be diligent in posting to my blog throughout the year, so that I would never be in this position again. Instead, I would quite naturally just end at about 200 entries at the end of the year.

But then I had the thought that maybe I would be so diligent about posting that I would reach the 200 mark at say, October, and that I would be in this position again next year, except I would be blogging my ass off to reach 300 posts!

Like I said, I have the illness, in my head. That's just crazy talk.

OR IS IT????????

And then, just when my thoughts couldn't get any sicker, I thought, "But, hmmm. I'm out of seasonal centerpieces to photograph."

I must not allow myself to think such thoughts in my delirium.

But perhaps this is what 2009 could be like:
Molly: Pope, Barack Obama...this year I'm trying to get to 300 entries!
Pope: Why does this girl keep daydreaming of us, Barack?
Barack: Why is Molly wearing the same clothes as last year?

a doodled daydream

Here is a daydream I just had:


In case it is too small to read, here is the text:
Molly: Pope and Barack Obama, will I finish my blog entries?
Pope: Well, this drawing will put you closer to your goal.
Barack: Yes you can!

Now that I read it over again, I don't think the pope likes that I am just using a drawing for one of my entries. I wish he had been more positive.

paint by numbers

Since my life as of the last few days has been consumed with thoughts of how many blogs I have left to go, here are a few other numbers I thought of, to take my mind off the whole thing, as well as to lessen the number of blog entries left.

1:23 p.m. -- The time the boss said everyone could go home early, thus giving me more time to work on the blog

20 rolls for $13: The incredible deal I got at Target for the toilet paper I really like

183: The number of miles I'll be driving tomorrow, to go home before my cousin's wedding, if Google Maps is to be believed.

1385: miles to go before my next oil change.

108: Number of pages left in "Middlemarch" as of this writing.

10: The ideal number of days that a pellet will provide a fish food while you are away.

3: The number of days that the pellets I had to settle for today will provide fish food while I am away, and let me tell you, it really bothers me as a fish owner that pet stores don't keep the 10-day feeding pellets stocked better.

1: Number of times I heard the "Macarena" on the radio today.

3: Minutes spent debating whether that was a good sign or an ill omen of the world's imminent end.

15: Miles per hour that it seemed everyone was going on my drive home from work today.

9 ½ or 10: My shoe size, depending on the shoe.

4: Number of beers in my refrigerator right now.

1: Number of loads of laundry I need to do before I go home.

50: Number of unread magazines in my apartment right now, because in the past few months I've only had time to read magazines while exercising.

7: Number of magazines that I receive.

3: Ounces of nonflammable fluids that a person is allowed to take on an airplane in carry-on luggage.

2895: Emails saved in my Yahoo inbox

14555: Number of songs on my Ipod, which actually hasn't been updated in awhile.

4: Number of York Peppermint Patties I've eaten today

1: Inches I cut off my hair last night

15: Number of television shows I consider myself a regular watcher of (the full list cannot be released because there are a few embarrassing guilty pleasures on there)

4: How hungry I am on a scale of 1 to 10, if 1 meant not hungry at all and 10 meant starving.

10: number of candles in my apartment right now.

$25: My family's self-imposed spending limit for presents to each other

18: Frozen waffles I have left.

3: Number of frozen waffles I eat for breakfast.

3 or 4: Number of my old bus route in Seattle.

0: Number of trophies I received for playing softball the year that my dad was the coach, despite the fact that everyone who played at that age got a trophy.

45 but feels like 39: Current temperature in degrees Fahrenheith in Atlanta, if the Weather Channel's site is to be believed.

30: Number of things I felt I had to come up with for this entry so it wouldn't seem like a total throwaway blog

the great food court project: special guest food court

Last night I had to go to Perimeter Mall to get a haircut. Since it was around dinner time, I decided to head to the food court as part of The Great Food Court Project. While Perimeter Mall's food court has many overlapping restaurants with the Lenox food court, the food court that is at the true center of The Great Food Court Project, there were some intriguing differences. I decided to dine at an establishment available only at Perimeter, to determine if it was a restaurant that Lenox should pursue as well. In other words, were there wonderful secrets in Perimeter that might make it the superior area food court?

Initially I was going to eat a sushi place but the line was too long, and I was kinda craving something warm. I was on my way to Panda Express, so I could do a side-by-side comparison of Asian places in malls, as one of my last food court reviews considered Lenox's Asian Chao. But on my way to the corner housing Panda Express, I was stopped by a sample lady from a place I'd never seen before, in any food court: Lani Grille.

Guessing from the name and the palm trees that were on a wallpaper border, I'm guessing this place is supposed to be sort of Hawaiian or tropical. But I don't think you'd really know that from the food. The sample I received had a name like Florentine Chicken, and it was grilled chicken in a creamy spinach sauce, and just by the name you can tell that they were going more for Italy than for Hawaii. They also had a chicken option that was supposed to be Mexican Chicken of some sort, for it was basically grilled chicken in what looked like a fancy nacho cheese. Now that I type that out I kinda regret not getting it.

Intrigued by Lani Grille, I decided to stay. The menu was just a piece of paper saying that you could get one type of chicken (they had four), rice, and salad for $5.99. I went for a chicken that I don't know the name of, but it was basically grilled chicken in a tangy sauce with onions. It was good. At times it tasted sorta like barbeque, and sometimes the tang made it taste a little like teriyaki. That could spell trouble for Lani Grille as they're located across the way from Sakkio Japan, much more revered for teriyaki in the food court world. The only bad thing I can say about my meal is that it was probably not the best thing to eat before a haircut, when you've got someone right up in your face. Particularly if you're chatty with your haircut guy, as I am.

I'd also like to point out that Lani Grille, in addition to the chickens and salads, had several side dishes, but I don't know how those worked because they weren't described on that piece of paper menu. Perhaps this place is new. But I worry for them, because I don't think they're universal enough to be in a food court. Let's say I had gone to Panda Express instead; if someone had asked me what I had for dinner, I could have said "Chinese food" or "General Tso's chicken." Whereas now, all I can report is that I ate a chicken dish that I don't know the name of, from a culture that was sort of indistinguishable as unique if indeed Lani Grill is trying to represent a culture. That's just not distinctive enough. And I think it gave other customers trouble too. I heard one man saying, "What is it?" as if hoping for a one word answer. But the woman, who didn't speak English very well, simply handed him a sample. I don't know if Lani Grille would fare very well at Lenox.

While I ate I watched this mother and daughter who went to Panda Express. They both had kids' meals and I was pretty interested in how the mom got away with that. Neither of them spoke to the other the whole time; all the mom did was play with her blackberry. The girl watched some teenagers who looked like the kind of teenagers who went to the mall because they had nothing else to do. You know the kind.

movies, july-dec

Well, seeing as how I don't think I'll have time to watch any more movies before the end of the year, I thought I'd go ahead and write up Part Two of movies watched in 2008. You can find part one here: http://iwiggleitjustalittlebit.blogspot.com/2008/07/lets-all-go-to-movies.html. Sure, everyone else tells you which movies they liked the best out of the ones they've seen. But I tell you about ALL the movies I see for the first time in a calendar year. That's really something, I think.

28. Ratatouille
Cute. If talking culinary rats feel persecuted, they should come live with me. Once I get over my initial fright, I will allow them to live with me and do my cooking.

29. Gone Baby Gone
It was good baby good.

30. Margot at the Wedding
Mmm, just as cringe-inducing as all the reviews said it would be.

31. The Notorious Bettie Page
A very interesting bio, and without watching it I might not have cared that Bettie Page died a few weeks ago. It was also beautiful to watch, a very artsy looking movie. Gretchen Mol was awesome. But ultimately, there were all these holes that left me wondering about some of Bettie's actions, motives, etc. She seemed too inconsistent.

32. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
One of my favorites of the year. The main actor, Mathieu Almaric, is amazing. It's hard to watch without imagining yourself in that situation, and I don't think many people would have been as strong as he was.

33. The Dark Knight
I saw this on an IMAX screen in Seattle! Midway through there were technical difficulties which was nerve-wracking, but everything got fixed. Heath Ledger was just as good as everyone in the world has said. As soon as this movie was over I was ready for the next one.

34. Elegy
I got to see this movie for free because I know people. It has Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz, who have a relationship, but the main thing I remember about it is not understanding the ending.

35. Hamlet 2
While it's obvious that they came up with the song "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" and decided to write a movie around it, I still found the movie enjoyable. I like that Steve Coogan. I just looked at the IMDB quotes but they don't have any of my favorites up. A challenge for me, perhaps?

36. Hot Fuzz
I think I liked it at the time, but I don't remember much of it now. I think I was distracted.

37. House Bunny
I really loved this movie, but I had a few martinis in me.

38. Baby Mama
It was enjoyable enough, though I mean I think if you wanted to watch Tina Fey in action it would be better to just watch five 30 Rock's in a row instead.

39. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
Nothing like following up a light-hearted romp like Baby Mama with this Romanian movie about abortion. This movie came from Netflix and it took me several weeks to get around to it, I guess because I don't have a lot of nights where I want to come home and get depressed. You watch this movie and go, "Oh no, why did you do that" or "Oh no, don't do that" over and over. But some images of this movie stuck with me much longer than those of other movies on this list.

40. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl
In this movie based on the American Girl character, a spunky go-getter named Kit Kittredge has to solve mysteries, battle prejudices against hobos, and keep her head while her father loses his money ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I enjoyed all the references to hobos the most.

41. War, Inc.
While I usually say that every movie is John Cusack's best movie, it was hard for me to get into this one. Perhaps I had my sights set too high after reading that it was a spiritual sequel to "Grosse Pointe Blank," or maybe my dislike of Hilary Duff was too hard to overcome. That's not to say I wouldn't sit and watch it a million times if I had a lot of spare time. It does have John Cusack in it, after all.

42. Trading Places
My dad walks around the house saying lines from this movie, which I thought I had seen, but I actually don't think I had. Because I didn't remember anything when I watched it this year. I watched with my dad, who unfortunately slept through Jamie Lee Curtis' nude scene. But he was awake for "looking good Billy Ray!" "Feelin good Lewis" which is sort of an important thing to my family.

43. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The puppet musical was the best thing. The actors were all enjoyable enough to watch but I found the story kinda tiring.

44. Four Christmases
If this movie is indeed supposed to take place in the course of one day, then it was one long-ass day. But there was a Nativity scene in this movie that I just thought was hilarious.

45. Tropic Thunder
This movie had a bunch of great performances -- I found Robert Downey Jr and Ben Stiller to be reliably terrific -- but I thought the whole Tom Cruise thing was overrated.

46. Kissing Jessica Stein
I got this movie because I heard that pre-Mad Men Jon Hamm was in it; his real-life girlfriend co-wrote and stars in it. Turns out Jon Hamm is only in a brief scene but the rest of the movie, about a woman flirting with lesbianism, is enjoyable. The characters could be frustrating, but so can everyone.

47. Bee Movie
I laughed out loud several times. LOL as the kids say. It was cute, but maybe too long? But then I checked Wikipedia and it was only 90 minutes, which seems about the minimum length a movie should be. If I had kids that wanted to watch it a lot I'd probably get annoyed.

48. License to Wed
On the one hand, I love John Krasinski and can be easily entertained by romantic comedies. On the other hand, Robin Williams currently (not old Robin Williams per se) is the acting equivalent of nails screeching against a chalkboard and Mandy Moore is fairly annoying. Unfortunately, John K had too big an uphill battle to climb for this film's redemption, though fake pooping babies always help. All in all, a depressing way to end my movie watching year.

so stylish

In a blog comment by Matthew, which I rudely never answered, I was asked what style guide my office uses. The answer, Matthew, is Associated Press. The Chicago Manual of Style, from what I understand, is for suckers (note: I myself have never used that style guide).

Anyways, I was consulting my style guide quite a bit yesterday, in a futile attempt to prove to my editor that split infinitives, both the real ones that she identified and the fake ones that I identified, were in fact, okay. I like to really split infinitives. Split 'em up to merely screw up the meaning and to very much mess with people's heads. Also! I wanted to see if this thing was in the stylebook: that you should spell "just deserts" as that way instead of the way it sounds, "just desserts." That's not in the style guide, but I guess it's just something smart people know, and apparently my editor is quite smart. And I'm not saying that because I know she reads the blog.

The A.P. Stylebook, in case you have never had a chance to glance at it, is a wealth of information, including the notion that split infinites are sometimes not that bad. But even though no one cared to listen to that little piece of info, I thought I'd share a few more nuggets of style as defined by the Associated Press. I picked out one interesting style regulation for each letter of the alphabet. In picking these out, it occurred to me that these might be obvious rules, things that everyone knows and that I will expose my ignorance of basic English and its rules. But oh well. Here we go:

A: Apparently you spell the day my birthday falls on as April Fools' Day, not as April Fool's Day. Whoops. I liked thinking that it belonged to just one fool, not many.

B: Do you enjoy spending time your back yard? Well, then you are spending time in a place that doesn't exist! Because it is always, always, the backyard.

C: How many times have you said, "look at all the beautiful cacti!" Next time you say something like that, you should say, "look at all the beautiful cactuses!"

D: Dr Pepper has NO PERIOD after the Dr -- which makes me think that he's not a real doctor.

E: When people speak of a "more equal" distribution of wealth, what is meant is "more equitable." Keep that in mind when our socialist president takes office.

F: Instead of saying "floppy disk", you should say "diskette." Which makes me wonder if I have a really old version of the style guide, because who is still talking about floppy disks.

G: Look guys, "gung-ho" is a colloquialism, so only use it sparingly.

H: The term "hillbilly" is usually a derogatory term for an Appalachian backwoods or mountain person, and "mountaineer" is a suggested alternative. Which means that the Appalachian State Mountaineers, of which my brother William is one, are extremely politically correct.

I: So I was reading through the I section, not finding much to spark my interest. Then I was reading the entry for "infra-", which doesn't need a hyphen, generally, as evidenced by the examples of infrared and infrastructure, and I was all like, didn't I just read this? AND I DID. The style guide put the "infra-" entry into the I section TWICE, once in the right place and once in the completely WRONG place. Don't think I won't use this as evidence of the fallibility of the Associated Press.

J: Jaws of Life is a trademarked term for the tool that pries people out of their cars. So don't go throwing the term around without ensuring that you actually are referring to a licensed Jaws of Life product.

K: Apparently the Associated Press had decided it's Kriss Kringle, not Kris Kringle. Perhaps to provide some distinction for hip-hop duo Kris Kross.

L: Lamebrain is in the style guide! I resolve to use it more often in my work!

M: Look, "mailman" is not the preferred term, because so many women have the job. Use letter carrier or postal worker instead, though to me, postal worker has unfortunate connotations of insanity and instability. So I propose we stick with letter carrier.

N: My proposal about letter carriers is further backed by an entry in this section, which alerts me to the fact that there is such a thing as the National Association of Letter Carriers.

O: This one is for my dad. Regarding the words "Orient" and "Oriental": "Capitalize when referring to the Far East nations of Asia and nearby islands. 'Asian' is the preferred term for an inhabitant of these regions. Also: Oriental rug, Oriental cuisine." (Dad likes to claim that he never got the memo that we should be saying Asians instead of Orientals)

P: Did you know that the Pap test was named after George Papanicolaou? The U.S. anatomist who developed the test? Aren't you glad you don't have to go in and ask for the Papanicolaou test?

Q: Quran is the preferred spelling for the Muslim holy book; only use Koran if a specific organization prefers it or if it's in a specific title spelled that way.

R: The R entry brings us the correct spelling of many fun and funny words, including reconnaissance, riffraff, roly-poly, rostrum and rubella.

S: Here are some things that might come in handy if you're ever playing pub trivia:
The Seven Seas are the Arabian Sea, the Atlantic Ocean, the Bay of Bengal, the Mediterranean Sea, the Persian Gulf, the Red Sea and the South China Sea.
The Seven Sisters are the colleges of Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Mount Holyoke, Radcliffe, Smith, Vassar and Wellesley
The Seven Wonders of the World are the Egyptian pyramids, the hanging gardens of Babylon, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Colossus of Rhodes, the statue of Zeus by Phidias and Olympia and the Pharos or lighthouse at Alexandria.

T: In proof that the Associated Press likes to take all the fun out of languages, they advise the use of "until then" as opposed to the much more jolly "theretofore"

U: You shouldn't write "user friendly." You should write "easy to use." But I think user friendly is better. Here's a sentence: "Sometimes, by not being intuitive with its rules, the Associated Press is not user friendly."

V: Voice mail is two words, suckas! Even if your word processing program recognizes voicemail, as this one does!

W: Weirdo is in the style guide! I shall use it more.

XYZ: The AP crowds these letters together cause it got lazy at the end. The most interesting thing on these two pages is that botanically, yams and sweet potatoes are not related, although several varieties of moist-fleshed sweet potatoes are popularly called yams in some parts of the United States.

Hopefully we all learned something! Thanks Associated Press!

seasonal centerpieces, part two

A few weeks ago, I wrote on the subject of seasonal centerpieces. My mom is a real genius at creating seasonal centerpieces, and I wish I had taken more photographs of the seasonal centerpieces and decorations we had at Christmas. Even the piano had something beautiful on it.

Well, as I wrote in that last entry, I had been sorta wondering about what I was supposed to do after Christmas. Surely it was too early to get my spring decorations out, and too tacky to leave my Christmas centerpiece up, no matter how much I might love it.

Of course, though, Mom has thought of everything, and I got my new centerpiece for Christmas, and it is today's Picture of the Day:

Mom's idea for the new centerpiece was the giant cocktail glass with glassy stones inside. But she also gave me this shoe full of raspberry mixer to be added to cocktails, and I figured I would throw it into the centerpiece mix. It's kind of a "Sex and the City" centerpiece when you add the shoe, but I think it conjures New Year's Eve and parties very well, and I hope to take that party spirit with me all the way into 2009. Until I drink the raspberry mixer, at which point I'll just go back to Mom's original design.

I'd just like to say, there's something about the lighting around that table that doesn't capture color right. I thought my Christmas tree looked much duller in pictures than it was in real life, and so too does that shoe. It's very bright. Oh well.

In case no one figured this out, Picture of the Day was a way to rack up 31 entries in this last blockbuster month of blogging. It probably won't be a daily feature in 2009, but I will post pictures more often. Picture of the Week maybe. Though I should have the goal of posting daily in 2009, the idea of trying to take 365 interesting pictures thoroughly exhausts me. And we can't have that!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

20 questions with my mom

Everyone got a lot of insight into my dad when I interviewed him on his birthday. But what of the other person who molded me? On the morning of December 28, I decided to interview my mom. I approached her as she was doing the Sunday morning crossword on the couch.

Molly: Mom, do you think I will realize my goal of writing 200 blog entries, and if so, do you have any ideas for things I can blog about?
Mom: You will definitely reach your goal, because when you set your mind to something, you will get it done. They may not be the most interesting blogs but you will have 200. Now as to what you can blog about, I'd say Christmas decorations, because there are plenty to take pictures of here. You could blog about after-Christmas shopping--are there really bargains? And that poor girl who gave us her gift card that she got for Christmas for not even at face value at Dress Barn yesterday. That was weird. Why aren't there Dress Barns everywhere? Why do we have rain and no snow? And the Midwest has so much snow that they're flooding. And this would be good (at this point, Mom digs out a section of the newspaper). Read this article about this woman who paints designer shoes. It says just wear fancy shoes and no one will notice your wrinkles.
Molly: Okay, my next question…
Mom: You don't want any more blog ideas?
Molly: Well, I have to get through 20 questions. And it sounds like you mostly think my blog lacks weather-related content.
Mom: Well, I check the weather in all cities I've been to. Did you see there was snow in Las Vegas? Did you ever imagine it could snow there when we were there? People always talk about going to New York at Christmas to see all the lights, but what about Las Vegas? There are lots of pretty lights there.

Molly: Speaking of Christmas, tell us about this Christmas.
Mom: I tell you what, it was hard to get ready for it. I was not a happy person. There were lots of decorations to do and meals to plan. And every year, my little family says that it's okay if the decorations don't get done and that they're happy just to have pizza. But when it's all done, it's worth it. We had a pretty big Christmas, since Dad did so much shopping. Maybe he was overcompensating for my lack of Christmas spirit. But there was no recession in this house. I was most excited about the doughboys.

Molly: What was your most memorable Christmas?
Mom: Probably the one where I got a dollhouse. I had asked for a dollhouse, but when I couldn't find it, I got upset. It turns out they had put it on the sun porch, and we never went onto the sun porch. Kink was in the middle of cooking something and had to stop to show me where the doll house was. Then there was one Christmas, I was in 6th grade, my then-boyfriend made a big deal of giving me a present. It was wrapped up all red and white with sparkles. It was big and heavy, and my family gave me a hard time about it. I started to get nervous so I opened it up when no one was around. It was just a pencil resting on a big block of wood, because I always borrowed his pencil in class. I was so embarrassed, because what was I going to tell my family? It was a joke, and I thought it was going to be a very thoughtful, I care about you present. But everyone was nice about it.

Molly: Which of your childhood traditions have you carried forward to our Christmases?
Mom: Opening stockings first then having a sit-down breakfast. Getting the kitchen clean before opening the presents under the tree, but that doesn't always happen. Opening the presents one at a time and going around the room. A big Christmas dinner was not one of my childhood traditions though because my father was always gone to services. We had a party that night when he got home with all the family and friends. We probably went somewhere else for lunch, like Lucy's.

Molly: What is your favorite Christmas tradition? Either a current one or one from when you were younger.
Mom
: I like going to the Christmas Eve service. That's one from when I was younger and from now. I like drawing each other's stockings. We didn't do that when I was young because Mother did all the stockings. She wrapped all the stocking stuff too. I tried that one year but it was too much trouble

Molly: If you had a million dollars, what would you do?
Mom
: Hmm. I'd divide it up and give it to my children, because what do I need it for? Then I would hope they'd give some of it to the poor and needy. Not all of it, because I want them to live a nice lifestyle, which will probably never happen in this economy.

Molly: If you had to be on any game show or reality show, which one would you be on and why?
Mom
: Wheel of Fortune, because I like puzzles. But I don't like to watch that show because the people are such idiots. And I don't like reality shows, other than Dancing With the Stars, and I can't dance.

Molly: If you could have a guest star role on any television show, non-game show or reality show, which one would you be on and why?
Mom: Seinfeld, because it's about nothing. I don't want a speaking role. Maybe I could just do nothing in the background of the coffee shop. I'm too self-conscious to sit with them. I'd rather be on the outside looking in.

Molly: What did you think you would be when you grew up?
Mom: Well, all my friends wanted to be schoolteachers, but I knew that was not for me. I always wanted to grow up and be a mommy like my mommy. Stay home and not work, but I wasn't a good stay-at-home mommy because I don't cook and do domestic things. So I had to get a job.

Molly: What was most memorable to you about the day I was born?
Mom: Well, it was April Fool's Day. Since you were the first one, I wasn't sure what labor pains would be. So I wasn't sure I was in labor, but we went to the hospital anyway. We were halfway there when we remembered we hadn't turned the alarm clock off. This was at 3:30 or 4 in the morning and we didn't want to scare the cats. So we drove back home, and I don't know why I did this, but I insisted on going back in the house with dad to turn the alarm off. Then, there was no doubt that we needed to go to the hospital.

Then I remember thinking you were so beautiful. But you weren't. You had a big knot on your head and you were black and blue all over. You weren't really pretty but we thought you were the most beautiful thing we'd ever seen. Then you got the hiccups and we didn't know what to do. Dad ran down the hallway shouting, "my baby has the hiccups!" and the nurses just laughed.

Then we brought you home and it snowed--in April. Mother came and cooked meals and cleaned up and I played with you all day. I thought, this is so easy. She even got up with you in the middle of the night so I wasn't tired. Then she went home.

Molly: How did you pick the name Molly?
Mom
: Well, the first criteria of the name was that you couldn't make a nickname out of it, because both Dad and I had names that were nicknames. We already had too many Elizabeth's, plus that had too many nicknames. Catharine was already taken, plus it could have nicknames. We had a book and we went through it. I remember Wendy and Molly were the options, but Dad says Wendy was never an option. Thomas was an option, but that's a nickname-y name. We were pretty sure we'd always have a George. But it was pretty well always decided that you were going to be Molly if you were a girl. We didn't know if you were going to be a boy or a girl until you were born, though.

Molly: What is your favorite food?
Mom
: The potato. Because it can be fixed so many different and delicious ways.

Molly: What was your life like when you were my age?
Mom: How old are you? 26? Well, this was the first Christmas that I knew Dad. I was working at the bank as a secretary. He went to New Jersey for Christmas, and Mother and I drove to Sewanee for Christmas. Pete and Anna Cay were at seminary there and Mary Henry was a baby. I got an unfinished dollhouse. Then we came back and Dad went to Charlotte because he was still kind of dating someone there and had already planned to spend New Year's Eve with her. (Writer's note: My eyes were bulging out at this point. I had never heard of this) Then he came back on New Year's Day and told me things were over in Charlotte. He won't remember this, though. That's one of those things that girls remember and guys don't.

Molly: Man. Any other things like that you'd like me to record for posterity in my blog?
Mom: For at least the whole first year we dated, we only went out on one night of the weekend. Either Friday or Saturday. He'd call up on Wednesday and let me know which night it was going to be, and I made my plans accordingly. That was for at least a year but he'll deny that too. I knew things were serious when we went out on both weekend nights. Actually I knew it was really serious when he asked me to go to New Jersey for his first college reunion. It was really cute how he asked: "I'd really like you to go to my reunion but you'll have to pay for your own airfare. I'll pay for the reunion but you pay for airfare. Do you think you could do that?"

Molly: What was most memorable to you about your wedding day?
Mom: I had to wake up really early to wash and roll my hair, and then I sat under the hairdryer. As we were driving to the church we happened to pass Dad and his brother driving the car to the place we'd pick it up after the service. I thought everything was doomed because I wasn't supposed to see him before the ceremony. He didn't see me though.

Molly: What do you like most about being an empty-nester?
Mom
: Not having to plan meals.

Molly: Where in the world would you most like to go?
Mom: I'd like to go to England and branch out to Europe from there.

Molly: Describe your ideal morning.
Mom: Sleep in til I wake up naturally. Get up and have the coffee already made. Sit and read the paper. Do the cryptoquote…no, the jumble first and then the cryptoquote. Then Sudoku and then the crossword. Then someone brings me breakfast.
Molly: You can do all that on an empty stomach?
Mom: Well, not without coffee. I would like eggs one morning, pancakes the next, then French toast. Then back to eggs. Fried one day, scrambled the next. You know, from 9th grade on, I had breakfast in bed every day. I had breakfast in bed on my wedding day actually. That was the last breakfast in bed I had.

Molly: I need one more question but I don't have any.
Mom: How about you ask me for new year's resolutions?
Molly: Okay. What are your new year's resolutions?
Mom: Well, I don't really ever tell people my resolutions because I don't keep them.
Molly: Then why did you suggest it as a question?!
Mom: Well, maybe if I put them in print somewhere I'll keep them. I'm going to try to be a better person. Stay in better moods and think more about other people.

Molly: Do you have any words of wisdom or a message for my readers?
Mom: Don’t believe anything you just read. It was 3 in the morning and I was drunk.

the bear's hanukkah

If you're a faithful reader of this blog, then you're probably familiar with my bear Barnabas. What may be surprising to you is that Barnabas is Jewish. That's right, I have been engaged in an inter-faith relationship. Since last night was the last night of Hanukkah, I figured today's Picture of the Day should be Barnabas with his holiday loot:
I will run down what Barnabas received:
--A copy of Paste magazine with Zooey Deschanel on the cover, because Barnabas has the biggest crush on her.
--A can of black beans, which is one of his favorite foods.
--A mini-bottle of Jose Cuervo, whom Barnabas likes to refer to as his "good amigo Jose" when he's had a few
--Frizz-ease (maintaining bear hair can be difficult)
--Drano (see above regarding bear hair)
--Socks with turtles on them
--The Ped Egg (Barnabas has had some feet issues lately)
--Q-tips
--A mini-stapler (he told me he has been pushing through lots of paperwork while I'm gone)

Also, he got some postage stamps but I forgot to put them in the picture.

And here is Barnabas wearing his socks, enjoying a drink, and reading his magazine:

As I briefly mentioned earlier, on Christmas day Barnabas got a new brother, Chester, which was a present from my brother William. I think I am starting to become the Angelina Jolie of bears. Anyways, I will be posting more about Chester as I learn about him. I don't think he is Jewish since he came on Christmas but sometimes life is funny that way.

Monday, December 29, 2008

a day in the life

One thing I sorta pride myself on is that my blog doesn't have too much diary-format stuff, as in "I did this, then I did this, and this person made me mad and here's what I did after that." That tends to get boring after awhile and I prefer to focus on weirder small parts of my life. I think everyone would quickly see how boring my everyday life is. But when you're going for a goal, you gotta try everything. So here is what my blog would be like if it was more about my real life:

Dear Diary,
Today I woke up at 5:55 a.m. Since the alarm was set for 6, I figured I'd snooze for five minutes but that was a bad idea because then I ended up pushing snooze three more times. I should have just gotten up when I woke up.

I pulled on my exercise clothes and went to the little apartment gym to exercise for an hour. I did the stationary bike and read Atlanta magazine and Rolling Stone magazine. I don't recall reading anything particularly earth-shaking. Then it was off to shower and get ready for work. I ended up wearing a black long-sleeved t-shirt with a magenta puffy vest. Since so many people are off this week for the holidays, I figured it didn't matter if I was uber casual at work.

For breakfast, I had waffles. I know I am always writing to you, Diary, about the waffles I eat, but it actually turns out that I haven't had them in quite awhile because they haven't been on sale at Kroger lately. It was good to have them again. I grabbed my stuff for work and left, which was kinda difficult because I haven't unpacked anything from Christmas break yet. I hope my mom doesn't read this diary entry, because she would probably frown on that!

I drove to work and the trip was pretty uneventful. I got there early, at like 8:30 a.m. I made some coffee with hot chocolate as is my wont and settled down to catch up on emails and blogs and to see where I was work-wise. As I predicted, not many people were in the office today so it was peaceful and quiet. My Monday morning meeting was canceled, which gave me an extra 30 minutes to work. I reviewed an earlier draft of an article I'm working on, then did a little bit of research, then wrote the last page of it. Then I started working on listing all the sources I used for the article. There were a lot!

By this time I was pretty hungry so I went to the break room to fix my lunch, which was chicken fried rice as prepared by the kind folks at Lean Cuisine. While the microwave worked its magic, I talked to a co-worker about how much I hate that Lexus commercial with the woman who gets a pony for Christmas then grows up to get a Lexus. My lunch was very hot so I had to wait a bit to eat it. Also I had a Cherry Coke Zero. They haven't been stocking Diet Cherry Coke lately which is my preference. As you know, Diary.

I sent the article to my editor, then I started researching my next article, which has to do with shipping pets. By late afternoon, all that researching had made me pretty hungry again, so I made a single-serving bag of popcorn. While the popcorn popped I talked to a coworker about hot air popcorn poppers and how they are better, but I probably should have listened more closely to the popcorn, because wouldn't you know, it burned! I smelled like burnt popcorn the rest of the day. Oh well.

I left work at 5 and the commute was super easy, because it is usually super easy if you leave the office before 5:15. I don't know why the commute gets worse as it gets darker. But it does. When I got home I called up a friend and chatted on the phone for awhile. Then I fixed another Lean Cuisine for dinner, which means boy oh boy did I get a lot of sodium today! I read some of "Middlemarch" and then changed clothes for yoga class.

I walked down to yoga and it was generally a good class. Apparently I am starting to do something weird with my knees in certain poses, where I just sink into the joint. In a bad way. So the teacher told me to watch that. After class the yoga teacher told us some anecdotes from her recent trip to India for the guru's birthday. It sounded nice.

Then I walked back home and took a shower. Yes, that puts the shower count at 2 today, but that means I will have less to do in the morning. Now I am writing this blog and listening to my Ipod. Right now the Beatles are playing. I have a cousin who knows Ringo. After I finish this blog entry I will probably draft up tomorrow's picture of the day and then maybe read some "Middlemarch." It was a very busy day, Diary, but a pretty productive one. I think these short work weeks with long holiday weekends agrees with me.

Talk to you tomorrow, Diary.

XOXO,
Molly

Nothing's ever gonna stand in my way again

In a sign that I either need to pick more manageable goals or stop putting things off to the last minute, I have started having anxiety dreams about reaching my blog goal. Because I can create anxiety about just about anything. This particular dream involved me sitting at home, trying to finish my blog on the last possible night, and the power going out so that I couldn't use the internet. I woke up in a cold sweat.

Here are 13 other things that might hinder me from finishing on time. I picked the number 13 because it signifies unluckiness, and not finishing 200 entries would be unlucky. Also, at this writing, there are 13 posts left to go. After this writing, there will be merely 12.

1. Writer's Block
Crippling, crippling writer's block. Right now I have a little post-it with subjects left to cover, but there aren't enough to reach the required number of posts. Unfortunately, the anxiety I described earlier sometimes fuels the fire of the my writer's block.

2. My job
Man, last year at this time, I had a job, but I hadn't started it yet. That was so awesome, because you don't have to waste any time looking for a job and you're not wasting any time on the actual job. Working really hinders blogging.

3. Haircut
Tomorrow night I'm getting a haircut; that is time that could be better spent blogging, unless something ridiculously funny or weird happens, in which case I can turn that into a blog entry.

4. Finishing "Middlemarch"
Look, I'm super anal-retentive and riddled with needless anxieties, with one of the most superfluous anxieties being the need to not be in the middle of a book at the end of the year. That way, I can make a clear break and distinguish 2008 as the year I read 15 books and 2009 as the year I read 18 books. Rather than saying 14 ½ and 18 ½ which is just too weird. I have several hundred pages left to go of Middlemarch, though. One entry is reserved to review it. Will I meet this goal? Will I waste valuable blogging time reading, or vice versa? Why oh why God is life so hard?

5. Commuting
Until I can figure out a way to type while driving, commuting is a waste of time, blog-wise. So my commute better not take a minute longer than normal this week or all hell will break loose.

6. Disease
If I get a cold, it would hamper my ability to finish 200 entries. Food poisoning would be even worse. But more devastating diseases could also occur and they will take up time because they require seeing a doctor and such, and it would take me awhile to even figure out where to go. And let's say I get a disease that makes all my fingers fall off, that would be detrimental. Unless I recover my abilities quick enough to make all the last entries very inspirational and moving. If I have to, I'll dictate them by blinking my eyes. EVEN IF I CAN TALK.

7. Shocking Death of a Celebrity
When a shocking death occurs, along the lines of your Tim Russert's or your Heath Ledger's, all I do is read things off the internet about that person. Even if I'm not that interested in them. So hopefully, there will be no shocking deaths in the next few days. And of course, hopefully nothing will happen to Barack Obama because I would completely shut down.

8. My new computer
My new computer kind of scares me! I talked about this last night! But I am not completely sure how it works and I have no time to figure that out because I have to BLOG!

9. My need to eat things
Man, why do I have to stop at periodic intervals and eat things? It takes so much time to figure out what I'm going to eat and then fix it and then eat it and then clean up after it. That time could be better spent BLOGGING.

10. Nothing interesting happens to me in the next 50 or so hours
This one is pretty likely. If nothing interesting happens, then it will be harder to blog without resorting to online personality quizzes. If you know me, then try to create an interesting situation for me, okay?

11. A natural disaster or snow occurs in Atlanta
Both of these things would surely eat up my time, as well as affect my commute.

12. Something awful happens to Blogger
What if I end up writing 13 entries and then I can't even post them due to some technological malfunction?

13. Identity theft
This seems to be time-consuming from what I understand.

wanted poster

As I mentioned ever so briefly, a dog killed some of the neighbors' chickens on Christmas eve. I know this because when my dad and I were driving to get the beef tenderloin that was to be served for Christmas dinner, we saw that dog with a chicken in its mouth. It was crazy. I tried to get my camera out, because that scene would have made a stupendous Picture of the Day as well as a great piece of evidence for our neighbor. But the dog ran away, chicken and all, before I could get the shot. The dog got seven chickens total and I think went back for seconds on another day. Unfortunately, chickens are dumb and some of them were roosting outside, making them easy pickins for the dog. I worry most of all about the three little neighbor girls, who have created quite a little business out of selling the free-range eggs that their chickens produce. Their prices are lower than store prices, and those free-range eggs, when cooked, make for really, really yellow food products.

But here is an artist's rendition of the scene of the crime. It was a grey day, which is why there's so much grey. Think of this as a pseudo-Picture of the Day.

another Tiki post

Well, here we are in the blog home stretch. 3 days, 15 entries. As I look back over my Christmas break, I do wish I had done a little bit more in terms of writing blogs or at least finish the book I am determined to finish before the New Year. Or maybe I should have done some work so that I could do those things because my work was all done. Not that I would do that or anything. Work time is for working, I would like to say, in the event that my boss ever finds this blog.

So what did I do on Christmas break instead? Well, there was a fair amount of eating. I worked on the puzzle, as discussed earlier. Christmas stuff that included opening presents and running errands and drinking. Played games. But one thing I did almost every day is play with Tiki, the cat.

I have written about Tiki in another Picture of the Day post, but here is an update. Previously, Tiki had let me pet her a bit, but that has stopped. Now, she either hates me or sees me as a playmate; I prefer to think it's the latter. We kind of wrestle, as much as small cats and big people can wrestle. It involves me trying to pin her down by her limbs or scratch her belly, and she tries to scratch me or bite me. It's not the fairest trade-off but it's fun. I guess Tiki thinks so too, because on Sunday morning, she came to where I was sitting, licked my big toe, and then got into wrestling position.

I also spent a good deal of time outside trying to find Tiki and get her back inside. Tiki just wants to explore outside, but that makes me nervous because we've lost cats to packs of wild dogs before, and on Christmas eve, a big dog killed seven of the neighbors' chickens. So I tried to protect Tiki, but Tiki has learned that there are certain places I can't get her, like under cars and in between bushes. So I had to chase her a lot.

Man, if I had written blogs instead of playing with Tiki, the blog would be done for the year by now. But look at today's Picture of the Day, of Tiki sitting under the Christmas tree like a little present, and perhaps you will see why she was just too hard to resist.


I don't know that we still need to put the Power Ranger on the tree, but we do:

And here is the whole tree:



Sunday, December 28, 2008

I forgot January 3!!!

Oh crap. Right after I posted that last entry I realized that I had left January 3rd off, which is the real end of this week. But then I realized that leaving that date off provided me with something of an opportunity. See, after this coming January 3, the date will be forever remembered as the day that my cousin Mary Henry got married to Brad; faithful readers of the blog will remember that last year around this time, there was a whole week dedicated to Mary Henry and Brad as they provided me with a list of questions I could answer to rack up more blog entries. Well, it seems they’ve done it again, because by leaving off January 3 in the last post, I have the opportunity to give it more attention, and also, a separate entry. Even when they’re not even trying, Brad and Mary Henry manage to help me reach my blog goals.

So let’s take a look back at January 3’s history, to determine if it is an auspicious date for marriage.

Notable Events occurring this day:
1496: Leonard da Vinci unsuccessfully tests a flying machine.
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: Even geniuses fail, so don’t give up on the marriage if one time you have a fight.

1925: Benito Mussolini announces he’s taking dictatorial powers over Italy
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: No one should act like a dictator in marriage, because dictatorships are generally not well-remembered.

1953: Frances Bolton and her son, Oliver, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress.
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: Teach your children well, as Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young would say.

1962: Pope John XXIII excommunicates Fidel Castro.
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: See above re: dictators. Also, don’t become communist.

Notable births occurring this day:
1892: J.R.R. Tolkien
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: Not all those who wander are lost. But if you do think your spouse is lost, you should probably go look for them since you're sorta responsible for them now. Also, if you don't, you might be a suspect in the disappearance.

1945: Stephen Stills
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: I would just like to say that you know how above, I wrote that you should “teach your children well”? I wrote that BEFORE I EVEN KNEW THAT TODAY WAS STEPHEN STILLS’ BIRTHDAY, WHICH HAS GOTTA BE SOME KIND OF GOOD SIGN FOR BRAD AND MARY HENRY.

1956: Mel Gibson
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: You shouldn’t abandon the Episcopal church to follow any weird offshoots of Catholicism.

Notable deaths occurring this day:
1903: Alois Hitler, father of Adolf Hitler
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: What is it with you guys and dictators??

2002: Freddy Heineken
What this means for Brad and Mary Henry: Drink Dutch beer whenever possible.

Overall, it seems like Brad and Mary Henry will really be able to claim this day as their own, because not too many significant historic things happened. I approve it as a good choice.

This Week in History: December 28-January 2

This is the first entry I’m writing on my new laptop! It was a gift I gave myself for Christmas and so far all this gift has done is freak me out. It is so new and different than what I am used to. I am trying not to dwell on it and to power through these last blogs before the end of the year. So let’s take a look at what happened this week in history, if my new laptop will cooperate and not freak me out for that long.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: DECEMBER 28
A lot of really interesting things worth writing about happened today, but I didn’t want to write about any of them when I spotted that today is Sienna Miller’s birthday. She is just four months older than me but already she has been engaged to Jude Law and had an affair with the married Balthazar Getty. And what have I done? I don’t even know anyone named Balthazar.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: DECEMBER 29
According to Wikipedia, today is the day that the Russians finally killed ol’ Rasputin back in 1916. But I clicked on Rasputin’s entry to learn more and found that this is only true if you recognize the Gregorian calendar rather than the Julian calendar because if you’re going by the old style than it’s a whole other date entirely. That made me tired and I didn’t want to read any more on the matter.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: DECEMBER 30
For those of you who are fans of the Today Show, today is both Meredith Viera AND Matt Lauer’s birthday. The question is, what significance does this day have for Al Roker? That’s not really a good question, but I didn’t have anywhere to go with the Meredith Viera/Matt Lauer thing other than a Where in the World is Matt Lauer joke, which could hardly be considered a joke at all.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: DECEMBER 31
Oh man, if you think lots happened on this day, being New Year’s Eve, then you are right. All sorts of important stuff happened as folks tried to get their milestones in before the start of the new year. But the one I am choosing to highlight is extremely personal, as today is the date of birth of my reputed ancestor, George Gordon Meade. I have written of this connection before: http://iwiggleitjustalittlebit.blogspot.com/2007/07/if-you-take-away-e-its-also-delicious.html This got me wondering, could I be related to anyone else celebrating a birthday this day? I looked over the options and here are my top three choices for possible relatives: Henri Matisse, Elizabeth Arden, and Ben Kingsley.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: JANUARY 1
Wikipedia has so many historic events listed for this day that I found it overwhelming, much as I find my new computer overwhelming. For simplicity’s sake, I’ll send a shout-out to Barry Goldwater, born this day in 1909. My dad recently said that he would have liked to have seen what a Goldwater presidency would have been like, and I have spent many hours hunting down Goldwater buttons with him. His middle name is Morris.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY: JANUARY 2
On this day in 1942, former speaker of the house Dennis Hastert was born. I’m not going to lie…sometimes I see the name Dennis Hastert and think they’re talking about the guy who played Mr. Belding on Saved by the Bell. But that was Dennis Haskins, which is totally different; he was born on November 18, 1950, if Wikipedia is to be believed.

a tip: do the border first

Well, Christmas break is almost over. Right now I’m sitting at my brother’s apartment, playing Yahtzee, blogging and waiting to eat some barbeque ALL AT THE SAME TIME. That is what I call multitasking, though my fellow Yahtzee players probably wish I was a little more focused on the game.

After lunch I will drive back to Atlanta. When I go, I will leave one major Christmas activity unfinished, and that is the holiday puzzle. Many Christmases, my family works a puzzle after we’re finished opening up presents. Then my dad shellacs all of the puzzles and frames them, and they form the majority of his law office decoration. Some of the puzzles that I can think of off the top of my head include a Presidents puzzle, a First Ladies puzzle, a Civil War puzzle, a Kennedy puzzle, a Lincoln puzzle and a United States puzzle.

Though Dad got a North Carolina puzzle and a Founding Fathers puzzle last Christmas, we took a bye year and didn’t do a puzzle. Which means I was only itching all the more to get a puzzle going this year. My dad got this puzzle from my mom on Christmas morning:

It’s a puzzle called “Grand Ol’ Gang” and it shows Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, T. Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan and Bush I and II playing poker with Abraham Lincoln. When Dad viewed the puzzle, he made humorous observations, such as Nixon was likely cheating and the reason George W. Bush didn’t have cards in his hand was that he didn’t understand how the game was played. Yet despite these witty remarks, Dad remains a Republican through-and-through. So this was a pretty good puzzle for him.

We have said this about many puzzles, but this puzzle is especially difficult. The pieces are very oddly shaped, but more specifically, many of the pieces are very dark. The clothes are dark, and most of the background is dark. The more I worked this puzzle, the creepier I found this darkness. The background looks fairly apocalyptic, moreso than the picture above may let on…and 8 of the men who might know how to fix it are in a bunker playing poker? It seems extremely inappropriate. To be fair, there is a companion puzzle to this one, featuring Democrats, and I will have to go back to check to see if the Democrats are similarly playing the fiddle as Rome burns. Methaphorically of course.

I probably only need another 90 minutes with that puzzle to finish it, but I’m leaving right after the barbeque. So today’s Picture of the Day is the puzzle in progress, with my main helper man William and little Tiki Monster looking on.
Between the time that I wrote the entry and the time I posted it, I played some Yahtzee. William was slightly offended at the description of "main helper man" and I'd like to amend my comments to point out that he spent several hours working on the puzzle by himself, during which time he put together at least two presidents. Sorry William. But even though Tiki is not here to defend herself, I don't think she'd find any fault with her description.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

doughboy, part 2

After posting yesterday’s Picture of the Day, I started to feel a little bad, because truth be told, there is another doughboy in my life. The Pillsbury one, of course. Here is that doughboy in today’s Picture of the Day, with Barnabas Bear and his new bear brother Chester. Chester came on Christmas day as a present from my brother William, but I digress. This story is about the Pillsbury doughboy.

This doughboy used to live at my grandmother Mimi’s house. When I used to go visit Mimi as a little girl, I would put that doughboy in a little stroller and push it around the neighborhood. We’d go off to feed the ducks or to drop leaves off the side of a bridge so that they went off to Never-Neverland because those were the kinds of things I did when I visited Mimi. Then, likely, we came back to the house and Mimi fixed us a cheese plate and some ice cream because there was always good eatin’ at Mimi’s house.

Mimi died when I was in the fifth grade, and it fell upon us to clean out her house. We took a fair share of stuff but there was no way everything could go. As my parents remember it, I said goodbye to the doughboy and put him in the pile to go to the dump. But dad said I didn’t seem quite convinced, and when he took that load to the dump he pulled that doughboy back from the edge of extinction. When he got home, he gave me the doughboy and said that he’d heard the doughboy saying, “Save me! Save me!” This is a situation where the written word really fails to convey the essence of the story because my dad does a perfect Pillsbury doughboy voice.

So legend has it that the doughboy can never be thrown away, because he will cry out and pierce your heart. And that is the tale of the other doughboy in my life.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Church Christmas Pageant: A Review

My family goes to church on Christmas eve. For the past few years, we’ve gone to the late service which starts at 10 pm, but you have to get there an hour beforehand. It is a lovely service but there has been some concern recently that the start time is a little late for some more elderly family members who would like to get home and go to bed. So this year we decided to go to the earlier service, at 4 pm, which doubles as the children’s Christmas pageant.

Now, I have to explain to you about me and this church Christmas pageant. When I was a little kid, I just delighted in the Christmas pageant. How it worked was this: one of the older kids read the Christmas story, while the other older kids went through the church and asked kids if they’d like to play a part. Then the kid got dressed right then and there and ran up and took his or her place in the Nativity scene. Of course, every little girl’s dream is to play the Virgin Mary, but there are many other good parts for girls, including angels and lambs. And truth be told, in a pinch, I would have played a Wise Man or a shepherd. For the baby Jesus. To me, the fun was in the surprise of not knowing if you would get picked, and then experiencing the thrill of getting picked.

Well, apparently the powers-that-be decided to do away with that thrill, and assign parts. I heard one reason was that parents were upset that children they dragged to church Sunday after Sunday didn’t get choice roles, while children who were just Christmas/Easter people were showing up and getting good parts. To this I say bah humbug, because imagine if you only went to church twice a year, and then one day you show up and a person says, here why don’t you do something? That would get me a lot more interested in a church, and perhaps persuade me to get my parents to bring me back, then showing up once a year and watching other kids do something without me.

But for whatever reason, I was not consulted on the decision, and I vowed to forever boycott the soul-sucking scene that was a pre-arranged Nativity play. Now years and years had gone by, and I decided to keep an open mind about it at this 4 pm service. I also decided to review the pageant for you, my dear readers.

Though I was not issued a press pass beforehand, I entered the room where the children were being assembled because I know people. There, I was threatened by Debbie that I better give this pageant a good review because she reads the blog and she knows my mother. Luckily, my journalistic integrity and objectivity is too great to be compromised by such threats.

My mother talked with another woman about her daughter’s smocked dress because at big premieres like this, it’s always important to find out what other people are wearing.

Then I was shown to my seat, which to tell the truth was only mediocre for a member of the working press. Small children sang songs, allegedly to get me into the Christmas spirit, but I did not find the songs very joyful. One song was about how all the little children should come to Bethlehem. On the one hand, that was not very inclusive because there were many adults there, and on the other hand, I don’t think small children should be wandering about the middle east on their own, for there is much violence in the area.

Then the service started. As usual with church services, there was a procession into the church, but because of the pageant, the characters processed also, wearing their costumes. I took the opportunity to note that the girl playing the Virgin Mary was wearing sparkling red Converse sneakers. Interesting choice. Following the Holy Family was an angel carrying a doll. This angel, instead of being filled with heavenly joy at carrying the Christ Child, spent the procession shooting dirty, dirty looks at the shepherd that was also accompanying the couple, perhaps because the shepherd was playing a little fast and loose with his staff.

Now, in my day, the Christmas pageant seemed to be read more or less directly from the Bible, and as source materials go, I think that’s a pretty good one. However, for this performance, the powers-that-be decided to go with an adaptation by one Jerome Berryman, who is an Episcopal priest who developed this entire Sunday School curriculum. Well, Godly Play wasn’t developed til after my time so I can’t vouch for its success in Sunday School. But I must tell you, this Christmas pageant was found lacking, script-wise, in this reviewer’s opinion.

The story at the heart of any Nativity scene is a simple and beautiful one. Yet Jerome Berryman, apparently never having seen the Charlie Brown Christmas special that celebrated the simplicity, decided to spice it up a little bit with flowery language and superfluous, speculative details. Berryman goes to great lengths to describe the town of Bethlehem, including a lot of information of animals. We are told that “donkeys chew their barley and broken straw while weary cows lean and rest at the end of the day. Sheep nearby are almost asleep. Doves coo in the rafters.” Then, after those lines, Berryman insists, “All is still and quiet in the little town.” BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DOVES COOING AND THE DONKEYS CHEWING ON WHATEVER THEY CAN GET THEIR PAWS ON, JEROME???? HOW CAN IT BE STILL AND QUIET IF THAT IS GOING ON????

I feel the narrator of the pageant was hindered by these lines. At one point, she was supposed to say, “They are Joseph and Mary from Nazareth!” but she really didn’t sell me on that exclamation mark, apparently because she knew that she had more crazy crap to plow through. Mary and Joseph decide to sleep in the stables, represented by a simple stage. To this reviewer, Joseph looked a little too smug for a guy whose wife was carrying a baby not his own and Mary looked a little too perky for a young woman about to give birth in a stable.

This play included an odd dramatization of childbirth. After the lines that tell us that Mary had already wrapped the baby up and put it into the “feed box” (I guess Berryman found “manger” too complicated a concept), an angel came up the aisle to deliver the baby to the couple. The angel, freed from the company of that crazy shepherd, was no less surly.

More and more children made their way to the scene in a midst of ridiculous lines. Animals were there; I thought one boy was playing a chicken but my brother told me later it was supposed to be a dove. “Shepherds watching their shadowy sheep” came, even though I’m not quite sure how the sheep were shadowy in the dark. The wise kings came, “following the wild star, the destiny they had never seen before, and they are following it.” That’s a real line. I didn’t change it at all. But it wasn’t my favorite description of the wise men, which was this: “Their restlessness rests at last.”

As I observed the children find their spots, I thought they looked a bit bored. They were playing roles they knew they were going to play for weeks, and if they were spontaneously picked, it’s possible they might have looked a little bit more freaked out, which I think is probably how most people were that night. It’s a more “Method” way of doing things.

But then something happened that warmed my heart a little bit and converted me on this concept ever so slightly (not Berryman’s script, just the concept). At the end of the play, the narrator says some psychobabble about how the children should bring their gifts of stars to the Christ Child. And then, there were these golden stars on sticks that were handed out to all the children in the congregation who wanted one. And all those children with their stars surrounding the Nativity scene was in fact very beautiful.

So, the Nativity play was, in some ways, like it used to be, because everyone got to participate by holding a star. And maybe it’s okay if you know beforehand whether you’ll play Mary or an angel or a wise man, so you don’t freak out too much over your part or worry you’ll be passed over. But all I know is that the Nativity play needs a new script, and I have verbal contracts with the children and youth directors as well as the priest to write a new one.

Sadly, I probably won’t ever see my script performed, as my family and I decided that the Christmas pageant was something to be experienced only every couple of years. It’s just far too loud in comparison to the later service, which is more dignified and elegant. Still, I am glad I went to this one, and I give the children and staff behind Nativity 2008 credit for overcoming the ridiculous script. Again, I should note it’s only the silly script I found ridiculous, not the actual biblical story of the event. Don’t mess with a winner is all I’m saying.

doughboy!

If you type “doughboy” into Wikipedia, there are a few possible entries you might be directed to: Doughboy as a slang term for American soldiers, the Pillsbury Doughboy advertising character, a band called the Doughboys (originally from Canada, they have now broken up), the fictional movie character Darin ‘Doughboy’ Baker, and Doughboy Island, which is in Tasmania.

But if you are me or one of my brothers, there is only one thing that you think of when you think of the word doughboy, and that is this thing:

This is my dad’s doughboy. It is on a counter in the kitchen. He keeps various papers in it and every few months he has to clean out the doughboy. If you are ever looking for spare keys or paper that might be located on the counter, then “to the right of the doughboy” or “next to the doughboy” is a perfectly acceptable direction to give. The doughboy is a well-known landmark in our house.

And apparently it was in my dad’s house growing up, as well. I asked my dad about his doughboy, and he said it was just something that was always in their house and his mom gave it to him when he went to law school, or thereabouts. Dad said a doughboy gets its name from its original purpose, which was to knead dough.

Well, flash forward many years, and picture my little family sitting around our Christmas tree. We had opened all our presents, and there were three gift bags left. Normally, we open our presents one at a time, so that Christmas lasts longer and so we can all enjoy seeing what everyone else got. But these bags, said mom and dad, all needed to be opened at the same time.

We dove into our bags and what do you think was there?! A doughboy! We all got a doughboy! We took out our doughboys and raised them above our heads and we were all saying doughboy over and over again. And the happiness of three kids getting doughboys is today’s Picture of the Day:

Now we all have a doughboy and don’t have to fight over who gets Dad’s doughboy. As my brother said, there probably wasn’t any other home in the world where three kids got doughboys and experienced the same kind of happiness we did.

I should probably note that before writing this entry I did approximately three minutes of internet research, and if the internet is to be believed, the proper term is dough box. But you can try all day to talk me into that, and I will insist on calling my present a doughboy. That’s just the way it is.

unto us a president is given

Alright, so the Christmas Picture of the Day is a bit late. But certain circumstances, such as alcohol consumption, a lack of internet at my house and general holiday merriment prevented me from posting a blog yesterday. It is just too hard to blog on Christmas, even if you are trying to reach 200 entries by the end of the calendar year.

Anyways, I had a very nice Christmas. I got a lot more than a painted wagon and an apple, I can tell you that! If I were to put a theme on my Christmas gifts, that theme would be Barack Obama. Apparently I have mentioned quite a few times that I am extremely fond of Barack Obama, and so many people in my family chose to use that as a guiding principle in gift-giving. I got an Obama sticker in my stocking. I got a framed Obama poster. My brother and my sister-in-law gave me the children’s books telling of the life story of our president-elect, each of which have the most darling and beautiful illustrations. And if real pictures are more your thing, I got the Time Magazine and the Life Magazine commemorative Barack Obama editions. I even got an Obama t-shirt from the cat.

Even though I got many wonderful things in addition to my Barack Obama gifts, those things are what I am choosing to highlight as today’s Picture of the Day:


"Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you may have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-El, to save the planet Earth."--Barack Obama

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

apple cart

This morning, I headed out with my dad to the Fresh Market, to pick up the big hunk of meat that my family will be enjoying for Christmas dinner. Dad wanted to go early since the Fresh Market is not the kinda place you want to be at the last minute on Christmas eve. So in return for getting up so early, I wanted Dad to get me some breakfast. We decided to go to the downtown location of the popular franchise Jersey Mike’s, because they started serving breakfast and we figured we’d see what they offered.

I had sausage, egg and cheese that was served in wrap form, and it was delicious. Dad had an everything pork roll, which the guy working at Jersey Mike’s said was unique to Jersey Mike’s located below the Mason-Dixon line. It was basically summer sausage with egg and cheese on an everything bagel. Dad said it was good. The guy who waited on us also said that the veggie omelet was good, but it sounded like that was the only thing he’d tried there because he was vegetarian. It must be hard to work at a sub shop if you’re vegetarian. Though maybe it eliminates temptation.

Anyways, while we were waiting for the food to be prepared, I noticed a box that had a sign over it that said “Free—take one—happy holidays.” I got up to see what they had, and when I returned I said, “Oh, it’s just apples.” I want to clarify here that it’s not that I dislike apples. I think I just had my hopes set too high, because I was hoping the box had cookies or something. But when I got back, and when I exhibited derision regarding the apples, my dad told me the saddest story ever.

Here is the sad story: Apparently when my dad’s dad was little, the family didn’t have any money for Christmas. And this was before the Great Depression, so I can only imagine what the Depression-era Christmases were like. So for Christmas that year, all they got was an apple or an orange in the stocking, and my grandfather’s dad painted a red wagon that they already had green so it would seem like new. An apple and a painted wagon, and that was Christmas. Boy oh boy did I feel bad about mocking the apples then. I felt like the worst person in the world. So I went up and took an apple and got one for my dad, and it is today’s Picture of the Day:



This story and picture will hopefully remind us all that even if we don’t get everything we want for Christmas, we’re probably getting a whole lot more than an apple/orange and a repainted wagon.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

hap-hap-hap-happy holidays

Today's Picture of the Day was approximately one year in the making. Last year, right around this time, I had just accepted a new job, the one I have now. Right after Christmas, my mom and I came down to Atlanta to find an apartment. When we first got into town, I drove her by my office, so she would know where that was, and would keep that in mind when we were thinking about commute times.

The office building was still decked out for Christmas, by which I mean that there were these giant ornament balls outside the building. As if the building were a Christmas tree, and these ornaments fell off, I guess. It made it easy to point out the building to my mom, and because she likes things like that, she was pretty impressed. "We should get a picture of you with those ornament balls before we leave," she said.

Then we went into the mad dash of apartment hunting. Finally, I found one, signed the lease, etc. On our way out of town, we decided to drive from the apartment to the office to time my commute, and to get a picture of me with those Christmas ornaments.

So we drove to the office…and the ornaments were gone! It was only a few days after Christmas, and it was like Christmas had never ever happened. At that point, I started to have a few doubts. I had only seen my office building with those Christmas ornaments in front, and without the ornaments, things looked a little less shiny, a little less attractive.

Okay, I made the part about having doubts up. I just wanted to give my story a little dramatic tension. But anyways, it was sad to have missed my chance to get a picture with the Christmas ornament balls, but it taught me an important lesson. Don't postpone your chance to take pictures with large seasonal decorations.

That's why when my chance came around again this year, I didn't hesitate. Well, I kind of did. Instead of getting my picture taken with the holiday ornaments during the unseasonably warm December we've had, I waited til the day before vacation started, when the temperatures plunged to 20 and 30 degrees. That means that in the Picture of the Day below, I am so so cold. And as a result of being cold, my photographer and I didn't really want to play around and figure out the best angle for these pictures. We just took two and ran back inside where it was warm.

One sad thing that you learn when you're up close and personal with the ornaments is that they're all scratched up. But here you go, Mom. Here are pictures of me with those ornaments, one year later.